Goodnight Kisses

Topher587

So I am getting prepped to go to sleep. Nothing strange. I hit the lights off and flip my cell phone open, lighting the room so that I can make my way towards my bed. It's dark, and the AC has been broken so there is a constant dripping noise I can hear from the hallway. I am thinking "This sucks. I hope it doesn't keep me awake." Climbing into bed, I lie back and grab some covers and pull them towards my chest and feel something move down my arm and slip through my fingers. Something that is a lot smoother than any of the blankets I have ever used.

I am immediately alarmed for some reason. It felt like my dog's tail or something, but the door to my room has been closed all day, and I would have bumped him with my legs much earlier. So I get up and out of bed and flip the light on. I look into the pile of blankets and feel the tassels of some quilt thing I made and it doesn't feel the same. I flip it over and what? A snake. About a foot and a half long. Blargh.

So I pace around the room for a second like a girl. He isn't moving around a whole lot, so I just pick up the blanket and carry him outside.

This thread is for unusual sleeping partners.



tl;dr: Motherfuckin' snakes in a bed

#pipe

Your mom in 3... 2...

mrpaku

always check for snakes before you lay down and alligators before you have to drop a deuce

didn't your father teach you this

Whippy

your mom, lol

Nucsh

Hahahaha oh man Topher

He just wanted snuggles

#pipe

mrpaku wrote: »

always check for snakes before you lay down and alligators before you have to drop a deuce

didn't your father teach you this

Check the toilet seat or you'll sit right on a redback and he'll bite your behind.

taoistlumberjak

#pipe wrote: »

Your mom in 3... 2...

I wanted to do it so bad, but I was expecting to be adminraped for doing it

potatoe

jesus christ it's a snake get in the van

#pipe

WhipstitchZombie wrote: »

your mom, lol

^5

Wrench N Rockets

Oh god my head is so full of mucus right now.

Garlic Bread

mrpaku

#pipe wrote: »

mrpaku wrote: »

always check for snakes before you lay down and alligators before you have to drop a deuce

didn't your father teach you this

Check the toilet seat or you'll sit right on a redback and he'll bite your behind.

^5 for getting raised on hick aphorisms

BYToady

You can't sleep here, it's snake country.

Topher587

Oh my. What a strapping hero.

Garlic Bread

there's a snake in my bed

BusterK

:winky:

Keith wrote: »

there's a snake in my bed

:winky:

mrpaku

i used to yell "somebody's poisoned the waterhole" at parties, sometimes

Druhim

As long as it's not poisonous or a constrictor, snakes are sweet.

Vivixenne

Druhim wrote: »

As long as it's not poisonous or a constrictor, snakes are sweet.

Agree.

Topher587

Snakes are usually okay by me. But surprise snakes? I have to draw the line somewhere.

Garlic Bread

Topher587 wrote: »

Snakes are usually okay by me. But surprise snakes? I have to draw the line somewhere.

It's not a surprise if they yell rape

#pipe

somebody poisoned the waterhole!

Thanks a lot kieth, now I have to watch both toy story movies and cry during the song about the girl giving away her cowgirl doll.

Abracadaniel

We had a cool black snake hanging around here a week or two ago.

He was neat.

Also this spider:

mrpaku

one time i was eight and i went to grab the hose and it jumped up and tried to bite me

i kind of had an antagonistic relationship with snakes for like five years after that

Druhim

I admit I would be quite startled by a surprise snake in my bed but once I'd identified it was non-poisonous I'd be pretty cool with it.

Kadith

don't you mean hoses?

Garlic Bread

Druhim wrote: »

I admit I would be quite startled by a surprise snake in my bed but once I'd identified it was non-poisonous I'd be pretty cool with it.

"fuck, stay right there. i want to play with you, but i have to check my book to see if it's all good"

#pipe

OH FUCK YOU SMART HERO SPOILER TAGS

Kadith

telling if a snake is poisonous is not rocket science.

Thaox

.......The only logical conclusions is that it was assassins attempting to murder you without getting their hands dirty.

Like those pill bug things from Star Wars Episode II

Garlic Bread

#pipe wrote: »

somebody poisoned the waterhole!

Thanks a lot kieth, now I have to watch both toy story movies and cry during the song about the girl giving away her cowgirl doll.

I saw John Ratzenberger on dancing with the stars tonight

he was actually pretty good

but he had the dumbest expression on his face the whole time

Druhim

Oh for christ's sake we shouldn't have to spoiler everything that someone might conceivably be squeamish about. Grow the fuck up.

Abracadaniel

#pipe wrote: »

OH FUCK YOU SMART HERO SPOILER TAGS

wah wah wah grow a pair, etc.

Topher587

SH did you take that photograph?

potatoe

Druhim wrote: »

Oh for

christ's

sake we shouldn't have to spoiler everything that someone might conceivably be squeamish about. Grow the

fuck

up.

Vivixenne

I think the spider's cute. Fuck spoiler tags.

Kadith

thanks potatoe that was seriously offending me

#pipe

phobias are no laughing matter.

other than jestaphobia

fear of clowns.

Druhim

By that pussy logic, most of you retards should have to spoiler everything you say so I don't have to see it.

Kadith

so we should make the ignore feature automatically ignore everyone?

Abracadaniel

Topher587 wrote: »

SH did you take that photograph?

No I was holding the cardboard box I nudged the little guy into. I was walking from one room into another when something big caught my eye in the far corner.

He was at least the size of a quarter, which is suprisingly big for something that looks similar to a wolf spider.

He was fascinating, then after a few photos we let him go outside.