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I got an offer i'm not sure I should take or not
Jean
Heartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
Heartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
Alright so here,s the situation : I recently moved back from Alberta to my hometown. I currently live with my parents while I get everything in order for my new life here. I always was close to them but now it's better than ever. Had the choice been left up to my mother I would had never left in the first place.
My parents live in a pretty typical northamerican suburban house. It got a main floor and a basement. That basement was my playground when I was a kid. My parents never go to the basement. All the rooms on the main level got important renovations troughtout the years and they are very happy with it.
The basement still is in the same state it was when I was kid, excepted messier because a lot of my belongings are sitting in storage they're. Not a single renovation was done in 30 years. I asked my father why he doesn't care about his basement last year and his answer was pretty simple : Your mother and I never go they're. It's not worth the bother,
They offered me yesterday to renovate that basement and transform it into an appartment for me. Obviously, considering no work was done on that basement in 30 years, it would be a lot of work and $ to bring it up to date. I'd be expected to stay they're several years to make it worth all that trouble. If not for me they'll just keep on not bothering with that basement.
I'm torn if I should take the offer or not. On one hand, I love my parents and wouldn't mind spending more time with them. Their house is very conveniently located near the middle of town. It would be economical for me as I'd be charged below market value for rent. As long as I'm single they're is no drawback.
However, I'm aware than it would be quite the turn off for ladies and even if I do manage to get into a serious relationship while living they're, I just don't see myself raising kids in my father's basement. It just won't happen!
Toughts?
My parents live in a pretty typical northamerican suburban house. It got a main floor and a basement. That basement was my playground when I was a kid. My parents never go to the basement. All the rooms on the main level got important renovations troughtout the years and they are very happy with it.
The basement still is in the same state it was when I was kid, excepted messier because a lot of my belongings are sitting in storage they're. Not a single renovation was done in 30 years. I asked my father why he doesn't care about his basement last year and his answer was pretty simple : Your mother and I never go they're. It's not worth the bother,
They offered me yesterday to renovate that basement and transform it into an appartment for me. Obviously, considering no work was done on that basement in 30 years, it would be a lot of work and $ to bring it up to date. I'd be expected to stay they're several years to make it worth all that trouble. If not for me they'll just keep on not bothering with that basement.
I'm torn if I should take the offer or not. On one hand, I love my parents and wouldn't mind spending more time with them. Their house is very conveniently located near the middle of town. It would be economical for me as I'd be charged below market value for rent. As long as I'm single they're is no drawback.
However, I'm aware than it would be quite the turn off for ladies and even if I do manage to get into a serious relationship while living they're, I just don't see myself raising kids in my father's basement. It just won't happen!
Toughts?
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
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Would your parents be able to rent out their basement in the future, should you decide to move out? Would they be willing to do that at all (with a stranger)?
Temporarily it might be good for you, but it sounds like you're worried about their expenses for the renovation, so the above could help that in the future if you ever decide to move out (and it would help your guilt too
i wish i could see my mum and dad every day - these days it's more like every six months. that's something that can happen quickly. forget the might-be's: use your time in the way that makes the best immediate sense, and makes you happiest. that sounds like decking out the basement.
If you're in your 30s, relationships tend to move much quicker. You could unexpectedly meet the girl of your dreams and be having kids in 2 to 3 years. In this scenario you don't want to be leaving your family with financial hardship that you are partly responsible for. Seguer has a good point about their willingness to rent to a stranger, and if that isn't an issue, then you can ignore this entire paragraph.
All that said, if either you or your parents are in a real financial problem (i.e. there's a real chance you/they won't be able to pay the rent/mortgage), then I would avoid it altogether. I've never seen something tear a family apart so drastically and nonsensically as money, and if that's something you could foresee, it's just best to dodge that possibility. From your description it doesn't sound like this is an issue but I thought I would bring it up in case you simply hadn't considered it.
What's your and your parents experience with this kind of renovation? It's a hell of alot harder and a hell of alot more work than it looks like on the DIY channel, especially if this is your first time doing it.
How much work would it actually be? Is the basement unfinished (Exposed concrete/2x4s on the walls), partially finished, finished and just needs to be brought up to date?
I mean, if it's a finished basement and you just need a couple floating walls, some new carpet and a fresh coat of paint, I'd say go for it, the expense of that renovation is minimal. If it's starting with naked concrete though... That's going to be a lot more involved, probably require work permits, inspections, professionals who know what they're doing and a lot more cash, so you'll probably be expected to hang around longer.
Talk over how much of a renovation you're talking here too. Are they thinking like a full apartment (with kitchen and bathroom installations) or are they thinking "hey, toss a bed in the corner and you can use the kitchen up stairs when you want to cook"?
Second, you'll want to look into the zoning laws for your area. If it's not zoned to allow apartments or multi family dwellings, that may put a cramp on things (IE future renters). Shouldn't be a problem since you're family, but if they intend to rent the space in the future...
If you're worried about the lady folk being turned off by you living with your parents, it's easy enough to say "I rent a basement apartment" without adding "from my parents". If the unlikely thing happens and you meet your dream girl, get hitched and have a kid while in your parents basement, having a grandma or grandpa nearby can be a real blessing. Don't abuse it, or make them feel like you're taking them for granted and they'll probably be more than happy to watch your spawn now and then.
- I'm 29 yrs old. My father is 68 and mother's 67.
- Money is not an issue in our familly. Let's just say we got a comfortable amount save up
- Theorically, it would be very easy for my father to rent the basement to someone else since this town is experiencing pretty healthy demographic growth and the house is very conviently located 15 minutes away from downtown Hull/Ottawa. Would he *want* to rent to a stranger tough? No. He made that very clear.
- The basement is finished but the shower doesn't work and they're is no kitchen. The bedroom's fine with me tough (I currently sleep in that room). The way my mother presented the idea, after the renovations are done I'd never need to go upstairs anymore so fixing the shower and installing a kitchen would be a strict minimun. That shower hasn't been functional for ooo.. at least 15 years now. That bathroom's alway's been a mess, frankly I think it would be the hardest part of the job.
An small kitchen is going to be an easy $20,000 just in flooring, cabinets, sinks and appliances.
Is the basement completely unfinished? Are the interior walls already framed and awaitng drywall?
I just asked my father the size of the house, he said 1,200 square feet give or take a few.
The basement consist of
- Bedroom, which is already fine the way it is IMO,
- Small,shitty bathroom. definitively needs work.
- furnace/water tank room. not much to be said about that room.
- Roughly 60% of the space is taken up by a single large,open room. It was my playground as a kid. It's used as storage right now as I already mentionned earlier. I'd estimate 80% of the things in that room are mine.
So for the bathroom you are likely going to want to gut and redo.
Look at about 800-1100 in demo
After everything is opened it'll be about 2300-2700 to fix it proper and replace fixtures or 1400-1700 to cheat and get it working and get cheap fixtures, Run a bypass and a new line as opposed to repair and replace. Count on 1500-2000 in unanticipated costs. There is always stuff associated with opening up walls that needs to get fixed. So minmum 6k perhaps cheaper if you know someone. The kitchen can be cheap. For barebones you can do it for 2300-2500 for the power and Plumbing. 1100 for fixtures and range. Add 2300 for cabinets and countertops you install add 1500 to have someone else do it and add 2100 to change out floors if necessary. Of course you can use higher end stuff and bring up the costs. But for the barebones with cab and counter 5800, 7900 if you change out the floor.
So the question is. Would this deal work out to at least a 12k to 18k savings. Unfortunately there isn't much cost savings associated with doing this stuff yourself. Do not open up walls and root around in the plumbing without knowing what you are doing. If conditions are bad in your area or you have a plumber or electrician friend you can probably save 1500-2000.
Source myself: 2 years property inspector 1 year construction superintendent 2 years doing IGEs for facilities maintanence.
You haven't mentioned your job or future plans yet. Parents as landlords are much more foregiving of money problems if you lose your job and if you can save money living with them it will make it that much faster for you to be able to buy your own place. You know just paying to do your laundry can run 10-30/month (120-360/year) in an apartment. Living with your parents will hamper your dating life but so does not having money to do anything, not owning a car and not owning your own place at your age (I'm a little older then you but your age is in the low range of women I date). Sucking it up for a few years living at home will put you in a better overall position. As much as I like the privacy of living on my own I'm considering moving into shared accommodations even though it would make dating more difficult as it will save me anywhere from 200-400 a month (2,400-4,800 a year) and even though I don't have the best relationship with my parents I'd move in with them in a heartbeat if they lived around here to save money ( I have a good salary and benefits so the savings would allow me to be a better house in the future).
Considering you seem unsure what to do is it really worth it for your parents to do the renovations? You can stay in the basement and use their shower and kitchen. They seem to not want to be landlords for other people so this could be an expensive for them if you're only planning on being there a year or two (and the rent they could expect on the Quebec side is way less). Granted having a basement apartment may increase the selling value of the home a bit (probably less then the reno) so you may not have to stay too long to make it worth while depending on the cost and how long both you and later your parents plan on staying.
If you have more specific questions about renting in the downtown area of Ottawa send me a PM, I've moved ever year for the past two years here and will be spending some time this summer looking at the market some more as I'll likely be moving again in the next year once I find out if I'll be moving office locations in the fall/winter.
If you're that concerned about it, tell the lady you're talking to something like "I was really worried about my mother and father's ability to live alone now that they are getting older, and I couldn't bear the thought of them being in a nursing home. I live with them now so that I can get the piece of mind of knowing that there is someone there with them." Or something along those lines. Bam, you just addressed your living situation with her, and as a side bonus odds are you just got hella brownie points for being a loving and compassionate son. If that is the reason she is not interested in you than consider it a lucky break because that's not the kind of woman that you want to share your life with.
As a person that does not have a good familial relationship I'm a little jealous, and I would strongly recommend doing what is important to you now, and not worrying about what some potential partner that you may or may not meet might think about the situation at some nebulous time in the future.
as for the ladies...well your not spending 1k a month on rent, so you can always go to a hotel. just dont spend all that saved money and be suck living at home forever. make a plan to leave in 2 years and stick to it.