Buddha, the love i give and recieve from my friends and lover, and the idea that everything happens for a reason, that I go through these hard things so that I may use my experience to be more empathetic and help others.
Hi everyone. I'm a bit of a long time lurker, but I figured this might be a good place to jump into the forum again
I'm a pansexual, trans woman. I came out just last year. It's been a rough journey, but I'm so happy to have made it where I have in life.
For media with positive depictions of trans characters, I personally adore the manga and anime Horou Musuko / Wandering Son. The anime is available for streaming on crunchyroll, and the manga is being released in the US in really nicely done hardcover volumes. Some parts of it rub me the wrong way at times, but I love the characters and story. It revolves around a group of children, a few of whom are trans.
Hi everyone. I'm a bit of a long time lurker, but I figured this might be a good place to jump into the forum again
I'm a pansexual, trans woman. I came out just last year. It's been a rough journey, but I'm so happy to have made it where I have in life.
For media with positive depictions of trans characters, I personally adore the manga and anime Horou Musuko / Wandering Son. The anime is available for streaming on crunchyroll, and the manga is being released in the US in really nicely done hardcover volumes. Some parts of it rub me the wrong way at times, but I love the characters and story. It revolves around a group of children, a few of whom are trans.
I'm usually very averse to discussing transgender issues because I tend to make people angry.
See, I take issue with people who push agendas all over other people, and I also take issue with people who cram gender politics into absolutely everything they discuss.... and I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when I'm bothered by something.
It's a lot like how I have trouble telling people that I'm a feminist, because the vocal minority ruins it for me by being unreasonable and spiteful. =/
That having been said, you guys are all pretty cool here, and it looks like a good place to actually get to talk about this topic without me feeling like facepalming over and over again
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
+1
Options
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
For the trans folk here - how many of you present as your identified gender on a daily basis? Was it something you started doing very suddenly or did you gradually adjust?
For the trans folk here - how many of you present as your identified gender on a daily basis? Was it something you started doing very suddenly or did you gradually adjust?
I'd call it gradual for me, but that needs some explanation
It's not like I came out to my friends and BAM I started dressing out
Dressing up as a lady, at first, is pretty fucking scary
Growing up as a guy instilled some serious fears in presenting as feminine, and I was bullied and was called a fag enough while in elementary school
But I'd sometimes dress up a bit just in my room
maybe pose in front of the bathroom mirror
once I hit university, I met a lovely transgirl that made me feel super emboldened to dress out every day
from there, I slowly started to move away from feminine clothing resembling my old wardrobe, and began to wear dresses and skirts
many many phases
and thank Glob I started building up my new wardrobe, because I was still wearing stuff from high school
there's a few people 'round here on the forum that can attest to my horrible lack of style
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
+2
Options
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
For the trans folk here - how many of you present as your identified gender on a daily basis? Was it something you started doing very suddenly or did you gradually adjust?
it was definitely something I gradually adjusted to. I'm glad I had the ability to ease into it instead of presenting fully as male one day and then female the next.
0
Options
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
Anonymous asked homptalk:
How did you decide on your new name?
I lucked out in that it was the name on my birth certificate. I haven't thought about getting a new name, but if I did, it would be equally gender neutral, like "Alex"
For the trans folk here - how many of you present as your identified gender on a daily basis? Was it something you started doing very suddenly or did you gradually adjust?
I have been presenting as a woman full-time since last November. The progression for me started with realizing I was trans at the beginning of 2011. I moved into my own apartment away from my family that summer where I began to dress in private. I was still presenting as male for the next year.
Early summer 2012 I got up the courage to go to one of my therapist appointments in women's clothing. I was terrified I would be seen along the way, but the only person I interacted with was my therapist that day. I remember being so nervous just trying to step outside the door
My next time going out was later that summer when I went downtown to meet an LGBT support group I joined a while before. My best friend met me in the city and went to the meeting with me, which meant the world to me. He had to leave early, so I walked back to my car that night by myself. On the way home I figured, "why not?" and went to a grocery store to pick up a few things. I didn't have a single issue that whole night and felt amazing the entire time.
After that, I went to therapy dressed up most of the time, and I slowly started going to other places. I went to a restaurant one day, and I was addressed as "miss" for the first time. I kept trying to find times to go out as myself. One weekday before work I had a therapy appointment, so I woke up early, got dressed, went to an IHOP for breakfast, then to therapy, and finally I went home and switched back to guy mode for work, haha.
That fall, after coming out to my friends, family, and work, my life fell completely apart. My friends were still there to support me at least. At that point, I figured I had nothing left to lose, so in November I went full-time and never looked back.
I ended up moving across the country for a new job, and it's been an amazing experience to just be a woman to everyone I meet
For the trans folk here - how many of you present as your identified gender on a daily basis? Was it something you started doing very suddenly or did you gradually adjust?
I've been presenting full-time since January 2011, 8 months into hormones.
Before that it was gradual, started with dressing in my apartment behind locked doors, and then made myself go for a walk outside as female, then to a movie or a restaurant. After a few months I asked some of my professors if I could start coming to classes as female (I was still at university at the time), I chose the ones which were on the same days, and they said yes. So at that point I was presenting female on some days and male on others.
January 2011 I moved to a new apartment, and during the move I shipped all my male clothes back to my parents' house for donating any useable ones, and started presenting as a woman non-stop from then on.
+3
Options
AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
i thought two and a half men had a transman and not a transwoman character that was portrayed well
I guess I've been presenting fulltime for two years now, but I'm not on hormones, I keep my hair short, and all my clothes are jeans and t shirts. So basically nobody ever acknowledges me as female. I guess I could start wearing skirts everywhere, but that's not really my style. And one of the few times I have gone out wearing a skirt and makeup and other such easily recognizable lady style things, the woman at the store I went to still called me sir. It was pretty heartbreaking! That's actually probably a big part of why I mostly stick with jeans and t shirts, if I'm being honest with myself. The only other thing I can think of, since I can't get on hormones right now, is working on my girlvoice, but I live with other people and I am too self concious to practice around them. Also I guess I wouldn't even know how to start practicing that sort of thing.
So there's a whole bunch of complaining for your reading pleasure I guess.
I guess this is as good a thread as any to make a bold, shocking post that will challenge everything you thought you knew
also, a superhero dies in every paragraph
first off, I think I'm finally comfortable in (hesitantly) saying publicly, insofar as this forum and the forumer identity "dichotomy" is public, that I am trans. the hesitant part of that will become more clear later. but I mean, it's just one of those conclusions that feels right. I don't have stories like others might about how I knew since childhood I'd rather be a girl, but I'd attribute that more to ignorance that such a thing could be possible than anything. for as long as I can remember, though, I've wanted to be something else. sure, when I was younger I'd daydream about being a dinosaur or a moogle or one of many varieties or robot or tokka but not rahzar, but even since leaving that behind I've never really felt that my body belonged to me, it was just a place I was stuck in and I had to make the best of it. since coming across some new people and having my horizons broadened and doing some personal reflection, though, the idea of personally possessing femininity is just something that is appealing and feels correct and true on a level difficult to articulate
I think I'd stick with gender-neutral pronouns, though. they just go with everything
that leads into the second upsetting revelation, which is that I think self-diagnosing myself as asexual however so long ago that I learned that state existed was a mistake. it always felt something like an excuse that I just ignored the inconsistencies in, I mean I even told myself "I'm really asexual, honest, I just masturbate recreationally." I think it would be more accurate to say I am as sexual as the next person, provided the next person is not a real asexual person, and probably moreso. I think now it's just that my dissatisfaction with my body is complete enough that the idea of using it for sexual intercourse fills me with a quiet revulsion for everyone's sake, and my brain immediately files it into the "never should be allowed to happen" category. that's a pretty big thing to put out there and a pretty big thing to deal with, but that's where the last part comes in
I don't really know what to do now that I've internalized this new information. I don't really think I'm gonna do anything. the very thought of dressing as a woman or transitioning or really doing anything to actually change just seems utterly alien and completely untenable considering what I'm starting from. I'd like it if I could drop a foot in height and completely rework my skeletal structure to be less simian, but I could deal with not being able to do that, were it not for my face. I got a bad face. in my entire life I have never been comfortable seeing my face in a mirror or in a photograph. I got a face like a log from the ugly tree got carved into a hideous grotesque intended to frighten evil spirits away from a church or similar holy site. there's just some things that can't be fixed, and I feel right now that this body is one of them. so, I think I'm just gonna sit on it. like most problems I have, I'll wait and see and hope it goes away on its own. it's nothing I can't deal with, I've been dealing with it for years before I knew what the problem was, and I can keep dealing with it now. my existence isn't ruled by it, the dysphoria's not that bad. the ennui is another story, but the dysphoria I can handle.
so, that's my bold and shocking post. sweeping revelations about the person you know as dichotomy that aren't going to result in any change whatsoever because sometimes things just suck and not everybody can be happy. it's a depressing conclusion, but who better than me to offer something like that to this thread
+39
Options
AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
I guess this is as good a thread as any to make a bold, shocking post that will challenge everything you thought you knew
also, a superhero dies in every paragraph
first off, I think I'm finally comfortable in (hesitantly) saying publicly, insofar as this forum and the forumer identity "dichotomy" is public, that I am trans. the hesitant part of that will become more clear later. but I mean, it's just one of those conclusions that feels right. I don't have stories like others might about how I knew since childhood I'd rather be a girl, but I'd attribute that more to ignorance that such a thing could be possible than anything. for as long as I can remember, though, I've wanted to be something else. sure, when I was younger I'd daydream about being a dinosaur or a moogle or one of many varieties or robot or tokka but not rahzar, but even since leaving that behind I've never really felt that my body belonged to me, it was just a place I was stuck in and I had to make the best of it. since coming across some new people and having my horizons broadened and doing some personal reflection, though, the idea of personally possessing femininity is just something that is appealing and feels correct and true on a level difficult to articulate
I think I'd stick with gender-neutral pronouns, though. they just go with everything
that leads into the second upsetting revelation, which is that I think self-diagnosing myself as asexual however so long ago that I learned that state existed was a mistake. it always felt something like an excuse that I just ignored the inconsistencies in, I mean I even told myself "I'm really asexual, honest, I just masturbate recreationally." I think it would be more accurate to say I am as sexual as the next person, provided the next person is not a real asexual person, and probably moreso. I think now it's just that my dissatisfaction with my body is complete enough that the idea of using it for sexual intercourse fills me with a quiet revulsion for everyone's sake, and my brain immediately files it into the "never should be allowed to happen" category. that's a pretty big thing to put out there and a pretty big thing to deal with, but that's where the last part comes in
I don't really know what to do now that I've internalized this new information. I don't really think I'm gonna do anything. the very thought of dressing as a woman or transitioning or really doing anything to actually change just seems utterly alien and completely untenable considering what I'm starting from. I'd like it if I could drop a foot in height and completely rework my skeletal structure to be less simian, but I could deal with not being able to do that, were it not for my face. I got a bad face. in my entire life I have never been comfortable seeing my face in a mirror or in a photograph. I got a face like a log from the ugly tree got carved into a hideous grotesque intended to frighten evil spirits away from a church or similar holy site. there's just some things that can't be fixed, and I feel right now that this body is one of them. so, I think I'm just gonna sit on it. like most problems I have, I'll wait and see and hope it goes away on its own. it's nothing I can't deal with, I've been dealing with it for years before I knew what the problem was, and I can keep dealing with it now. my existence isn't ruled by it, the dysphoria's not that bad. the ennui is another story, but the dysphoria I can handle.
so, that's my bold and shocking post. sweeping revelations about the person you know as dichotomy that aren't going to result in any change whatsoever because sometimes things just suck and not everybody can be happy. it's a depressing conclusion, but who better than me to offer something like that to this thread
I don't really know if there is an answer to this but just something I have generally been musing on.
I have been wondering why on these here PA forums there seems to be a good number (compared to other places on the internet) of trans* people and that the forums in general are very trans* friendly. And I wonder why? Because its absolutely lovely, and the community here overall is pretty rad. And I just wonder how it came to be like this, wonder how it could be replicated elsewhere. Because over time there has been such a big attitude shift on these forums, especially SE++. I remember my first post in SE++ was telling someone who made a "Hi I'm new thread" to go kill themselves, and people quoted that post for a solid page at the person. I was new myself and the easiest way to slip into SE++ back then was to throw someone under the bus. Looking back I am really embarrassed about that post but you know, I hope to be able to always look back at myself in the future and think "Man, I knew so little back then" because that means I am still improving.
0
Options
AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
there might actually be an equivalent amount on other forums but it probably seems more prominent because we have a trans ex-admin turned moderator and had multiple extremely vocal and popular forumers come out
I don't really know if there is an answer to this but just something I have generally been musing on.
I have been wondering why on these here PA forums there seems to be a good number (compared to other places on the internet) of trans* people and that the forums in general are very trans* friendly. And I wonder why?
because it was dragged here, kicking and screaming
I had no idea that we had a trans moderator, that probably helps a lot.
And that's true, while my default assumption is that a forumer is a cisgendered male until given reason to suspect otherwise, that is of course an assumption. And there is plenty of reasons why (unfortunately) on many forums people wouldn't want to put their trans status out there.
0
Options
AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
I mainly roam around, staying on a forum until some seriously transphobic shit comes up, and then move on. I suspect many trans people do as well.
When a forum is really open and accepting (even like, congratulatory), trans people will eventually arrive and not be inclined to leave.
I had some extremely shit opinions in the past that this forum has helped me change. I'm quite embarrassed by some of the things I posted. But thanks to things here I better understood how to respond to a friend that came out FTM without sounding like a complete fool.
Posts
Buddha, the love i give and recieve from my friends and lover, and the idea that everything happens for a reason, that I go through these hard things so that I may use my experience to be more empathetic and help others.
http://blindandlowvisionsupport.tumblr.com/
Help me out: http://www.youcaring.com/other/help-jordan-see-ireland-before-he-goes-blind-/336416/
what pisses me off about the L word is its poor treatment of bisexuals, and its dis-inclusion of transwomen
it comes together to form an unfortunate implication of trans people
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I'm a pansexual, trans woman. I came out just last year. It's been a rough journey, but I'm so happy to have made it where I have in life.
For media with positive depictions of trans characters, I personally adore the manga and anime Horou Musuko / Wandering Son. The anime is available for streaming on crunchyroll, and the manga is being released in the US in really nicely done hardcover volumes. Some parts of it rub me the wrong way at times, but I love the characters and story. It revolves around a group of children, a few of whom are trans.
It was a pretty shit show for a whole lot of fuckin reasons
But all i can say is i recall it not doing an awful job with the trans* character it had, which i thought was surprising and pretty swell
Nice to meet you!
http://blindandlowvisionsupport.tumblr.com/
Help me out: http://www.youcaring.com/other/help-jordan-see-ireland-before-he-goes-blind-/336416/
I knew it. I fucking knew it
Your gender is actually mannequin and you're about to sculpt yourself some new bits aren't you
SCULPT ME SOME TOO
Now I have to go do homework. Night all!
http://blindandlowvisionsupport.tumblr.com/
Help me out: http://www.youcaring.com/other/help-jordan-see-ireland-before-he-goes-blind-/336416/
Sweet! Wish I could have been there to celebrate your birthday with you. I hope that your birthday was super fabulous!
http://blindandlowvisionsupport.tumblr.com/
Help me out: http://www.youcaring.com/other/help-jordan-see-ireland-before-he-goes-blind-/336416/
See, I take issue with people who push agendas all over other people, and I also take issue with people who cram gender politics into absolutely everything they discuss.... and I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when I'm bothered by something.
It's a lot like how I have trouble telling people that I'm a feminist, because the vocal minority ruins it for me by being unreasonable and spiteful. =/
That having been said, you guys are all pretty cool here, and it looks like a good place to actually get to talk about this topic without me feeling like facepalming over and over again
I am still so fucking surprised the two best representations of transpeople I've seen on TV so far were on two and a half men and becker.
Then again I've yet to see Orange Is the New Black yet, and I've heard nothing but good things about that.
Alas, I have no dowry so it is not to be
Shit you're on to me
or the kill
The link in my sig is just where I found the Pokemon artwork, and credit where credit's due and all that.
he is the greatest pokemon artist in the world
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
howdy ma'am
like no one ever was.
I'd call it gradual for me, but that needs some explanation
It's not like I came out to my friends and BAM I started dressing out
Dressing up as a lady, at first, is pretty fucking scary
Growing up as a guy instilled some serious fears in presenting as feminine, and I was bullied and was called a fag enough while in elementary school
But I'd sometimes dress up a bit just in my room
maybe pose in front of the bathroom mirror
once I hit university, I met a lovely transgirl that made me feel super emboldened to dress out every day
from there, I slowly started to move away from feminine clothing resembling my old wardrobe, and began to wear dresses and skirts
many many phases
and thank Glob I started building up my new wardrobe, because I was still wearing stuff from high school
there's a few people 'round here on the forum that can attest to my horrible lack of style
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
it was definitely something I gradually adjusted to. I'm glad I had the ability to ease into it instead of presenting fully as male one day and then female the next.
I lucked out in that it was the name on my birth certificate. I haven't thought about getting a new name, but if I did, it would be equally gender neutral, like "Alex"
I'll set em up, you knock em down
I have been presenting as a woman full-time since last November. The progression for me started with realizing I was trans at the beginning of 2011. I moved into my own apartment away from my family that summer where I began to dress in private. I was still presenting as male for the next year.
Early summer 2012 I got up the courage to go to one of my therapist appointments in women's clothing. I was terrified I would be seen along the way, but the only person I interacted with was my therapist that day. I remember being so nervous just trying to step outside the door
My next time going out was later that summer when I went downtown to meet an LGBT support group I joined a while before. My best friend met me in the city and went to the meeting with me, which meant the world to me. He had to leave early, so I walked back to my car that night by myself. On the way home I figured, "why not?" and went to a grocery store to pick up a few things. I didn't have a single issue that whole night and felt amazing the entire time.
After that, I went to therapy dressed up most of the time, and I slowly started going to other places. I went to a restaurant one day, and I was addressed as "miss" for the first time. I kept trying to find times to go out as myself. One weekday before work I had a therapy appointment, so I woke up early, got dressed, went to an IHOP for breakfast, then to therapy, and finally I went home and switched back to guy mode for work, haha.
That fall, after coming out to my friends, family, and work, my life fell completely apart. My friends were still there to support me at least. At that point, I figured I had nothing left to lose, so in November I went full-time and never looked back.
I ended up moving across the country for a new job, and it's been an amazing experience to just be a woman to everyone I meet
I've been presenting full-time since January 2011, 8 months into hormones.
Before that it was gradual, started with dressing in my apartment behind locked doors, and then made myself go for a walk outside as female, then to a movie or a restaurant. After a few months I asked some of my professors if I could start coming to classes as female (I was still at university at the time), I chose the ones which were on the same days, and they said yes. So at that point I was presenting female on some days and male on others.
January 2011 I moved to a new apartment, and during the move I shipped all my male clothes back to my parents' house for donating any useable ones, and started presenting as a woman non-stop from then on.
So there's a whole bunch of complaining for your reading pleasure I guess.
Steam
also, a superhero dies in every paragraph
I think I'd stick with gender-neutral pronouns, though. they just go with everything
that leads into the second upsetting revelation, which is that I think self-diagnosing myself as asexual however so long ago that I learned that state existed was a mistake. it always felt something like an excuse that I just ignored the inconsistencies in, I mean I even told myself "I'm really asexual, honest, I just masturbate recreationally." I think it would be more accurate to say I am as sexual as the next person, provided the next person is not a real asexual person, and probably moreso. I think now it's just that my dissatisfaction with my body is complete enough that the idea of using it for sexual intercourse fills me with a quiet revulsion for everyone's sake, and my brain immediately files it into the "never should be allowed to happen" category. that's a pretty big thing to put out there and a pretty big thing to deal with, but that's where the last part comes in
I don't really know what to do now that I've internalized this new information. I don't really think I'm gonna do anything. the very thought of dressing as a woman or transitioning or really doing anything to actually change just seems utterly alien and completely untenable considering what I'm starting from. I'd like it if I could drop a foot in height and completely rework my skeletal structure to be less simian, but I could deal with not being able to do that, were it not for my face. I got a bad face. in my entire life I have never been comfortable seeing my face in a mirror or in a photograph. I got a face like a log from the ugly tree got carved into a hideous grotesque intended to frighten evil spirits away from a church or similar holy site. there's just some things that can't be fixed, and I feel right now that this body is one of them. so, I think I'm just gonna sit on it. like most problems I have, I'll wait and see and hope it goes away on its own. it's nothing I can't deal with, I've been dealing with it for years before I knew what the problem was, and I can keep dealing with it now. my existence isn't ruled by it, the dysphoria's not that bad. the ennui is another story, but the dysphoria I can handle.
so, that's my bold and shocking post. sweeping revelations about the person you know as dichotomy that aren't going to result in any change whatsoever because sometimes things just suck and not everybody can be happy. it's a depressing conclusion, but who better than me to offer something like that to this thread
hey
cmere
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I have been wondering why on these here PA forums there seems to be a good number (compared to other places on the internet) of trans* people and that the forums in general are very trans* friendly. And I wonder why? Because its absolutely lovely, and the community here overall is pretty rad. And I just wonder how it came to be like this, wonder how it could be replicated elsewhere. Because over time there has been such a big attitude shift on these forums, especially SE++. I remember my first post in SE++ was telling someone who made a "Hi I'm new thread" to go kill themselves, and people quoted that post for a solid page at the person. I was new myself and the easiest way to slip into SE++ back then was to throw someone under the bus. Looking back I am really embarrassed about that post but you know, I hope to be able to always look back at myself in the future and think "Man, I knew so little back then" because that means I am still improving.
because it was dragged here, kicking and screaming
And that's true, while my default assumption is that a forumer is a cisgendered male until given reason to suspect otherwise, that is of course an assumption. And there is plenty of reasons why (unfortunately) on many forums people wouldn't want to put their trans status out there.
When a forum is really open and accepting (even like, congratulatory), trans people will eventually arrive and not be inclined to leave.
But then i go back and read some of those threads and the nostalgia for it dies extremely quickly.