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Roommates don't know my name
gsmittkamp
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
I have been living with some roommates for over a month now, and they have been calling me the wrong name. My name is Grant, and for some reason they have been calling me Garret. I have even told one of them about how another one had been calling me Garret, when my name was Grant. Apparently he didn't understand what I was saying, or he forgot, because everyone, (including him) is still calling me Garret. One of them basically started calling me Garrett around the others and they kind of seemed surprised that my name wasn't Grant, and they started calling me Garret. It has gotten to the point now that they have introduced me to other people as Garret, and I have simply gone along with it in order to not embarrass them in front of their guest. I have considered just letting them call me Garret, and not telling them anything, but my lease with them is for a year, and it is really uncomfortable for me being called Garret instead of Grant. I am not the type of person who speaks up about stuff like this, mostly because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings or make them feel dumb. Should I just pull them aside one day, and say, "hey, I know you have been calling me Garret, but the truth is my name is Grant; I understand how you could have gotten confused as those two names are quite similar, but I just wanted to let you know", or something like that? I just don't want them to think I'm crazy for letting them call me Garret for so long. I have thought about writing my name on stuff so they start to wonder why 'Grant' is written on so much stuff in our loft, and maybe then they would realize that my name wasn't Garret. When we first met we used email to correspond with one another, and my email address includes my full name, and I signed my emails with my real name too. Couldn't they just look at those emails like I did when I wasn't sure what their names were? Anyways, any advice guys?
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Just tell them that your name is Grant whenever they say Garret, and don't let them introduce you to people as Garret; correct them on the spot. If they ask why you didn't correct them sooner, tell them you had a bet for how long it'd take for them to realize their mistake or something. What's crazy is not correcting them.
Either way, it's best to communicate how you feel, and hope that gets them to stop.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
You don't need to make a big deal of it.
More generally Grant, this sounds like the kind of thing that would happen to me when I was suffering from particularly bad social anxiety, somehow thinking that a situation like this demonstrates my own social failings rather than just being a simple mix up. I have a totally irrational thing about avoiding calling people by name because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong, but in the real world anyone can forget a name and its not the end of the world.
If you do find social situations generally difficult the first thing to learn is to give yourself a break, everybody is too busy with their own stuff to notice half of what's going on with other people (see, the unawareness of the name mix up). You shouldn't feel awkward that your roommates are getting your name wrong, it's their mistake, not yours, and it's not the big deal you have created it to be in your mind.
Secondly, if you do suffer from social anxiety to a degree that it impacts your life (like this), professional medical help can make the world of difference.
But I could be jumping to conclusions here.
It could also be that they're playing a trick on that other guy, but either way if it's intentional it's kind of childish and beyond making sure they all actually know what your name is, as long as you're getting your mail is probably best to let it go.
That or make your real name the new wifi password, and tell them that the password is your name. See how long it takes them to get internet, and you'll know for sure.
This is a glorious suggestion.
That way you get your point across, and it doesn't seem really, really strange that you let it go on for so long.
But depending on your personality. You could just make a joke of it. Put on a name tag with your real name. Introduce yourself as Garrets twin brother who just moved in, and wear it for a few days.
Only works if you're the type to joke around a lot.
I've twice forgotten coworkers names and steadfastly called them by something else. Both of them just stuck with the new names because everyone used them. It's a term of endearment!
Correct them!
Beaten. Apologies.
Maybe you could preface it by "Hey guys, this is a bit silly but ..." or "Maybe you guys are fucking with me but ...", but the important bit is you let them know what your name is.
Since you didn't drive home the point earlier to them your name IS Garret and not Grant.
Who knows? Maybe they still call you Garret cause now its a thing, but given that these are people you live with, you should voice things they do that bother you. Like calling you by the wrong name, and introducing you as such.
If you want a less mature but also less confrontational option, get people from out of town to send you postcards. Have them addressed to "Grant" without a last name at all. (Think about what you'd say if they asked why you let them call you the wrong name for so long. "I thought you were just mumbling." "I was in this weird place where I couldn't tell if it was a joke." "I was sort of curious how long it would take." "I thought you were doing it on purpose, like maybe that was just my nickname now." "It seemed like a possibility that I had just arrived from a parallel universe in which everything was identical except my name, so I just went with it and tried not to think about what happened to the real Garret.")
I didn't bother to correct them until I'd been there for a couple weeks, in part because I had trouble understanding them at first. The point is, I missed the boat: even after being corrected, I was referred to as "Igor" for the length of my stay. Eventually it bled over into friends I made while I was there, and everyone started calling me Igor, even the ones who had been introduced to me with my real name.
The point I'm making is that unless you want to be Grant FOREVER, start correcting them now.
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I am sure "Whatsherface" and "Thatguy" feel really good about it
Just tell them your real name, OP, though I really like Ceres' idea, if you can change the WLan password.
Let's assume that they are just morons and have somehow honestly gotten it in their heads your name is really Garrett. Tell them your name is Grant. Yeah, it's gonna be a little weird because you let it go this long, but there's nothing you can do about that now, and it's gonna be a lot weirder if 6 months from now they DO inadvertently find out your name is Grant some other way (mail, etc) and wonder why you never said anything. You don't have to do it in front of other people if you're worried about embarrassing them, but who cares if they're embarrassed anyway? They're the ones you've been calling a guy they live with by the wrong name for a month.
The other possibility is that they are calling you Garrett on purpose. If so, there are worse nicknames to have. Do you by any chance wear garments with hoods a lot? Are you short one natural eye? But even if they are just doing it to screw with you, if it bothers you, tell them to quit it. Decent people will desist from something so insignificant if it's going to cause domestic disharmony with somebody they're living with for the next 11 months.
Best way I can describe it is the "1 trap" dialog from strip search. Gabe talks about his many diabolical traps, and Tycho just keeps gently correcting him.
If you can actually change the internet password that would be truly brilliant.
Dude, you can't just tell George what he should do. We need to advise Gavin and let him choose his own path. No point just saying "Hey, Gilbert, do this" or "What you need to do, Gerald, is this". I mean, it's not our place to just demand something of Glenn here.