Better Texting Please

Dagless MD

Seeing this girl on and off for seven months.

It's an LDR, which is never easy.

Basically we text eachother, a lot. But recently it's getting less and less each day. I'm finding it difficult to keep it
engaging enough to stop us from drifting apart.

Then, the other day I get a message, "When are your messages going to get intresting?"

I agreed and asked her to be more specific, "I don't know, but it's the same stuff over and over", she says.
Which is true. Infact we're both guilty of this.

It's a stupid problem. I know. But this is the sort of issue that snowballs and leads to, well, drifting apart.

I'm asking how do you keep text messaging intresting? It was easy for 6 months, this 7th one has been a bitch.
It's like I've run out of stuff to say. When I'm with her in person, there is no problem talking, text is the
problem.

I do call her, but only at weekends because thats when it's free. Theres a five day stretch inbetween that text is
the best way to stay in contact.

When she says "intresting" what could she mean? Because she either doesn't know, doesn't want to say, or
just wants me to work it out.

Any ideas of what to say to keep this intresting? Go nuts, I'm open to anything.

I'm 20, she's 17.

Any other details that will help just ask.

Thanks.

Evil Gummy

Hmn, well what are you txting her exactly on the norm?

What is she like?

I can think of some fun things to try that I would like, but I don't know her like you do.

For example, tell her you are sending her something in the mail. Tell her she'll never guess what it is.

You will no doubt get to engage in a fun back and forth session of guesses, where you are free to hint and play along while she goes crazy wondering. You have the choice of either A. sending something before you start the game, or B. sending something based off her guesses if you don't know what to send or want to surprise her by sending something she did not guess.

You could try getting her to play along with you in a txt game, like maybe you start a sentence and she finishes it?

If she is the type, sexy messages are always great!

Dagless MD

Oh you know, normal texting. What you up to? Then explaining, you know, just general day to day crap that I
shouldn't be wasting text credit on. It feels like I'm sending her anything I can think of just so it doesn't feel like
we're drifting apart.

That package idea is ace. I'd do it if only I knew what to send her. Did something like that for Valentines day, said I
was going to do something for her, but wouldn't tell her what, it drove her insane. In a good way. Worked really
well.

Nah, those cute text games, she'd think they're stupid. Thats what she's like, she wouldn't go along with
something like that. Anything romantic is risky, would have to be very tasteful.

As for sex text, been there. And yea while it's great, and she was really into it. I've also got it wrong with her, so it
would be risky. It's been a few weeks since we did that, I'm not really sure how to start it up again with making it
different from before. And not making it sound like a desperate attempt to keep things intresting.

Appreciate it EG, keep the ideas coming.

Evil Gummy

Aaah! The beauty of the package idea, is if you play it right she will tell you what she really would love to have sent to her, and THEN you send it. She'll think you're awesome for sending her something she wanted, and how did you know? Etc. People who play the guessing game reveal a lot of their desires.

"Did you send me that book I mentioned? That old movie I loved as a kid? Those tickets to such-and-such?"


I mean, if you talk to her enough you should know something to send, something she likes, personal. For example, for my birthday I was given a cinnamon bun by my date. He listened to me complaining about how much I wanted one back in December, but how I couldn't find a decent bakery to get one at.

I think he spent like $1.50, but I was so happy that he had remembered that little comment!


You could be clever, and send her a little puzzle you made, she'll bug you to give her hints to figure it out. If you make it fun, you could send her a little easter bunny candy or some socks that are her favorite color, and I bet she'll still think it was sweet.


If she likes irony, maybe find something like a book about txting, I am sure they have them out there, and send her that. Or make it yourself! I would love having a hand made funny little book relevant to my situation made and sent to me, and I am sure she would NEVER guess that was what you sent.

Fristle

If the cost of calling is the problem, you could try getting her to use Skype maybe? She doesn't have to be a technical person; if she's willing to get a headset mic for her computer it's pretty much as easy as using IM at that point.

In the interest of honesty, I don't think LD relationships are worth it. I had one for about a year, got burned, wouldn't do it again after that. But it's tough to call quits on a good thing, so I would understand if you want to work on it as best you can.

Blake T

Call her. Texting is fucking impersonal and hard to actually talk to the person. And results in far too many misinterpreted sentances.

The Cat

What the hell? You're not her entertainment. If she isn't interested in hearing what you have to say, what kind of relationship is this?

Æthelred

You only text her? Why don't you IM?

Mr_Grinch

IM + Webcam makes long distance relationships sooo much easier.

But as someone else said up there, I'm not big on them, tried them once or twice and they failed. On a more positive note though, my best mate's sister met some guy on the Internet, the entire length of the country (London to very North West of England) away and they've now moved in together and are getting married this year.

Maybe it's not just texting, come 7 months in to a relationship things do settle down. You say you have no issue actually talking to her but that could be because you've got a whole week's worth of talking to do in a weekend. If you actually saw each other every day you might be running out of things to say in person.

Zsetrek

Write her a letter.