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My roommate dropped out - a thread about roommates.
booblet0
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
so, i have this roommate. well, had. had this roommate. he was (is) a loser. he spent all day, every day, at his computer. in two months, i not once saw him move. i either saw him at his computer, or in bed when i woke up at 7 every morning. i swear to god he didn't walk there, he just.. kind of... transmutated over there. he never went to class. ever. instead, he played starcraft, counter strike, and supreme commander in cyclical rotation all day, every day. he also never talked. ever. he is (was) a computer science major. i don't think anyone told him that that degree doesn't really involve gaming. and what the fuck when did he eat or use the bathroom
anyway ~
today, i left for cell lecture at 5:30pm. i tansfered schools and got the shit time, but ya~ i left at 5:30pm, and when i got back at 7pm he had fucking vanished. all his shit is gone, like it had never been there. on my pillow, there was a note that said, "bye." i lol'd. i lol'd so hard. for like 10 minutes, on the floor. so it was more like rofling. whatever.
this thread is for roommate stories. talk about deadbeat roommates, or awesome roommates, or if you are a hobo, talk about the gentleman who lives in the cardboard box next to you, the one who cries out for santa clause in the night and twitches from heroin withdrawl.
anyway ~
today, i left for cell lecture at 5:30pm. i tansfered schools and got the shit time, but ya~ i left at 5:30pm, and when i got back at 7pm he had fucking vanished. all his shit is gone, like it had never been there. on my pillow, there was a note that said, "bye." i lol'd. i lol'd so hard. for like 10 minutes, on the floor. so it was more like rofling. whatever.
this thread is for roommate stories. talk about deadbeat roommates, or awesome roommates, or if you are a hobo, talk about the gentleman who lives in the cardboard box next to you, the one who cries out for santa clause in the night and twitches from heroin withdrawl.
booblet0 on
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You'll be wishing for him back when your new roommate starts raping you in the middle of the night and using your toothpaste.
He's like the brother I actually wanted.
So yeah.
My stepbrother is pretty obnoxious though.
My and my buddy who I get along with a cleaning for winter break, and generally getting our shit in order. Roommate number 3 had left a few days before, thank god. Roommate number 4 was a different matter. He was a cool guy, just never there as he was always busy with class. Well, we go to sleep some time around 10. He still hasn't shown, and his room is as he left it, a disaster. Tomorrow is move out day, where everyone has to be gone.
I wake up about 7 the next morning to finish up and hit the road early. I wander into the kitchen and see a note on the counter, with a key. The note said he found a cheaper place to live, that we were cool, and there was his key. I check his room, and sure enough, gone. And clean too. Over night he moved out all his stuff, furniture, and cleaned his room spotless and I didn't hear a thing in the next room.
He got fined $250 for improper checkout.
here is a picture of a smurf doll taken from his gayass smurf collection
lucky she cooks me dinner and gives me sex whenever I want
Nothing ever came of it, of course.
I hope he's dead.
ADDENDUM: He is also just plain retarded.
He treats me to dinner and movies a lot (but then I usually pick up the tab at a later date) and really he is awesome.
The only gripe I have is when he made out with my just-ex a year ago, but it's okay cause she was nuts.
Is that Devin Townsend in your avatar?
If so, TAKE ME NOW.
The Apocalypse Has Never Been More Fun
Secret Satan Wishlist!! Thinkgeek Wish List
they were disgusting
They turned out to be pretty big dicks, so when I moved out (they were staying) I hid raw chicken breasts all over the house. Under the sink, in the back of the hard-to-reach cupboard above the stove, in a shoebox in the hall closet, underneath the water heater, etc. $15 well spent.
edit: I should point out that this was done after they told me they were keeping my share of the deposit.
Where do you get off complaining at all...then?
Secret Satan
I moved out one week later.
I will destroy him amazingly
it is indeed mr. townsend.
and for clarification, i can't fathom how i could possibly complain about this. this is awesome, and very funny. it's like a very elaborate magic trick. yeah ok my roommate story is livejournalish but it's turning into a funny thread so whatever.
Your little prank was more than justified. I would have pooped in their beds as well.
Fucking Bulgarians.
that was you
you did that
also my roommate uh
quoted me false terms
er it was a joke, see. the person is actually my partner. i was setting up a predictable 'oh, stupid housemate' scenario then subverting it by disclosing finally that it is actually my significant other after all! ho-ho-ho. get it?
I actually reconciled with one of them years later, as we'd been friends beforehand, and he told me that the chicken over the sink eluded them for almost 4 months, and that by the time they found it, it had been reduced to a mushy green puddle of goo.
Now I live with my wife and she does my laundry.
Because I ran into her the other day and she's not nearly as hot as she used to be.
but still dumb
later he said he was going to build a railgun and kill me
Are you going to buy him dinner first?