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[PA Comic] Monday, November 25, 2013 - Tripartite
Geth
LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
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Well. Kratos is a dick. Ergo, prone to dick moves.
Actually the romans were pretty dickish as well.
I mean, when you adopt a fighting style and hobnailed boots partially because you want your enemies corpses to be as mangled as possible (about equivalent to shooting someone in the face because you don't want them to have an open casket funeral) you have pretty much established yourself to be a dick on a national scale. Having slaves fight to the death for your entertainment and making about zero difference between entertainers and prostitutes (if you're one, you better be ready to provide the other) is just icing on the cake. An entire nation of dicks.
In fact, have you ever looked at the words "virility" and "virtue" and thought "Hey, these words look kind of similar?". That's because they have the same root, "Virtus" (from the latin "vir", Man), a latin word that pretty much means all the things a man should be/have. Couragous, virile, resolute, self-controlled, having a dick, being a dick.
Rome, the nation that made being a dick a virtue.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
See, hearing that just tells me that you haven't played Shadow of Rome. Not only can you do virtually any barbarism, you need to mix it up to keep the crowd interesting. Imagine a Tony Hawk or SSX game where the "tricks" are mutilations.
Too bad there was a terrible stealth game tacked on to it.
Break someones arms, then cut their arms off, then their head, then beat someone else with their head and throw it into the crowd!
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He is the most well-mannered of barbarians. Especially surprising given that he seems to be a Gaul.
They might be referencing the centurion-guy's right arm.
A bit out of expected arm-bending capabilities.
This comic gives whole new meaning to "These Romans are crazy!"
I think it's the odd bend of the centurion's arm, combined with the way the barbarian's severed arm lines up with the centurion's elbow joint.
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Anyway, the Romans were dicks. The culture that had the first vestiges of modern democracy and dominance over the entire known world also gave us professional militaries, crucifixions, human and animal death arenas, and the concept of Total War (maybe not the originators, but the fact that they would sweep through and murder/enslave everyone to the last man and mutilate the bodies afterwords made their military feared, at the very least).
But at least they gave us the aqueduct.
Oh shit, I just used a French word too!
Be careful, the anti-french bureau might come for you. They've sent out several communiqués warning people away from this sort of behavior.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
I thought about "Spartan: Total Warrior" because no one thinks about that game anymore.
Sounds like an ancient times version of manhunt.
Oh god manhunt.
Oh no, they've been corrupted from within!
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Don't sweat it, we all make a little faux pas now and then.
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I'm feeling a lot of schadenfreude, though.
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