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Chatroom roleplaying /cyber-confessions/
Laikka
Hungry like the WolfJonesboro, ARRegistered User regular
Hungry like the WolfJonesboro, ARRegistered User regular
Here's a rant just to try to get things going... (This is my first time posting a thread, so I understand if it's kinda tossed out Not sure how to do this...)
If no one else has any input for this thread, then I can chalk it up to being a loser and quietly return to my corner of PA.
When I was about 13, my fourteen year old brother put together our first crappy computer. I was introduced to the internet by one of those lame chat rooms that adults used to cyber roleplay in. I was just enthralled with the idea of talking to people across the world but eventually became bored when I realized these adults were only in it for intimicay and not into the same kind of "pretend" I longed for.
Soon after learning to type well enough, I searched for a roleplay chat hoping to find like-minded individuals. My first RP chat was Charmander 31's Pokemon Chat in geocities. People there signed on as all kinds of things from video game/anime characters to animals and furries. My first character was "Legendary Ice Wolf" because I wasn't confident enough to RP a human and interact as one. I started off typing in caps to get noticed and forgetting to use "action marks" to indicate I was performing an action, so I wasn't quite accepted and did a lot of observing more than RPing.
As I grew with the community and learned how to properly RP in a chat room environment and how to develop a character, I also started to notice things about people. Everyone was acting out some sort of repressed fantasy through their characters that always usually lead to a sexual encounter. Powerless males took on strong roles, naturally, and even resorted to bullying. Females were generally attractive, graceful, and pseudo-modest. An RP chat room was the 20/20 way to see into the "nerd" world and how some of these people suffered from reality. Many of my friends lived in abusive/neglectful homes and were desperate for attention and acceptance in the community. When people became good at the whole Roleplay thing, they kind of developed an elitist attitude and cliques like jocks at a high school. I was discouraged at first after being shunned and treated very poorly by a community I felt I should naturally belong to. It was quite an experience to see the tables turned where the introverted "nerds" were the ones everyone wanted to be liked and accepted by.
I'm just wondering if anyone else grew up on that side of the internet. I know there's lots of "Forum" roleplays, but has anyone ever logged into a chatroom to do their posting? I'm 25 years old and still have an itch for RP now and then, but don't want to be that creepy old lady talking to kids. Being a bit more seasoned with life, sexuality, and psychology, I don't think it would be the same experience, anyways. I do miss it, though, and I miss the screwed up people I met along the way.
If no one else has any input for this thread, then I can chalk it up to being a loser and quietly return to my corner of PA.
When I was about 13, my fourteen year old brother put together our first crappy computer. I was introduced to the internet by one of those lame chat rooms that adults used to cyber roleplay in. I was just enthralled with the idea of talking to people across the world but eventually became bored when I realized these adults were only in it for intimicay and not into the same kind of "pretend" I longed for.
Soon after learning to type well enough, I searched for a roleplay chat hoping to find like-minded individuals. My first RP chat was Charmander 31's Pokemon Chat in geocities. People there signed on as all kinds of things from video game/anime characters to animals and furries. My first character was "Legendary Ice Wolf" because I wasn't confident enough to RP a human and interact as one. I started off typing in caps to get noticed and forgetting to use "action marks" to indicate I was performing an action, so I wasn't quite accepted and did a lot of observing more than RPing.
As I grew with the community and learned how to properly RP in a chat room environment and how to develop a character, I also started to notice things about people. Everyone was acting out some sort of repressed fantasy through their characters that always usually lead to a sexual encounter. Powerless males took on strong roles, naturally, and even resorted to bullying. Females were generally attractive, graceful, and pseudo-modest. An RP chat room was the 20/20 way to see into the "nerd" world and how some of these people suffered from reality. Many of my friends lived in abusive/neglectful homes and were desperate for attention and acceptance in the community. When people became good at the whole Roleplay thing, they kind of developed an elitist attitude and cliques like jocks at a high school. I was discouraged at first after being shunned and treated very poorly by a community I felt I should naturally belong to. It was quite an experience to see the tables turned where the introverted "nerds" were the ones everyone wanted to be liked and accepted by.
I'm just wondering if anyone else grew up on that side of the internet. I know there's lots of "Forum" roleplays, but has anyone ever logged into a chatroom to do their posting? I'm 25 years old and still have an itch for RP now and then, but don't want to be that creepy old lady talking to kids. Being a bit more seasoned with life, sexuality, and psychology, I don't think it would be the same experience, anyways. I do miss it, though, and I miss the screwed up people I met along the way.
"I must warn you, getting what you want and being happy are two quite different things."
Bogey on
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I did online star wars RP in chatrooms (WBS for several years, then we migrated from place to place thereafter) from the ages of 13-17
then auditioned successfully to play hermione in a harry potter room on the same hub
I did my homework on that shit
I was good
as for the psychology of it, I think in many ways my first/main character ended up being where I experimented with bits of personality that I wanted to embody myself -- I was a super shy, super nerdy kid with no friends, and she was a hot lady with lots of verve and smarts and sex appeal. there's a lot of her that I ended up trying (and perhaps failing) to fold into my real life.
It's a richer experience and you can do other shit in the game if your RPing partners aren't around
now I just emote in video games
I joined Moon Guard in WoW for that reason, but either I'm just too old for it now or people seem to be more neurotic. It quickly went from fantastic RP to "let's show off our RL pics and form cliques of attractive people that are hardly ever in character". And....Goldshire.
I've been out of a job for 2 months now and the boredom is waking old interests...but alas, too many things have changed.
I may or may not have trolled that chatroom once for laughs
IMC is still alive and kicking today. Well, mostly. I don't think it's super popular, and a lot of the rooms do tend to have pretty elitist groups. That said, there's a lot of genuinely amazing and awesome people there, much like there are here.
crazy! I was in the star wars cantina and cloud city chronicles on WBS for many years
Confession time. Well, the confession came via my therapist.
I've been doing online roleplaying since I was a sophomore in High School - and little of it is done with dice across a table.
I'm not proud of it.. and yet it is a huge part of who I am. My writing skills, a lot of how I interact with people, so on.. all of it is wrapped up in creating false personas online.. and to a degree, false personas in real life.
I was introduced to IRC first as part of an online gaming group, where we "raided" an online chatroom to stir up trouble and mess with the rules. Later, I was introduced to a real chatroom. And it got me through some rough parts of my childhood.
Emotional attachment.. that's the heart of it, isn't it? I feel lonely, detached, and worse.. and I used roleplay to escape. I tended to develop bonds - or try to. In the end, it left me sitting around, doing nothing, wishing for someone to talk to.
I won't get into everything I've roleplayed, but you can apply whatever stereotypes you wish. I won't even say I've stopped... Though I've seen the worst of the community. It's mostly moved on at this point, to flashier or more visual means. The amount of people who are there to tell a collective story are fewer than ever, and only rarely do you see people who "get it" like the old days. And, naturally, most people just want to hook up - to feel as if they aren't alone.
And yet, 15 years later, I can't pull myself away. I've made very close friends as a result of it.. and lost many, many more. I've probably missed out on many chances to socialize and be with someone, because of fear of them finding out about what I do in my private time. And yet, I feel that it's sharpened my writing skills far more than most would believe -- Writing chapters of a novel, one day at a time, completely impromptu and influenced by the whims of others? Yeah.. damn right that's a skill.
If anything, this probably explains my choice of Avatar. The idea of being able to change myself has been a prevalent theme in my psychological makeup for a long-ass time, and at the heart is this feeling that I always have to return to being who I am. I'm always questioning what that core is, though. Am I good at what I do? Am I a bigot, homophobic, or causing damage to my friends? Is it bad that I judge people on attractiveness? Do I have any ground to judge others? Myself?
All of this comes out through my roleplaying. It's my release valve, in many different ways. And yet these days, I'm finally starting to turn to my friends, to turn to you all.. But I just can't let go of my past. I know I'm good at it - everyone I roleplay with says I'm one of the best storytellers they know, and I am begged every time I see some of my friends to run games. But.. I still hate myself over it.
*sighs* Apologies to the OP. We haven't had a brain problems thread in a long-ass time, and this is kind of my biggest brain problem.
Okay, I needed to laugh after writing that. Thanks.
For the record? Call me sensitive, but this is why I never talk about this stuff. With anyone.
Yeah these folks from the WoD and Marvel rooms piled together and one of the WoD'ers basically just fucking wrote a chat site and boom.
roleplayed a troll mage and a male troll priest would take me on little vacations all over azeroth, take picnics to waterfalls and shit, it was awesome
ever get riled up at people throwing around slurs on Xbox like they were harmless? This is about the closest I've got - and I promise I'm not trying to make any kind of false equivalence.
there was this one guild that decided they owned some building in stormwind and got SUPER pissed when you would go into "restricted" areas without permission
which gave me a fun activity to do when waiting around for groups to form.
It was fuckin' weird because she had fetishes in layers and layers that kept on unraveling as I was just trying to listen me some indie rock
I finally just logged out for a few weeks
I think the star wars folks did the same thing, http://infinitybound.net/ is still around it looks like
This is actually what I was hoping to read. I didn't want to go into the whole history of my RP and the mental issues I suffered and projected onto others via Roleplay because it would be....really long, lol.
Writing is a great skill to have. I fell out of it, or felt pushed out almost, as I grew older and never got the chance to be an elite story-teller. I always admired them, though. That was a perfect story. Glad to read it. And I'm glad you're reaching out Rl, too, though. Having that creativity and writing skill but also being able to separate reality from fantasy can lead to amazing things, I think.
I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, I was just really lonely.
It was really fun! Unless the moderators were on. They all got to be combine, and then it just became a power fantasy
I find roleplaying moderators interesting. They're either amazing and supportive, or insufferable dicks on power trips. I found it best to stay away from them on principle. Funny I get along here so well.
this is the type of thread we would not have been able to have like ~5 year ago.
I remember joining some chat rooms back in the days of using IRC to download anime, and a few other times in my younger teens when I desperately needed to find anything to jerk off to.
The jerking off never worked all that well, it would take like 30 minutes to find a cybering partner from an every changing list of people and once you found one they'd inevitably type in broken english and take 10+ minutes between responses.
Easier to just jerk it to the free samples of XXX sites, if only I had a pass to Adult Key Gold I could get access to over 5000 other hardcore bi anal twink sites on this webring!
Wat. I don't even...
Lmao!
consequently I don't speak to her in person much anymore
praise be to our benevolent overlords.
ah crap, it's the holidays.
praise be to our benevolent holiday overlord, Robot Santa.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562
Also on a few Yahoo RP Groups.
They were pretty much all anime/videogame themed.
Closest I get is when my friends talk about weird stuff, I can either act as if they are really weird, or act like I'm completely unphased, with that kind of knowing look.
My closest friends know that, no really - none of them have a dirtier mind than me. And as of yet, nothing here has caught me off guard. Not even @Metalbourne.
But it's only a twisted window to a false reality. Duality sucks.
I recently did a bit of Star Wars RP through TOR in an enlisted grunt focused trooper guild. It was a lot of fun, but kinda fell apart because half the guild would get deployed.
Right now most of my Role playing interaction are stories from friends or getting screen shots of terrible things in the TOR fleet cantinas on Ebon Hawk.
Please.. please don't think less of me for this. I've been called a furry, a deviant, a pervert, a stalker, an asshole... All by people who don't talk to me, or don't even try to figure out why I do this, despite the fact that most, if not all nerds have done it at some point or another.
The slings of being called a brony are nothing compared to what nerd communities do to people like me.