Hospitals are boring

Hunter

So, a funny thing happened to me on the way to a raging infection in my leg which turned into an abscess. I've been stuck in the hospital since emergency surgery on Thursday, I finally have internet access and my iPhone.

So someone entertain me. Either that or let's discuss how awesome morphine by IV is.

ITT: Hunter is whacked out on milk of the poppy, his leg has a hole in it packed with gauze, and my nurse is kind of hot. Discuss hospitals, crazy emergencies, or the glory of opioids.

TheStig

You know that call light they give you? The staff love it when you hit the call button every 5 minutes. That should provide you with entertainment.

Dead Legend

Hunter I hope you feel better but how did your leg get infected?

Dead Legend

TheStig wrote: »

You know that call light they give you? The staff love it when you hit the call button every 5 minutes. That should provide you with entertainment.

You mean the call light that when you hit it, nobody shows up?

even after you've vomited blood all over the place?

yeah.

fuck nurses

TheStig

Also poop your bed then laugh as they clean it up.

Brolo

Hunter make it a point to moon as many people as possible in your medical gown

Hunter

Dead Legend wrote: »

Hunter I hope you feel better but how did your leg get infected?

No clue to the start, but it went I to beast mode over like two days. At least it wasn't MRSA. It was just deep and in my crotch area.

Hunter

Brolo wrote: »

Hunter make it a point to moon as many people as possible in your medical gown

My ass cheeks are on full display

TheStig

Dead Legend wrote: »

TheStig wrote: »

You know that call light they give you? The staff love it when you hit the call button every 5 minutes. That should provide you with entertainment.

You mean the call light that when you hit it, nobody shows up?

even after you've vomited blood all over the place?

yeah.

fuck nurses

Hey not my fault your state has shitty staffing ratio laws.

Lost Salient

Oh man Hunter you and me can be zombie bite bros! Did you ignore an infection for months like I did? Because boy is that sure a way to get doctors to go, "I've never seen anything like that before!"

Chincymcchilla

Hunter wrote: »

So, a funny thing happened to me on the way to a raging infection in my leg which turned into an abscess. I've been stuck in the hospital since emergency surgery on Thursday, I finally have internet access and my iPhone.

So someone entertain me. Either that or let's discuss how awesome morphine by IV is.

ITT: Hunter is whacked out on milk of the poppy, his leg has a hole in it packed with gauze, and my nurse is kind of hot. Discuss hospitals, crazy emergencies, or the glory of opioids.

For my most recent hospital emergency, listen to the latest Giant Bombcast.

If you can't, my dad lost about half of his blood out of his ass on Thanksgiving eve and we had to call 911

Hunter

I didn't notice it until last Saturday, so I only did the man ignores thing until it goes away for like 4 days.

Lost Salient

Oh, well then!

Good for you!

Months is... it's a bad call.

Hunter

I'll say this, an abscess that is draining is one of the grossest, most funky things I've experienced.

Dead Legend

TheStig wrote: »

Dead Legend wrote: »

TheStig wrote: »

You know that call light they give you? The staff love it when you hit the call button every 5 minutes. That should provide you with entertainment.

You mean the call light that when you hit it, nobody shows up?

even after you've vomited blood all over the place?

yeah.

fuck nurses

Hey not my fault your state has shitty staffing ratio laws.

not your fault the nurses sucked either

but hey, resentment lingers!

Tallahasseeriel

maybe I could type up my good old superman joke.

Oops wait that is the punchline fuck me. I'm tired.

Anyway I hope you are better soon hunter.

TheStig

Dead Legend wrote: »

TheStig wrote: »

Dead Legend wrote: »

TheStig wrote: »

You know that call light they give you? The staff love it when you hit the call button every 5 minutes. That should provide you with entertainment.

You mean the call light that when you hit it, nobody shows up?

even after you've vomited blood all over the place?

yeah.

fuck nurses

Hey not my fault your state has shitty staffing ratio laws.

not your fault the nurses sucked either

but hey, resentment lingers!

I'll admit, there are some really shitty nurses, and most of them get funneled to the med/surg unit where the majority of the population goes (no one wants to work med/surg, it's the worst).

Dead Legend

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

Hunter

I have to say all my nurses so far have been good. One lady was just bad at starting an IV, but at least she called in a relief pitcher after going 0 for 2 on stabbing me.

Tallahasseeriel

I'm getting a liver ultrasound soon and I really hope it's not fucked.

Hunter

Dead Legend wrote: »

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

I have that video

Dead Legend

Hunter wrote: »

Dead Legend wrote: »

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

I have that video

I just have the fond memories of dripping blood.

Seriously, I was walking within two hours of them taking bone off my hip for my mouth, why did they think breaking my jaw would mean I couldn't fucking walk?

Tallahasseeriel

IVs suck mostly because they feel like they restrict your arm so much I think.

Never had a catheter thank god.

TheStig

Dead Legend wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

Dead Legend wrote: »

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

I have that video

I just have the fond memories of dripping blood.

Seriously, I was walking within two hours of them taking bone off my hip for my mouth, why did they think breaking my jaw would mean I couldn't fucking walk?

They kept your catheter in because they thought you couldn't walk? They're not supposed to do that.

Tam

I can't stand hospitals
the smell
the harsh light
the stressed out, dead eyed staff

Chincymcchilla

Dead Legend wrote: »

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

"You will feel a slight pressure" Is code for

"This is going to be the most intense pain you have ever experienced"

David_T

Ooh, hospital thread.

I had a stomach thing that the doctors thought might be a hernia but they couldn't find anything when they scanned me, so the doc who looked at the scans said it might be a colonic infection, scheduled a colonoscopy and sent me home.

Turns out, it was a minor rectus sheath hematoma. Got a small bruise and the pain up and disappeared over night. Went back to the hospital, showed them the bruise, got the new diagnosis, everything was fine. On the way out I went "So, uh, that colonoscopy...?"

"Oh, we're still doing that. Better safe than sorry."

So next month I'm getting a camera up the butt for absolutely no reason. Behold the glory of socialized medicine.

TheStig

So they're covering their own ass by putting a camera up yours.

Tallahasseeriel

I was in the hospital for butt problems recently.

Doc's finger was cold.

Psykoma

Dead Legend wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

Dead Legend wrote: »

Fucking catheters, man.

"You'll feel a slight pinch"

"Nope, feels like you jammed a cactus up my cock."

I have that video

I just have the fond memories of dripping blood.

Seriously, I was walking within two hours of them taking bone off my hip for my mouth, why did they think breaking my jaw would mean I couldn't fucking walk?

I'm going on for surgery on the 13th, they don't expect me to be able to be up and walking for 10-12 hours and I still won't be getting a catheter

I was unconscious the last time they put in a catheter, but when they took it out it felt like rope burn in my crotch

turtleant

Do they put you to sleep for a colonoscopy? Or is that a sigmoidoscopy that they put you to sleep for?

BahamutZERO

I do not think they put you under for a colonoscopy, let me go look on the internet

CorporateRed

I work in a hospital, and due to the monstrous pain from my herniated disc and torn whatever I'm on opioids. We're like twinsies!

David_T

My uncle had a colonoscopy, they put up monitors for him to watch the camera feed.

Which brings up a conundrum. If you have a choice, how early do you start watching the feed? Before entry or after?

CorporateRed

Did he get to keep a copy of the video?

Psykoma

David_T wrote: »

My uncle had a colonoscopy, they put up monitors for him to watch the camera feed.

Which brings up a conundrum. If you have a choice, how early do you start watching the feed? Before entry or after?

after

BahamutZERO

yeah seems like they don't put you to sleep, they do usually sedate you though and administer painkillers if you need them.

PiptheFair

oh boohoo an abscess in your poor little leggy poo

try 3 over the course of 2 months on your butts

PiptheFair

oh btw even after the scope they still have no clue what I have

but I have something

so

yeah!

BahamutZERO

Maybe it's lupus.

TheStig

PiptheFair wrote: »

oh btw even after the scope they still have no clue what I have

but I have something

so

yeah!

Have they ruled out butt aids? It sounds like butt aids.