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Tales of Technology

taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
edited April 2007 in Social Entropy++
This is the thread where us Tech support/desktop support fucks bitch and moan about the bitchers and moaners

My current job is great. I work at the High School I graduated from. This might sound shitty, but I am now the guy that my former teachers call up when their internet stops working. They call me up a lot.
However, there are some severe Technochondriacs in the schools I work at (I also have the Junior High). I get 4 or 5 work orders a week from one teacher, 75-80% of which go right into the delete pile.

However, I can't complain too much. The people here are very computer literate, to the point where I have to lock things down to avoid having the teachers mess with the computers.

My last job was doing tech support for a bank in new england, which will not be named. There are a ton of stories from there, because those people were absolutely insane.

grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
taoistlumberjak on
«13

Posts

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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 2007
    Technology's gay

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Technology's gay

    You're gay

    taoistlumberjak on
    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 2007
    How many megs of ram do you have in your computer?

    TECHNOLOGY IS GAAAAAAAAY

    So I was looking at this Star Trek website the other day and I...

    TECHNOLOGY IS GAAAAAAAAY

    Let me fax you my email address...

    TECHNOLOGY IS GAAAAAAAAY

    Why don't you check out my home page at www dot...

    TECHNOLOGY IS GAAAAAAAAY

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    NucshNucsh Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Sometimes I have to do tech stuff for my family

    Usually it's a bad idea


    My mom's computer is so fucked up the ass it's not even funny anymore. Random freezes, spyware, etc etc. I've been telling her that we need to backup her stuff and do a complete wipe of the machine, but she never agrees to it because "she can still play most of her games online"

    It's also the computer that my sister uses for her work, and she's lost almost 4-5 projects within the course of last year to the damn thing freezing on her.

    Nucsh on
    [SIGPIC]GIANT ENEMY BEAR[/SIGPIC]
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    taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    it is like the bleatings of a thousand Amish

    taoistlumberjak on
    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    We don't need this thread every time somebody deals with a fool at work

    Weaver on
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    ElectricBoogalooElectricBoogaloo Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    <3

    I will never do tech support again.

    Technology is in fact, quite gay.

    "IS YOUR COMPUTER PLUGGED INTO THE WALL M'AM?"

    ElectricBoogaloo on
    camo_sig2.png
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I love when my family calls me telling me their iPod doesn't work so I start talking them through iTunes and stuff and it turns out they don't have an iPod.

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    superslothsupersloth Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I feel sorry for the people who work at our help desk. I don't really think I would wish that job on anyone.

    supersloth on
    elsupersloth.jpg
    muh.
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    redimpulseredimpulse Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I provide support for a bunch of engineers, programmers and VIPs. Most of the shit I deal with on a daily basis isn't too bad. Come to think of it, the only reason I have any dislike for my job is because the bosses and helpdesk kids take the most clear and concise descriptions of the issues, then tear any pertinent information out and insert some gibberish that slightly resembles English to the point that I have to sit and decipher their 'code' for at least 30 minutes before I realize what the hell is going on.

    redimpulse on
    rbsig.jpg
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    MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I love technology

    Not as much as you, you see

    But I still love technology

    Always and forever

    Meissnerd on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    My family is also not very-well versed in computers. Shall we start a club? I especially love how my parents get downright irate when they see a computer screen running anything but 800x600 resolution. "THIS IS SO SMALL, HOW AM I EXPECTED TO READ THIS!?"

    TankHammer on
    atlantaghostbusters.com
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    STOP RUNNING YOUR GAMES. YOUR GAMES ARE DESTROYING THE COMPUTATER.

    as she installs the 50th random internet casino program

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    ScreamlineScreamline Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    A year or two ago, my wife's cousin's family had a superbowl bash. Guess who missed the first half because their kids gummied up the family HP with spyware while looking at porn?

    Screamline on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I like how it must have been the MechCommander disc that killed the CD-ROM, as it had obviously been working for the previous 7 years.

    Ruckus on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited April 2007
    STOP CLICKING SO MUCH WHEN YOU CLICK THAT FAST THE COMPUTER GETS CONFUSED YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT A MINUTE TO TAKE CARE OF ONE CLICK BEFORE YOU DO ANOTHER OR YOU CAN GET THE COMPUTER CONFUSED; THAT IS WHAT IS KNOWN AS HAVING A VIRUS

    Knob on
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    Captain UglyheadCaptain Uglyhead Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    hey dudes i put some more ram in my computer the other day

    it almost made me feel like i actually knew two shits about computers and how they work

    (but i dont really)

    Captain Uglyhead on
    Spiderweb Software makes fun, reasonably priced games for PCs and Macs. Big demos, too!
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    Captain UglyheadCaptain Uglyhead Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    oh oh once upon a time

    we had spyware and it was taking our money through tons of little charges

    and my dad thought that it was actually that the internet was charging money whenever you clicked on something or clicked on a picture to see it fullsized

    Captain Uglyhead on
    Spiderweb Software makes fun, reasonably priced games for PCs and Macs. Big demos, too!
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    UPGRADE UR PCI W/PEANUT BUTTER

    Ruckus on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Wren wrote: »
    STOP RUNNING YOUR GAMES. YOUR GAMES ARE DESTROYING THE COMPUTATER.

    as she installs the 50th random internet casino program

    Oh GOD! I dealt with this for so long.
    Finally when I bought my computer I could say "Oh well I've had this for a year and it's running great, somehow the computer you bought 2 months ago is running like it's been put though a cement-mixer. I guess all those years it wasn't my games breaking the computer afterall huh?"

    Then there are these gems:

    -"We have AOL, it protects us from viruses so I don't need to run a virus scan."
    -"You should have bought a Dell, then you wouldn't have this problem with UPS shipping your computer, causing a loose connection and frying your motherboard. This is because you chose a no-name company and I get all my information from Consumer Reports."

    TankHammer on
    atlantaghostbusters.com
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    cherv1cherv1 Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Kantankeris wrote: »
    My family is also not very-well versed in computers. Shall we start a club? I especially love how my parents get downright irate when they see a computer screen running anything but 800x600 resolution. "THIS IS SO SMALL, HOW AM I EXPECTED TO READ THIS!?"

    My dad did the exact same thing. I was trying to have a shower and my mother came banging on the door telling me he was angry and I was like ''just right click the desptop, properties, settings, and change the res'' ''OH NO THAT IS TOO COMPLICATED'' so I eventually go down there and he's done some dumb ass thing to change the font and icon size really big. But now I managed to get them on to 1024x768.

    cherv1 on
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I do support for a gaming company. So I do tech support for people like you fucks.




    I go home each night and cry and cut myself.

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    oh shit that reminds me, I need to compare the price of a dell awesome-sauce computer to what the local computer cheap-as-fuck store can do.

    I need to convince my mother to not get a mother fucking dell.

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    I do support for a gaming company. So I do tech support for people like you fucks.




    I go home each night and cry and cut myself.

    Is Starforce your sick revenge?

    Ruckus on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    I do support for a gaming company. So I do tech support for people like you fucks.




    I go home each night and cry and cut myself.

    I call tech support at least once a month to complain about bunny hoppers and wallhacks just to make people like you cry and cut yourself.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Stale wrote: »
    I do support for a gaming company. So I do tech support for people like you fucks.




    I go home each night and cry and cut myself.

    I call tech support at least once a month to complain about bunny hoppers and wallhacks just to make people like you cry and cut yourself.


    OMG PING BOOST YUR SEVERERS!!! PING BOOOOOOST!!!!!

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Technology brutally raped myself, and my family.

    I demand justice.

    Bergy on
    ChicagoBulls01.jpg
    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    Sir Red of the MantiSir Red of the Manti Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    My landlord complained about her computer locking up during a virus scan, so I figured I'd take a look at it. A few checks later, I came (heh) to the conclusion that it's not virus or spyware related, so I thought "what the hell, lets check the RAM", so I boot the comp up with Memtest86+ and let it "do it's thang". Sure enough, it froze both times I attempted it. So I figure it's either the mofo mobo or RAM so finicky that it somehow crashes Memtest86+, which I don't think is possible but who knows.
    So is there some sort of tool (heh) I could go deeper with (heh) to find out for sure?

    Sir Red of the Manti on
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Sir Red of the Manti wrote: »
    My landlord complained about her computer locking up during a virus scan, so I figured I'd take a look at it. A few checks later, I came (heh) to the conclusion that it's not virus or spyware related, so I thought "what the hell, lets check the RAM", so I boot the comp up with Memtest86+ and let it "do it's thang". Sure enough, it froze both times I attempted it. So I figure it's either the mofo mobo or RAM so finicky that it somehow crashes Memtest86+, which I don't think is possible but who knows.
    So is there some sort of tool (heh) I could go deeper with (heh) to find out for sure?

    that was such a boring story. get out.

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    worst writing style ever

    never point out your own unfunny false innuendo

    also if the ram failed memtest buy new ram

    Weaver on
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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Sir Red of the Manti wrote: »
    NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

    nudge.jpg

    SAY NO MORE

    SAY

    NO

    MORE

    :winky:

    Butler on
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    ElectricBoogalooElectricBoogaloo Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Sir Red of the Manti wrote: »
    So is there some sort of tool (heh) I could go deeper with (heh) to find out for sure?

    obligatory your wang.

    ElectricBoogaloo on
    camo_sig2.png
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    cherv1cherv1 Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I tech support my aunt over the phone sometimes. I just got back from staying with her by the way, I go down their for a few days once a month just to fix the computer. A while back she wanted to go on MSN. I wasn't sure quite what level of tech-talk to use, so it went from, "Double click the Windows Messenger icon in the system tray" to "Click twice on the little green man in the blue bar at the bottom right corner of the screen". Also I muted a few times to scream.

    cherv1 on
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    Milquetoast ThugMilquetoast Thug Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    My father refuses to stop using 56k. This is because he is old and kraaaazy.

    Thank God my college has DSL.

    Milquetoast Thug on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I love being the guy in IT sales who knows his shit; contrawise, it's also very frustrating when you try and tell people that "while I may know my shit, I don't know everything, like when you tell me that your sysadmin just quit and you need someone to help you re-image a network over the phone."

    FUCK YOU, YOU ARROGANT ASS; I GET PAID WHEN YOU BUY SHIT, NOT WHEN I DO FREE TECH-SUPPORT.

    Darth Waiter on
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    WejaWeja Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    "Whyyyy won't my computer turn on?"

    /pops side panel


    image00006nk4.jpg

    Cause you're a fucking moron

    Weja on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I thought you quit Darth?

    Weaver on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Weja wrote: »
    "Whyyyy won't my computer turn on?"

    /pops side panel


    image00006nk4.jpg

    'Cause you're a fucking moron.

    Ruckus on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    is that a backwards PCI wireless card?

    Weaver on
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I have a few projects left to finish and then it's off to school; I should be done by the end of the week, maybe next week at the latest. Since I'm not going to a competitor and I told my director like a man, he's giving me a grace period to finish my work and earn a little comission. He even told me that I'll always be welcome if things get hairy at school.

    That man is fuckawesome.

    edit: HOLY SHIT! THAT PICTURE IS HYSTERICAL ONCE YOU LOOK AT IT!

    Darth Waiter on
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