the way I see it is that I'll never reach the standards of women. So rather then going for a life time of frustration and loneliness. I want to apply for chemical castration. Has anyone here had it done and what side effects did you have? And no this a option that could save my life. Why are so many people against it?
It means it would not have the constant loneliness on me and I would be happier for it. Apparently others have done it and it worked for them. It's literally cutting the problem at it's source and could improve my life quality by a decent amount.
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So yeah, try therapy first. It's a lot less permanent, less chance of regret later on, and frankly has a better chance at making you feel better. If you're in therapy now but it's not working for you, find a better therapist.
@PreciousBodilyFluids is right. If you take medication to remove your sexual desire, you're treating one symptom of a problem without coming close to the problem itself. You seem to think really poorly of yourself and this is one of the most unattractive qualities there is, short of like having a swastika carved into your forehead. And be careful with the "standards of women" kind of thing. "Women" are not some monolithic hive-minded bloc that all has the same likes and dislikes, and if you're thinking about half of humanity in that context it's easy to slip into straight-up misogyny, which is another hella unattractive trait.
Chemical castration is a quick fix that maybe will make you feel better but probably won't, and even if it does it won't take away loneliness or low self-esteem. Your first order of business should be to put some real hard work into yourself. Make yourself someone you can be happy with. Assuming you don't do these things already, start working out, learn to dress well, and see a therapist. Don't go for the quick fix. It may be attractive because it's less work, but nothing worthwhile was ever easy.
hitting hot metal with hammers
How do you "know" this?
And, are you in therapy? If no, get it. If yes, get a better therapist. And work on yourself.
Consider this: Is chemically dissolving your balls really the best, first option you have here? What have you tried before? Why would you ever choose to do this before getting (better) therapy first? Make a huge list of everything you could possibly do to turn yourself into a person you like better. Who enjoys his life more. A person with more self esteem. You could put castration on the very bottom of this long list, but it doesn't really belong on the list to begin with.
I can pretty much guarantee that while it might completely kill your sexual urges, castration will do nothing to help the underlying issues you have here and will not make you happier.
In the meantime, "knowing" that you have no chance with women is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't think you're worth dating, then why should anyone you want to date?
Instead of doing something drastic, maybe try working on yourself until you're the kind of person that someone might want to go out with? And don't feed us any bullshit about how that's compromising yourself. Women like guys who are active, passionate, and doing something with their lives, because that's what people like. People want to date someone with desires that they pursue. But here we are with this topic, and you'd seemingly rather get rid of desires than pursue them!
What's stopping you from becoming the kind of person that women want to date?
But that said, it's almost definitely not going to cure your loneliness. If having friends were all it took you wouldn't be having these feelings and getting rid of your sexual urges isn't going to do away with a desire to be intimate. It'll just do away with your desire to have sex. The two aren't the same.
I'll repeat what's been said: See a therapist. They're going to be the most capable of helping you deal with these feelings. Ultimately they might even agree that this could be the best option for you. But only after taking the time to explore why you're actually feeling the way you do and considering other options. Professional help is going to be the best option in actually guaranteeing you a solution to your problems.
You're not removing any influence. You're removing a single aspect of the reason for your loneliness, while doing nothing about the causes. You're pretty much guaranteed to still be lonely once you've removed your desire for sex, because sex is only a single component of a relationship.
Lay it out for me. What is it about you that makes it so you have no chance with women (and seriously, again, this is a very bad way to think of an entire gender)?
hitting hot metal with hammers
Working on yourself includes the therapy many have mentioned, but can be a great deal of activities, depending on what you feel would improve yourself as a person. Exercise, travelling, intellectual pursuits, hobbies or sports, whatever works for you. Do what it takes to like yourself for who you are.
I see no reason why you wouldn't go for these constructive options rather than the destructive ones you've mentioned. Even IF this does not lead to women liking you back (and I assure you that a healthy self esteem will totally help), the worst that can happen is that you become a healthier and happier person regardless.