"Virtual" flashing

db07030

Background: A dear friend had a very upsetting experience a few weeks ago. We were out at a local bar, and a man approached us and began to converse. He was a bit odd, so we were not overly friendly, but he persisted. He pulled out his phone and started showing it to my friend. I could tell that she was uncomfortable and was shaking her head at him, yet he would then show me the phone and it would be a picture of NYC, or his dog, or something innocuous. This happened back and forth a few times. We finally were "chilly" enough that he left. As soon as he walked out, my friend started crying - he had been showing her pictures of his privates, and she felt very violated! (I'd have laughed at him, which is probably why he targeted her - she is a much sweeter soul than I!)
Question: Is there anything illegal in his actions? Had he shown his "stuff" physically rather than virtually, we could have involved the police on indecent exposure. Is this a case where the law has not yet caught up to technology? His actions were no less offensive to her.

DarkPrimus

I wouldn't know the exact legal description of the crime (public obscenity? sexual harassment?), but it surely is a crime.

bsjezz

i'd ask if she wants you to go into the police station with her to file a report, all the same. it's possible you'll get nods and smiles and it'll be filed away and forgotten about, but it's also possible that this is a known offender whom they are looking for further evidence against.

that said, if she's starting to get over it and it'd just re-agitate things, she may prefer to just move on. which is fine.

The Ender

That's fucked.

Yes, that's a crime (at least in most western countries, anyway). The police may not do anything, but it's probably worthwhile to go down to the local station and tell them what happened. If they're a good department, they'll do some sort of follow-up (and, as bsjezz says, they might already be familiar with the guy).

DisruptedCapitalist

I've never been very good in these situations sadly, I tend just to start laughing nervously and try not to make eye contact (as the guy or friend of the person). But I did observe a friend of mine who handled it much better than I did a few years ago. We were out at a bar and some creepy guy kept trying to talk with one of the women in our group. Though he never actually did anything 'wrong', my friend told him in a loud voice to go away. When the creep persisted, he stood in front of the guy and very gently started walking away (so that way the guy couldn't say he was assaulted or anything.)

I spent the whole time laughing nervously, but really my friend was hero of the night. Since then I've sworn to take action sooner in these situations, but it hasn't really come up lately. I don't know if my courage would be any better these days.

So when you're in a public place and someone is giving you the creeps, being "cold" to them is often insufficient. Act first and loudly tell them to go away. If they don't then take action, either by asking the bartender, bouncer, or even a policeman to do something about it. If none of those are available, put yourself between the creep and anyone they may be targeting. Though I understand it's easier said than done.

SmokeStacks

Whether or not she decides to notify the police, you should notify the bar. Back when I was bouncing we had a few people that we had gotten complaints about for lewd conduct that we had to bar (forgive the pun) from the place.

If anything the security for the bar ought to know, that way they can keep an eye out if they see a similar situation happening, in case the person is showing his junk to chicks with his phone on a regular basis.