Long time reader, first time poster.

Dreadmime

Hi.

Before we begin, no i'm not a spambot. Yes, there's a real geek here. I started reading Penny Arcade when they were linked in from another website. I want to say it was Gamespy or one of those such websites.

I don't know that i'm really asking for help. I mean, sure, I wouldn't deny it. But would I ever expect people to? Hardly. So don't worry about hurting my feelings if you read this and say "Well, I call bull[censored]." and move on.

I'm essentially now, coming to accept that I've reached my "emotional limitation".

I am 30 years old. Somewhat happily married. I have two children with Autism (2 and 5. boy and girl. each one has a birthday coming up soon. My son on April 23rd, he'll be 6, and my daughter on June 16th, she'll be 3.) These two kids are the love of my life, even though they are Autistic.

We were living just outside of New Orleans, LA in August of 2005. We lost almost half our stuff in Katrina. We ended up losing the vehicle we had, because we couldn't afford to make the payments. We've been without a vehicle since then. We made the unfortunate "galactic mis-step" to move just outside of Lafayette, La, and walked right into the eventual path of Hurricane Rita.

We've been through all the systems. We're on all the lists. We're getting SSI for my children. They get "some" therapy. But there's no such thing as emotional therapy for them. More to the point, there's no emotional therapy for us. I'm cracking under the pressure. I haven't been more than 1 block away from my house in almost 6 months. It's really only been the last fews days i've even actually gone farther the driveway. I feel like i'm locked in prison.

We're currently in the process of trying to save up for a car, so we can have the freedom to at least get out of the house once in a while. Right now we're keeping the local cab company in business almost singlehandedly. We go many nights without dinner, simply because we don't have the money, or the effort to get to the store to buy more food.

If anyone wants to help financially, I certainly won't deny your help, but I must stress that while I may try to make every attempt to repay it at some point in the distant future, I can't state i'm going to pay it back. I'm not looking to "steal" your money. But i'm also not expecting anyone to be able to help either. So I don't suppose it's really an issue. Life is hard enough for everyone these days without "Scum Sucking Leeches Like Me" around.

But if you want to offer words of encouragement, feel free to post them here. I can use the mental support at the moment.

EggyToast

Why can't you go more than a block? Couldn't you regularly go to a park or moderately nice outdoor area to walk around and attempt to relax? Do you use the taxi to go to work, or to "get out and do something?" Taxis are hella expensive, but I don't know if there are bus alternatives in your area or not. Usually taxis mean there's some busses, though.

It's tough when you lose everything and you feel like there's no support out there. What you should realize, though, and hopefully this doesn't come across as obvious, is that you're still here, your family is still here, and you're together, despite all the crap you've been through. perhaps changing how you spend your time, if you have much of it left over, is what you need to look to do? I know I feel crazy cooped up just from sitting in front of the computer for a few hours on the weekend, and I need to at least get up and walk around. if I spend an entire day inside I feel kind of "boxed" by the evening time, and usually at least make a trip to the grocery store.

Do you have a job? Does your wife? What do you do in your free time?

Dreadmime

My kids are Autistic. going more than a block means dragging them along, which becomes a complicated endeavour. Autism isn't something where you can get them dressed in 30 seconds pop open a stroller and be off with it. It usually takes about 30 minutes to "set up" for going anywhere. And obviously, you've never been to New Iberia, heh. The nearest park is about 2 miles away. No buses, for some unexplained reason. The city's certainly large enough for them. There's only one Taxi Company in town (so you can end up waiting up to 2 hours for a taxi. It's best to call early.) called "Dependable Taxi" (quite ironic, actually.) and my wife uses it to go to/from work. (usually from, since she can't afford to wait for it to show up. So she walks a mile to work every morning.) And I dunno. There's not much free time, really, as most of it's constantly interrupted with diaper changes, or feedings, or calming down over-stimulation, or trying to stimulate under-stimulation.

I know that sounds like "He's got an excuse for everything!" ... sadly, it's the truth.

tech_hunter

I have been in a similar boat no vehicle and not much to no money. As for food and groceries. I would recomend calling up your local salvation army, catholic services, good will, and local churches. The salvation army also helps with bills. However since another hurricane has been through the area their ability to help may be strained. I dont know but the only way to know is go and find out or at least call. Also there is always donating plasma I did that for over a year.

ripefruit

Get on craigslist, buy a $300 198X Toyota Celica. They are dependable, cheap, and easy to work on. Throw some black spray paint on it and a pirate symbol and you got yourself a ride.

Maybe consider packing up, and moving to somewhere more low-income friendly.

EggyToast

There's different levels of Autism and some people are worse than others. I've known some autistic kids who love being outside and others who can't change themselves, and it sounds like your kids are towards the worse end. Which really helps to explain why you're feeling so strained. Is there anything you can do activity-wise with your kids? Unfortunately, and I hope this doesn't come across as a horrible thing to say, but it sounds like they're one of the major causes of your depression.

Sarcastro

Its hard for parents with atypical children to go out of doors without feeling self-concious. I can only imagine the shame and guilt that would haunt your outings; to an outsider there are going to be times when the behaivior on both sides, kids and parents, is going to seem absolutley outrageous.

I think in time you'll get desensitized to the negative attention - ignorance becomes easier to deal with over time -, but you would have to do it enough to get desensitized. Do you have some sort of action plan to get yourself the hell out of your house? Kids or no, even just twenty minutes three times a week would have a profound effect on your state of mind. Do you guys trade off for breaks now and then to let the other escape for a while?

Dreadmime

I wish we could trade off for breaks. But at this point, the marriage is tenuous. We love each other, don't get me wrong. But most of our fights come into that whole "I need a break from the kids." "Well, today's my only day off from work, and i need break from work." "Well, I work 24/7 every day, when do I get a day off?" ... etc.

I think having a Car again will help dramatically, as it should result in her being a lot less tired from work, which make her more willing to help me watch the kids. but at this point, we're forecasting we should be able to hopefully afford a cheapish car by October/November... and that's a long time to look at. *laugh*

Unfortunately the people out here are out of their flippin' minds. The cheapest car i've found that we could reasonably get to, was $3995. It was a 1981 Toyota. It had almost 300K miles on the engine, and No AC, but "Runs good." ... $4000.

It's a crazy world we live in today. When I got my first car as a teenager, I paid $400 for it. It only had 80K miles on it, and some engine problems that were easy enough to fix. I'll check craigslist though. I didn't know they had cars on there. I thought it was all rental properties/houses for sale and junk.