Resumes scare the crap out of me. The expectations differ from place to place. Place A will throw your resume out because it didnt have a cover letter, place B thinks you are the old and out of date if you include one. In addition, every year in high school/college, 'purpose'/'objective' on the top of the resume differed based on the teacher we got. "purpose is ' to get the fucking job', dont put it on your resume' and next year: 'absolutely put a purpose on your resume you uncultured plebians!'.
Companies need to have a SOP ready for applicants. Then they can use that to weed people out who shotgun resumes to them, and get exactly what they are looking for.
Though funny enough, my last two hirings haven't really needed a resume at all. The resume was just a formality to the fact that I was being hired by one of my contacts from around town. Networking for the win.
My last promotion required my resume to go through major revisions and was custom tailored to the job. You see, HR policy is that all promotions have to go through in the summer, so in order to cheese this and promote me off cycle, I had to be treated like I was applying for the job.
My old boss and current boss told me to apply for this job. The job was mine if I wanted it. I still had to interview with HR. HR still needed to bring in a handful of external candidates who suited up and came down to interview for a job that no one had any intention of hiring them for.
I need to finish editing and submit something for publishing but I have lost steam now. So probably won't happen.
0
Options
syndalisGetting ClassyOn the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Productsregular
Are you aiming for management, or a corporate gig?
At ten years of accomplishments you can do a CV, which is allowed to be more detailed.
But before that moment, every resume I ever had was under a page because FUCK multi-page resumes.
If you are giving a resume and not a CV, the job you are aiming for is not important enough to give them multiple sheets of paper.
More people need to craft a proto-resume.
Make one big document with a Short / long version of every job, your education, etc... the thing should end up being 3 pages at least.
Then copypasta the appropriate length segments for the job you are aiming for, crafting that perfect one page resume from the lego set you made for yourself earlier.
SW-4158-3990-6116
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Resumes scare the crap out of me. The expectations differ from place to place. Place A will throw your resume out because it didnt have a cover letter, place B thinks you are the old and out of date if you include one. In addition, every year in high school/college, 'purpose'/'objective' on the top of the resume differed based on the teacher we got. "purpose is ' to get the fucking job', dont put it on your resume' and next year: 'absolutely put a purpose on your resume you uncultured plebians!'.
Companies need to have a SOP ready for applicants. Then they can use that to weed people out who shotgun resumes to them, and get exactly what they are looking for.
you should never be sending out a resume without a cover letter
ever
and the reason why objective doesn't need to be there is because it should be evident from your cover letter
get a job, support the team, etc are all pleb goals
employers want to see (even if it's a lie) that you can put together a good line about why you care about what you do and how this job allows to accomplish that goal
In my field, medical software starts at about $60,000
It's just insane really when you think about it. The software basically just talks to serial interfaces (the analyzers that actually do the work) and makes cool little graphs and prints reports. $60,000 for that. And that's just the "basic software with 1 interface for 1 physician" once you add more physicians and more pieces of equipment it goes higher.
I think ti's something like $120,000 for the full suite of software we have in our lab now. Of course it was a slow upgrade over time but all in all if we were to build a lab today and license it, that's what it'd be.
I should probably start working for these companies instead.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
0
Options
Deebaseron my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered Userregular
Though funny enough, my last two hirings haven't really needed a resume at all. The resume was just a formality to the fact that I was being hired by one of my contacts from around town. Networking for the win.
My last promotion required my resume to go through major revisions and was custom tailored to the job. You see, HR policy is that all promotions have to go through in the summer, so in order to cheese this and promote me off cycle, I had to be treated like I was applying for the job.
My old boss and current boss told me to apply for this job. The job was mine if I wanted it. I still had to interview with HR. HR still needed to bring in a handful of external candidates who suited up and came down to interview for a job that no one had any intention of hiring them for.
EVERYTHING ABOUT HIRING IS TERRIBLE
Yeah, that was pretty common in the place I interned at as well, a big ole gov't contractor.
It was awful, I'd see these guys come in, interview for a position that I and everyone else knew they would never get.
In my field, medical software starts at about $60,000
It's just insane really when you think about it. The software basically just talks to serial interfaces (the analyzers that actually do the work) and makes cool little graphs and prints reports. $60,000 for that. And that's just the "basic software with 1 interface for 1 physician" once you add more physicians and more pieces of equipment it goes higher.
I think ti's something like $120,000 for the full suite of software we have in our lab now. Of course it was a slow upgrade over time but all in all if we were to build a lab today and license it, that's what it'd be.
I should probably start working for these companies instead.
they have next to no customers compared to say, word
My experience, as a programmer, is that a resume basically exists to pass a few software checks and get you a phone interview. Once you get the phone interview, they'll talk more about your specific qualifications and experience.
cptruggedI think it has something to do with free will.Registered Userregular
edited March 2014
I also love the fact that resume's have become such bullshit that even if you honest to god put your real skillsets on there. Everyone just assumes its some doctored up crap. Second job I got, my boss was gonna send me for Citrix training so I could support one of our systems. I told him I'd supported a Citrix based system for 2 years before. It said so right on my resume. He just laughed.
Though funny enough, my last two hirings haven't really needed a resume at all. The resume was just a formality to the fact that I was being hired by one of my contacts from around town. Networking for the win.
My last promotion required my resume to go through major revisions and was custom tailored to the job. You see, HR policy is that all promotions have to go through in the summer, so in order to cheese this and promote me off cycle, I had to be treated like I was applying for the job.
My old boss and current boss told me to apply for this job. The job was mine if I wanted it. I still had to interview with HR. HR still needed to bring in a handful of external candidates who suited up and came down to interview for a job that no one had any intention of hiring them for.
EVERYTHING ABOUT HIRING IS TERRIBLE
Pretty much any department of a business that doesn't directly generate income gets fucking shafted.
HR/Recruiting? You can spend the money to hire people who know what they're doing and will find and hire quality people, and then keep them.
Or you can pay bottom dollar for a couple of chucklefucks who toss the resumes in the air.
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
0
Options
syndalisGetting ClassyOn the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Productsregular
In my field, medical software starts at about $60,000
It's just insane really when you think about it. The software basically just talks to serial interfaces (the analyzers that actually do the work) and makes cool little graphs and prints reports. $60,000 for that. And that's just the "basic software with 1 interface for 1 physician" once you add more physicians and more pieces of equipment it goes higher.
I think ti's something like $120,000 for the full suite of software we have in our lab now. Of course it was a slow upgrade over time but all in all if we were to build a lab today and license it, that's what it'd be.
I should probably start working for these companies instead.
its a bigger pain in the ass than you think.
You have these programs that NEED to be accurate, meet regulatory guidelines, communicate over old-assed teletype aged bullshit (ACK/NACK), and sells to a small, non-consumer market.
These things are expensive for a reason.
SW-4158-3990-6116
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
0
Options
BethrynUnhappiness is MandatoryRegistered Userregular
In my field, medical software starts at about $60,000
It's just insane really when you think about it. The software basically just talks to serial interfaces (the analyzers that actually do the work) and makes cool little graphs and prints reports. $60,000 for that. And that's just the "basic software with 1 interface for 1 physician" once you add more physicians and more pieces of equipment it goes higher.
I think ti's something like $120,000 for the full suite of software we have in our lab now. Of course it was a slow upgrade over time but all in all if we were to build a lab today and license it, that's what it'd be.
I should probably start working for these companies instead.
Presumably this is all safety-critical stuff though?
I love the resume that got me the temp job I am on and my actual job starting in two weeks was a 2 page resume.
Because one of the places is non-profit and thus wanted a shit ton of info and the other place is government/government contracting which requires your fucking life history to apply.
Actually my two page resume netted me more interviews and responses for jobs in two months than the 1 page.
General rule, know your sector. Some you do one page short resumes and expand on them in your one page cover letter. Others if it isn't a list of everything you have done as an adult don't apply.
0
Options
Nova_CI have the needThe need for speedRegistered Userregular
Highly specialized software that doesn't see bulk sales cost a lot.
Some software costs hundreds of thousands. Because it's the kind of software you sell maybe a few hundred times, but it's incredibly good at what it does.
Enterprise level asset management software is like this (I used to be in that business).
+5
Options
ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
ok I'm going now
hopefully when I get back chat will have moved on to something less massively depressing, like the situation in the Crimea or that Malaysian Airlines flight
fuck gendered marketing
+2
Options
Deebaseron my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered Userregular
the terrible hiring process is why i'm probably never going to get a real job
i can't do it
like, psychologically
sure you can. It sucks, but the alternative is stewing in your fail juices until you die, which sucks more.
Alternately, you can always join Team Quid in the military, pay your dues and make medium stacks with $$BENEFITS$$ and job security.
It was specifically government accounting software. We are not the only player in that game, so we don't get every agency. We need to redo the software every year to deal with new legislation. And it needs to be customized for every individual agency. Costs get ludicrously high really fast, we only have a few clients so it's not like we can afford selling it cheap, and it's not like they're going to get a much better deal elsewhere.
0
Options
Nova_CI have the needThe need for speedRegistered Userregular
Also: Service contracts. That software that costs a quarter million aslo has onsite support where an engineer from the developer will fly to you to support the software.
Posts
To be fair, in Australia it's probably $8000
Companies need to have a SOP ready for applicants. Then they can use that to weed people out who shotgun resumes to them, and get exactly what they are looking for.
pajamabuttsluts.com (young ladies in sleeping attire)
Sure, you neither want to be forced out of the kitchen or into it.
nobody looks at it
then like
we need to issue a couple hundred thousand dollars in contracts
AND THEY'RE LIKE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US
it costs, roughly speaking, just as much to make any kind of software
take that cost and divide it by number of customers and you have the absolute minimum price
My last promotion required my resume to go through major revisions and was custom tailored to the job. You see, HR policy is that all promotions have to go through in the summer, so in order to cheese this and promote me off cycle, I had to be treated like I was applying for the job.
My old boss and current boss told me to apply for this job. The job was mine if I wanted it. I still had to interview with HR. HR still needed to bring in a handful of external candidates who suited up and came down to interview for a job that no one had any intention of hiring them for.
EVERYTHING ABOUT HIRING IS TERRIBLE
At ten years of accomplishments you can do a CV, which is allowed to be more detailed.
But before that moment, every resume I ever had was under a page because FUCK multi-page resumes.
If you are giving a resume and not a CV, the job you are aiming for is not important enough to give them multiple sheets of paper.
More people need to craft a proto-resume.
Make one big document with a Short / long version of every job, your education, etc... the thing should end up being 3 pages at least.
Then copypasta the appropriate length segments for the job you are aiming for, crafting that perfect one page resume from the lego set you made for yourself earlier.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
we have software licenses that cost over ten thousand
for a license
that you have to renew
you should never be sending out a resume without a cover letter
ever
and the reason why objective doesn't need to be there is because it should be evident from your cover letter
get a job, support the team, etc are all pleb goals
employers want to see (even if it's a lie) that you can put together a good line about why you care about what you do and how this job allows to accomplish that goal
nah when you peel off your rank layers the stench floods the entire building and they all run to puke at once
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong division
You do a job for a few years
Then they're all
"Hey go do this other job for a few years"
Then you go live in Hawaii and do that job
It's just insane really when you think about it. The software basically just talks to serial interfaces (the analyzers that actually do the work) and makes cool little graphs and prints reports. $60,000 for that. And that's just the "basic software with 1 interface for 1 physician" once you add more physicians and more pieces of equipment it goes higher.
I think ti's something like $120,000 for the full suite of software we have in our lab now. Of course it was a slow upgrade over time but all in all if we were to build a lab today and license it, that's what it'd be.
I should probably start working for these companies instead.
Yeah, that was pretty common in the place I interned at as well, a big ole gov't contractor.
It was awful, I'd see these guys come in, interview for a position that I and everyone else knew they would never get.
i can't do it
like, psychologically
As long as your dick?
they have next to no customers compared to say, word
so
and apparently zbrush is really gooooooooood
wahhhhh
This just made me realize: I have been working for 20 years. I got my first job at 14.
Legumes that you vurp and continue to chew like cud. Mmmmmm peanutty.
Pretty much any department of a business that doesn't directly generate income gets fucking shafted.
HR/Recruiting? You can spend the money to hire people who know what they're doing and will find and hire quality people, and then keep them.
Or you can pay bottom dollar for a couple of chucklefucks who toss the resumes in the air.
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
its a bigger pain in the ass than you think.
You have these programs that NEED to be accurate, meet regulatory guidelines, communicate over old-assed teletype aged bullshit (ACK/NACK), and sells to a small, non-consumer market.
These things are expensive for a reason.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Because one of the places is non-profit and thus wanted a shit ton of info and the other place is government/government contracting which requires your fucking life history to apply.
Actually my two page resume netted me more interviews and responses for jobs in two months than the 1 page.
General rule, know your sector. Some you do one page short resumes and expand on them in your one page cover letter. Others if it isn't a list of everything you have done as an adult don't apply.
Some software costs hundreds of thousands. Because it's the kind of software you sell maybe a few hundred times, but it's incredibly good at what it does.
Enterprise level asset management software is like this (I used to be in that business).
hopefully when I get back chat will have moved on to something less massively depressing, like the situation in the Crimea or that Malaysian Airlines flight
sure you can. It sucks, but the alternative is stewing in your fail juices until you die, which sucks more.
Alternately, you can always join Team Quid in the military, pay your dues and make medium stacks with $$BENEFITS$$ and job security.
MR GOAT NO
YOU HAVE A BRIGHT LIFE AHEAD OF YOU, DON'T TURN TO CRIME
It was specifically government accounting software. We are not the only player in that game, so we don't get every agency. We need to redo the software every year to deal with new legislation. And it needs to be customized for every individual agency. Costs get ludicrously high really fast, we only have a few clients so it's not like we can afford selling it cheap, and it's not like they're going to get a much better deal elsewhere.