NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
So had our little get together tonight. Played a couple games of Eldritch Horror (lost both times, and both times NOT from Azatoth waking up).
Gotta remind myself that she probably doesn't want to date and that I should just be a friend (because I know that asking her out even semi-formally since she just broke up with her ex would kill any chance at all for anything). But she's nice and we got a ton of stuff in common, like game tastes, attitudes and social situations.
Anyway we're doing another game day saturday with more/other games, so I'm at least getting out of the house now.
Is there a general concensus about a dating site that head and shoulders above the rest if you are looking to join trying to find an actual relationship and not a hookup? I've joined several over the last 10 years, usually give them 6 months then leave because of no success, but im getting the itch to try one again but was hoping for something with a decent track record.
KupotheAvengerDestroyer of Cakeand other deserts.Registered Userregular
eharmony is trash. this is from the conclusive test of having a membership across almost every dating site. A lot of my dates came from OKC or POF. I only had one solidly good date/relationship from Match. As far as eharmony, if you really want to resort to it, wait til the membership is on sale.
So had our little get together tonight. Played a couple games of Eldritch Horror (lost both times, and both times NOT from Azatoth waking up).
Gotta remind myself that she probably doesn't want to date and that I should just be a friend (because I know that asking her out even semi-formally since she just broke up with her ex would kill any chance at all for anything). But she's nice and we got a ton of stuff in common, like game tastes, attitudes and social situations.
Anyway we're doing another game day saturday with more/other games, so I'm at least getting out of the house now.
congrats that is very cool news!
LFGdating | In twenty years I'll still be playing Red Alert ... and Goldeneye.
I joined E-harmony for 6 months several years ago and had no luck with it. I especially did not like that it did not let me browse for other singles, instead just feeding me one match a day. Has that changed at all? I might give it another try i just want to know if its gone through any changes since.
Stuff I have heard about eharmony:
Matches are based on results of multiple-choice questions. There are no essays or explanations. Supposedly, this is supposed to make you really think about your answer, rather than answering and then attempting to explain how you feel.
They only match heterosexual couples. They explained this as saying there was only long-term psychological research on heterosexual coupling, but the founder has ties to various religious fundamentalist groups that espouse "one man - one woman" thinking.
That said, everyone I've talked to who tried eharmony (including my brother) and has put the effort into getting their best answers has been very happy with it.
So, you know, if you're straight, want to spend a long time thinking about the most applicable answers for you, and are willing to pay for it, it's a pretty good option.
As I recall, I signed up for it once on one of those free weekends many years ago 'cause I wanted to take the personality tests (I like those), but I don't recall what my results were.
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JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
Back from my date. My pirate hat got lots of approval from the people of Ottawa!
My date is definitively a very intelligent girl but I feel like we're not a very good match romantically. I'd geniuenly like to stay friends, tough.
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
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JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
Found a nice, pretty, nerdy girl to chat with. We're hitting it off pretty well
I asked her what she looks for in a guy. Her FIRST criteria is nerdy. Made me smile.
Only one little problem : She lives in Massena,NY. It's not that far away (roughly 150km) but it IS in the US... :sad:
Then again I kind of have a thing for nerdy american girls, what can I say! Short distance relationships are too simple for me it seems!
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
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JuliusCaptain of Serenityon my shipRegistered Userregular
My date is definitively a very intelligent girl but I feel like we're not a very good match romantically. I'd geniuenly like to stay friends, tough.
I first read that as "My data" which makes no sense unless I believe that putting information about every new person I meet into a spreadsheet to determine who I should interact with more is a good idea.
When I tried to sign up for eharmony, after I completed the pretty lengthy questionnaire they said "sorry, we can't match you to anyone you should go somewhere else."
So, yeah. That felt pretty great. Dunno if they've changed since then.
When I tried to sign up for eharmony, after I completed the pretty lengthy questionnaire they said "sorry, we can't match you to anyone you should go somewhere else."
So, yeah. That felt pretty great. Dunno if they've changed since then.
When I tried to sign up for eharmony, after I completed the pretty lengthy questionnaire they said "sorry, we can't match you to anyone you should go somewhere else."
So, yeah. That felt pretty great. Dunno if they've changed since then.
that happened to me many many moons ago
never went back
Yeah this was years ago back when I thought internet dating could still work for me. That little message sure didn't help things any. It's like talking to a career counselor for a couple hours then at the end they give you your money back/don't take your money and apologize because they can't help you. (Which has also happened to me).
In a awesome relationship for a bit more than four months now and I met her thanks to internet dating! She did sprint running in college and was really involved in students associations and whatnot so really no chance I would've met her otherwise since I'm more of an introvert/geeky guy. The tips I gathered from this very thread in profile writing really did help out so thanks everyone! She still quotes me some passages of my profile so yeah.. gotta give credit where credit is due
I'm from a very white area (less than 3% allophones) and she was born in Mali. I was stupidly expecting some awkward moments but everything's been great so far. Even my grandmother suffering from dementia is cool with it..the same grandmother that asked me if I masturbated too much when I went to see her with my arm in a cast. No inhibitions is really funny sometimes. Same with my 89 years old grandfather who also hates lawyers (she's a lawyer).
Best of luck everyone! Play the numbers game and meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet. Her profile really didn't match how she actually is so just go for it even if you're not sure. At worst you lost a few hours.
P.S. Girls - write better profiles! Saying you "Love Life" tells me nothing about you.
I joined E-harmony for 6 months several years ago and had no luck with it. I especially did not like that it did not let me browse for other singles, instead just feeding me one match a day. Has that changed at all? I might give it another try i just want to know if its gone through any changes since.
I signed up for eharmony a few months or so ago and I've found its currently the exact opposite. They've been spamming the crap out of my inbox with nearly a dozen new matches a day, to the point where I've turned off new matches to try and get caught up on the ones currently in my queue. Maybe its a time/location/age thing (since I hear eharmony skews towards the 30+ demographic), but I wouldn't say I lack for potential matches there now (though actually making it through the guided matching process takes quite a bit of time).
So I recently took the plunge on Match. Set up my profile, got a few likes pretty quickly. One girl gets in touch with me, and we hit it off well enough that after signing up only last week I had my first date on sunday. Overall? As good as one can expect a first date from two shy people. We seem to be very like minded, and open to each other's interests. Great!
The one kicker though? She's currently seperated from her husband, since he was abusive. I'm alright with the fact that she was married (her profile said currently seperated), but it's recent enough that they aren't actually divorced yet. It's like, okay, there's baggage. However this baggage could potentially get ugly real fast, if it happens at all. Now I'm torn because she's incredibly nice, and I really would like to see her more, but I'm not really comfortable dating in that scenario. I would hate to cut things off so soon after such a good start, but the divorce could take a long time, and I don't want to be stuck in the middle of it.
It seems best to cut it off now while there's little investment from either party, but it feels like that could also be a huge mistake. Argh!
Maybe you can tell her that you feel weird about dating in the middle of her divorce, call it friends, and see if you can pick it back up when her divorce is through? I know a lot of people feel like if you don't strike while the iron is hot then it can never be hot again, but eh, when that's the case it just seems like an indication that you weren't actually right for each other. Even if you don't pick it up again later, making new friends is dope.
Maybe you can tell her that you feel weird about dating in the middle of her divorce, call it friends, and see if you can pick it back up when her divorce is through? I know a lot of people feel like if you don't strike while the iron is hot then it can never be hot again, but eh, when that's the case it just seems like an indication that you weren't actually right for each other. Even if you don't pick it up again later, making new friends is dope.
I'm gonna guess she won't be thrilled with that route, but that's just my opinion.
I would say stick with it at least for a little while - if you really like her, doing a few more dates will only confirm that or make it clear that their is definitely baggage there. Then you at least won't have any regrets about what could have been.
LFGdating | In twenty years I'll still be playing Red Alert ... and Goldeneye.
So I recently took the plunge on Match. Set up my profile, got a few likes pretty quickly. One girl gets in touch with me, and we hit it off well enough that after signing up only last week I had my first date on sunday. Overall? As good as one can expect a first date from two shy people. We seem to be very like minded, and open to each other's interests. Great!
The one kicker though? She's currently seperated from her husband, since he was abusive. I'm alright with the fact that she was married (her profile said currently seperated), but it's recent enough that they aren't actually divorced yet. It's like, okay, there's baggage. However this baggage could potentially get ugly real fast, if it happens at all. Now I'm torn because she's incredibly nice, and I really would like to see her more, but I'm not really comfortable dating in that scenario. I would hate to cut things off so soon after such a good start, but the divorce could take a long time, and I don't want to be stuck in the middle of it.
It seems best to cut it off now while there's little investment from either party, but it feels like that could also be a huge mistake. Argh!
I would focus on how things are going between the two of you.
If you're hitting it off and loving it and nothing is interfering, great!
If her husband and the situation start affecting your own relationship, time for a talk and maybe she's not in a place for this yet.
I recommend not making an issue of it on her behalf, there is no shame or guilt in being with someone that has been with someone else before. Sometimes shit was really bad but that doesn't mean you're done or want to dwell on it. You want to move on.
It irritates me when people have answered the questions and they get to one of the contravesial ones put an explanation like "urgh, why is this even a question?". Surely those are the questions that you SHOULD want to know about an anonymous stranger off the internet? (particularly the one thats basically a coded "are you a rapist")
Man there's nothing worse than a tepid date with somebody who is either really shy or just disinterested to the point of rudeness and you can't tell which. What I should do is just say "that was a boring conversation, no harm done, on to the next person" but my dumb brain gets fixated on thoughts about what's wrong with me to make her not even want to look me in the eyes, etc. She was about 4 years younger than me though so I feel like it's probably a difference in maturity, maybe she just felt intimidated.
Haven't done shit with my account except having a tinder account if that counts, because nothing comes from tinder, finally went about deleting my accounts thinking maybe to start a new one My PoF one had a shit load of views, fuck it, I'm back in the online dating game. Need to set up some new accounts and figure out what to write in a profile again. Also going to throw another Christmas party this year, so we'll see if that reaps any rewards.
When I was quite young, slightly older girls actually had kind of insistent crushes on me. I wasn't too hype about it at the time.
I remember refusing a hug when I was leaving the country, and making one cry. Probably would have just given her the hug if our families hadn't been snickering like a bunch of creeps. Life is weird.
I've been getting back into this. Had a random woman view my profile. Bit older than I like but I messaged her.
Things are going fine. Exchange a couple messages. She seems quite interested. So tonight we move to texting.
No problems. I ask about her job. She asks about mine. Then she says 'I don't think you read and understood my profile'. I say I don't understand. She says she's serious and looking for her future partner.
Now, so am I. I don't use these sites for sex. But this bizarre accusation comes from nowhere. The conversation wasn't remotely sexual or even flirtacious.
So after I said I'm looking for the same thing, I made my excuses and ended the conversation. I think this was a blind alley. Only a crazy person expects a promise of marriage before they get a coffee with you. Back to the spam then.
When I tried to sign up for eharmony, after I completed the pretty lengthy questionnaire they said "sorry, we can't match you to anyone you should go somewhere else."
So, yeah. That felt pretty great. Dunno if they've changed since then.
It's part of their whole matching dynamic, and I got that the first time I tried them. The userbase tends to skew older and more serious than other sites.
JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
American nerd girl I mentionned earlier seems to have lost interest O well
*upload selfie in a suit*
*gets date with a girl within 30 minutes*
Goddamn, I should had took a picture of myself in a suit earlier!
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
Posts
Gotta remind myself that she probably doesn't want to date and that I should just be a friend (because I know that asking her out even semi-formally since she just broke up with her ex would kill any chance at all for anything). But she's nice and we got a ton of stuff in common, like game tastes, attitudes and social situations.
Anyway we're doing another game day saturday with more/other games, so I'm at least getting out of the house now.
What madness?!
Thanks
That said, the only site I've had any luck on so far is PoF.
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
congrats that is very cool news!
Matches are based on results of multiple-choice questions. There are no essays or explanations. Supposedly, this is supposed to make you really think about your answer, rather than answering and then attempting to explain how you feel.
They only match heterosexual couples. They explained this as saying there was only long-term psychological research on heterosexual coupling, but the founder has ties to various religious fundamentalist groups that espouse "one man - one woman" thinking.
That said, everyone I've talked to who tried eharmony (including my brother) and has put the effort into getting their best answers has been very happy with it.
So, you know, if you're straight, want to spend a long time thinking about the most applicable answers for you, and are willing to pay for it, it's a pretty good option.
As I recall, I signed up for it once on one of those free weekends many years ago 'cause I wanted to take the personality tests (I like those), but I don't recall what my results were.
My date is definitively a very intelligent girl but I feel like we're not a very good match romantically. I'd geniuenly like to stay friends, tough.
I asked her what she looks for in a guy. Her FIRST criteria is nerdy. Made me smile.
Only one little problem : She lives in Massena,NY. It's not that far away (roughly 150km) but it IS in the US... :sad:
Then again I kind of have a thing for nerdy american girls, what can I say! Short distance relationships are too simple for me it seems!
I first read that as "My data" which makes no sense unless I believe that putting information about every new person I meet into a spreadsheet to determine who I should interact with more is a good idea.
Where are you finding these nerdy girls? stop hogging the nerdy girls damnit!
time to grab a passport!!
My three dates went nicely, but I discover that I'm still not in a good place to date.
oh well =/
So, yeah. That felt pretty great. Dunno if they've changed since then.
that happened to me many many moons ago
never went back
Yeah this was years ago back when I thought internet dating could still work for me. That little message sure didn't help things any. It's like talking to a career counselor for a couple hours then at the end they give you your money back/don't take your money and apologize because they can't help you. (Which has also happened to me).
Cause I hear they frown upon those type of answers.
I'm from a very white area (less than 3% allophones) and she was born in Mali. I was stupidly expecting some awkward moments but everything's been great so far. Even my grandmother suffering from dementia is cool with it..the same grandmother that asked me if I masturbated too much when I went to see her with my arm in a cast. No inhibitions is really funny sometimes. Same with my 89 years old grandfather who also hates lawyers (she's a lawyer).
Best of luck everyone! Play the numbers game and meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet. Her profile really didn't match how she actually is so just go for it even if you're not sure. At worst you lost a few hours.
P.S. Girls - write better profiles! Saying you "Love Life" tells me nothing about you.
I signed up for eharmony a few months or so ago and I've found its currently the exact opposite. They've been spamming the crap out of my inbox with nearly a dozen new matches a day, to the point where I've turned off new matches to try and get caught up on the ones currently in my queue. Maybe its a time/location/age thing (since I hear eharmony skews towards the 30+ demographic), but I wouldn't say I lack for potential matches there now (though actually making it through the guided matching process takes quite a bit of time).
The one kicker though? She's currently seperated from her husband, since he was abusive. I'm alright with the fact that she was married (her profile said currently seperated), but it's recent enough that they aren't actually divorced yet. It's like, okay, there's baggage. However this baggage could potentially get ugly real fast, if it happens at all. Now I'm torn because she's incredibly nice, and I really would like to see her more, but I'm not really comfortable dating in that scenario. I would hate to cut things off so soon after such a good start, but the divorce could take a long time, and I don't want to be stuck in the middle of it.
It seems best to cut it off now while there's little investment from either party, but it feels like that could also be a huge mistake. Argh!
I'm gonna guess she won't be thrilled with that route, but that's just my opinion.
I would say stick with it at least for a little while - if you really like her, doing a few more dates will only confirm that or make it clear that their is definitely baggage there. Then you at least won't have any regrets about what could have been.
That should end well ..
I would focus on how things are going between the two of you.
If you're hitting it off and loving it and nothing is interfering, great!
If her husband and the situation start affecting your own relationship, time for a talk and maybe she's not in a place for this yet.
I recommend not making an issue of it on her behalf, there is no shame or guilt in being with someone that has been with someone else before. Sometimes shit was really bad but that doesn't mean you're done or want to dwell on it. You want to move on.
This site is weird.
Internet dating is inherently weird. Welcome to the mad house!
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
oh well
I remember refusing a hug when I was leaving the country, and making one cry. Probably would have just given her the hug if our families hadn't been snickering like a bunch of creeps. Life is weird.
Things are going fine. Exchange a couple messages. She seems quite interested. So tonight we move to texting.
No problems. I ask about her job. She asks about mine. Then she says 'I don't think you read and understood my profile'. I say I don't understand. She says she's serious and looking for her future partner.
Now, so am I. I don't use these sites for sex. But this bizarre accusation comes from nowhere. The conversation wasn't remotely sexual or even flirtacious.
So after I said I'm looking for the same thing, I made my excuses and ended the conversation. I think this was a blind alley. Only a crazy person expects a promise of marriage before they get a coffee with you. Back to the spam then.
It's part of their whole matching dynamic, and I got that the first time I tried them. The userbase tends to skew older and more serious than other sites.
Thoughts.
*upload selfie in a suit*
*gets date with a girl within 30 minutes*
Goddamn, I should had took a picture of myself in a suit earlier!