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How to say sorry?
iamhsk1
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
please can anyone help me ? i am in long distance love , i love one a girl who is far from me ,i love her so much , i never wanted to hurt her but i don't know what was happend to me that i start talking with too many girls and become too free with them . i know my mistakes are not small coz talking to other girls about sexually things wasn't good for me .when she knew it , she hurted too much and leave me. i am really shamefull for all of my mistakes , i know its too bad and due to coz it i really feel too much guilty from my own self. i don't need other girl without her . i don't what to do ?and how to get her back again ? I need ur help too much.....
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She isn't going to come back and you would be inappropriate in hounding her about it. Learn from this, and don't do it again when next you are in a relationship. Your guilt/sadness is immaterial to the situation, while it sucks to feel that way you are the one who hurt her, and her pain makes yours seem miniscule. And no amount of apologizing will change that.
At that point it's up to her. If she wants to give you a second chance she'll let you know, but any further advances on your part are a) stalker-y, and b) likely to hurt what little chances you have left.
For now just assume it's over and move on, and remember your mistakes when this type of opportunity comes up next time you're in a relationship with someone.
And it doesn't matter if you had sex with them or not, if she feels betrayed then that's how she feels.
This is not a situation where you can say these things and do those things and everything will be fine. People/relationships do not work that way. You ask for forgiveness and see how it goes. Sometimes you get another chance and sometimes you don't.
Seconded, and re-iterating. Ask for forgiveness. If she does not accept it, then that's her decision and you need to respect that. If she is willing to keep in contact, time might help. Like it our not though, respect her wishes.
Acknowledge: You need to state exactly what you have done wrong. This is an important first step, because if both of you are not on the same page about exactly what was wrong, it can happen again. Example, you come home drunk, late, after missing a call. Maybe they don't care about one or two of these things, and the button issue is just one of them. ("I don't care if you are out late drinking with your friends, just let me know you are ok") Whatever it is, unless you are both clear on the problem you are almost certainly doomed to repetition.
Apologise: Actually say that you are sorry for what you did. So many people try and apologise without taking blame, such as "I'm sorry you got hurt." As though you were a bystander to their car accident. "I'm sorry I cheated on you" accepts responsibility for the pain. You messed up. Admit it, and be genuinely sorry for what you have done. If you just say it as though it is an incantation that repairs everything, it won't. Remorse for causing hurt is required.
Atone: You did damage. Repair or replace what you can. If you break a window with a ball and say sorry, the window is still broken. It needs replacing. Repairing damaged feelings is more difficult. When trust is broken sometimes it cannot be repaired. Most of the time the only way to atone is to remove yourself from their life. That's your punishment, your penance. You don't get to be with them anymore. And you won't be done paying until they come back. And most of the time they don't.
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