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I don't really know what to do with my life.
Arthil
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Maybe that's a bit of a dramatic title, but it isn't untruthful either.
I'm going to be twenty five come the end of this year, and I've not really made any progress in pulling myself out of my living situation. For the past five or so years I've lived under the kindness of my friend and his family, but it's just beginning to grate on me. Between there at times being a lack of trust, or outright disrespect up to and including not caring about my attempts to lose weight as they leave so many tempting foods sitting right out in the open.
Me and the friend are fine, I just want out. To do so I need a job, and I was employed last year for a large grocery chain doing stocking. Between having to rely on someone else for transportation, and the pay honestly not amounting to much it was getting hard to keep up. I've not been working since February, and my savings have all but shriveled up and died. My only form of income is that someone owes me $200 and has been paying me back weekly.
Transportation is being fixed... somewhat. I purchased a used bicycle, which I'll need to teach myself how to ride. It's a little too tall, though my money is secure as if it doesn't work well enough I have a relative who will buy it for what I paid.
I feel like I'm going through that time in your life that you're expected to when still a teenager. My own teenage life was difficult, and forced me to grow up and not have time to dwell on things like what I want to do with my life. I'm indecisive. One month the prospect of becoming a nurse seemed appealing, a few months later I was intrigued by Electrical work. Now I'm torn on whether I should just go full out to college instead. My education isn't exactly impressive. I "dropped out" of school in the seventh grade, and my mother didn't seem to understand the concept of homeschooling at all and simply bought the books and gave them to me. I've got my GED, and overall I actually scored well on the tests except for Math where I fell behind. That was a few years ago, what I learned in those math classes has all but escaped my mind by now.
No matter what I do, I'll need to work on my math skills as there seems to be very few jobs which do not involve it. Regardless I just don't know what I want to do. Some part of me wants to just do better than either of my parents ever did. They didn't graduate high school, my mother still doesn't even have a GED. Both of them worked back in the days when a factory job was actually worth something and you weren't pigeon-holed into minimum wage through a temp agency. Maybe it seems selfish of me, but I want to be able to live in better surroundings. When I was a kid the area I live was fine, but these days it's just not how it used to be.
Some of this came off as rambling and I apologize for it. I'll try to provide any vague information I can if requested.
I'm going to be twenty five come the end of this year, and I've not really made any progress in pulling myself out of my living situation. For the past five or so years I've lived under the kindness of my friend and his family, but it's just beginning to grate on me. Between there at times being a lack of trust, or outright disrespect up to and including not caring about my attempts to lose weight as they leave so many tempting foods sitting right out in the open.
Me and the friend are fine, I just want out. To do so I need a job, and I was employed last year for a large grocery chain doing stocking. Between having to rely on someone else for transportation, and the pay honestly not amounting to much it was getting hard to keep up. I've not been working since February, and my savings have all but shriveled up and died. My only form of income is that someone owes me $200 and has been paying me back weekly.
Transportation is being fixed... somewhat. I purchased a used bicycle, which I'll need to teach myself how to ride. It's a little too tall, though my money is secure as if it doesn't work well enough I have a relative who will buy it for what I paid.
I feel like I'm going through that time in your life that you're expected to when still a teenager. My own teenage life was difficult, and forced me to grow up and not have time to dwell on things like what I want to do with my life. I'm indecisive. One month the prospect of becoming a nurse seemed appealing, a few months later I was intrigued by Electrical work. Now I'm torn on whether I should just go full out to college instead. My education isn't exactly impressive. I "dropped out" of school in the seventh grade, and my mother didn't seem to understand the concept of homeschooling at all and simply bought the books and gave them to me. I've got my GED, and overall I actually scored well on the tests except for Math where I fell behind. That was a few years ago, what I learned in those math classes has all but escaped my mind by now.
No matter what I do, I'll need to work on my math skills as there seems to be very few jobs which do not involve it. Regardless I just don't know what I want to do. Some part of me wants to just do better than either of my parents ever did. They didn't graduate high school, my mother still doesn't even have a GED. Both of them worked back in the days when a factory job was actually worth something and you weren't pigeon-holed into minimum wage through a temp agency. Maybe it seems selfish of me, but I want to be able to live in better surroundings. When I was a kid the area I live was fine, but these days it's just not how it used to be.
Some of this came off as rambling and I apologize for it. I'll try to provide any vague information I can if requested.
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Not having a college degree isn't a killer but will limit your options. There's still a lot of decent jobs open, just harder to find.
Don't fall for on-line schools like Corinthian that the gov't is finally shutting down. Phoenix seemed still OK last I heard.
Can your friend's parents do anything for you? Maybe get you in touch with hiring managers?
I've been given some advice by another forum goer privately. Overall it seems my best bet first... Is to take remedial classes at my community college in order to get my math skills up to snuff. I failed the first pre-test when taking classes for my GED, and had to take another month or two worth to be prepared. Even then I scored far lower than the other tests for it.
He recommended I take the SAT after this, as actually having an SAT score(hopefully a good one) would help me in getting into a school. After that... Well, the options kind of open up don't they? Computer Science is a possibility, though Petroleum Engineering was also put on the table. That almost feels like a pipe dream, pun not intended.
My local Community & Technical college is actually very close, biking there wouldn't be that big of a stretch. The closest actual university, which I'll freely say is the University of Louisville, has a campus wonderfully designed for bikes. But that's assuming I could live up there while going to school.
Perfect. See if she knows of any department hiring for any position you may qualify for. Hospitals employee a lot more people than doctors and nurses, and many of the positions don't require any education as long as you can do what you're told to do. If they've been kind enough to let you live there as long as they have, then I have a feeling she will do everything she can to help you get a job if you asked.
This. A friend of mine got a position as a porter (transporting patients and their bodies after they pass on) here in Canada, and that position paid MUCH better than any other entry level position he could have gotten. Also, it was a pretty slack job. YMMV, but an in at the hospital might be a great place to get on your feet.
Good with computers, look into getting IT certs at a local CC.
Prefer to work with your hands, plumbing/electrician/welding etc.
Many of these things either have formal apprenticeship processes, where you can earn a reduced range while you learn, or with IT it's not terribly hard to find a help desk job.
Given your age and the ground you need to make up in your education, I'd be hesitant to recommend anything requiring a super intense BA/BS. Like for most engineering degrees, you are looking at at least:
3 semesters of calc
a semester of 'other advanced math'(matrices focused classes, discrete math, etc)
2 semesters of calc based physics
and some major specifics physics/chem with pretty strong math needs.
If you were having issues passing the math part of the GED you are probably 2 years of math classes away from being able to start those calc courses. That means even with no set-backs you will be earning McJob wages and accumulating debt for the next 6 years. Before you get out into the work force.
@tinwhiskers has the right of it when it comes to engineering/"hard" science degrees; I took 9 math classes in 8 semesters. Some of them get masked as "technical electives" but all they really are is field-specific math. Another great point is that these degrees cost a hefty chunk of change. I'm around your (OP's) age and definitely not done paying off my student loans.
Here are two bits of advice that I think helped me over the years:
- Pick something and see it through. For example, if you decide to go for an IT certification (there are many different ones), get one. If you decide it's not for you, don't start another one. You still walk out with a cert and a better idea of what you want. If you quit half way, you pretty much just wasted your time.
- Learn to separate the subject from the environment. I know plenty of people who hated a subject because they had a bad teacher, not because they disliked the material. For example, if you decide to go for an IT certification and start to not like it, ask yourself whether it's really the material you don't like, or just the format it's being presented in / who's presenting it. If you decide the latter, look for other programs, don't just drop it.
Best of luck! I'd love to see a post if/when you decide what you go for.
My Digital Pin Lanyard || PAX East '13, '14, '15, '19 | PAX South '15
Yeah, no.
It's no ones responsibility but your own to try to lose weight. Yes, there's going to be some people that help you and encourage you, but there's also going to be others that at best don't care, and at worst try to sabotage you. But it's certainly not 'disrespect' to leave tempting foods lying around. Unless they're force feeding you, if you eat them, it's your fault.
Not to say it isn't hard as shit to say no, but don't be a goose and blame someone else for your failings.
To the matter at hand, I'd also agree with tinwhiskers. Going back to school full time for a full BA/BS degree is costly and in no way a guarantee of employment. Find a skill you like and go with it. Climb a ladder from there. I started as a mechanic apprentice at a local garage, and now I'm working as a service advisor / part time management. I'm pretty shitty with my hands, actually, but the trade gave me an in to an industry I'm interested in, and I'm much more successful because of it.
Maybe flip through Volunteer Match? They offer all kinds of stuff like building houses with Habitat for Humanity, being a docent at cool places (I did this for an awesome Victorian brewery), helping with blood drives, cataloging data for nonprofits (which actually taught me some basic IT and accounting), or playing with puppies. It's a good, free way to get some experience, show employers that you're willing to work and are interested/interesting, and feel good about yourself at the same time.
With the help of another forum-goer, I think I've settled on something which I'd never given much thought to. I've always been a little bit on the artistic side, but you know the usual saying when it comes to art degrees... Well when I mentioned I enjoyed manipulating things in photo editing software, they suggested Compositing/Digital Compositing. Looking into it further only made it sound even more appealing really.
It's going to be something I'll go for. The skills I can teach to myself for the most part, although I think taking classes after doing everything I can by myself might not be the worst of decisions.
Kind of funny in the end, my mother always bugged me about trying to work with art again. Doodled a lot as a kid.