To the shrink!

ANTVGM64

Hello there Penny Arcade, after, oh, I dunno, many more years then I'd care to count coming to this forum for advice on the various questions about life, living, and sanity I've had, I decided (on the advice of the forum) to seek actual professional help.

Thus, I'm seeing a psychiatrist. I have idea what to expect. I have a form to fill out with some questions, which I'll answer completely honestly, but otherwise, totally in the dark. I figured as one for the proverbial road perhaps a little advice would be in order? I have a bunch of questions and google seems to yield a lot of different opinions, so here I am.

1. As long as I don't say I'm intending to hurt myself or others, which I'm not, is there anything else I can tell this person that would 'get me in trouble', so to speak? I'm sure everyone has crazy thoughts and so on and so forth, but I'd hate to go in there, say something that's been bugging me for awhile, then get looked at like a crazy person.

2. It's taken me like 14 years to finally get the gumption to see someone like this - I guess my biggest fear is I'm going to go, I'm going to say all the stuff that's on my mind or I feel weighs on my mind or inhibits me in my day-to-day life, and then have the person I'm seeing say there's nothing wrong with me and just to 'man up'. Is that a possibility? I was referred for depression.

3. If it turns out I do have depression, is this something I need to let me place of employment know?

3a. I also have some...rage-related issues at work, I take a lot of phone calls from a lot of...not very friendly people, and I've developed a very occasional habit of slamming my phone reciever into my actual phone. Normally it's fine, but the other day I broke a phone in two. I've also occasionally punched my monitor or gone on little obscenity laced tirades to myself. I've never lashed out or hurt another human being in my life, but I'm worried if I tell the doctor this, then I have to tell me work I saw the doctor, I won't have my job any more?

4. Over the...decades I've developed a theory or two regarding wtf is 'wrong' with me, but I'm curious if I should go in and kind of keep all that to myself, or kind of talk about what I've read on the internet and heard from friends who have sought help for their various mental issues. Another big fear of mine - from years of parents telling me Mental Health is kinda for loonies, is that the doc will think 'I'm faking' if I show up with any kind of knowledge about various mental health-related issues.

5. It took me...3 months to get scheduled for this appointment. Should I expect my *next* appointment to be several months later too, or would they be more regular?

6. Anything else I should expect going in? I'm excited but also nervous about opening up a big ole can of worms I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about in my life.

admanb

1. No.

2. If that happens, find a new psychiatrist because this one is terrible.

3. God no.

3a. Again, god no.

4. It should be fine to tell him. He's going to take it all with a grain of salt, but if he's unwilling to even discuss your ideas then again, find a new psychiatrist.

5. They should be more regular after that. If he can't see you regularly, you should find a ne--you get the idea.

The Ender

1. As long as I don't say I'm intending to hurt myself or others, which I'm not, is there anything else I can tell this person that would 'get me in trouble', so to speak? I'm sure everyone has crazy thoughts and so on and so forth, but I'd hate to go in there, say something that's been bugging me for awhile, then get looked at like a crazy person.

In theory, no. A good therapist is going to want open communication with you.

Of course, therapists are people, and people are imperfect, so it's possible you might say something that will strike a nerve or raise a red flag where none is warranted. If that happens and you feel that communication is hamstrung as a result, i'd recommend finding a new therapist.

2. It's taken me like 14 years to finally get the gumption to see someone like this - I guess my biggest fear is I'm going to go, I'm going to say all the stuff that's on my mind or I feel weighs on my mind or inhibits me in my day-to-day life, and then have the person I'm seeing say there's nothing wrong with me and just to 'man up'. Is that a possibility? I was referred for depression.

Again, in theory, no. If they literally tell you to 'man up', I would strongly recommend finding a different therapist, because that's hardly professional advice.

That said, it is a field with a lot of different approaches. Some therapists have a more assertive methodology / personality, some are much more clinical, some are much more personable, etc. If you feel that a given therapists approach isn't working for you, find a different therapist.

3. If it turns out I do have depression, is this something I need to let me place of employment know?

3a. I also have some...rage-related issues at work, I take a lot of phone calls from a lot of...not very friendly people, and I've developed a very occasional habit of slamming my phone reciever into my actual phone. Normally it's fine, but the other day I broke a phone in two. I've also occasionally punched my monitor or gone on little obscenity laced tirades to myself. I've never lashed out or hurt another human being in my life, but I'm worried if I tell the doctor this, then I have to tell me work I saw the doctor, I won't have my job any more?

These two points seem kind of related:

I don't think that you're obligated to tell your employer about a mental health condition, and yes - you're absolutely right to assume that this may jeopardize your employment (especially if work in a place with limited worker protection / no union). Check your local laws & such, but if it's an optional thing, I would never tell my employer i was seeing a therapist (although i'd happily tell my union rep).

I would absolutely recommend telling your therapist about those outbursts, though, because that's of pretty serious concern even if you haven't ever hurt anyone. Remember that they're (in theory) there to help you, not to judge you or get you in trouble.

4. Over the...decades I've developed a theory....

Don't self-diagnose. Mental health is a very specialized field, and a lot of common conditions are thing you've probably never heard of because they're not among the popular few talked about in the media. Try to drop any preconceptions about what you think is wrong with you, and let the expert handle the diagnosis.

5. It took me...3 months to get scheduled for this appointment. Should I expect my *next* appointment to be several months later too, or would they be more regular?

6. Anything else I should expect going in? I'm excited but also nervous about opening up a big ole can of worms I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about in my life.

Both of these questions are going to be very subjective, and probably vary so much on a case by case basis that I doubt there's any standard rules. I'll give you a personal example:

I started with pretty regular sessions with my doctor (once per week), was given medication more or less immediately (...well, not 'more or less'. I had pills in hand before i even saw a therapist. :P ) and then sessions become more gradual at the doctor's discretion.

There was not one can of worms, but very, very many cans of horrible, gangrenous rotten worms that had to be emptied out. It was difficult & extremely painful at times to dig through it all with someone else - but, at the end of the day, those cans aren't in my pantry anymore, and that's a wonderful feeling.


Take that with a giant grain of salt, because it might not in any way be what your own experience will be like. Therapy is a very personal journey.

Mayabird

Assuming this therapist has any experience at all, you're not going to weird them out. They're not going to think you're just a wuss. They've seen this stuff before. They know how tough it is and how long it'll take; it'll take multiple sessions just to say everything you want to say. They've also seen some serious shit (like actual murderers or people who think they are) so you're not going to rattle them with a confession of having some rage.