29 is gonna be a big year for me, that's when my brother died. Thirteen years by then. (Jesus, has it been that long?) It's so weird to think I'll have outlived him. He died when I was sixteen. He always seemed like such an Adult to me, you know? Which is even weirder when I really analyze it, cause I've done way more than he ever did. Moved the fuck out of Texas and my parent's house. Got married. Never knocked up some chick and had to beg my mom to pay for the abortion. Never got into a fistfight with my dad! Had so much gay sex. If he ever touched a winger in his life I'd be mighty surprised.
But still. I had such an absentee father and my brother was so much older than me that he basically raised me. He was a miserable son of a bitch who I hated more than I loved, but I can't deny I don't miss the good parts. I'd be terrified to know what he'd think of me now, though. (Even though I'm positive I know what he'd say.) He'd look at my totally sweet tits, call me a faggot, and never talk to me again.
I'd take the tits over him any day though. The son of a bitch.
I could tell a story or two about my father.
He's still around though, so every couple years or so I get a new story to add to the compilation.
Don't hear much about him these days though, since he's basically chased away the entire family.
It's kind of what happens when you spend most of your life being a miserable piece of shit to everyone that cares about you.
I hate how in my family the few good ones have all gone somewhat young, all the old bastards who were stains and abusers on the family, still kickin into their 90's
You wanna talk about haggard people, come and hang out in Australia. That hole in the ozone layer means we get nailed by the sun. It's like a bunch of walking leather handbags down here
I've been 33 for a month. And every day, at some point, I think "I'm as old as Jesus was when he was killed."
I'm scrounging in my fridge for breakfast that's not last night's pizza, thinking "Loaves and fishes, yo."
I'm waiting for the bus to work in the rain, thinking "Calming the storm at the Sea of Galilee, yo."
I'm preparing a shitty power point about cable equipment, thinking "Sermon on the mount, yo."
It doesn't stop. I tried to find some other person whose accomplishments I stacked up to a little better, and found out that I'm also the same age Chris Farley was when he died. And that was super fucking depressing, because I was 16 when that happened. Chris Farley would be 50 this year, and he'd be amazing.
Could be worse... could still be 31, which was the age my own father was when he died. Farley and Jesus are at least a little abstract for me. I'm looking forward to 34... none of the names I'm seeing on the 34 lists are particularly resonant, so maybe I can take a break for that year.
Alan Rickman didn't start acting til 36!
This makes me feel way better about having started at 26
open and honest communication is almost always the way to go
my partner and I were going through a similar thing (actually, pretty much still are) and if we hadn't sat down and seriously discussed it, we'd be much worse off and possibly no longer together
And it's definitely a two-way street in being respectful of each other while talking about it. You feeling guilty about not having sex is not going to get your motors revving.
The situation as far as I can tell is that she has some self esteem problems, and when I'm not really making advances or reciprocating hers, she gets really upset and decides I must not find her sexually attractive anymore, and becomes really quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the night, and I've been having sex more even when I'm not super in the mood just so that won't happen.
But last night I realized I was starting to get resentful about it, so yeah, I'll need to have that talk. I don't know any good way to say "bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while", so I'll just go with that.
Things I learned today: Never cross The Hanged Man
I, I don't think that kid even crossed him?
Pretty much, yeah. It was easily the most evil thing I've ever deliberately done to another person (and beats all the accidental evil that I'm aware of). I think I was just pissed that this kid who I recognized from school clearly didn't also recognize me. I had pretty big self-esteem issues, as is typical for that age group, and feeling invisible to my peer group was a major source of angst. In all honesty, I was the kind of fucked up kid who could have gone pretty seriously bad, if my parents were less on top of things. 100% of my modern reminiscing on the ages of 14 to 17 is me going "What the hell, dude. What. The. Hell."
Desert Leviathan on
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
The situation as far as I can tell is that she has some self esteem problems, and when I'm not really making advances or reciprocating hers, she gets really upset and decides I must not find her sexually attractive anymore, and becomes really quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the night, and I've been having sex more even when I'm not super in the mood just so that won't happen.
But last night I realized I was starting to get resentful about it, so yeah, I'll need to have that talk. I don't know any good way to say "bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while", so I'll just go with that.
This is something that I have dealt with a lot and I have a lot of sympathy for your situation.
Something that you both should talk about are other ways that you can help reassure her without actually having sex. Because if you keep having sex when you don't actually want to it is going to really damage your relationship and how you view sex.
The situation as far as I can tell is that she has some self esteem problems, and when I'm not really making advances or reciprocating hers, she gets really upset and decides I must not find her sexually attractive anymore, and becomes really quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the night, and I've been having sex more even when I'm not super in the mood just so that won't happen.
But last night I realized I was starting to get resentful about it, so yeah, I'll need to have that talk. I don't know any good way to say "bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while", so I'll just go with that.
"Bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while" is a super polite. You're a kinder man than I am; if it were me I'd just say "I don't want to" and leave it at that, partner grumpiness be damned.
The first lady was super nice, but also very oldschool, and verrrry out of touch. I mentioned my HSA card and she had no idea what that was.
The second person, a guy, was actually really cool, super nice, and the conversation was casual enough to where I felt comfortable, but not so casual where I felt like I wasn't discussing anything important. May go with him, but I'll at least wait till I see a lady today to really decide.
+10
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Zen VulgarityWhat a lovely day for teaSecret British ThreadRegistered Userregular
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
wait what how does that work
my dream of growing a diamond house/car/robot body...
Maybe he meant that a lot of people think lab created diamonds are less prestigious? Lab created diamonds not being "real" diamonds is certainly a sentiment I've heard more than once.
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
Moissanites!
That's what the Future Mrs Rhesus is wearing right now.
Only one person has asked if it's real, and she's an annoying person in general so it's what I was expecting. Everybody else has either been "Oooh, sparkly" or focussed on the actually important thing which is that we're getting married and it's going to be awesome.
I was getting quite annoyed earlier when a couple of teenage guys were chatting about hot girls on tinder in the silent area of the library. I'm old and grumpy.
On a happy note we had to do some diagnostics for maths, the teacher was talking to us like we were idiots because it's a lot of mature students who haven't been in education. Until my results said I was at degree level maths. Then they looked scared. Massive smug face over here.
+7
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
Moissanites!
That's what the Future Mrs Rhesus is wearing right now.
Only one person has asked if it's real, and she's an annoying person in general so it's what I was expecting. Everybody else has either been "Oooh, sparkly" or focussed on the actually important thing which is that we're getting married and it's going to be awesome.
Sure, you could have bought some rock that was dug out of the dirt in abominable conditions by what basically amounts to slaves, or you could get a precious stone that was forged in the image of a SPACE GEM by a high tech lab!
oh, I thought worse as in, you know, ethically. not worse as in subjective value. fuck subjective value, you can't eat off a diamond ring or drive that shit to the beach
+6
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Nah, Moissanites are lab made. Based on a rock that fell from the sky, is a 9.75 on the Mohs hardness scale, and has MORE colour and fire than a diamond, due to being double-refractive.
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Zen VulgarityWhat a lovely day for teaSecret British ThreadRegistered Userregular
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
wait what how does that work
my dream of growing a diamond house/car/robot body...
Maybe he meant that a lot of people think lab created diamonds are less prestigious? Lab created diamonds not being "real" diamonds is certainly a sentiment I've heard more than once.
Man I hate being around rich people.
This isn't even a rich sentiment but yes this
+1
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
The situation as far as I can tell is that she has some self esteem problems, and when I'm not really making advances or reciprocating hers, she gets really upset and decides I must not find her sexually attractive anymore, and becomes really quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the night, and I've been having sex more even when I'm not super in the mood just so that won't happen.
But last night I realized I was starting to get resentful about it, so yeah, I'll need to have that talk. I don't know any good way to say "bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while", so I'll just go with that.
So, this is something that I can super duper relate to from both sides, actually. If you want you can PM me and I'll tell you all about it, but at one point or another in my life I have been both of you, and sometimes both at once which is pretty much the opposite of any kind of fun in any way because when you're both at once there is no way to win that.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
0
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
wait what how does that work
my dream of growing a diamond house/car/robot body...
Maybe he meant that a lot of people think lab created diamonds are less prestigious? Lab created diamonds not being "real" diamonds is certainly a sentiment I've heard more than once.
Man I hate being around rich people.
This isn't even a rich sentiment but yes this
Yeah, you have to buy a diamond that was pulled from the Earth or else you are the very most terribad prospective husband ever, apparently. I'm glad my future wife is as cool as Mrs Rhesus Positive and doesn't go in for that malarkey.
0
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Zen VulgarityWhat a lovely day for teaSecret British ThreadRegistered Userregular
Fuck diamonds fuckdiamond companies and fuck that somehow diamonds that are lab created are worse somehow
Bullshit
wait what how does that work
my dream of growing a diamond house/car/robot body...
Maybe he meant that a lot of people think lab created diamonds are less prestigious? Lab created diamonds not being "real" diamonds is certainly a sentiment I've heard more than once.
Man I hate being around rich people.
This isn't even a rich sentiment but yes this
Yeah, you have to buy a diamond that was pulled from the Earth or else you are the very most terribad prospective husband ever, apparently. I'm glad my future wife is as cool as Mrs Rhesus Positive and doesn't go in for that malarkey.
I've asked why it matters and all I ever get is that it just matters to her
Which is fine but I just don't get it
0
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Weddings are such personal things to everybody, and there can be decades of expectations at play.
Shit doesn't have to make sense.
Just get her the nicest diamond you can afford, sourced from a mine with a good reputation like Argyle, and go on with your other business.
+1
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
I used to really hate diamonds and then I really didn't and now I'm just like eh.
I have a diamond and I still love it, but at this point in my life if the situation came up again I would choose something else.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
+1
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Zen VulgarityWhat a lovely day for teaSecret British ThreadRegistered Userregular
Weddings are such personal things to everybody, and there can be decades of expectations at play.
Shit doesn't have to make sense.
Just get her the nicest diamond you can afford, sourced from a mine with a good reputation like Argyle, and go on with your other business.
No doubt
I aint mad but fuck deberes marketing
+14
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valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
I'm feeling older than I ever have. I'm headed to my 44th birthday in March. My 62 year old father just passed and I'm staring down a few decades of taking care of my mom now, and living with her.
As long as he was alive, I could keep to the fiction that I might move out one day, but in the last few years, I knew that wasn't going to happen. My job sucks, and it doesn't look to improve and I live in a dead-end town in the South where the big local families keep out companies that might pay more than they're willing to pay to their own workers. If I'd stayed in education, I might actually make a decent wage at this time, but this job is going nowhere. And whenever anyone brings it up, they always turn it around like it's your own fault, so it causes confidence issues on more than one level.
BUt now I have to deal with my mom, and I've just been wanting to break down every day because of what happened with my dad, even though that was three weeks ago, and I can't because she keeps doing it and I have to be strong for her. I've fought my depression before, but I strongly feel the urge just to give in a let it go this time.
I'm 43, live with my parents, am broke all the time, and have done nothing with my life. My job isn't rewarding and I have no prospects. And there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of this tunnel.
Posts
I could tell a story or two about my father.
He's still around though, so every couple years or so I get a new story to add to the compilation.
Don't hear much about him these days though, since he's basically chased away the entire family.
It's kind of what happens when you spend most of your life being a miserable piece of shit to everyone that cares about you.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
This makes me feel way better about having started at 26
and also about life at 26 in general
It's really ruining my day. I guess I should do the grown up thing and talk to them about it.
my partner and I were going through a similar thing (actually, pretty much still are) and if we hadn't sat down and seriously discussed it, we'd be much worse off and possibly no longer together
Unless you get turned on by guilt.
Yes, do this. Your partner trying to guilt you into sex is p skeevy, regardless of gender.
But last night I realized I was starting to get resentful about it, so yeah, I'll need to have that talk. I don't know any good way to say "bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while", so I'll just go with that.
Pretty much, yeah. It was easily the most evil thing I've ever deliberately done to another person (and beats all the accidental evil that I'm aware of). I think I was just pissed that this kid who I recognized from school clearly didn't also recognize me. I had pretty big self-esteem issues, as is typical for that age group, and feeling invisible to my peer group was a major source of angst. In all honesty, I was the kind of fucked up kid who could have gone pretty seriously bad, if my parents were less on top of things. 100% of my modern reminiscing on the ages of 14 to 17 is me going "What the hell, dude. What. The. Hell."
This is something that I have dealt with a lot and I have a lot of sympathy for your situation.
Something that you both should talk about are other ways that you can help reassure her without actually having sex. Because if you keep having sex when you don't actually want to it is going to really damage your relationship and how you view sex.
"Bad things happened to me when I was younger and sometimes sex is just the last thing on my mind for a while" is a super polite. You're a kinder man than I am; if it were me I'd just say "I don't want to" and leave it at that, partner grumpiness be damned.
The first lady was super nice, but also very oldschool, and verrrry out of touch. I mentioned my HSA card and she had no idea what that was.
The second person, a guy, was actually really cool, super nice, and the conversation was casual enough to where I felt comfortable, but not so casual where I felt like I wasn't discussing anything important. May go with him, but I'll at least wait till I see a lady today to really decide.
Bullshit
Exactly!
wait what how does that work
my dream of growing a diamond house/car/robot body...
Moissanites!
But diamonds are traditional and what g f stf xxxh vs t be for vs glycerin g bc fj get
Maybe he meant that a lot of people think lab created diamonds are less prestigious? Lab created diamonds not being "real" diamonds is certainly a sentiment I've heard more than once.
Man I hate being around rich people.
wait, how are they worse?
They lack pedigree.
you lack pedigree
I mean:
Old Money can't stand the Nouveau Rock
That's what the Future Mrs Rhesus is wearing right now.
Only one person has asked if it's real, and she's an annoying person in general so it's what I was expecting. Everybody else has either been "Oooh, sparkly" or focussed on the actually important thing which is that we're getting married and it's going to be awesome.
On a happy note we had to do some diagnostics for maths, the teacher was talking to us like we were idiots because it's a lot of mature students who haven't been in education. Until my results said I was at degree level maths. Then they looked scared. Massive smug face over here.
Sure, you could have bought some rock that was dug out of the dirt in abominable conditions by what basically amounts to slaves, or you could get a precious stone that was forged in the image of a SPACE GEM by a high tech lab!
I got more pedigree than PetSmart and HHH combined
This isn't even a rich sentiment but yes this
So, this is something that I can super duper relate to from both sides, actually. If you want you can PM me and I'll tell you all about it, but at one point or another in my life I have been both of you, and sometimes both at once which is pretty much the opposite of any kind of fun in any way because when you're both at once there is no way to win that.
Yeah, you have to buy a diamond that was pulled from the Earth or else you are the very most terribad prospective husband ever, apparently. I'm glad my future wife is as cool as Mrs Rhesus Positive and doesn't go in for that malarkey.
I've asked why it matters and all I ever get is that it just matters to her
Which is fine but I just don't get it
Shit doesn't have to make sense.
Just get her the nicest diamond you can afford, sourced from a mine with a good reputation like Argyle, and go on with your other business.
I have a diamond and I still love it, but at this point in my life if the situation came up again I would choose something else.
No doubt
I aint mad but fuck deberes marketing
As long as he was alive, I could keep to the fiction that I might move out one day, but in the last few years, I knew that wasn't going to happen. My job sucks, and it doesn't look to improve and I live in a dead-end town in the South where the big local families keep out companies that might pay more than they're willing to pay to their own workers. If I'd stayed in education, I might actually make a decent wage at this time, but this job is going nowhere. And whenever anyone brings it up, they always turn it around like it's your own fault, so it causes confidence issues on more than one level.
BUt now I have to deal with my mom, and I've just been wanting to break down every day because of what happened with my dad, even though that was three weeks ago, and I can't because she keeps doing it and I have to be strong for her. I've fought my depression before, but I strongly feel the urge just to give in a let it go this time.
I'm 43, live with my parents, am broke all the time, and have done nothing with my life. My job isn't rewarding and I have no prospects. And there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of this tunnel.
Please deliver to PO BOX M12 345