How do I actually find a GOOD roommate?

Cultural Geek Girl

I've got a month to find a new roommate, and I want to do it right.

Due to some profoundly weird circumstances, my roommate ended up getting a new job and moving away on extremely short notice just a few months after we signed a new one-year lease (we have about nine months left, I think). She paid for an extra month (September) before she left, and if we end up having to break the lease she said she'd split the cost with me, but I'd rather find a roommate to fill her spot. I've been talking with a few people in my social network who might need a place, but so far nobody is a sure thing, and I might have to start looking outside that network pretty soon. Whenever I've had to look for roommates in the past, it's usually been a last-minute scramble where I had to take what I could get, but now I have a more flexible move-in range.

I live in south Orange County, California - not the most nerd-friendly place, but there are some tech/game companies around here. Ideally I'd end up rooming with a stable nerd who is relatively neat but OK with a little clutter, who likes either books, niche TV, or RPG-related video games, and who would be OK if I occasionally had guests or small drinks-and-board-games-style parties (I'd obviously be fine if they did the same, with notice).

I know about the various roommate-finder sites, but does anyone have experience that suggests any particular one is better? Any suggestions for places to search other than those sites or craigslist?

Quid

I think your best bet is going to be interviewing potential room mates. It's not a guarantee but it can help at least block the worst of the lot and help prospective room mates understand what you expect before signing the lease. I did this when I had an apartment to myself and it worked out relatively well until the end. And even then I at least came out ahead money wise.

But at the end of the day you're still going to be rolling the dice since you don't personally know these people.

Edit: Also, don't get hung up on their interests. Top priority should be that you get along, acknowledge each other's boundaries, and can keep the common space in what each other consider an acceptable state. It's cool if you have similar interests but nowhere nearly as important as those things.

The Ender

I'm tempted to say, "You don't,"

I've had a lot of roommates, and none of them - most definitely myself included - were ideal. At best, you stay out of each other's way, nobody's late on rent & there's no drama. I've literally never seen a situation better than that.

Conversely, I've seen / been through a lot of situations where at least one person drops the ball on one of those crucial things, and then it doesn't really matter what interests you share or how similar your politics are.


Interview people to make sure they can pay rent & are not outwardly crazy, then just hope like Hell that you can share the space without bumping heads.

As for where to look, I've heard of people having success on Craigslist before. Personally, I used to just tack-up postings outside the entrance at work whenever I needed either a roommate or needed to move in with new people (I figured it was better than classifieds because at least I know anyone who rung me up based on that posting also had a steady paycheck. It mostly kinda-sorta worked, I guess).

NotYou

I agree with the post above me quite a bit and because of that, I've begun to look for the sort of roommate that will spend the least amount of time at home or in the living area. The best roommate is the one you rarely see because you never have time to get on eachother's nerves. Look for someone with a steady full time job. Someone with a real career. Someone that loves the internet and spends most of his time looking at his computer in his room alone. Someone that doesn't have a significant other that will always be dropping by.

Don't look for a person to be friends and hang out with.

Cultural Geek Girl

Yeah, I already know the basics. I've had a few adequate roommates in the past - common areas kept decent, rent and utilities paid on time, etc. I was just seeing if anyone had some tips on how to do better than adequate, since I've never actually been anything beyond civil acquaintances with a roommate I found online.

I guess going through normal channels and interviewing multiple candidates is still my best bet.

The Ender

Cultural Geek Girl wrote: »

Yeah, I already know the basics. I've had a few adequate roommates in the past - common areas kept decent, rent and utilities paid on time, etc. I was just seeing if anyone had some tips on how to do better than adequate, since I've never actually been anything beyond civil acquaintances with a roommate I found online.

I guess going through normal channels and interviewing multiple candidates is still my best bet.

When I was just out of high school & first started looking for roommates, I was sincerely expecting to find the equivalent of this:





Unfortunately, as it turns out, TV is actually a horrible liar. No joke - it was a pretty rough day when I came to terms wit the fact that stumbling upon a close-knit community of people that love living together is pretty much a fantasy.

If you've already had adequate roommates, you've already experienced the best there is.

I kinda wish I'd figured that out for myself before doing so much apartment hopping years back.

azith28

Find an introvert. Problem mostly solved.