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I own my ex-mother's house with my sister : Halp plz
Dee Kae
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
And I am done. Done with that entirely. Can you imagine owning your deceased mother's house with your sibling? Don't do it. Do not even go there.
Here's an example of a problem I have to deal with. My sister brought in cats when she moved in. Now there's over 8 of them, perpetually reproducing, and she's told me I have to deal with them. Oh and two dogs. No, I didn't say she could do any of this but after my mom died I didn't care for absolutely anything for a good year or so.
I have no idea where to start in regards to ceasing the horrible thing I'm stuck in. I live with 4 people. Myself, my sister, and two other roommates. My sister has managed to piss off all of us, and has reached a point where she has no respect for anyone and I have no family to bring in to talk sense to this person.
What do I do? What in the world do I do here? I finally got my butt back in line and outta depression and all that and the only advice I've been given from the only other family member around is "Get your house to go to probate" and I have no idea what that means.
If anyone could just point me to a number, or website or anything or somewhere to sort out this horrible house I live I'd be in your debt.
Here's an example of a problem I have to deal with. My sister brought in cats when she moved in. Now there's over 8 of them, perpetually reproducing, and she's told me I have to deal with them. Oh and two dogs. No, I didn't say she could do any of this but after my mom died I didn't care for absolutely anything for a good year or so.
I have no idea where to start in regards to ceasing the horrible thing I'm stuck in. I live with 4 people. Myself, my sister, and two other roommates. My sister has managed to piss off all of us, and has reached a point where she has no respect for anyone and I have no family to bring in to talk sense to this person.
What do I do? What in the world do I do here? I finally got my butt back in line and outta depression and all that and the only advice I've been given from the only other family member around is "Get your house to go to probate" and I have no idea what that means.
If anyone could just point me to a number, or website or anything or somewhere to sort out this horrible house I live I'd be in your debt.
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2. Get some actual legal advice. A lawyer should be able to tell you what legal options you have to remedy the situation.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
hmmm
ok, knitdan is right
but on a completely separate thing, you probably shouldn't refer to your deceased mother as your ex-mother.
Realize the situation will probably be extremely ugly. As in one of you probably won't be living with each other and possibly no longer in touch at all.
That said, the biggest consideration you've got is how pissed and how willing you are to torch any relationship you may have with your sister.
You have a lot more options if you aren't concerned about being dead to her and never speaking to / dealing with her again. If you expect your relationship to improve at some point, you should still talk to a lawyer, but it really limits your legal options.
I assume you've talked to your sister about either selling the property and splitting the proceeds, or her buying out your portion of the property. An amicable solution like this would probably be best - you'll probably get less than you would like, but it's probably going to be more than if you have to go to court. If she's still not receptive, you can let her know you are going to talk to a lawyer about your legal options, and hope that maybe that will improve the situation (it probably won't).
In most cases, the courts are going to recommend you two arrive at an amicable solution - there are lots of options ranging from none of you living there and renting the property to other tenants to her living there and paying you a fair rate for rent, etc.
Document, document, document. Pictures of the mess you're having to deal with, receipts for things you need to fix, a journal / diary of your discussions and fights. Etc. Documentation never hurts - the worst case is it's not helpful.
Anyway though, if you go to court and still aren't able to get an amicable solution, eventually it's possible to win a partition lawsuit. In that case, the property would sell and you would split the proceeds. The details of this are really questions for a lawyer and a last resort.
But yeah...owning property with a sibling is a nightmare.
I think you need to take a step back and think before you do anything you will later regret. You say that you cared for nothing for more than a year and now you do and that there is a need for change and order and some sort of solution to the current mess. Now there is nothing wrong with wanting those things, but you make it sound like your sister is a problem to be fixed and not your sister.
My point is that just like you she may not have the best of times and that maybe you two could somehow sit down and maybe plan a way forward together. Now that way forward may not be one where you will live in the same House or anything, but my thinking is that for the both of yours sake you really should try more to find a way to work things out. Maybe one of the things you can do together is to ask a lawyer how to best handle things so they are fair for the both of you.
The same point is also valid with regards to the two others living in the house - provided the are not just guests that overstayed or something like that.
This is the only thing that should ever happen in split sibling ownership.
(Also, get a lawyer).
Once you have you should probably talk with a lawyer regardless.
2) sell house.
3) Split money.
4)Go elsewhere.
I would also advise against renting the property to your sister. There are families that are able to do that with no or minimal drama. Based on your current situation, it's likely that yours isn't one of them.
I learned that lesson the hard way, I now no longer speak to my brother and I'm out almost 20k.
― John Quincy Adams
As to the living situation if you cannot work it out, then the only thing that has worked for me is to dissolve the communal living situation (move out, or have them move out). If she doesn't want to change, or if you don't want to accept how she lives, then you're each just wasting time and effort trying to effect change in the other. So depending upon how the estate is to be handled, move out and sell and split, buy her out, or let her buy you out.
In an intractable emotional situation the best thing to do is to try to have all parties cleave to rationality.
Whoops on the ex-mother comment, but I'm so immune to anything regarding that it's ridiculous.
And I wouldn't mind never dealing with my sister ever again.
Apologies on my delayed response too.
I got a Monty Python vibe from the ex mother comment. But yea, lawyer up.
Do you have enough money to "lawyer up"? If your mother's house is worth $200k and is paid for or nearly paid for, then yes. If it is underwater (you owe more than it is worth) or nearly so, then you might be better off saying "It's yours, sis" and walking away. What's your situation like? And what does your sister actually *want* to do with it?