Don't bring up the short time in your cover letter. It sounds defensive. Just tell them how genuinely excited you are to work with them (because you are.) If they call you for interview, you will have to answer the question then, but no need to prematurely put doubts in their mind.
+4
PedroAsaniBrotherhood of the Squirrel[Prime]Registered Userregular
Don't say how the new job benefits your personal life. Say how you benefit them. When I read resumes I want to know how hiring you benefits the company. You're an adult, I expect you to take care of yourself. If I ask about the short time in the interview you can explain then.
Thank you for the replies, definitely gonna make some changes then!
Removed this from the letter, changed to this:
Please do not let my short time in (Current company) cause doubt on my ability to stick with a company. My main interest in working for (new company) comes from me seeking a better life-work balance which I cannot achieve in (Current company) due to the distance to the site, and from me being very interested in working with a smaller, more-focused company, for which I can feel passionate about, and that I know it deeply cares about its employees.
My work experience in Dell helped me find my passion in predictive analysis, which I have been able to greatly develop while working in (Current company), which I am confident will be a great asset when working for you.
Is that too short, is it good, or should I try to enrich that?
Like others have suggested, get rid of the stuff about your short time at your current company. You don't need it.
In general I wouldn't worry about a cover letter being too short. Nobody in HR has ever said "man I'd love to bring this person in for an interview but their cover letter didn't waste nearly as much time as the others did." The cover letter has two purposes: to get them to read your resume with an eye towards the stuff that makes you look good, and to get you an interview (in conjunction with the resume). From their point of view the cover letter has two purposes: tell them what they need to bother seeing on the resume and help them decide if they want to interview you. There's no minimum length. They just want whatever information they need.
Why would you even bring up current or previous employers in a cover letter? I wouldn't come close to mentioning the issues with your current employer at all during the application process and a reply to such an inquiry during the interview process would be "I'm looking for a position more local" or something elseelse about the new position that would excite you.
Here's the new draft, I think it's much better. Any additional feedback?
I am writing to express my interest in the available position of Sales Operations Business Analyst in (new company). I have gone through the job requirements and I am glad to state that they perfectly match my experience and technical expertise.
For the past 3 years I have been working in large international IT companies, where I have acquired important skills in working with and coordinating international teams, and at the same time gaining an understanding of how to conduct business in a global IT environment.
My work experience in Dell helped me find my passion in predictive analysis, which I have been able to greatly develop while working in (Current company), which I am confident will be a great asset when working for you.
I understand the current web's needs and trends, with the exponentially increasing source of revenue coming from video websites, such as Vimeo, Youtube and Twitch, I can see the huge importance of working in this market. I truly believe in (new companys)'s goals and this is extremely important for me when considering a job position.
I’m very confident with speaking and articulating my research and recommendations to top, middle and lower level management. I am result driven and orientated, focused, organized, dedicated and a leader. I believe that my experience paired with my enthusiasm to learn more about the industry coordinates with what you seek for. I am very eager to learn and understand what makes your organization special and I will stand firm to make it even better
You will find my resume included in my application, with full detail of my qualifications for this position. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
I personally would make it less about me and more about what I could do for the company. They are not interested in what a great guy you are or how much you like the idea of working in their company - they want to know how you can solve their problems. Don't just say you have gone through the job requirements, say how you match them.
You could cut the paragraph that starts "I’m very confident with speaking..." as it is just blather.
Manage Sales content management process and procedures along with sales and sales-related knowledge assets and resources. Coordinate with cross-functional groups on information sharing and collaboration initiatives that enable the sales team to make informed decisions.
Publish and maintain sales policies, procedures, and rules of engagement related to all aspects of Sales Operations including approval requirements, escalation processes, and compliance with standard guidelines.
Manage sales process training/documentation for new hire on boarding process and continual training of existing sales team.
Provide support and best practices to the Sales team relative to the Quote to Order process including quote configuration review and resolution, deal approval and escalation, e-signature and order processing.
Collaborate on auditing global customer data. Identify duplicate records utilizing various data mining tools. Automate data cleansing, de-duping, and related reporting whenever possible.
It's a company that focuses a lot on web video based revenue.
That's interesting, because I could have written your cover letter as it is a lot of general platitudes about business, but the actual job description is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I'd suspect that you need to indicate that you are "in the biz" by addressing their requirements in a way that only someone who knows what they are talking about can do. You want the person who reads it to think "This guy really knows what he is talking about! He can just walk into the job and be productive right away." Can you get examples of when you have done the uh, things, they are talking about in that posting?
It's pretty much the same thing I'm doing at my current job, which is reporting and analysis on sales data, to help the sales leaders know what to do next.
Here's the new new draft. @CelestialBadger, thank you so much for the help
I am writing to express my interest in the available position of Sales Operations Business Analyst in (new company). I have gone through the job requirements and I am glad to state that they perfectly match my experience and technical expertise.
My experience as a sales management advisor provides the required skills to collaborate with different teams across the world and best utilize assets to provide valuable insight for the sales teams. Having deployed standardized worldwide reports to streamline and automate our reporting process, ensures that I have the necessary skills to publish and maintain all sales processes that are required, always following the required standard guidelines. I have to monitor all data very closely, to guarantee we are presenting the most accurate information to date, and proper escalation or work is done when the need arises.
My previous work as a project administrator where I was responsible of maintaining 100+ projects in compliance, supporting each project manager, shows I have a deep understanding on maintaining project budgets, work orders, signed orders and work hour approvals for projects, all while adhering to company policies.
Both positions require careful documentation of all processes, for both policy compliance and support for all new hires and continual training.
You will find my resume included in my application, with full detail of my qualifications for this position. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Well I submitted it yesterday, and not two hours after, I get a "I wanted to get back to you regarding your resume. I reviewed your resume with the team and it doesn't look like it is going to be a perfect fit for what they are looking for today. However, your background is very strong and we would like to stay in touch with you for future opportunities."
Oh...
But I'm very thankful for the help anyways! I'll hang in a bit longer here and gain that experience.
Well I submitted it yesterday, and not two hours after, I get a "I wanted to get back to you regarding your resume. I reviewed your resume with the team and it doesn't look like it is going to be a perfect fit for what they are looking for today. However, your background is very strong and we would like to stay in touch with you for future opportunities."
Oh...
But I'm very thankful for the help anyways! I'll hang in a bit longer here and gain that experience.
Just stay in contact with the HR person, check their website periodically for new opportunities, since it sounds like they might have use for you in the future.
Yes, I sent a thank you email. It's a form email though, I got an exact email like that from them when I applied for a different position about 8 months ago.
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Removed this from the letter, changed to this:
Please do not let my short time in (Current company) cause doubt on my ability to stick with a company. My main interest in working for (new company) comes from me seeking a better life-work balance which I cannot achieve in (Current company) due to the distance to the site, and from me being very interested in working with a smaller, more-focused company, for which I can feel passionate about, and that I know it deeply cares about its employees.
My work experience in Dell helped me find my passion in predictive analysis, which I have been able to greatly develop while working in (Current company), which I am confident will be a great asset when working for you.
Is that too short, is it good, or should I try to enrich that?
In general I wouldn't worry about a cover letter being too short. Nobody in HR has ever said "man I'd love to bring this person in for an interview but their cover letter didn't waste nearly as much time as the others did." The cover letter has two purposes: to get them to read your resume with an eye towards the stuff that makes you look good, and to get you an interview (in conjunction with the resume). From their point of view the cover letter has two purposes: tell them what they need to bother seeing on the resume and help them decide if they want to interview you. There's no minimum length. They just want whatever information they need.
I personally would make it less about me and more about what I could do for the company. They are not interested in what a great guy you are or how much you like the idea of working in their company - they want to know how you can solve their problems. Don't just say you have gone through the job requirements, say how you match them.
You could cut the paragraph that starts "I’m very confident with speaking..." as it is just blather.
What does a Sales Operations Business Analyst do?
It's a company that focuses a lot on web video based revenue.
It's pretty much the same thing I'm doing at my current job, which is reporting and analysis on sales data, to help the sales leaders know what to do next.
Here's the new new draft. @CelestialBadger, thank you so much for the help
Well I submitted it yesterday, and not two hours after, I get a "I wanted to get back to you regarding your resume. I reviewed your resume with the team and it doesn't look like it is going to be a perfect fit for what they are looking for today. However, your background is very strong and we would like to stay in touch with you for future opportunities."
Oh...
But I'm very thankful for the help anyways! I'll hang in a bit longer here and gain that experience.
Just stay in contact with the HR person, check their website periodically for new opportunities, since it sounds like they might have use for you in the future.