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Unexpected breakup. Want to vent.
Sevorak
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Until last Saturday I was in a seven month relationship with a girl I met on okcupid. It was the longest relationship for both of us. I'm 29 and she's 27. Last Tuesday she brought up some issues that she wanted to talk about and we kinda had a "where are we going" discussion. Our life goals are somewhat different. She definitely wants kids, while I'm leaning towards it but not totally sure, for example. We talked about those big issues briefly on Tuesday and agreed to take a few days to think about them before talking about them over the weekend.
She came over Saturday morning and told me that she doesn't think that we have potential for the future and that I'm not a good fit for her. That I was the best boyfriend she's ever had and that the last seven months had been wonderful, but that she didn't see where it could go from here. That there were several things that bothered her about me that she had put it the back of her mind and our talk on Tuesday made her start thinking about all of them again. "Nothing is wrong, but it's not right," as she put it. I was completely blindsided and got pretty broken up. I told her that I wanted to try to work through these things together but she had made her decision. She left and I spent the rest of the day miserable with some friends that came over after I called to tell them.
The next day I went over to her place to get some stuff I left there and talk to her about it after I had a chance to gather my thoughts. I told her that I was angry that she would make this decision without trying to resolve our issues and that I wanted to at least try to work through them together and see if they were things that we could overcome, but she stood by her decision. On Monday I realized that she still had a DVD of mine so I texted her about it, which led to us having a two hour conversation over the phone. We got pretty frustrated and angry with each other, but left things on good terms. She said that she knows her decision was impulsive, but that's how she is. She was sorry that she didn't bring any of her issues up with me before making her decision, but that she doesn't see the point in trying to work through them.
I just don't understand how she could go from being perfectly happy to deciding to breakup over the span of a week after being together for seven months. Everyone I've talked to about it was stunned to hear about it. They said that we seemed so good and happy together and were so close that it didn't make any sense that she would just make a decision like that. I've cried every day since the breakup and think about her constantly. We used to spend at least two or three nights a week together and now my weeks feel so empty and lonely. When I get home all I want to do is tell her how my day went and hear about hers but I can't do that. I love her so much and keep hoping that today will be the day that she calls and says she made a mistake and that she wants to work through this. I don't really have any question or request for advice here, I've just been completely dumbfounded and beside myself since the breakup that I wanted to come vent to mostly anonymous internet strangers. Thanks for reading, I hope your life is going better than mine right now.
She came over Saturday morning and told me that she doesn't think that we have potential for the future and that I'm not a good fit for her. That I was the best boyfriend she's ever had and that the last seven months had been wonderful, but that she didn't see where it could go from here. That there were several things that bothered her about me that she had put it the back of her mind and our talk on Tuesday made her start thinking about all of them again. "Nothing is wrong, but it's not right," as she put it. I was completely blindsided and got pretty broken up. I told her that I wanted to try to work through these things together but she had made her decision. She left and I spent the rest of the day miserable with some friends that came over after I called to tell them.
The next day I went over to her place to get some stuff I left there and talk to her about it after I had a chance to gather my thoughts. I told her that I was angry that she would make this decision without trying to resolve our issues and that I wanted to at least try to work through them together and see if they were things that we could overcome, but she stood by her decision. On Monday I realized that she still had a DVD of mine so I texted her about it, which led to us having a two hour conversation over the phone. We got pretty frustrated and angry with each other, but left things on good terms. She said that she knows her decision was impulsive, but that's how she is. She was sorry that she didn't bring any of her issues up with me before making her decision, but that she doesn't see the point in trying to work through them.
I just don't understand how she could go from being perfectly happy to deciding to breakup over the span of a week after being together for seven months. Everyone I've talked to about it was stunned to hear about it. They said that we seemed so good and happy together and were so close that it didn't make any sense that she would just make a decision like that. I've cried every day since the breakup and think about her constantly. We used to spend at least two or three nights a week together and now my weeks feel so empty and lonely. When I get home all I want to do is tell her how my day went and hear about hers but I can't do that. I love her so much and keep hoping that today will be the day that she calls and says she made a mistake and that she wants to work through this. I don't really have any question or request for advice here, I've just been completely dumbfounded and beside myself since the breakup that I wanted to come vent to mostly anonymous internet strangers. Thanks for reading, I hope your life is going better than mine right now.
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Unfortunately, this isn't really a venting forum. You may be able to find an appropriate thread in SE++ though.