Okay, this is driving me nuts (does it count if you're already nuts?), so maybe you guys will have an idea or three for figuring out what's going on. I'm not really sure what advice I want here, I guess I just want to unload and let someone not in my head have a look at it and say what they think.
For the last few months, I occassionally spot something black and largish (at least mouse sized) moving around in my kitchen. But I can't seem to get a good look at it. The first time I ran across it, I walked in towards my bathroom, see something big and black moving suddenly from my stove down the rack thing beside it and presumably behind it. I freaked the fuck out, since I have a phobia of bugs and my first irrational thought was some monstrous insect from hell, called a friend over from next door. We couldn't find anything.
Since then, I occasionally catch a glimpse--something streaking from the cabinet to the fridge, between the fridge and stove, etc. Seems closer to rat sized and narrow, but that could be say a mouse moving fast. Even when I should get a very clear view of the thing, like that first time by the stove, I can't resolve any detail other than 'black and fast moving'.
Now we get into the weird bit. I've laid down traps in places the thing MUST move through to get where I see it. Nothing. Also no droppings, dribblings, chewed up stuff, etc. Haven't had bugs in here since I sprayed some good poison, so it's not likely to be me catching a glimpse of a huge roach or whatever either--and this thing moves faster than I've seen any roach ever move anyway. I actually thought the most likely answer for a while might be a skink, but then I let my apartment get goofy cold for a while--still showed up.
Now, I'm bipolar. And for me, occasionally that means peripheral illusions--thinking a stationary dot at the corner of my eye is scurrying away, stuff like that. And I still
haven't got a good look at it, one beyond a vague impression. Or any physical evidence beyond my untrustworthy, useless eyes. Today I spotted it again, rushed to where it HAD to be (under the fridge, no escape route) with a flashlight, and couldn't find shit.
So I'm left wondering if I'm seeing a living creature in my home at all, or if this is just peripheral illusions combining with my impression that 'I have something alive in my kitchen' to drive me madder than ever.
I guess I'm wondering what other people think. Should there definitely be physical evidence if I have a mouse or something? Is there something else it could be, something that wouldn't set off well-baited and positioned traps?
If this is in my head, should I be worried or relieved?