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Sexual errors.
Drez
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, let's talk about the really stupid shit we'd done during sex.
I guess the worst thing I've ever done was forget the girl's name. Boring, I know. Okay, you go.
I guess the worst thing I've ever done was forget the girl's name. Boring, I know. Okay, you go.
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Boy was my face red.
i was given it to this gal
and in our rollin' about and changing positions a sheet had gotten wrapped around her one knee pretty tight
and i was apparently kneeling on that sheet as i was going
she had injured this knee in high school playing basketball. i did not know about this, but apparently she had a longstanding soft tissue injury and so it was pretty sensitive
so we're going, and she just starts howling
i think i'm doing pretty god damn good, right, i mean she's flailing and screaming
but after like three seconds i realize that's not the good kind of screaming and flailing
her knee had been dislocated
she popped it back in herself and spent the next hour with ice on her knee
she felt bad though, even though it was kinda my fault
finished me off still
what a trooper she was.
it was actually kinda tricky for me to get it back up, i felt bad about getting a hummer from a chick who's knee i had just dislocated
but, she was determined
i was pretty fond of her
too bad she got a real boyfriend and he's a big jerk
off the bed.
onto the floor.
dislocating my shoulder.
I get back on the bed and go right back to it. we both cum, she uncuffs me and I reset it on the door.
That is both a horrible mistake..... and a fucking triumph on the same day.
man that doesn't even register, everyone's done that
i used incorrect grammar while having sex! i mean, i kept on banging them, but deep down inside i was hurting.
Good times.
I could walk just fine until I was 24 or so.
stale beat me
Stale when did you say you were still in georgia until?
she didn't say anything till we went to change positions and she's like "uh, you should probably wash yourself off first"
I was like "uh why?"
she explains I had just been fucking her ass for the past five minutes
she thought that's what I intended to do and she was cool with it
I don't believe that for a second.
You obviously have good grammar you fucking liar. You just made that grammar shit up so you'd have a story to tell.
Few minutes later her pants are off and I'm going down on like the Titanic.
Guess I was a bit overzealous, because I popped her cherry.
I would have never guessed, but she pointed out that there was something on my chin.
At first i freaked out and thought she had her period, but she had gotten over it the week before.
I went to the bathroom to spit up the pulverized hymen and that's when things got funny.
I looked like a little kid who had just eaten 2 dozen buffalo wings with extra sauce.
I spit up straight blood.
It killed the moment for a while. But she finished me off an hour or so later.
I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, but then again, she wasn't supposed to be such a whore.
I mean, it can't have been particularly great, if you were paying enough attention to the movie to laugh at it.
good story fo shizzle
I don't believe it
Wait, there's a hole involved?
it was distracting both of us and we had to turn it off
it is somewhat like gahmorious' story except instead of it being upsetting and embarassing it was cute and funny because we were both still laughing at the movie
Haha yeah, I shoulda just told her then... Stupid whore..
Man i see this turning into "lets talk about how they all turned into stupid cheating sluts" thread. Lawlz
The first time I went down on my boyfriend, I started gagging and making very loud gagging sounds. He sits up to see if I'm okay, and I pull myself off of him and elbow him right in the goddamned eye.