Sexual errors.

DrezDrez Registered User regular
edited April 2007 in Social Entropy++
So, let's talk about the really stupid shit we'd done during sex.

I guess the worst thing I've ever done was forget the girl's name. Boring, I know. Okay, you go.

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Posts

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I can't post in hear some of you meet my fiancee on occasion

    Weaver on
  • Dave The RaveDave The Rave Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I ate my last girlfriends virginity.


    Boy was my face red.

    Dave The Rave on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    VENOSAUR

    Kovak on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    i can't post here because i am a sex god and i have never made any sort of sexual error

    potatoe on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I lost my erection when I thought about this thread.

    Captain K on
  • ravmravm Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    olive oil doesn't really make a good lubricant, but when you're drunk it seems logical.

    ravm on
  • ravmravm Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    then again, Captain K probably thought that that avatar was pretty cool at one point,

    ravm on
  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    HurrJapan.jpg

    QuestionMarkMan on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    whoa man what's up with this random hostility

    Captain K on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    this one time

    i was given it to this gal

    and in our rollin' about and changing positions a sheet had gotten wrapped around her one knee pretty tight

    and i was apparently kneeling on that sheet as i was going

    she had injured this knee in high school playing basketball. i did not know about this, but apparently she had a longstanding soft tissue injury and so it was pretty sensitive

    so we're going, and she just starts howling

    i think i'm doing pretty god damn good, right, i mean she's flailing and screaming

    but after like three seconds i realize that's not the good kind of screaming and flailing

    her knee had been dislocated

    she popped it back in herself and spent the next hour with ice on her knee

    she felt bad though, even though it was kinda my fault

    finished me off still

    what a trooper she was.

    Pony on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    and wait a minute, who the hell is ravm

    Captain K on
  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    WE ARE VENOM

    DrIanMalcolm on
  • jackaljackal Fuck Yes. That is an orderly anal warehouse. Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Southern trespass.

    jackal on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    You got ice on your knee, lady. I don't see no ice in your mouth.

    Captain K on
  • spudmasterspudmaster Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    farted while she went down on me.

    spudmaster on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Captain K wrote: »
    You got ice on your knee, lady. I don't see no ice in your mouth.

    it was actually kinda tricky for me to get it back up, i felt bad about getting a hummer from a chick who's knee i had just dislocated

    but, she was determined

    i was pretty fond of her

    too bad she got a real boyfriend and he's a big jerk

    Pony on
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2007
    i had sex with my sister once by accident

    Drano on
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    having sex with my hands cuffed behind me, and I loose my balance while doggystyle.

    off the bed.

    onto the floor.

    dislocating my shoulder.

    I get back on the bed and go right back to it. we both cum, she uncuffs me and I reset it on the door.



    That is both a horrible mistake..... and a fucking triumph on the same day.

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    spudmaster wrote: »
    farted while she went down on me.

    man that doesn't even register, everyone's done that

    Captain K on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited April 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    so i was doing these three super hot swedish swimsuit models at the same time, i mean really giving them a good deep dicking. while i was banging them, they were all like "oh reggie, you are such a studly man", and i said "i know babies, i is a studly man"

    i used incorrect grammar while having sex! i mean, i kept on banging them, but deep down inside i was hurting.

    Reginald on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    I was having sex while Bruce Almighty was playing in the background. The scene where Steve Carell's hair caught on fire was playing, and I started laughing histarically. I lost my erection, got slapped by the girl, and she walked out on me. She went to her car and proceded to cry for an hour because she thought I was laughing at how bad the sex was.

    Good times.

    Gahmrious on
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Dude you can't even walk how did that happen

    I could walk just fine until I was 24 or so.

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    tfs there was a time before stale was a fullon mccrippendale

    stale beat me


    Stale when did you say you were still in georgia until?

    Kovak on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    when i was like 15, i wrongholed a chick

    she didn't say anything till we went to change positions and she's like "uh, you should probably wash yourself off first"

    I was like "uh why?"

    she explains I had just been fucking her ass for the past five minutes

    she thought that's what I intended to do and she was cool with it

    Pony on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited April 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Man

    DrIanMalcolm on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Reginald wrote: »
    so i was doing these three super hot swedish swimsuit models at the same time, i mean really giving them a good deep dicking. while i was banging them, they were all like "oh reggie, you are such a studly man", and i said "i know babies, i is a studly man"

    i used incorrect grammar while having sex! i mean, i kept on banging them, but deep down inside i was hurting.

    I don't believe that for a second.

    You obviously have good grammar you fucking liar. You just made that grammar shit up so you'd have a story to tell.

    Drez on
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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    stale has lived so many lives it is frightening

    potatoe on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    There are few things less romantic on your first time then having to yell "WRONG HOLE! WRONG HOLE!"

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Dave The RaveDave The Rave Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    She was going away for while and we are just hanging out and I'm not expect much of anything.
    Few minutes later her pants are off and I'm going down on like the Titanic.
    Guess I was a bit overzealous, because I popped her cherry.
    I would have never guessed, but she pointed out that there was something on my chin.
    At first i freaked out and thought she had her period, but she had gotten over it the week before.
    I went to the bathroom to spit up the pulverized hymen and that's when things got funny.
    I looked like a little kid who had just eaten 2 dozen buffalo wings with extra sauce.
    I spit up straight blood.
    It killed the moment for a while. But she finished me off an hour or so later.

    I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, but then again, she wasn't supposed to be such a whore.

    Dave The Rave on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Gahmrious wrote: »
    I was having sex while Bruce Almighty was playing in the background. The scene where Steve Carell's hair caught on fire was playing, and I started laughing histarically. I lost my erection, got slapped by the girl, and she walked out on me. She went to her car and proceded to cry for an hour because she thought I was laughing at how bad the sex was.

    Good times.

    I mean, it can't have been particularly great, if you were paying enough attention to the movie to laugh at it.



    good story fo shizzle

    Captain K on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    There are few things less romantic on your first time then having to yell "WRONG HOLE! WRONG HOLE!"

    I don't believe it

    Captain K on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited April 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Captain K wrote: »
    There are few things less romantic on your first time then having to yell "WRONG HOLE! WRONG HOLE!"

    I don't believe it

    Wait, there's a hole involved?

    Drez on
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  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    i have had sex while shaun of the dead was playing in the background

    it was distracting both of us and we had to turn it off

    it is somewhat like gahmorious' story except instead of it being upsetting and embarassing it was cute and funny because we were both still laughing at the movie

    Pony on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Captain K wrote: »
    Gahmrious wrote: »
    I was having sex while Bruce Almighty was playing in the background. The scene where Steve Carell's hair caught on fire was playing, and I started laughing histarically. I lost my erection, got slapped by the girl, and she walked out on me. She went to her car and proceded to cry for an hour because she thought I was laughing at how bad the sex was.

    Good times.

    I mean, it can't have been particularly great, if you were paying enough attention to the movie to laugh at it.



    good story fo shizzle

    Haha yeah, I shoulda just told her then... Stupid whore..

    Man i see this turning into "lets talk about how they all turned into stupid cheating sluts" thread. Lawlz

    Gahmrious on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited April 2007
    itt I tell the times I sucked dick okay

    First time, it was the eighth grade dance afterparty type thing at somebody's house. No parents, so naturally, we were all drinking

    I am drunk to the point where I am stammering in both speech and movement, and then a guy friend of mine walks up to me and blatantly asks "HEY CHRIS WANT TO SUCK MY DICK"

    I obliged, apparently, because all I can remember is waking up with the taste of sperm in my mouth and a deep sense of shame

    The first time I went down on my boyfriend, I started gagging and making very loud gagging sounds. He sits up to see if I'm okay, and I pull myself off of him and elbow him right in the goddamned eye.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    No TFS nooooooooooooooooooo

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    jesus, eighth grade

    QuestionMarkMan on
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