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On Trading Hardships

JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D TattooRegistered User regular
So, a couple know parts of this story, and all has been put to rest from the matter, but I wanted to talk about this in a public space in the hopes to firstly bring light to what I think some people may have at one point struggled with, and to secondly openly apologize to all of those who I had been avoiding. I'm gonna try to keep this as short and undramatic as possible, but I think a good lesson can be learned and shared, and I've gotten enough distance from it to talk about it.

The last few months of my life haven't been very good emotionally for me. Starting in September, I had a series of financial setbacks and personal losses that - frankly - made going about my daily business difficult. I have a lot of mental stuff that I deal with (anxiety and depression), and so I began sliding into what was essentially a massive depressive state.

Pins have always been a reprieve for me. I got into trading because I loved the people and the stories, and that thrill of the hunt. And I loved the sense of fulfillment it gave me. It was this little thing that I could control in the world and organize, and it kept me anchored. But by September, after Prime's exhausting pin quest and after getting a full collection for myself, I sort of began questioning whether I should keep doing this.

Before Prime, I had promised to get several people pins, @Chubby Bunny and @pureval being two of them. I tried my best to get him as many of the pins at Prime as I could, but due to the bulk of them, I fell short just a little bit. Being the depressive and out of quite a bit of money, it was then strange when I won a trip to PAX Aus and was suddenly able to go down and get the pins there. If I hadn't won that trip, and hadn't had a lot of help from some family members, I don't think I could have gone down there. But I made it, and it was a blast.

So, it's October now, and I've promised @TheAggroCraig to get him Aus pins. And I go, and I have a great time, and then I come back home and everything falls apart even more for me. My credit card got stolen, a lot of medical expenses piled up. It's all boring stuff, but the gist of it is that at that time, I wasn't even thinking about pins. I was just trying to tread water.

December came, and things kept getting worse, and I kept not sending Chubby and pureval and Craig their pins. I got on the forums less and less. I tried distancing myself, because if I did log on and show myself, they'd know I was a failure, and if I didn't log on, maybe I could scrape together money and get them the pins soon. But things kept spiraling, and I kept playing this weird mind-game of ignoring the problem while trying to fix others, and not communicating with them at all. And for that, I am very sorry.

By January, things got a bit more stable in my life, and mentally I was in a proper place again after some help. Getting together what spare cash I'd saved, I finally sent off the pins (except for Bunny's, cus it's better to give pins in bulk straight to the person than risk them being lost as @Fitzchivalry and I once had a fun time with). So I sent off the pins... but I still didn't say anything to pure or Craig.

Finally, @PedroAsani contacted me. We talked, I told him some of the troubles I was having, and he helped get in touch and confirm that my trading partners were going to get their stuff. In the end, it all worked out.

I don't really have a thesis for all of this. Partly, just putting it here is a form of catharsis for me, and part of the least I can do to apologize for ignoring pin-trading for so long. But really, I think what can be gained from all of this is that... this is a good community. We have a lot of really good people here. They're kind, and they understand hardships. I think a lot of us may go through similar mental stuff, and may have at some points just been overwhelmed with trading. And that's okay.

Because we can reach out and ask for help. Pedro and pure were understanding, and really helpful. I'm certainly not saying to just be lazy with trades, and to not send. But if you're having troubles, the people on this forum are here for you. Part of what I loved seeing as South was all the great and new enthusiasm people had for Pinny Arcade. I got to help one guy get his Kitten Kemper, and sort of moderate the trade. I gave out some fodder pins for new enthusiasts to build their set with. It felt good, and the energy was really good.

I think, sometimes, some of us might get into our heads a bit about other people. And money can be a big issue. But if you have a problem with your trading, the real world comes first. And we all know that.

I don't know what anyone else is going through, or if anyone else has been through something like this. I just think that going forward, I'll be less afraid to be open about my problems I have. Less afraid that I'll get ostracized from the community. In the end, we all sort of want each other to succeed. Seeing someone get their set finally and get a trade they really wanted is not only rewarding for them, but for us to see. It's a good emotional thing.

Sorry for rambling, and for the long read. I just want to say again that I'm super appreciative of all who were involved in my strange little debacle, and that I'm back on my feet now. This is a great community; don't be afraid to reach out. :)

purevalrentfnpvp_pandafishfishmonkeyhatCapt WasabiCowpuppy00Fayt00evil santasudopoopFitzchivalrysirmrej
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Posts

  • dchoydchoy OregonRegistered User regular
    Great story @juicesir. Glad everything worked out in the end and everything got straightened out. With that said, I think you make some really valid points about the pinny arcade community. Although I haven't met any of you in real life, I have had a lot of good experiences with people on PinnyPals and on the forums. It's fun trading pins and working out deals so both sides are happy. I am aiming to attend some of the gatherings at Prime as long as I don't get too nervous meeting all you awesome people.

    I think what needs to be stressed is that these Pinny Pals have your back. We all might be a bit pinsane in the membrane but I think everyone cares more about what's important. I think if you just explained your situation then your group would have been totally fine with it. I think most people would say that a persons health is way more important than a hobby. Obviously you get that now and I am glad you are sharing your own experiences and opening up to others that everyone is here to help one another out.

    PAX Prime attendee since 2008.

    Another year of Prime gone by... commence the struggle!

    https://www.pinnypals.com/pals/dchoy
    JuicesirfishfishmonkeyhatCapt Wasabi
  • Sammy.SamSammy.Sam Registered User regular
    So sorry for the hardships you've endured. Glad to hear things are better & you're in a good space to share them.

    I agree that this is a warm & welcoming community of understanding folks.

    Juicesirfishfishmonkeyhat
  • fishfishmonkeyhatfishfishmonkeyhat Freelance Pin Man Newcastle, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Glad to hear you're doing better now.

  • SennoSenno AustraliaRegistered User regular
    I am sorry to hear about your issues. And it's nice that you are able to speak openly about it - it is quite cathartic, I am sure. This will also hopefully provide a fuller picture to those with whom you were trading, and hopefully give them a greater understanding about the time it took.

    Your story brings to light that hardship doesn't necessarily have to be faced alone and that there is a pin trading community who won't judge. I can only hope it's gets better for you moving forward.

  • Jake CappsJake Capps San Antonio, Texas(Lackland AFB)Registered User regular
    How did you win a trip to AUS?

    X4hAlPn.png

    My Pinny Pal's Lanyard

    "Players are artists who create their own reality within the game." - Shigeru Miyamoto
  • PedroAsaniPedroAsani Brotherhood of the Squirrel [Prime]Registered User regular
    When things start getting on top of you, it's a natural reaction to shut down and become very insular, when the exact opposite is usually required to improve the situation. Asking for help is hard, and your misfiring chemical skull-bag makes it almost impossible. Best thing you can do is talk to people, and in a group like this I can pretty much guarantee you'll find someone with a similar experience.

    Capt WasabiJuicesirmisskass
  • HingoHingo Minneapolis, MNRegistered User regular
    PedroAsani wrote: »
    your misfiring chemical skull-bag

    That guy can be a right dick sometimes. And when he is being a dick, logic doesn't work, which makes it worse. Usually it's a friend or family member telling you that your brain is just being stupid to get you to realize it faster. Glad to hear all is well, @Juicesir.

    Pins for trade!
    2015 PAX Prime Omeganaut (I will forever hate Katamari)
    fishfishmonkeyhat
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    Jake Capps wrote: »
    How did you win a trip to AUS?

    There was a thing Facebook, and I wrote in a short survey they asked me to fill out. Bim bam boom: I went to the land of Aus.

    Yeah, I didn't believe it at first either.

    00Fayt00Jake Capps
  • dchoydchoy OregonRegistered User regular
    Juicesir wrote: »
    Jake Capps wrote: »
    How did you win a trip to AUS?

    There was a thing Facebook, and I wrote in a short survey they asked me to fill out. Bim bam boom: I went to the land of Aus.

    Yeah, I didn't believe it at first either.

    Did you meet the wizard of Aus?

    PAX Prime attendee since 2008.

    Another year of Prime gone by... commence the struggle!

    https://www.pinnypals.com/pals/dchoy
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    dchoy wrote: »
    Juicesir wrote: »
    Jake Capps wrote: »
    How did you win a trip to AUS?

    There was a thing Facebook, and I wrote in a short survey they asked me to fill out. Bim bam boom: I went to the land of Aus.

    Yeah, I didn't believe it at first either.

    Did you meet the wizard of Aus?

    Does @Manic2k FISHFISHMONKEYHAT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL count?

    Juicesir on
    dchoyfishfishmonkeyhat00Fayt00
  • fishfishmonkeyhatfishfishmonkeyhat Freelance Pin Man Newcastle, AustraliaRegistered User regular
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    Ahem what? I haven't a clue what you're talking about, oh Miraculous One.

  • fishfishmonkeyhatfishfishmonkeyhat Freelance Pin Man Newcastle, AustraliaRegistered User regular
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    IoATjeL.jpg

    Aaaaand found my new phone background. ^_^

    fishfishmonkeyhat
  • FitzchivalryFitzchivalry PAXAUS Cookie Brigade Coordinator Orrstrahleeeeah mate!Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    SWEET JESUS I NEARLY CHOKED ON MY COFFEE.

    Warn us when NSFW pics are posted ! ;)

    And on a more serious note Juice - we all have baggage, thats why we fit together so well as a community.

    The pin traders are an extension of PAX itself - and I think the banner outside PAXAUS sums it up nicely that we're all in the same boat- "Welcome Home".

    Fitzchivalry on
    JuicesirsudopoopFrostbytefishfishmonkeyhat
  • sennohkisennohki Hobart, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    I agree, Fitz.
    every time I see that banner, I almost tear up..
    oh boy.. I might have something in my eye now, pardon me.

  • evil santaevil santa To infinity...and beyond!Registered User regular
    A little bit more length on that facial hair and we'd have a bonafide wizard for sure

    Pinny Pals Profile

    “I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.”
  • AyefkayAyefkay Queensland, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    I was thinking more Doc. Brown..... Does that make me Marty? I have the Delorean it just doesnt th ime travel... No fluxx capacitor etc

    My PinnyPals Digital Lanyard: Now Up to date! https://pinnypals.com/pals/Ayefkay

    8fuuo_RK.png
    agentcooper
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    I'll be your Marty. I've got the tremors and the brown hair for it. ^_^

  • AyefkayAyefkay Queensland, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Nuh uh im more disabled so Im marty!

    Ayefkay on
    My PinnyPals Digital Lanyard: Now Up to date! https://pinnypals.com/pals/Ayefkay

    8fuuo_RK.png
  • JuicesirJuicesir The Boy with the D&D Tattoo Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Fine, then I've got dibs on Morty. ^_^ Who wants to be my Rick?

    Juicesir on
  • AyefkayAyefkay Queensland, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2015
    I reckon fish could double as both doctors, the looks of one with the personality and alcoholism of the other

    Ayefkay on
    My PinnyPals Digital Lanyard: Now Up to date! https://pinnypals.com/pals/Ayefkay

    8fuuo_RK.png
    fishfishmonkeyhat
  • fishfishmonkeyhatfishfishmonkeyhat Freelance Pin Man Newcastle, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Ayefkay wrote: »
    I was thinking more Doc. Brown..... Does that make me Marty? I have the Delorean it just doesnt th ime travel... No fluxx capacitor etc

    I got Doc the most when I had long hair. Although this is what the pic looked like before I cropped it:

    eUPyQc7m.jpg

    DuckieAyefkayFitzchivalryJuicesir
  • agentcooperagentcooper Brisbane, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Ayefkay wrote: »
    I was thinking more Doc. Brown..... Does that make me Marty? I have the Delorean it just doesnt th ime travel... No fluxx capacitor etc

    Agreed, though I was also tempted by the Bob from Twin Peaks resemblance.

    Let's trade: https://www.pinnypals.com/pals/agentcooper
    "Damn fine pins!"
  • dmosineedmosinee Davenport, IARegistered User regular
    Ayefkay wrote: »
    I have the Delorean

    Do you really have a Delorean? I've seen a handful of them in bigger cities in my life, but they are still very very rare around here.

    Digital Lanyard, I love trades - https://www.pinnypals.com/pals/dmosinee
    http://pinmash.info - Two pins enter, one pins leaves... then the other pin leaves with a lower Elo rating
  • AyefkayAyefkay Queensland, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    dmosinee wrote: »
    Ayefkay wrote: »
    I have the Delorean

    Do you really have a Delorean? I've seen a handful of them in bigger cities in my life, but they are still very very rare around here.

    No i meant my wheelchair. Its practically identical only it doesnt reach remotely close to 88mph or is able to time travel.

    My PinnyPals Digital Lanyard: Now Up to date! https://pinnypals.com/pals/Ayefkay

    8fuuo_RK.png
    Capt WasabiFrostbyte
  • 00Fayt0000Fayt00 Registered User regular
    As this seemed like a appropriate place to put this, I guess I'll say this in short. Many of the people who came to South know just how much I am in debt. Between my new job last year, and my goal to go to all PAX's at least once, I have dug myself in pretty deep. Since this is the case, and because I am about as hardcore as they come, I have decided to sell my full set and move to an enthusiast level. I'm sure it will get posted at some point, but the full set that is now listed on Ebay is mine. Selling it will put a dent into what I'm attempting to pay off at least, and without it I can focus on being less hardcore in the hobby(I can't be hardcore if I don't have a full set to keep up. ;) ).

    Anyways, as I knew it would get brought up eventually...I just thought I'd come out and post something about it. I figure my goal last year was to go to Every PAX, my goal this year is to hopefully get out of debt, even if that means selling my collection to do it.

    (And no @fishfishmonkeyhat , I'm not putting the Misprints with the collection. ;)

  • AyefkayAyefkay Queensland, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Damn, fayt :( Really sorry to hear this, i didnt realise your troubles were that bad. I hope selling your pins helps you out and you still stick aroun.

    My PinnyPals Digital Lanyard: Now Up to date! https://pinnypals.com/pals/Ayefkay

    8fuuo_RK.png
  • rentfnrentfn Registered User regular
    Being in debt really sucks, good luck sir, I hope you are able to get out of it. And if you ever want to trade a AUS '13 sets for a lot of fodder let me know ;)

  • 00Fayt0000Fayt00 Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Thanks Ayefkay. I have talked to a few community members about it, and I think I'm going sell all but 100 of my pins. That would leave me enough for my scarf.

    I really don't want to have to sell anything... I love my huge collection... But I HAVE to start paying things off. :/

    00Fayt00 on
  • sarysary 100% pure awesomesauce manchester, nhRegistered User regular
    @juicesir reach out more, omegas <3 you. (even when i'm sad you didn't see me at south and instead just sent a Ys-gram :P)

    Twitter: @seryseraphical

    PAX East 2012 Omeganaut. Awesomest. Time. Ever.
    Juicesir
  • maywestmaywest Registered User regular
    00Fayt00 wrote: »
    Thanks Ayefkay. I have talked to a few community members about it, and I think I'm going sell all but 100 of my pins. That would leave me enough for my scarf.

    I really don't want to have to sell anything... I love my huge collection... But I HAVE to start paying things off. :/

    I'm sure this was a tough decision, but I am proud of you! I hope you get a good amount for the collection (you might get more if you break it up, you know). Good luck!

  • 00Fayt0000Fayt00 Registered User regular
    I would break it up, but the problem is that with ebay costs, PayPal costs and shipping it comes out way too much.

    Even if the set sells at the starting price about 900ish of that will be going towards those fees.:/

  • fishfishmonkeyhatfishfishmonkeyhat Freelance Pin Man Newcastle, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Oh that's terrible to hear man what do you want for the misprints?

    :P

    No but that sucks. Good luck.

  • maywestmaywest Registered User regular
    00Fayt00 wrote: »
    I would break it up, but the problem is that with ebay costs, PayPal costs and shipping it comes out way too much.

    Even if the set sells at the starting price about 900ish of that will be going towards those fees.:/

    I always forget about the fees ... and Yeah, those fees add up really fast ... eBay kind of hides how they charge them. I hate getting the bill a month after I receive the money. I wish they would just take the fees out when you get paid! I've yet to really figure out how much it has cost me to sell on their site.

  • 00Fayt0000Fayt00 Registered User regular
    It cost 10% and then PayPal takes about 3% I think.

  • FitzchivalryFitzchivalry PAXAUS Cookie Brigade Coordinator Orrstrahleeeeah mate!Registered User regular
    Paypal is going up another .3 or something - got an email last night.

    And a warning to you never switch your location / currency in Ebay...for the last 6 years I get a monthly email with my "bill" and its for GBP -1.40 ...which Ebay is unable to convert / transfer / adjust..it just sits there forever :/

  • zealezeale Saint LouisRegistered User regular
    @00Fayt00 my STL buddy, I'm sorry you're having to sell off that set, but at least you are doing it for a good reason. It's also good that you're keeping a good amount for yourself (more than my collection!), so I bet you'll be able to rebuild in no time!

    dgiab0m7h15x.png

  • NopeNope Frankfort, KYRegistered User regular
    edited February 2015
    Sent trade to @Senno but I get the distinct feeling USPS lost it, I already got mine and he still hasn't gotten his in Australia...suuuuucks. Will have to figure out a way to send something there and get tracking on it.

    Sucks I gotta lose a set of PAX South tho.

    Nope on
  • dmosineedmosinee Davenport, IARegistered User regular
    Nope wrote: »
    Sent trade to @Senno but I get the distinct feeling USPS lost it, I already got mine and he still hasn't gotten his in Australia...suuuuucks. Will have to figure out a way to send something there and get tracking on it.

    When did you send it, and what type of shipping was it?

    Sometimes shipments to the moon get stuck in customs for as long as a week -- so it might still be OK. Depending on how you sent it, you may also have a tracking number without realizing it. Do you have the customs number from the sheet you had to fill out? It will look something like "LZ447913620US" and when shipping to Australia and Canada, it can be used to track any scans on the package.

    Digital Lanyard, I love trades - https://www.pinnypals.com/pals/dmosinee
    http://pinmash.info - Two pins enter, one pins leaves... then the other pin leaves with a lower Elo rating
    00Fayt00
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