Penny Arcade Forums› Help / Advice Forum
The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.

Enter the 9 Year Old Ninja

RiboflavinRiboflavin Registered User regular
in Help / Advice Forum
When I was a kid I loved watching "Black Belt Theatre" with my dad. It had a movie each Sunday with all the over the top Kung FU and words that didn't match mouths. I'd like to watch some of this with my son as bonding and I started looking and realized there are a ton of terrible ones out there.

For an example of what flavor of cheese I'm looking for: I remember one where the villain would punch you and you'd die after a certain number of steps and the hero survived because he took one step less than that and was healed by a shaman. I remember one where the villain could only be hurt when he was punched in a certain spot and he could move it around.

What are some good "over the top" Kung Fu movies I can safely watch with a 9 year old? Preferably set in the past. Preferably High Cheese factor.

Posts

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Kung Pow! It's a parody though.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User, Moderator, Administrator admin
    The movie you are referring to is probably Clan of the White Lotus/Fist of the White Lotus (the 100 step death punch). It could also be Executioners from Shaolin (less likely).

    Really, what you want is the complete list of Shaw Brothers movies:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Shaw_Brothers_films

    I used to watch these movies all the time during Kung Fu June on the USA Network. Good times.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • djmitchelladjmitchella Registered User regular
    Kung Fu Hustle is pretty ridiculous and lots of fun, and the whole _point_ of it is the sort of cheesy martial arts that you're describing, just turned up to 11.

  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Shaolin Soccer is also extremely absurd in its Kung fu hilarity. Done by the same guy as Kung Fu Hustle. The bad guys in Shaolin Soccer are literally called Team Evil which should tell you a lot about how the rest of the movie plays out.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Shaolin Soccer is also extremely absurd in its Kung fu hilarity. Done by the same guy as Kung Fu Hustle. The bad guys in Shaolin Soccer are literally called Team Evil which should tell you a lot about how the rest of the movie plays out.

    Oh man I love that movie.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • EclecticGrooveEclecticGroove Registered User regular
    Chinese Super Ninja's is awesome. As is the 5 Deadly Venoms, the flying guillotine, crippled avengers, etc. The Shaw brothers movies (as mentioned above) are a great place to start.
    Jet Li had some good ones in his earlier career as well, Same with Jackie Chan.

  • Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User, Moderator, Administrator admin
    djmitchella wrote: »
    Kung Fu Hustle is pretty ridiculous and lots of fun, and the whole _point_ of it is the sort of cheesy martial arts that you're describing, just turned up to 11.
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Shaolin Soccer is also extremely absurd in its Kung fu hilarity. Done by the same guy as Kung Fu Hustle. The bad guys in Shaolin Soccer are literally called Team Evil which should tell you a lot about how the rest of the movie plays out.

    YES. These movies. Start here. They are the best.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • TechnicalityTechnicality Registered User regular
    EclecticGroove wrote: »
    Chinese Super Ninja's is awesome. As is the 5 Deadly Venoms, the flying guillotine, crippled avengers, etc. The Shaw brothers movies (as mentioned above) are a great place to start.
    Jet Li had some good ones in his earlier career as well, Same with Jackie Chan.

    A million times yes! The legend of Fong Sai Yuk films are my favourite kung fu films of all time. Perfect mix of breathtaking fight scenes and not taking itself very seriously at all.

    The Jackie Chan police story films have also held up very well. Think rush hour with more/better stunts and ridiculous slapstick comedy, but those are only set in the past if you count the 1980's as the past.

    The first Drunken Master film is a classic though and fits your criteria perfectly. The dubbing is super bad and the action and plot are brilliant, hilarious and incredibly entertaining.

    handt.jpg tor.jpg

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Shaolin Soccer is also extremely absurd in its Kung fu hilarity. Done by the same guy as Kung Fu Hustle. The bad guys in Shaolin Soccer are literally called Team Evil which should tell you a lot about how the rest of the movie plays out.

    Warning, watching Shaolin Soccer will make you want to be interested in real soccer only to be horribly disappointed in the real deal by comparison.

  • JohnnyCacheJohnnyCache Starting Defense Place at the tableRegistered User regular
    Although it's an american movie, The Quest is actually decent corny fun. Unlike most van damme movies, it's not rated R.


    I host a podcast about movies.
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    A lot of Jackie Chan's earlier works, while not necessarily completely absurd, are often hilarious.

  • Great ScottGreat Scott King of Wishful Thinking Paragon City, RIRegistered User regular
    While I'm not an expert in this field, I'm betting that the employees of my favorite Chinese restaurant are, and they had this running (not translated, sadly) on their laptops constantly:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_of_Cookery

    It looked both fun and completely over every top.

    I'm unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Great Scott wrote: »
    While I'm not an expert in this field, I'm betting that the employees of my favorite Chinese restaurant are, and they had this running (not translated, sadly) on their laptops constantly:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_of_Cookery

    It looked both fun and completely over every top.

    God of Cookery is another Stephen Chow film (Shaolin Soccer, Kung Fu Hustle). It's also really good! Jackie Chan's films always have a lot of slapstick in them, even during the death-defying stunts. He'll be slapping a man in the face with a snow ski through a slatted gate one second, then narrowly avoid getting sawn in half by a real actual running table saw the next second. Buster Keaton is his biggest influence in film, and it shows. The Police Story films are great, Armor of God is great, especially watch out for anything he made with Sammo Hung, those two really get the best out of each other.

  • subediisubedii Registered User regular
    On a related note: Why Jackie Chan's action-comedy works so well compared to most directors:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ

  • RiboflavinRiboflavin Registered User regular
    Thanks folks, looks like I have some homework. My plan is to start with Shaolin Soccer then move to Shaw Brothers and then investigate the more obscure titles. I'm sure he'll love it.

  • Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    Oh man, black belt theater was the BEST, but the violence, while cartoony, may be too much for a nine year old.

    Kid with the Golden Arm, 5 Deadly Venoms, so many more i can't really remember...

    Master of the Flying Guillotine is hilariously silly, but also incredibly gory if i remember right. lots of decapitations, and then fountains of blood spray.

  • Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    Journey to the West is pretty good, Stephen Chow directed it but isn't in it. thats a modern movie, but set in the past.

  • RiboflavinRiboflavin Registered User regular
    Dr. Frenchenstein wrote: »
    Oh man, black belt theater was the BEST, but the violence, while cartoony, may be too much for a nine year old.

    Kid with the Golden Arm, 5 Deadly Venoms, so many more i can't really remember...

    Master of the Flying Guillotine is hilariously silly, but also incredibly gory if i remember right. lots of decapitations, and then fountains of blood spray.

    THIS is exactly the problem. I can't remember how gory these were and really my dad never worried about it either. I remember him taking me to "The Sword and the Sorceror" my first R movie when I was 10. I assume any R rated ones were somewhat cut on "Blackbelt Theater". I think the ROKU has some channels dedicated to cheesy martial arts so I may check those out too.

  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Speaking of Roku...
    Avatar: The Last Airbender?
    It's a cartoon series instead of live action movie, but it's funny, all ages appropriate, AWESOME, and the bending is based on actual kung fu styles.

    steam_sig.png
Sign In or Register to comment.
Penny Arcade Forums› Help / Advice Forum