The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
[PA Comic] Monday, May 18, 2015 - Excavation
Dog
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
[PA Comic] Monday, May 18, 2015 - Excavation
Unknown User on
+12
Posts
I mean, the rest is still funny as all hell but I'm just saying I was so busy laughing I couldn't finish reading the rest of it until I had collected myself.
"I was working from some bad information" is a new favourite.
Hell no - there's one I remember that used "terrible" twice in three lines. Amateur hour shit.
By Zid
Got purple swirls all in my eyes,
And lime green spots in my dome.
Colors unfurl, and hypnotize,
Pink up in my comfort zone.
Red, and white peppermint patterned,
Like a candy coated dream.
Orange, and brown all over splattered,
Let's not further discuss this scene.
Like a junkie, I'm addicted,
But what I'm discussing isn't drugs.
What's got me all conflicted
Are my experiments with rugs.
My eyes bug out, I hyperventilate,
I just can't help it when I decorate.
I see a rug, and start to salivate,
Who knew color matching could be so great?
I'm trying to tie this room together,
And scratch my carpet fetish itch.
Does it go with velvet or does it go with leather?
Just when "I've got it," that's when I switch.
Like a junkie, I'm addicted,
But what I'm discussing isn't drugs.
What's got me all conflicted
Are my experiments with rugs.
Recovery? You're kidding, right?
There is no cure for this wild ill.
And even if it's a pleasing sight,
It still won't make me stop and chill
I'll just pull it up, and throw it out.
I've got Feng shui on the brain.
I've got some issues, there is no doubt,
Ones that just can't be explained.
Like a junkie, I'm addicted,
but what I'm discussing isn't drugs.
What's got me all conflicted
Are my experiments with rugs.
Like a junkie, I'm addicted
but what I'm discussing isn't drugs
what's got me all conflicted
Are my experiments with rugs
Yes, I rhymed 'Patterned' and 'splattered' and no I'm not sorry.
I cried myself to sleep.
I sometimes go trawling them to find old characters I want to bring back though.
We like to say that if you look at your code from 6+ months ago and don't think it's horrible, you're not getting any better : )
Ah, progress.
We had to write a bunch of Haikus in my 11th grade English class, I only remember one by heart:
Ninja turtle fight!
Defeat those really bad guys.
Take orders from rat.
oh God no.
I'd rather confess to the murder. Yeah, I'd like to confess now.
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/250154
On Us, Lean.
By Zid
If you feel you're left behind
and struggling down the path of time,
your hope abandoned and path unclear.
At your wits end, living in fear.
If things are bad and you feel alone,
adrift in a sort of Twilight Zone
just keep in mind that friends are near-
Don't fear to lean 'till all is clear.
You're not alone. All hope's not lost.
There are kind souls who won't fear cost.
Folks like me-In this please trust!
Upon our light depend you must.
We'll guide you from the fear and pain
and help your heart be whole again.
Looking back, the oldest poem I can find is from 2010, by which time I'd graduated university and was writing the session notes for my Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay group. My character was an entertainer and was writing the session notes in-universe for future publication. This was the first session my character joined (after my first character was killed in friendly fire, I quickly rolled up her sister as a replacement):
Young and old, male and female, to hear
A story of valour
Started by Oldenhaller
And the gem that he valued so dear.
That mission is told by another
As this raconteur finds it a bother
To relate a story
That turns out so gory
For a Halfling that shares the same mother.
So let us discover our team
As they board a boat and sail downstream
The majority feeling
Is that they need some healing
As their last fight was pretty extreme.
While they rest I will give a depiction
Of each party member’s description
There will not be much scope
For most fantasy tropes
But no matter: truth’s stranger than fiction.
The Dwarf Korgan leads from the front
With a war cry that’s really a grunt
He heads the collective
In a way most effective
But with manners that some find quite blunt.
Eledhwyn’s an Elven physician
Who’s put in the tricky position
Of being both healer
And ranged damage dealer
Which both require expert precision.
Llanydir’s a doctor most fey
With a longbow for spending the day
Dispatching rat creatures
With human-like features
(And Halflings that get in the way).
Brittgeir is a Human Marine
With sword and loins equally keen
She’ll try to bypass you
And is likely to ask you
For sex before stabbing your spleen.
Agatha’s known for near automatic
Success in all skills acrobatic
Her street show’s worth a look
Just don’t ask her to cook
As her morals are somewhat erratic.
And now, with the utmost sincerity,
Jocelin, wise and kind - a true rarity:
Why such glowing description?
She can choose her depiction:
She’s the one writing this for posterity.
We join our brave friends at the docks
After buying clothes, weapons and locks
For 5 Crowns a day
They’ll keep bad guys away
Using swords, arrows, crossbows and rocks.
The Pegasus crew was comprised
Of a skipper Britgear recognised
And a husband and wife
Who escaped with their life
When their previous vessels capsized.
They cast off amid protestations
From a gang that required reparations
Schatzenheimer’s tough guys
Were fooled by the surprise
Of the boat’s switcheroo of locations.
They loaded up quick as a wink
Although two of the team didn’t think
That their footing would slip
Or they’d stumble and trip
But they did, and both fell in the drink.
After saving them, dripping and furious,
(Agatha and Brittgeir, for the curious)
The barge sailed through the wald
With furs tucked in the hold
(They were told it was booze, which was spurious.)
They guarded both daily and nightly
A task none of them took on lightly
The ones with night vision
Took the nocturnal mission
And Brittgeir when daylight shone brightly.
The sailing was mainly diurnal
(That’s by day, not by night - that’s nocturnal)
And until Kemperbard
Though the job wasn’t hard
The river seemed nigh-on eternal.
At pubs that they passed on the way
Jocelin saw what the drunks had to say
While she pumped them for info
Brittgeir, the brash nympho
Pumped them in a quite different way.
They reached Kemperbard at long last
And found trouble remarkably fast
Because House Valentina
Those gangsters from Telina
Offered cash to jump ship - but they passed.
The elf duo were dedicated
To shopping, but were quite frustrated:
The books they had to buy
Weren’t in general supply
And they weren’t college affilliated.
In the morning they took to the water
Though Valentinas threatened slaughter
But what they didn’t know
Was the opening blow
Would come from a different quarter
That night as the crew left for land
Marien joined the team, just as planned
Agatha stayed behind
Just in case she could find
Any loot while the barge was unmanned.
As the halfling turned over the cabin
She found a bag, ripe for the grabbin’
The powder inside
Made her pupils go wide
And she went to find more stuff for nabbin’.
She entered the inn where the crew
Were drinking, and knew what to do:
She pickpocketed rings
And a few other things
And then bid the onlookers adieu.
Jocelin tried to start a distraction
To prevent an aggressive reaction
But the crowd took offence
At her frantic pretence
And this is where we’ll leave the action.
(Spoilered for length and crimes against metre)
And it's great to see so many others that instantly relate to this.
http://newnations.bandcamp.com
It's beautiful!
Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132