Welcome, ladies, gents and others, to the latest installment of TRANS THREAD.
So, this is my first thread starty thing on Penny Arcade...test me out, whacha got?
What is a trans?
Oh. Oh...cool. Umm....maybe start here? -
http://transwhat.org/confused/
The intended theme of this thread is pretty much anything to do with gender identity and how people deal with it.
Who is this thread for?
Well, its in the Singularity Engine, so anyone really BUT:
- The people this thread is intended for is anyone who has a gender or does not!
- But also this thread is hopefully a safe space for people dealing with gender identity issues slightly more than those who are cis binary and not questioning.
So yeah, anybody, but DBAD. We just call it Trans thread because its quick shorthand.
I'm seeing a lot of terms that I have no idea what they are. Help!
-
Agender: People who have little or no gender identity; not identifying as male or female to any significant extent.
-
AFAB & AMAB: Means `Assigned Female At Birth' and `Assigned Male At Birth'.
-
Cat lumps: boobs.
-
Deadname: Referring to a person who is going through, or has completed gender transition by the name associated with a false gender. Sort of extends to using the wrong pronouns.
-
FTM & MTF: stands for Female-To-Male or Male-To-Female, much less common now than trans man & trans woman (particularly due to prevalence of non-binary trans)
-
Genderqueer: People with a non-binary gender identity usually identify under this label to some extent.
-
Intersex: People who have a physically non-binary sex. Kinda like trans in some way, with a whole bunch of unique challenges.
-
LGBTQQIA: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual.
-
Trans Man and Trans Woman: Men & women who formerly were identified by a different gender at birth to their actual gender identity.
I really just did this part to remind people of cat lumps. Cat lumps are out there.
I would quite like to talk about an issue but I don't think I know much about gender identity, and I'm not sure how to post without getting my head bitten off. How do I avoid that?
OK, there's no hard and fast way to achieve this, but here are some things that may be helpful to keep in mind.
-
Try not to define other people with what you say. This includes trying to theorise things like `trans women do this' or `so trans men are really blah'. Everyone is different.
-
Feel free to Google your question (if any) first. I know, PA forums people are pretty cool and you'd rather ask e-buddies, but if you can find your answer in the first ten Google results, you can be reasonably sure people in this thread have heard your question a lot. If you can't, its probably a good one.
-
Don't `deadname' people who are going through, or have completed, gender transition. Its rude and triggering, its just...don't do it, OK?
-
Avoid asking about people's `bits'. You know, hoo-has, or the meat and two veg. Its really not your business.
-
Take the answer in before arguing against it. Sometimes this gender identity stuff has a slow burn and it takes skull sweat & time for enlightenment to occur.
Didn't the last trans thread get really awkward? I remember it feeling kind of awkward near the end there (or earlier even).
Yes, it did get kind of awkward, and we heard from a whole bunch of people who felt uncomfortable posting in the thread. That is really...not good.
I'm really hoping that this time around the people who spoke up in the last trans thread feel welcome to contribute and not be turned off by perceived groupthink. Sadly even (other) trans people get things wrong sometimes, and being excluded suuuucks
So just to put it out there: IF YOU ARE POSTING IN THIS THREAD, PLEASE PUT IN THE CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO BE ACCEPTING OF OTHERS PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCES.
And as always, the Report button is there for people who are not happy with what is going on - calling in a moderator isn't `dobbing', its good sense when things seem wrong.
Links!The last Trans threadThe current LGBT thread
If you'd like me to add some good stuff to the OP, flick me a PM and I shall do so! Ta!
Posts
But I am here, I am listening, I am learning
and note well the mostly, because that wasn't there not so long ago
and I'm very thankful to everyone in these types of threads for that.
I'm a worry-wart.
Satans..... hints.....
tox if you want to talk about your stuff, I'm an AMAB, masc presenting enby person! Shoot me a PM!
It feels like genderqueer is a huge oversimplification of what's going on in there, but I don't have a better word so I'm going with that.
This is at least in part because if I flat-out TELL anyone "I'm trans" they say "oh, you used to be a man?"
No, no I didn't "used to be a man." That combined with the fact that I would lose AT LEAST one partner really confuses things in my head to a degree that I feel like I am not capable of saying male, and it's hard to have an honest conversation with myself when I feel that way about one of my primary options.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
I don't even know if I am justified in feeling this way.
I turned Dubh into an anime dragon/demon girl.
I'm not sure why you wouldn't be justified feeling this way; i get worried about even going to see close friends who know. Being closeted is super difficult, especially when you know those around you aren't accepting. Holding out and avoiding those topics is probably your best bet, and if you do have to yell at someone about it, well, I hope it goes well.
Also, hugs!
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
I'd feel that way and I have nothing to be outed about, apart from not holding horrible opinions.
Lucky.
Need your help with a pronoun situation. I was at a local PetSmart the other day with my daughter and asked a question one of the associates who appeared to be female, but could have been queer or even male and admittedly I was making a lot of assumptions just based on the person's higher voice and smaller stature. As I walked away with my daughter I said, "She says we can find them over there." As I looked back the person gave me a (sad? angry?) look, and went off in the other direction and then I realized I might have misgendered the person.
What do Trans people think if some stranger misgenders them based on an assumption about their appearance? Should I just try to use gender neutral at all times? Should I have said, "The salesperson said we can find them over there."?
Am I overthinking it?
She fell into the FF14 hole!
I don't know what I am
But it has been an awful lot of fun playing around with different stuff, finding out
Bought some cute hair clips that I smile a lot anytime I see, and my next step over vacation is nail polish. I'm exciteeeddd~~~
IMO, I think staying gender neutral when you don't know a person's preferred pronoun is better, especially when talking to/around them. "They said we can find it over here" is grammatically correct and avoids any potentially awkward misgendering.
nail polish is so fun! enjoy it
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
I'm not like, not allowed to wear an orange work shirt
that stuff is just weird to me
Oh, god, I would be actively terrified to wear it to work, even if it were black as night
S'why im gunna wait till my vacation when I can hermit it up for an entire week and get the most vibrant pink or maybe blue (who am I kidding it will be so goddamn pink) I can find. Eeeee I can't wait!!!
Edit: oh my god
q: would I die
My FIL is a Pentecostal pastor, so needless to say some of the conversations and observations regarding folks here have been... a little frustrating.
Steam ID - VeldrinD
But would it really be dying? Or would it be living????
The answer is it would be dying, because you would be dead.
but I would look great
it's a go
That's an easy solution! I knew I was overthinking it. Thanks.
Ive tried and be in for difficulties turns out its actually pretty hard! Worth it though
My ideal design is the phases of the moons on each finger with full moons on the thumbs I dunno how it would look but I love the moon so
I'll be honest, I did get confused by that at first.
It's true, I saw her do it!
In fun news, I've scheduled my first appointment with a laser hair removal place. Also my first visit with an endocrinologist is in a couple weeks (FINALLY!).
It's happening!