Alright, the five of you have had like an hour to work on these damn things. I'm hungry and want to order pizza already, but you all insisted we wait until the goddamn characters were done.
I really hope these things are good, because if I see ANY mistakes then I'm just going to give you one of the prefab characters that came in the starter box. In fact, I'm going to give you the special prefab if you really annoy me. Yes, that one. So let's review: I don't want to see any trybrid characters or quadbrids or basically anything beyond a 50/50 split. Sorry it ruins your original character but we all know you fuckers do it just to get all of the racial perks and pretend the weaknesses were bred out of you. Also, we are playing with the BETA Rumentari 6th Edition rules, because I think we can all agree that Thomas Glenmore is a goddamn hack and butchered everything right before the official retail build. This means none of that critical armor horseshit and the frost magic rules are still the original 4th edition system as Jacquey Marris fucking intended (God rest her soul). While I hate the memes of the 6.5 rules, I will begrudgingly
allow all of the post-Beta 6th races because I know one of you will try to roll a Corgi Knight because heaven forbid we use our imaginations in this game fueled by player creativity. Let it never be said that I don't bend over fucking backwards to accommodate you assholes.
Let's set some ground rules too: free rerolls on cocked dice or floor dice. Floor dice results are never legal, I don't care what Kevin says there's a reason he's not here tonight.
Trying to look behind my screen results in whatever punishment I want, and this includes innocent shit like intentional floor dice to try and steal a peek. All internet access is forbidden because we all know what happened back in March, and you're not going to cheat by looking up the adventure online. You
ingrates didn't like my original shit, and once again I goddamn tie myself into knots to satisfy you. Since my painstakingly assembled EPICS weren't good enough for the Culture Club, I've dug up some obscure adventures online. And no, I didn't go and dig up fetish adventures like the infamous 1983 "Buff Orc" scenario because I'm not a petty person like Kevin. You're welcome, by the way.
I think that covers the ground rules besides obvious stuff, like not touching my dad's grandfather clock under any circumstances. But nobody is new here, so I don't think we really need to go over that. So all five of you just hand in your character sheets and let's get this over with.
Everyone is cool with Pizza Commies, right? If you aren't, then too bad, because I have a coupon.