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Sandra Lee
Regina Fong
Allons-y, AlonsoRegistered User regular
Allons-y, AlonsoRegistered User regular
This bitch is insane. I should have my own cooking show if this food-desecrating bimbo gets one.
Jesus, people.
Vampire Kiss Martini
1 part vodka, chilled
1 part Champagne
1 part Chambord
Garnish with wax teeth/candy corn/blood orange slice
(Aaaaghhh!!!!!!!)
Rock Shrimp with Spicy Creamy Sauce
Vegetable oil
1/2 cup real mayonnaise
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon heavy whipping cream
2 teaspoons Szechuan seasoning
2 cups tempura batter mix (recommended: Hime)
1 1/2 cups ice water
1 pound rock shrimp*
Endives, for garnish
Crispy onions (recommended: French's Original), for garnish.
(Oh God, the mayo, the dairy, the humanity...)
Life's A Beach Cake
1 purchased angel food cake
10 large marshmallows
2 containers vanilla frosting
Blue food coloring
1/2 cup sweetened flaked coconut
(Way to ruin angel food cake, bitch)
Kwanzaa Celebration Cake
1 (10 to 12-ounce) purchased angel food cake
1 container (16 ounce) vanilla frosting
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (21-ounce) container apple filling or topping
1 (1.7-ounce) package corn nuts
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted
1/2 cup popped popcorn
Special Equipment:
Kwanzaa candles
(What better way to celebrate a black people holiday than with a cake that tastes like abortion?)
White Nights
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup granulated sugar, C&H®
1 cup light corn syrup, Karo®
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon whiskey or bourbon, Jack Daniel's®
1 teaspoon instant coffee granules, Folgers®
1 teaspoon hot water
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup, Hershey's®
(Jesus Christ on a pogo-stick, this much be like drinking diabetes through a straw of fate)
Spooky Pastry Puffs
1 sheet puff pastry (from a package of 2)
Filling:
4 tablespoons butter, melted
2 green apples, thinly sliced (soak apples in lemon water to keep them from browning)
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon rum extract
1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/3 cup apple cider
1/2 cup apple butter
Whipped topping in a can
Powdered sugar, for dusting
(It gladdens my heart that poor fuckers actually try these recipes and are unexpectedly disappointed with them. Ahhh, shadenfruede)
The reviews are not to be missed!
Jesus, people.
Vampire Kiss Martini
1 part vodka, chilled
1 part Champagne
1 part Chambord
Garnish with wax teeth/candy corn/blood orange slice
(Aaaaghhh!!!!!!!)
Rock Shrimp with Spicy Creamy Sauce
Vegetable oil
1/2 cup real mayonnaise
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon heavy whipping cream
2 teaspoons Szechuan seasoning
2 cups tempura batter mix (recommended: Hime)
1 1/2 cups ice water
1 pound rock shrimp*
Endives, for garnish
Crispy onions (recommended: French's Original), for garnish.
(Oh God, the mayo, the dairy, the humanity...)
Life's A Beach Cake
1 purchased angel food cake
10 large marshmallows
2 containers vanilla frosting
Blue food coloring
1/2 cup sweetened flaked coconut
(Way to ruin angel food cake, bitch)
Kwanzaa Celebration Cake
1 (10 to 12-ounce) purchased angel food cake
1 container (16 ounce) vanilla frosting
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (21-ounce) container apple filling or topping
1 (1.7-ounce) package corn nuts
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted
1/2 cup popped popcorn
Special Equipment:
Kwanzaa candles
(What better way to celebrate a black people holiday than with a cake that tastes like abortion?)
White Nights
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup granulated sugar, C&H®
1 cup light corn syrup, Karo®
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon whiskey or bourbon, Jack Daniel's®
1 teaspoon instant coffee granules, Folgers®
1 teaspoon hot water
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup, Hershey's®
(Jesus Christ on a pogo-stick, this much be like drinking diabetes through a straw of fate)
Spooky Pastry Puffs
1 sheet puff pastry (from a package of 2)
Filling:
4 tablespoons butter, melted
2 green apples, thinly sliced (soak apples in lemon water to keep them from browning)
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon rum extract
1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/3 cup apple cider
1/2 cup apple butter
Whipped topping in a can
Powdered sugar, for dusting
(It gladdens my heart that poor fuckers actually try these recipes and are unexpectedly disappointed with them. Ahhh, shadenfruede)
The reviews are not to be missed!
Regina Fong on
0
Posts
never watched Sandra
I watch a lot of Food Network Night Time
Shogun Streams Vidya
That beach cake looks delicious
SO HUGE
Why the fuck would you put all that shit on an angel food cake? Get some berries and a little bit of sugar.
If you can make a cake better, you fucking make it better, and you eat it
And coconut makes almost anything taste better
the same reason when i cook mexican dishes in my house i go find any ingredients i can that work and just add them in
variety is the spice of life
yes
kinda
If it wasn't for the cans she wouldn't have a show at all.
Which reminds me since this is cooking all I need to say is Nigella Lawson. She cooks in this silk robe sometimes.
Fabulous
Shogun Streams Vidya
I could do that.
Hell, I invented god damned pizzadillas.
2 tortillas
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 tub of papa john's bread stick dipping sauce
1/4 cup powdered parmesan cheese.
Preheat a skillet on high.
Lightly butter one side of each tortilla.
Rub parmesan cheese on buttered side of each tortilla.
Toss one tortilla on the skillet (butter side down)
Add cheese, bread stick dipping sauce, and whatever parmesan you have left.
Place other tortilla on top, flipping once.
Cook till browned.
Cut and serve.
There. Now where's my fucking cooking show.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
I was also thinking
WHAT THE FUCK MAKES THIS A MARTINI?!
MARTINIS ARE GIN AND DRY VERMOUTH!
THIS HAS NEITHER, HOW THE FUCK IN HELL IS THIS A MARTINI?!
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Those are some big jugs.
I mean, holy shit.
ever heard of a vodka martini?
A vodka martini isn't a real martini.
It's like making a margarita with rum and calling it a rum margarita.
And here's Nigella Lawson to boot
Shogun Streams Vidya
Man. I am still so angry today. Grawr.
how does it feel to be so wrong, mr. wrongy mcwrongpants.
I don't know. I think this act is sort of getting old.
yes, I have.
But a vodka martini is called a vodka Martini because it replaces the main ingredient, gin, with vodka but otherwise the drink is unchanged.
If you take out the gin, and the vermouth, it now has absolutely nothing to do with a real martini except being served in a martini glass.
I liken this to serving milk in a beer glass and calling it a beer.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Look, I don't care if it's been accepted by most people, most people are stupid. A martini is made with gin. If you make it with Vodka, it's no longer a martini. Just like how if you make a margarita with rum, it's no longer a margarita.
I see