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Leech Roomate
Falhurk
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey folks,
So, I have an issue.
My roomate's a leech.
A couple of months ago I noticed that my food within the fridge was constantly depleting faster than I had used it. When I talked to my roomate about it he said that it was his friends and had offered to pay for it. It didn't help the immediate situation (as I had wanted some damn cereal and had no milk) but it was reasonable.
So, the problem continued, wether or not he had friends over. So, to curb this, I bought myself a minifridge. Figuring that this would solve the problem once and for all. I've noticed over the last couple months that I cant keep anything that's really perishable in the minifridge. It doesn't get cold enough. Milk spoils within a few days and it just isn't working.
So, I have started storing my stuff in the fridge again, on the second shelf. A couple of days have gone by and I notice a couple things missing so I talk to my roomate again about it. Essentially I told him to stop eating my shit. He agrees and I figure everythings cool. I had even put a note on my shelf in the fridge so that he/his friends would know not to eat the goddamn food there.
This morning I notice, yet again that stuff is missing. My note was removed and had a bunch of shit written on it. Though I think he decided not to actually give me the message as it was next to the trash bin. Shit like "I like your food, it tastes good" and a note saying that I should move out and all kinds of crap.
Now, I'm intending on moving out anyways. Towards the end of next month but I'm working to get into shape and eat a balanced diet, which includes the stuff I fit into the fridge. Meaning, I'd like to keep the stuff there so I can continue to eat better.
What can I do? Any suggestions?
TL;DR: My roomate is a leech, eating my food, I'm moving out in just over a month, what can I do in the meantime?
So, I have an issue.
My roomate's a leech.
A couple of months ago I noticed that my food within the fridge was constantly depleting faster than I had used it. When I talked to my roomate about it he said that it was his friends and had offered to pay for it. It didn't help the immediate situation (as I had wanted some damn cereal and had no milk) but it was reasonable.
So, the problem continued, wether or not he had friends over. So, to curb this, I bought myself a minifridge. Figuring that this would solve the problem once and for all. I've noticed over the last couple months that I cant keep anything that's really perishable in the minifridge. It doesn't get cold enough. Milk spoils within a few days and it just isn't working.
So, I have started storing my stuff in the fridge again, on the second shelf. A couple of days have gone by and I notice a couple things missing so I talk to my roomate again about it. Essentially I told him to stop eating my shit. He agrees and I figure everythings cool. I had even put a note on my shelf in the fridge so that he/his friends would know not to eat the goddamn food there.
This morning I notice, yet again that stuff is missing. My note was removed and had a bunch of shit written on it. Though I think he decided not to actually give me the message as it was next to the trash bin. Shit like "I like your food, it tastes good" and a note saying that I should move out and all kinds of crap.
Now, I'm intending on moving out anyways. Towards the end of next month but I'm working to get into shape and eat a balanced diet, which includes the stuff I fit into the fridge. Meaning, I'd like to keep the stuff there so I can continue to eat better.
What can I do? Any suggestions?
TL;DR: My roomate is a leech, eating my food, I'm moving out in just over a month, what can I do in the meantime?
Falhurk on
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My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative
I actually thought of that. Could be fun, at least, for me.
On the day you move out take a big dump on his pillow.
Then flip the pillow over for good measure.
Shogun Streams Vidya
Also you could document the thefts and sue him in court. THAT would be hysterical.
Though, I still like the laxitive idea... In any case, aside from introducing him to a baseball bat, do you guys figure there's much that can be done?
If the only thing is endure it then any ideas as to how I can sabotage my food for his consumption would be appreciated.
Unless you have separate bathrooms, this wouldn't be so fun, not to mention the legalities of it.
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I would say if this is YOUR food, not his at all, you're owed money. If the place isn't under your name, I would stiff on the last bills and leave a note saying he owed you money - pay the bills and you're square.
if you don't do either of these, you're not a man.
He's uses drugs pretty regularly and is an idiot, I would say the odds of him going about anything legally are at about 1%.
Though, is it even illegal? I mean, I could need a laxitive, mix it with milk to stomach it better. My neglect to tell him about it doesn't mean he can help himself to it.
My thoughts exactly
Yeah, we buy our own food, pretty much handle our own expenses. I even pay the landlord seperatly. My name isn't on the lease (in fact, there is no lease). But, because I don't give him the money, I can't really stiff him on it.
Well it's certainly cool that your landlord handles your rent that way. Oh well - if that's the case, I would completely fuck with him during the last two days you're there (chocolate milk w/copious amounts of Ex-Lax in it, brownies with more Ex-Lax, make dinner of chili or Mexican - turn off the water to his toilet and flush it once so there's no water coming back up might be a good start)
So far I like some of these ideas. Have any more? lol.
Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.
Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.
Hmm, I do appreciate your advice (because it's probably the most logical here) but I think that using exlax in my own foods is perfectly legal. If he's decided to steal it then he deserves what he gets. At least, I think that's a pretty reasonable defense.
In terms of him fucking with the food back. That's a good point. But, I think I could probably get around that.
In any case, it's making me feel less fucked over, thinking about possible retaliation.
On the brownies, to make the shitting last a bit longer - make two batches: one clean, one tainted. Be sure to put them all onto a plate (the tainted ones underneath). By the time the chocolate milk is done, he's probably working on the lower layer of brownies... I would have also suggested some mild (well... okay, maybe not mild) vandalism, but it sounds like your landlord's an okay guy - I don't think it'd be fair to him considering the arrangement you have with rent paying.
Yeah, only problem is that he is. Or at least, he was.
Hahahaha, yeah but if I were to start baking brownies I think he might know something is up. I'm thinking of maybe a laxitive that can be mixed with milk.
Are there any substances that can induce vomiting?
LOL! Now *that* would be hilarious.
Note: make sure *you* don't have anything illegal and aren't around when the cops come.
bah. Putting a laxative in YOUR OWN milk is not illegal. However, I'd save it till the last week so revenge on his part isn't a factor
or you could just ignore it or buy stuff you know he doesn't like.
Vomiting is a touchier issue because the stuff that might work for some, might not work for others (without going into poisoning) - plus, the taste of what is going to cause it might be easy to spot. I AM NOT ADVOCATING THIS!
Ex-Lax is easy to mask though - brownies obviously, chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, etc. You know what else works: Fish Oil. Introduce a bit of that into a batch of chili and spice it up... my sister, during her romp of doing health foods said she accidentally took a little more then she should of and... well... let's say it wasn't a pleasant result (rhymes with Berts).
I would suggest just letting the fridge empty out over the last week, eating out and keeping what you can in your little minifridge, then make yourself a nice big meal when he needs to fill up the fridge for himself. :P
Yeah, the problem is that this is after the fact. He's doing it again, and it's him, not his friends. He's not even trying to hide it. I said 'Do me a favour and stop eating my food' the other day, he just said ok and then started doing it again.
But you're not just putting something in your food. You're intentionally contaminating the food with the express purpose of causing harm to someone. That's against the law - just like putting booby traps in your house.
Or just forgo the dummy message and go straight for the end result. He sounds like such a douche that he's going to drink it and ignore the message. I may be wrong but clearly labeling it and him ignoring it is his own issue and not you delibratelly poisoning him.
You might also be able to get some thin but still lockable boxes at an office shop for loser things, you could put an gel ice pack in it to help cool the inside initially and then let the fridge handle the rest.
Just an idea that is slightly less illegal/harmful/makeing a shitty batroom.
TAKE HIS DRUGS! I mean, if you don't want to don't use them, but take them away from him. He drink beer? Drink every beer he leaves in the fridge. This guy is being a total douche bag, hit him where it hurts.
This is true. Fortunatly I'm in Canada and that case has no bearing on me. Though, I would think it's safe to assume that there's laws in Canada prohibiting these kinds of actions also.
That's a great idea, and I don't see how I could be in the wrong for doing it.
It's not just milk, but that's the majority of it. And it's also the part that irritates me the most. But, probably only because I can quantify how much he's stolen as the jugs I keep my milk in also have masurements.
My advice: Buy small serving amounts and pre-packaged stuff until you move out. Leave nothing for them to steal/ contaminate.
Now back to your regularly scheduled vengence.
Yeah, that's probably the best course of action. Albeit not as fun as vengence.
Not like theres any evidence all over the internet of him planning it or anything... I'm sure he'll get away with it!
Otherwise if you're confident that he still has illegal stuff in the apartment consenting to a search would be hilarious (though pretty likely to end up in some bad repercussions, like being jumped by his buddies/business associates.)
Food coloring might work. It's harmless for you in small quantities, but can make some stuff you make or buy look nasty. Yellow or green milk probably wouldn't look so appetizing.
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