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Leech Roomate

FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
edited April 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Hey folks,

So, I have an issue.

My roomate's a leech.

A couple of months ago I noticed that my food within the fridge was constantly depleting faster than I had used it. When I talked to my roomate about it he said that it was his friends and had offered to pay for it. It didn't help the immediate situation (as I had wanted some damn cereal and had no milk) but it was reasonable.

So, the problem continued, wether or not he had friends over. So, to curb this, I bought myself a minifridge. Figuring that this would solve the problem once and for all. I've noticed over the last couple months that I cant keep anything that's really perishable in the minifridge. It doesn't get cold enough. Milk spoils within a few days and it just isn't working.

So, I have started storing my stuff in the fridge again, on the second shelf. A couple of days have gone by and I notice a couple things missing so I talk to my roomate again about it. Essentially I told him to stop eating my shit. He agrees and I figure everythings cool. I had even put a note on my shelf in the fridge so that he/his friends would know not to eat the goddamn food there.

This morning I notice, yet again that stuff is missing. My note was removed and had a bunch of shit written on it. Though I think he decided not to actually give me the message as it was next to the trash bin. Shit like "I like your food, it tastes good" and a note saying that I should move out and all kinds of crap.

Now, I'm intending on moving out anyways. Towards the end of next month but I'm working to get into shape and eat a balanced diet, which includes the stuff I fit into the fridge. Meaning, I'd like to keep the stuff there so I can continue to eat better.

What can I do? Any suggestions?

TL;DR: My roomate is a leech, eating my food, I'm moving out in just over a month, what can I do in the meantime?

Falhurk on
«1

Posts

  • whuppinswhuppins Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Buy a minifridge that works, or grin and bear it for the next month.

    whuppins on
  • arod_77arod_77 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2007
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    arod_77 on
    glitteratsigcopy.jpg
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    arod_77 wrote: »
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    I actually thought of that. Could be fun, at least, for me.

    Falhurk on
  • ShogunShogun Hair long; money long; me and broke wizards we don't get along Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Let him keep eating your shit and being a prick about it.

    On the day you move out take a big dump on his pillow.

    Then flip the pillow over for good measure.

    Shogun on
  • PirateJonPirateJon Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Replace poison / medication (Y helo thar jail) with hot sauce / chili powder / etc.


    Also you could document the thefts and sue him in court. THAT would be hysterical.

    PirateJon on
    all perfectionists are mediocre in their own eyes
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Kinda hard to hide hot sauce or chili powder in milk lol.

    Though, I still like the laxitive idea... In any case, aside from introducing him to a baseball bat, do you guys figure there's much that can be done?

    If the only thing is endure it then any ideas as to how I can sabotage my food for his consumption would be appreciated.

    Falhurk on
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    arod_77 wrote: »
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    I actually thought of that. Could be fun, at least, for me.

    Unless you have separate bathrooms, this wouldn't be so fun, not to mention the legalities of it.

    Steel Angel on
    Big Dookie wrote: »
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  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Well, first I would have to ask how are bills split between the two of you? It sounds like you both buy your own food - and I've had bad experiences with that and it usually never goes well.

    I would say if this is YOUR food, not his at all, you're owed money. If the place isn't under your name, I would stiff on the last bills and leave a note saying he owed you money - pay the bills and you're square.

    Slagmire on
  • WiseguyWiseguy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2007
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Replace poison / medication (Y helo thar jail) with hot sauce / chili powder / etc.


    Also you could document the thefts and sue him in court. THAT would be hysterical.

    if you don't do either of these, you're not a man.

    Wiseguy on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    arod_77 wrote: »
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    I actually thought of that. Could be fun, at least, for me.

    Unless you have separate bathrooms, this wouldn't be so fun, not to mention the legalities of it.

    He's uses drugs pretty regularly and is an idiot, I would say the odds of him going about anything legally are at about 1%.

    Though, is it even illegal? I mean, I could need a laxitive, mix it with milk to stomach it better. My neglect to tell him about it doesn't mean he can help himself to it.

    Falhurk on
  • SerphimeraSerphimera Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    arod_77 wrote: »
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    My thoughts exactly :D

    Serphimera on
    And then I voted.
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Well, first I would have to ask how are bills split between the two of you? It sounds like you both buy your own food - and I've had bad experiences with that and it usually never goes well.

    I would say if this is YOUR food, not his at all, you're owed money. If the place isn't under your name, I would stiff on the last bills and leave a note saying he owed you money - pay the bills and you're square.

    Yeah, we buy our own food, pretty much handle our own expenses. I even pay the landlord seperatly. My name isn't on the lease (in fact, there is no lease). But, because I don't give him the money, I can't really stiff him on it.

    Falhurk on
  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Well, first I would have to ask how are bills split between the two of you? It sounds like you both buy your own food - and I've had bad experiences with that and it usually never goes well.

    I would say if this is YOUR food, not his at all, you're owed money. If the place isn't under your name, I would stiff on the last bills and leave a note saying he owed you money - pay the bills and you're square.

    Yeah, we buy our own food, pretty much handle our own expenses. I even pay the landlord seperatly. My name isn't on the lease (in fact, there is no lease). But, because I don't give him the money, I can't really stiff him on it.

    Well it's certainly cool that your landlord handles your rent that way. Oh well - if that's the case, I would completely fuck with him during the last two days you're there (chocolate milk w/copious amounts of Ex-Lax in it, brownies with more Ex-Lax, make dinner of chili or Mexican - turn off the water to his toilet and flush it once so there's no water coming back up might be a good start)

    Slagmire on
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Falhurk wrote: »
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Well, first I would have to ask how are bills split between the two of you? It sounds like you both buy your own food - and I've had bad experiences with that and it usually never goes well.

    I would say if this is YOUR food, not his at all, you're owed money. If the place isn't under your name, I would stiff on the last bills and leave a note saying he owed you money - pay the bills and you're square.

    Yeah, we buy our own food, pretty much handle our own expenses. I even pay the landlord seperatly. My name isn't on the lease (in fact, there is no lease). But, because I don't give him the money, I can't really stiff him on it.

    Well it's certainly cool that your landlord handles your rent that way. Oh well - if that's the case, I would completely fuck with him during the last two days you're there (chocolate milk w/copious amounts of Ex-Lax in it, brownies with more Ex-Lax, make dinner of chili or Mexican - turn off the water to his toilet and flush it once so there's no water coming back up might be a good start)

    So far I like some of these ideas. Have any more? lol.

    Falhurk on
  • PirateJonPirateJon Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.

    Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.

    PirateJon on
    all perfectionists are mediocre in their own eyes
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.

    Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.

    Hmm, I do appreciate your advice (because it's probably the most logical here) but I think that using exlax in my own foods is perfectly legal. If he's decided to steal it then he deserves what he gets. At least, I think that's a pretty reasonable defense.

    In terms of him fucking with the food back. That's a good point. But, I think I could probably get around that.

    In any case, it's making me feel less fucked over, thinking about possible retaliation.

    Falhurk on
  • arod_77arod_77 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2007
    Make an anonymous phone call suggesting that you believe he may be selling dope

    arod_77 on
    glitteratsigcopy.jpg
  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.

    Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.

    Hmm, I do appreciate your advice (because it's probably the most logical here) but I think that using exlax in my own foods is perfectly legal. If he's decided to steal it then he deserves what he gets. At least, I think that's a pretty reasonable defense.

    In terms of him fucking with the food back. That's a good point. But, I think I could probably get around that.

    In any case, it's making me feel less fucked over, thinking about possible retaliation.

    On the brownies, to make the shitting last a bit longer - make two batches: one clean, one tainted. Be sure to put them all onto a plate (the tainted ones underneath). By the time the chocolate milk is done, he's probably working on the lower layer of brownies... I would have also suggested some mild (well... okay, maybe not mild) vandalism, but it sounds like your landlord's an okay guy - I don't think it'd be fair to him considering the arrangement you have with rent paying.

    Slagmire on
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    arod_77 wrote: »
    Make an anonymous phone call suggesting that you believe he may be selling dope

    Yeah, only problem is that he is. Or at least, he was.

    Falhurk on
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Falhurk wrote: »
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.

    Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.

    Hmm, I do appreciate your advice (because it's probably the most logical here) but I think that using exlax in my own foods is perfectly legal. If he's decided to steal it then he deserves what he gets. At least, I think that's a pretty reasonable defense.

    In terms of him fucking with the food back. That's a good point. But, I think I could probably get around that.

    In any case, it's making me feel less fucked over, thinking about possible retaliation.

    On the brownies, to make the shitting last a bit longer - make two batches: one clean, one tainted. Be sure to put them all onto a plate (the tainted ones underneath). By the time the chocolate milk is done, he's probably working on the lower layer of brownies... I would have also suggested some mild (well... okay, maybe not mild) vandalism, but it sounds like your landlord's an okay guy - I don't think he wants to have to deal with it.

    Hahahaha, yeah but if I were to start baking brownies I think he might know something is up. I'm thinking of maybe a laxitive that can be mixed with milk.

    Are there any substances that can induce vomiting?

    Falhurk on
  • SerphimeraSerphimera Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    arod_77 wrote: »
    Make an anonymous phone call suggesting that you believe he may be selling dope

    LOL! Now *that* would be hilarious.

    Note: make sure *you* don't have anything illegal and aren't around when the cops come.

    Serphimera on
    And then I voted.
  • SerphimeraSerphimera Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Wheee, double post. Check out a book called "Spite, Malice, and Revenge." Hilarious stuff.

    Serphimera on
    And then I voted.
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    bah. Putting a laxative in YOUR OWN milk is not illegal. However, I'd save it till the last week so revenge on his part isn't a factor

    or you could just ignore it or buy stuff you know he doesn't like.

    Xaquin on
  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    Slagmire wrote: »
    Falhurk wrote: »
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    Besides, fucking with your food will make HIM fuck with it worse - ie his nutsack + your cereal. If you really can't stash the stuff in your room then you're out of luck for another 40 days.

    Your only other real option is small claims court. Which would be HILARIOUS. So do that.

    Hmm, I do appreciate your advice (because it's probably the most logical here) but I think that using exlax in my own foods is perfectly legal. If he's decided to steal it then he deserves what he gets. At least, I think that's a pretty reasonable defense.

    In terms of him fucking with the food back. That's a good point. But, I think I could probably get around that.

    In any case, it's making me feel less fucked over, thinking about possible retaliation.

    On the brownies, to make the shitting last a bit longer - make two batches: one clean, one tainted. Be sure to put them all onto a plate (the tainted ones underneath). By the time the chocolate milk is done, he's probably working on the lower layer of brownies... I would have also suggested some mild (well... okay, maybe not mild) vandalism, but it sounds like your landlord's an okay guy - I don't think he wants to have to deal with it.

    Hahahaha, yeah but if I were to start baking brownies I think he might know something is up. I'm thinking of maybe a laxitive that can be mixed with milk.

    Are there any substances that can induce vomiting?

    Vomiting is a touchier issue because the stuff that might work for some, might not work for others (without going into poisoning) - plus, the taste of what is going to cause it might be easy to spot. I AM NOT ADVOCATING THIS!

    Ex-Lax is easy to mask though - brownies obviously, chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, etc. You know what else works: Fish Oil. Introduce a bit of that into a batch of chili and spice it up... my sister, during her romp of doing health foods said she accidentally took a little more then she should of and... well... let's say it wasn't a pleasant result (rhymes with Berts).

    Slagmire on
  • UndefinedMonkeyUndefinedMonkey Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Show him the note, and tell him that his friends are no longer allowed to eat your food. Don't let him just buy you off with "oh, I'll give you money for the food they ate and we'll be good ok?" Make sure he tells them, specifically, that your food is off limits. Then, tell him that he is specifically responsible for feeding his friends, and throwing money at you after the fact is not the same as buying his own damn food. You have every right to be angry about this.

    UndefinedMonkey on
    This space intentionally left blank.
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    lol, ok. So stay away from the vomiting. How about taste? How noticeable is liquid-laxitive?

    Falhurk on
  • AurinAurin Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    It's all fun and games until you send the guy to the hospital. :P

    I would suggest just letting the fridge empty out over the last week, eating out and keeping what you can in your little minifridge, then make yourself a nice big meal when he needs to fill up the fridge for himself. :P

    Aurin on
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Show him the note, and tell him that his friends are no longer allowed to eat your food. Don't let him just buy you off with "oh, I'll give you money for the food they ate and we'll be good ok?" Make sure he tells them, specifically, that your food is off limits. Then, tell him that he is specifically responsible for feeding his friends, and throwing money at you after the fact is not the same as buying his own damn food. You have every right to be angry about this.

    Yeah, the problem is that this is after the fact. He's doing it again, and it's him, not his friends. He's not even trying to hide it. I said 'Do me a favour and stop eating my food' the other day, he just said ok and then started doing it again.

    Falhurk on
  • PirateJonPirateJon Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Xaquin44 wrote: »
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    bah. Putting a laxative in YOUR OWN milk is not illegal. However, I'd save it till the last week so revenge on his part isn't a factor

    or you could just ignore it or buy stuff you know he doesn't like.

    But you're not just putting something in your food. You're intentionally contaminating the food with the express purpose of causing harm to someone. That's against the law - just like putting booby traps in your house.
    Katko v. Briney, 183 N.W.2d 657 (Iowa 1971), was a famous tort case decided by the Supreme Court of Iowa, in which a homeowner was held liable for battery for injuries caused to a trespasser who set off a spring gun set as a mantrap in an abandoned house on the homeowner's property.

    The case appears in virtually every torts textbook, and has even been the subject of a collection of poems written by law students. It stands for the proposition that, though a landowner has no duty to make his property safe for trespassers, he may not set deadly traps against them.

    The notable quotation from the decision is:

    "the law has always placed a higher value upon human safety than upon mere rights of property"

    PirateJon on
    all perfectionists are mediocre in their own eyes
  • Porphyria PlanPorphyria Plan Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Either put your milk in the fridge with a dummy message saying "DO NOT DRINK HAS LAXATIVES" for a week and if he drinks it next week put some exlax in the next bottle with the same sign. Take pictures of the bottle with the note beforehand.

    Or just forgo the dummy message and go straight for the end result. He sounds like such a douche that he's going to drink it and ignore the message. I may be wrong but clearly labeling it and him ignoring it is his own issue and not you delibratelly poisoning him.

    Porphyria Plan on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited April 2007
    Is it just milk? My friend here at school hates his roomates and got sick of buying milk every week, so he used the cord lock he bought for his laptop that he never used and tied the handle of the milk to the inside of the door (in a way that made it really hard to lift and pour). Its your property, you can lock it if you want.

    You might also be able to get some thin but still lockable boxes at an office shop for loser things, you could put an gel ice pack in it to help cool the inside initially and then let the fridge handle the rest.


    Just an idea that is slightly less illegal/harmful/makeing a shitty batroom.

    Iruka on
  • GrundlterrorGrundlterror Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    Falhurk wrote: »
    arod_77 wrote: »
    God what a douchebag.

    My idea would be to poison the food with some sort of laxative

    I actually thought of that. Could be fun, at least, for me.

    Unless you have separate bathrooms, this wouldn't be so fun, not to mention the legalities of it.

    He's uses drugs pretty regularly and is an idiot

    TAKE HIS DRUGS! I mean, if you don't want to don't use them, but take them away from him. He drink beer? Drink every beer he leaves in the fridge. This guy is being a total douche bag, hit him where it hurts.

    Grundlterror on
    steam_sig.png
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Xaquin44 wrote: »
    PirateJon wrote: »
    Jesus people. Giving someone drugs (exlax) like that is ILLEGAL.

    bah. Putting a laxative in YOUR OWN milk is not illegal. However, I'd save it till the last week so revenge on his part isn't a factor

    or you could just ignore it or buy stuff you know he doesn't like.

    But you're not just putting something in your food. You're intentionally contaminating the food with the express purpose of causing harm to someone. That's against the law - just like putting booby traps in your house.
    Katko v. Briney, 183 N.W.2d 657 (Iowa 1971), was a famous tort case decided by the Supreme Court of Iowa, in which a homeowner was held liable for battery for injuries caused to a trespasser who set off a spring gun set as a mantrap in an abandoned house on the homeowner's property.

    The case appears in virtually every torts textbook, and has even been the subject of a collection of poems written by law students. It stands for the proposition that, though a landowner has no duty to make his property safe for trespassers, he may not set deadly traps against them.

    The notable quotation from the decision is:

    "the law has always placed a higher value upon human safety than upon mere rights of property"

    This is true. Fortunatly I'm in Canada and that case has no bearing on me. Though, I would think it's safe to assume that there's laws in Canada prohibiting these kinds of actions also.
    Either put your milk in the fridge with a dummy message saying "DO NOT DRINK HAS LAXATIVES" for a week and if he drinks it next week put some exlax in the next bottle with the same sign. Take pictures of the bottle with the note beforehand.

    Or just forgo the dummy message and go straight for the end result. He sounds like such a douche that he's going to drink it and ignore the message. I may be wrong but clearly labeling it and him ignoring it is his own issue and not you delibratelly poisoning him.

    That's a great idea, and I don't see how I could be in the wrong for doing it.
    Is it just milk? My friend here at school hates his roomates and got sick of buying milk every week, so he used the cord lock he bought for his laptop that he never used and tied the handle of the milk to the inside of the door (in a way that made it really hard to lift and pour). Its your property, you can lock it if you want.

    You might also be able to get some thin but still lockable boxes at an office shop for loser things, you could put an gel ice pack in it to help cool the inside initially and then let the fridge handle the rest.


    Just an idea that is slightly less illegal/harmful/makeing a shitty batroom.

    It's not just milk, but that's the majority of it. And it's also the part that irritates me the most. But, probably only because I can quantify how much he's stolen as the jugs I keep my milk in also have masurements.

    Falhurk on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Poisoning food that you intend for someone else to eat/drink is a crime. Stop advising it.

    Thanatos on
  • a penguina penguin Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    As much fun as alot of this sounds, with crazy ass friends like that who leave notes and whatnot, I'd be concerned about what they're leaving in your milk.

    My advice: Buy small serving amounts and pre-packaged stuff until you move out. Leave nothing for them to steal/ contaminate.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled vengence.

    a penguin on
    This space eventually to be filled with excitement
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Alright, but are there any other things that anyone can think of that may dissuade my shit-head roomate from eating my stuff?

    Falhurk on
  • FalhurkFalhurk Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    a penguin wrote: »
    As much fun as alot of this sounds, with crazy ass friends like that who leave notes and whatnot, I'd be concerned about what they're leaving in your milk.

    My advice: Buy small serving amounts and pre-packaged stuff until you move out. Leave nothing for them to steal/ contaminate.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled vengence.

    Yeah, that's probably the best course of action. Albeit not as fun as vengence.

    Falhurk on
  • GrundlterrorGrundlterror Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Poisoning food that you intend for someone else to eat/drink is a crime. Stop advising it.

    Not like theres any evidence all over the internet of him planning it or anything... I'm sure he'll get away with it!
    I'm joking, dont do this

    Grundlterror on
    steam_sig.png
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Document shit, take pictures, move out, go to small claims court. It would be pretty hilarious and if/when he blows up the reason is a matter of public record.

    Otherwise if you're confident that he still has illegal stuff in the apartment consenting to a search would be hilarious (though pretty likely to end up in some bad repercussions, like being jumped by his buddies/business associates.)

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    edited April 2007
    Falhurk wrote: »
    Alright, but are there any other things that anyone can think of that may dissuade my shit-head roomate from eating my stuff?

    Food coloring might work. It's harmless for you in small quantities, but can make some stuff you make or buy look nasty. Yellow or green milk probably wouldn't look so appetizing.

    Steel Angel on
    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
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