I am ticklish, but you really have to catch me off guard in order to get a reaction. I usually just don't react so that people won't bother.
I've been trying to convince my husband about some of this not making our daughter give hugs/ get tickles/etc if she doesn't want to. It's exacerbated by his mom being very touchy-feely while also taking outsized offense if somebody is not. I am not a hugger, and I was essentially guilted into hugs+kisses (it's how the French do it all the time lol). My husband thinks I'm just projecting my feelings. Right now,our daughter seems to like the attention (more tickles, mommy! I need hugs and cuddle!) I just hope I can help her set boundaries if she does start to feel the need for them.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Ugh his one quote is sickening, and like, he's saying it in a way that I think he thinks is defending himself, but my god, it's the guiltiest thing ever!
"I don't hear her say anything. And I don't feel her say anything. And so I continue and I go into the area that is somewhere between permission and rejection. I am not stopped I go into the area that is somewhere between permission and rejection. I am not stopped," Cosby testified
Ugh his one quote is sickening, and like, he's saying it in a way that I think he thinks is defending himself, but my god, it's the guiltiest thing ever!
"I don't hear her say anything. And I don't feel her say anything. And so I continue and I go into the area that is somewhere between permission and rejection. I am not stopped I go into the area that is somewhere between permission and rejection. I am not stopped," Cosby testified
That is fucking nauseating.
+39
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
At this point, if he's convicted, he'll likely spend the remainder of his life behind bars.
And I hope he does.
+16
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
I am ticklish, but you really have to catch me off guard in order to get a reaction. I usually just don't react so that people won't bother.
I've been trying to convince my husband about some of this not making our daughter give hugs/ get tickles/etc if she doesn't want to. It's exacerbated by his mom being very touchy-feely while also taking outsized offense if somebody is not. I am not a hugger, and I was essentially guilted into hugs+kisses (it's how the French do it all the time lol). My husband thinks I'm just projecting my feelings. Right now,our daughter seems to like the attention (more tickles, mommy! I need hugs and cuddle!) I just hope I can help her set boundaries if she does start to feel the need for them.
It is a super uncomplicated concept, I've found. People want to make it complicated because "kids are supposed to..." and "they'll get over it" and it's just what you do when you play with kids. Except it's awful.
If they don't look like they're enjoying it, and give any of a thousands signals to tell you that this is not what they want right now, then stop. It's just like with anyone else in your life. Don't assume they're having fun because you are, actually pay attention to them. It's pretty easy to tell.
If a family member is doing something and it's making your kid unhappy, then suffer through the moment of awkwardness it will cause and stick up for your kid. It's easier for you than them. It shows them two things: 1) that you are safety in a situation with other people who may or may not hear them and 2) how to stick up for other people who maybe aren't being seen or heard.
edit: THERE IS NO PLACE BETWEEN PERMISSION AND REJECTION WTF EVEN IS THAT.
Can you show me where on the map that is, Mr. Cosby.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
My two cents: I've said yes to sex because I knew it would turn into a verbal tirade if I said no. It was absolutely rape, and there is nothing I can do about it except pick up the pieces.
Psychological abuse is one of many reason why this shit happens. She mostly likely doesn't realize she raped me, either. Just glad she's gone.
Miss me? Find me on:
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The outcry of black people that I normally respect going to bat for Cosby is incredibly disappointing
With stuff like, the Man is only doing this to take our minds off Tamir Rice
Or did you know he was going to buy NBC?
It's some reaaaaaal bullshit
This saddens me. I'm a woman and a human first, so obviously I'm against rape, sexual assaults, molestation, etc. However, there is much more to this story that a lot of you wont even understand. I don't even believe that in this day and time ppl brains even expand as far as this situation really goes. The reality is this man #BILLCOSBY was getting ready to take over a huge television network called #NBC. Which would have open doors for ppl of color to be on a major television station much more often. He's was speaking on positive opportunities in the black community, on race issues and things he believed black ppl should do to get ahead. Then and ONLY then did these outlandish accusations from 30... THIRTY YEARS AGO come out about him. One by one. When a black man is "getting too big for his bridges" Hollywood, white America has to stop him. Now he's been indicted on charges for something allegedly happen 10 years ago. This 78, lets just say 80. This 80 year old man is now in prison on a 1 million dollar bail for extremely old UNPROVEN accusations. When he should be home preparing to die, because let's just face it, he's gonna die soon and now instead of dying for being one of the greatest of all time! For being a positive successful huge black public figure, he now has to die with this stigma on him as a serial rapist. Same thing they did to Michael Jackson. The craziest part is that they don't even have to try hard because black ppl doing the dirty work for them. Working against their own. Believing the hype. Black men, comedians, etc making jokes and accusing Bill. Black Women going against him don't even know the facts or wether it's even true. Just running w/accusations. Think about this #StephenCollins the father off "Seventh Heaven" was accused of and admitted to CHILD MOLESTATION and no one is talking about it. The show also airs faithfully on television still. That's what you call #whiteprivilege. As long as black men are selling drugs and encouraging black ppl to do drugs and disrespecting our women and things like that they are ok with you. The minute you try to spread positivity into your black community and make major moves BE CAREFUL.
0
UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
Wait, is he buying NBC or is he at home preparing to die?
Also "in jail on $1 million dollars bail" is both wrong in this instance and also not how bail works.
I had a discussion on these forums about a local lawyer who had been convicted of rape (his defense was that he didnt drug the victim, she was just really drunk). That conviction has since been overturned, but at the time the poster felt, like the woman quoted above, that the defendant had been unfairly singled out because he was black, and that a white lawyer in the same position would have been acquitted if he'd been charged at all.
In both cases my feeling is the same - yes, there's a good chance that a white person of equivalent fame or success would get away with the same crimes, but that doesn't mean that Cosby or that lawyer should have been allowed to get away with it as well. White privilege and rape culture make an ugly but all too effective combo, and the solution is hold more people responsible, not fewer.
Also there is literal video footage of R. Kelly committing statutory rape and he got away with it and still has a successful career, so while I do feel that society does try to diminish the accomplishments of truly great black performers (Kanye for a modern example, or all that Beyonce vs Beck crap), it seems to me like this bit of intersectionality still favours male rapists over female victims, even if the rapists happen to be black.
I lost the ability to focus on that garbage conspiracy theory at bridges. Maybe if they would of gotten the phrase right.
But sorry no you don't get to accuse 50+ women of being false flags just to support your conspiracy theory. That's exactly what it is. It's a conspiracy theory and they're perpetuating rape culture just to support their pet theory.
Some people just really want to believe that Cosby is still a hero. It's a big person to lose, and that goes double for the black community. I didn't want to believe it, I really didn't. He was a hero to me growing up. His comedy was one of the things my father and I bonded over.
I'm glad that there's a real shot at justice being done. I didn't think that was possible.
I have my old Cosby Cassettes of his standup i used to listen to as a kid into my teens, its one of those things where now listening to them would feel completely different knowing now what I do, That bubble got popped for me, but i understand that's a thing that can happen, the person you had a lot of respect for at one point turns out to be awful, or have done something so awful its inexcusable.
Some people just refuse to believe that perfect bubble they have in their mind is just not real
Marty: The future, it's where you're going? Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
There are people I admire, but the only real heroes in my life are people I know personally. Public personas are just that, a persona, and may not represent the actual person at all.
+2
UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
The problem with anyone being thought of as a hero OR a villain is that it keeps us fixed in place. Expectations are set. Mistakes a "hero" makes feel like a betrayal or are instantly forgiven, legitimately good acts in good faith that a "villain" performs are handwaved or made out to be a trick. Regardless of if you're on a pedestal or in a pit, there's a long way to go before you reach solid ground. Instead of thinking of a person as a whole, they become a symbol.
UnbrokenEva on
+23
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
But the things he's actually said have been pretty gross, I don't know how to ignore that.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
+2
HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Hero and villain are simple narrative terms for simple ideas. Real life is more complex, and thus demands more than just simple labels as shorthand descriptors.
Save heroism for fables. Look to examples, instead.
The outcry of black people that I normally respect going to bat for Cosby is incredibly disappointing
With stuff like, the Man is only doing this to take our minds off Tamir Rice
Or did you know he was going to buy NBC?
It's some reaaaaaal bullshit
This saddens me. I'm a woman and a human first, so obviously I'm against rape, sexual assaults, molestation, etc. However, there is much more to this story that a lot of you wont even understand. I don't even believe that in this day and time ppl brains even expand as far as this situation really goes. The reality is this man #BILLCOSBY was getting ready to take over a huge television network called #NBC. Which would have open doors for ppl of color to be on a major television station much more often. He's was speaking on positive opportunities in the black community, on race issues and things he believed black ppl should do to get ahead. Then and ONLY then did these outlandish accusations from 30... THIRTY YEARS AGO come out about him. One by one. When a black man is "getting too big for his bridges" Hollywood, white America has to stop him. Now he's been indicted on charges for something allegedly happen 10 years ago. This 78, lets just say 80. This 80 year old man is now in prison on a 1 million dollar bail for extremely old UNPROVEN accusations. When he should be home preparing to die, because let's just face it, he's gonna die soon and now instead of dying for being one of the greatest of all time! For being a positive successful huge black public figure, he now has to die with this stigma on him as a serial rapist. Same thing they did to Michael Jackson. The craziest part is that they don't even have to try hard because black ppl doing the dirty work for them. Working against their own. Believing the hype. Black men, comedians, etc making jokes and accusing Bill. Black Women going against him don't even know the facts or wether it's even true. Just running w/accusations. Think about this #StephenCollins the father off "Seventh Heaven" was accused of and admitted to CHILD MOLESTATION and no one is talking about it. The show also airs faithfully on television still. That's what you call #whiteprivilege. As long as black men are selling drugs and encouraging black ppl to do drugs and disrespecting our women and things like that they are ok with you. The minute you try to spread positivity into your black community and make major moves BE CAREFUL.
I don't want to say that I agree, but man I can sure see where that angst is coming from.
The whole thing is just hugely disappointing. I can empathise to a certain extent: I adored Rolf Harris when I was a kid. I used to watch Jim'll Fix It. What even the hell? I needed these people to be good guys and I'm Mr Cis Het White Male. What must that lady be feeling? I didn't need them remotely as much as she needed Bill Cosby to be a good guy.
So maybe don't be calling bullshit on her so much. Don't only 'normally' respect her.
I mean, it's hard to believe in other people. Even if I know them. How hard would it be for a reasonably intelligent person to hide this kind of stuff?
Marty: The future, it's where you're going? Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
I don't think you get to really choose whether people are heroes or not, mechanically speaking.
You either trust people and hold them in high esteem or you don't. Or maybe that's just my perspective because I do have a hero in my older brothers.
There's not any sort of mental switch where I could turn off that emotional attachment to them.
I'd say that you can have grounded perspectives and expectations of your heroes though.
I admire as heroic peoples' qualities and deeds but not the entire person because everyone's got a flaw somewhere and recognizing that doesn't have to take away from what you admire about a person, except for when people turn out to be monsters. Then you can be disappointed.
0
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Commander Shepard is my hero
+12
Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
I don't really understand the way people treat their celebrity heroes.
I mean I get having heroes. My hero growing up was Tom Waits. I think he is a great guy with a ton of qualities I want to emulate.
But at the same time, I always understood that I don't actually know anything about him. He could be a horrible husband, father and friend. He could have been atrocious to every girl he ever dated. I don't think he is, but I have no way of knowing.
But it seems like people want to believe that they really know their heroes despite all evidence to the contrary.
I don't really understand the way people treat their celebrity heroes.
I mean I get having heroes. My hero growing up was Tom Waits. I think he is a great guy with a ton of qualities I want to emulate.
But at the same time, I always understood that I don't actually know anything about him. He could be a horrible husband, father and friend. He could have been atrocious to every girl he ever dated. I don't think he is, but I have no way of knowing.
But it seems like people want to believe that they really know their heroes despite all evidence to the contrary.
Desperately wanting to believe the comforting lie instead of the harsh truth is possibly the most human thing.
Posts
I've had lessened pain reception since birth, which affects a bunch of things, but also ability to be tickled. Much reduced.
I've been trying to convince my husband about some of this not making our daughter give hugs/ get tickles/etc if she doesn't want to. It's exacerbated by his mom being very touchy-feely while also taking outsized offense if somebody is not. I am not a hugger, and I was essentially guilted into hugs+kisses (it's how the French do it all the time lol). My husband thinks I'm just projecting my feelings. Right now,our daughter seems to like the attention (more tickles, mommy! I need hugs and cuddle!) I just hope I can help her set boundaries if she does start to feel the need for them.
http://www.npr.org/2015/12/29/461409275/under-u-k-law-jail-time-for-psychologically-abusive-partners
i hope it works out.
Of course, the judge actually said "Good luck, Mr. Cosby" so I'm not exactly filled with optimism about the outcome
Also weren't most of his victims drugged? yeah dude I'm not sure this is coming off the way you think it is coming off.
That is fucking nauseating.
And I hope he does.
It is a super uncomplicated concept, I've found. People want to make it complicated because "kids are supposed to..." and "they'll get over it" and it's just what you do when you play with kids. Except it's awful.
If they don't look like they're enjoying it, and give any of a thousands signals to tell you that this is not what they want right now, then stop. It's just like with anyone else in your life. Don't assume they're having fun because you are, actually pay attention to them. It's pretty easy to tell.
If a family member is doing something and it's making your kid unhappy, then suffer through the moment of awkwardness it will cause and stick up for your kid. It's easier for you than them. It shows them two things: 1) that you are safety in a situation with other people who may or may not hear them and 2) how to stick up for other people who maybe aren't being seen or heard.
edit: THERE IS NO PLACE BETWEEN PERMISSION AND REJECTION WTF EVEN IS THAT.
Can you show me where on the map that is, Mr. Cosby.
Psychological abuse is one of many reason why this shit happens. She mostly likely doesn't realize she raped me, either. Just glad she's gone.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
With stuff like, the Man is only doing this to take our minds off Tamir Rice
Or did you know he was going to buy NBC?
It's some reaaaaaal bullshit
Also "in jail on $1 million dollars bail" is both wrong in this instance and also not how bail works.
I had a discussion on these forums about a local lawyer who had been convicted of rape (his defense was that he didnt drug the victim, she was just really drunk). That conviction has since been overturned, but at the time the poster felt, like the woman quoted above, that the defendant had been unfairly singled out because he was black, and that a white lawyer in the same position would have been acquitted if he'd been charged at all.
In both cases my feeling is the same - yes, there's a good chance that a white person of equivalent fame or success would get away with the same crimes, but that doesn't mean that Cosby or that lawyer should have been allowed to get away with it as well. White privilege and rape culture make an ugly but all too effective combo, and the solution is hold more people responsible, not fewer.
Also there is literal video footage of R. Kelly committing statutory rape and he got away with it and still has a successful career, so while I do feel that society does try to diminish the accomplishments of truly great black performers (Kanye for a modern example, or all that Beyonce vs Beck crap), it seems to me like this bit of intersectionality still favours male rapists over female victims, even if the rapists happen to be black.
But sorry no you don't get to accuse 50+ women of being false flags just to support your conspiracy theory. That's exactly what it is. It's a conspiracy theory and they're perpetuating rape culture just to support their pet theory.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I'm glad that there's a real shot at justice being done. I didn't think that was possible.
Some people just refuse to believe that perfect bubble they have in their mind is just not real
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
Hero and villain are simple narrative terms for simple ideas. Real life is more complex, and thus demands more than just simple labels as shorthand descriptors.
Save heroism for fables. Look to examples, instead.
I don't want to say that I agree, but man I can sure see where that angst is coming from.
The whole thing is just hugely disappointing. I can empathise to a certain extent: I adored Rolf Harris when I was a kid. I used to watch Jim'll Fix It. What even the hell? I needed these people to be good guys and I'm Mr Cis Het White Male. What must that lady be feeling? I didn't need them remotely as much as she needed Bill Cosby to be a good guy.
So maybe don't be calling bullshit on her so much. Don't only 'normally' respect her.
You can find heroes all around. Generally they can't find good writers, inkers and letterers though.
I like the idea of heroism, and I like the idea of people being heroic, the specific acts of heroism
But conflating the one with the other is a mistake
A hero is an action, not a person
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
You either trust people and hold them in high esteem or you don't. Or maybe that's just my perspective because I do have a hero in my older brothers.
There's not any sort of mental switch where I could turn off that emotional attachment to them.
I'd say that you can have grounded perspectives and expectations of your heroes though.
Which one: Space Jesus or Asshole Space Jesus?
RIP in peace Binky.
I mean I get having heroes. My hero growing up was Tom Waits. I think he is a great guy with a ton of qualities I want to emulate.
But at the same time, I always understood that I don't actually know anything about him. He could be a horrible husband, father and friend. He could have been atrocious to every girl he ever dated. I don't think he is, but I have no way of knowing.
But it seems like people want to believe that they really know their heroes despite all evidence to the contrary.
https://medium.com/@alascii
Desperately wanting to believe the comforting lie instead of the harsh truth is possibly the most human thing.