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It's the [Trans thread]!
The Betgirl
I'm Molly!Registered User regular
I'm Molly!Registered User regular
HI EVERYONE! Welcome to Trans Thread version…fuck I forgot the version number. There’s been a few of these. It’s really weird that the last one took over six months to get through, but that’s been kind of a nice change of pace! Feel free to talk and ask about anything related to The Genders (or lack thereof) in here.
I’m copying most of @ameybes ’s OP from the last trans thread because it was so good (and by most, I mean Damn Near All of it). The main difference between that thread and this thread is that obviously if you want something added to the OP, you can just PM me instead! Or @ me. I’m flexible. I think we did a lot better last time in terms of letting people talk more but honestly I don't know that I'm the best judge of that, so if there's anything at all you aren't comfortable with, please say so either in thread or PM someone about it; we're all doing our best to be more inclusive here!
I’m copying most of @ameybes ’s OP from the last trans thread because it was so good (and by most, I mean Damn Near All of it). The main difference between that thread and this thread is that obviously if you want something added to the OP, you can just PM me instead! Or @ me. I’m flexible. I think we did a lot better last time in terms of letting people talk more but honestly I don't know that I'm the best judge of that, so if there's anything at all you aren't comfortable with, please say so either in thread or PM someone about it; we're all doing our best to be more inclusive here!
ameybes wrote:Welcome, ladies, gents and others, to the latest installment of TRANS THREAD.
What is a trans?
Oh. Oh...cool. Umm....maybe start here? - http://transwhat.org/confused/
The intended theme of this thread is pretty much anything to do with gender identity and how people deal with it.
Who is this thread for?
Well, its in the Singularity Engine, so anyone really BUT:
- The people this thread is intended for is anyone who has a gender or does not!
- But also this thread is hopefully a safe space for people dealing with gender identity issues slightly more than those who are cis binary and not questioning.
So yeah, anybody, but DBAD. We just call it Trans thread because its quick shorthand.
I'm seeing a lot of terms that I have no idea what they are. Help!
- Agender: People who have little or no gender identity; not identifying as male or female to any significant extent.
- AFAB & AMAB: Means `Assigned Female At Birth' and `Assigned Male At Birth'.
- Cat lumps: boobs.
- Deadname: Referring to a person who is going through, or has completed gender transition by the name associated with a false gender. Sort of extends to using the wrong pronouns.
- FTM & MTF: stands for Female-To-Male or Male-To-Female, much less common now than trans man & trans woman (particularly due to prevalence of non-binary trans)
- Genderqueer: People with a non-binary gender identity usually identify under this label to some extent.
- Intersex: People who have a physically non-binary sex. Kinda like trans in some way, with a whole bunch of unique challenges.
- LGBTQQIA: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual.
- Trans Man and Trans Woman: Men & women who formerly were identified by a different gender at birth to their actual gender identity.
I really just did this part to remind people of cat lumps. Cat lumps are out there.
I would quite like to talk about an issue but I don't think I know much about gender identity, and I'm not sure how to post without getting my head bitten off. How do I avoid that?
OK, there's no hard and fast way to achieve this, but here are some things that may be helpful to keep in mind.
- Try not to define other people with what you say. This includes trying to theorize things like `trans women do this' or `so trans men are really blah'. Everyone is different.
- Feel free to Google your question (if any) first. I know, PA forums people are pretty cool and you'd rather ask e-buddies, but if you can find your answer in the first ten Google results, you can be reasonably sure people in this thread have heard your question a lot. If you can't, its probably a good one.
- Don't ‘deadname’ people who are going through, or have completed, gender transition. Its rude and triggering, its just...don't do it, OK?
- Avoid asking about people's ‘bits’. You know, hoo-has, or the meat and two veg. It’s really not your business.
- Take the answer in before arguing against it. Sometimes this gender identity stuff has a slow burn and it takes skull sweat & time for enlightenment to occur.
Didn't the last trans thread get really awkward? I remember it feeling kind of awkward near the end there (or earlier even).
Yes, it did get kind of awkward, and we heard from a whole bunch of people who felt uncomfortable posting in the thread. That is really...not good.
I'm really hoping that this time around the people who spoke up in the last trans thread feel welcome to contribute and not be turned off by perceived groupthink. Sadly even (other) trans people get things wrong sometimes, and being excluded suuuucks
So just to put it out there: IF YOU ARE POSTING IN THIS THREAD, PLEASE PUT IN THE CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO BE ACCEPTING OF OTHERS PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCES.
And as always, the Report button is there for people who are not happy with what is going on - calling in a moderator isn't `dobbing', its good sense when things seem wrong.
Links!
The Trans thread before last!
The last Trans thread!
If you'd like me to add some good stuff to the OP, flick me a PM and I shall do so! Ta!
The Betgirl on
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Posts
I can't believe I am feeling so good right after surgery, jesus. I look like a walrus thats been hit and run by a whale, but pain meds and my brain have been entertaining me and I feel fine.
The part I am super excited was a few hours ago when my brain somehow thought I was in Shadowrun and gave me installation updates on my Select Sound Filter (I have hearing aids RL), Cybereyes (I wear glasses) and some other stuff I can't renember right now that was on my augmented visual display during the catnap. Whatever I am on it is the shit.
Also if I have to be Bill from Left 4 Dead, I pick this hospital to have to escape from, it is swish and pretty roomy to avoid the zombs
Anyway, yay! The trans thread is dead, all hail the new trans thread!
I'm also glad you feel great now but, uh, prepare to feel not great in the next few days, surgery is always deceptive like that
Earlier today I found an old lesbian dating sim that I was the writer of and have been looking at concept art of it all day.
I've been gay for so long everyone.
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
the itching on my mons pubis
oh lord the itching
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I preferred the itching to the removal of the cast and catheter though.
I'm to excited about finding this so here's all the characters.
I may retackle this project and diversify it more.
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
those weren't as bad for me
there were some uncomfortable moments with the gauze, though
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Vicodin gives me serious mood problems, actually! (and also if i take it i have a lot of trouble peeing, so i can't : ( )
Trans thread, i'm out basically everywhere except work. and i want to be out at work, but I don't really know how to go about it.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
Vicodin is fine but I'm more of a Percocet girl. I should really have more life threatening medical emergencies, I miss that high
am out to my department people and my management, coming out to the rest of the company at a meeting (we're a small, maybe 30 person outfit) on Friday. happy to go into more detail on how we've done it so far either here or over PM, let me know if that'd help/be something anyone'd want to hear?
Does California have gender identity worker protection laws? I can't imagine they don't, because California, but every time something like this comes up I learn something new and terrible about my fellow man
Other than that it's deceptively easy to come out at work. Tell your boss first, depending on how big the workplace is they can either send out a memo or you can tell everyone personally. Tell HR if you have an HR department. Decide what you're comfortable with re: style of dress and presenting. It's not fair but once you're out people will expect stereotypes like dresses and makeup and shit. There can be no such thing as a butch transwoman, says society. So if you're 99% tshirts and jeans, like me, you're gonna have to explain to people that, yes, you still have to call me Mallory and respect my identity, even I've got stubble or am offended by my tshirt calling you s-a-w-f-t
Sure if you want?
The situation is that a new management company has just taken over. I've had to put in a new application for the position I'm in (and i'm hired, to be clear). I don't know if I'm on a new probationary period (I shouldn't be?) and I don't want to get dropped for coming out. On the other hand, I'm getting really tired of getting deadnamed all day and wearing shitty masculine clothing.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
Oh god it's true it's true I am sawft *sobs openly*
I have to imagine we do but I have no fucking idea in reality. But yeah, I don't really know who HR is anymore and I only have 2 co-workers and a bunch of regulars so I'll have to explain it but gooooooood it's intimidating.
...I do wanna wear the pencil skirt I got to work though.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
mmk! everything Whippy said (especially the butch/femme policing for trans women in the workplace), plus:
I once stumbled onto this term on accident when I was referencing Antimatter in a conversation with a friend of mine, and nearly died laughing mid-sentence.
bleh lotta grossbills on the docket in my state
Ugh, of course there is.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Do people think the world actually operates like an 80s sitcom?
Honestly, given the timing of the bigger push for this crap, I'm guessing transwomen using bathrooms is the new boogeyman now that the Supreme Court put their foot down on Gay Marriage.
But even if it WAS really happening enough (if at all) to merit legislative action, this solution only causes more problems. The idea is, at the core, "protecting" women and girls from being arounds dudes in the ladies room, right?
Except there's a lot of ladies out there who were assigned male at birth. They would have to use the restroom with guys, in order to prevent ladies using the restrooms as guys.
And then transmen will be forced to use the ladies' room. Once again; to prevent ladies using the same restrooms as guys.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
I have mad respect for parents who take the initiative on that sort of thing.
I mean, the answer to how the logic works is that the people pushing this don't actually believe trans people exist and actually are of the opinion that a transman using the ladies is the correct way for things to work out.
It's not the Twilight Zone if you're willfully ignorant basically.
Exactly. The logic is internally consistent and also completely shitty.
and then.... there's this one from my lovely state.
Just. What the fuck?
let's not get it twisted: this ain't just a republican thing
To bounce off of this, one thing I've appreciated in the More than Meets the Eye series is not all of the robots have male human avatars.
Cyclonus, Tailgate and Bluestreak are all shown with female avatars. If I remember right, the series writer, James Roberts, said that the bots choose their avatars based on how they identify.
It's rather neat.
Well actually by and large, yes. It is. Out of curiosity I looked up the name of every representative attached to every bill in that article. The only Democrats attached to them are to be found in Illinois (1), Massachusetts (6), and Missouri (1).
So that's 6 Democrat representatives overall compared to the oh.... 141 Republicans.
Thanks, but that should just be the expected. Did not go over well with the wife, however. Thinks she - daughter - is way too young to read anything into the comments.
I remember reading some great articles by Antimatter on Women Write About Comics on how MtMtE deals with identity. It's really cool.