Learning to trust people again.

tokumei

So basically I have some issues trusting others, there was a period in which my depression was really bad, I mean really bad. Friends basically stopped being friends while this was happening so of course my main approach in life is to understand as a male no one gives a shit about ya and you're viewed as disposable unless you have extra resources. How do I learn to trust people again?

DouglasDanger

I would suggest therapy.

MamaWolf

Recognizing that you have trust issues is the first step in trusting others again. The next thing I would suggest is to open yourself to allowing others to open up to you, then you may in return feel comfortable to open up to them. You might want to start with "little things" like how your day was, or car trouble and see how they react from there. Patience on both sides is something to remember. Remember trust doesn't happen overnight and that people are often hard to read at first. Letting someone know off the bat that you have trust issues is a way to show that you are willing to work on them and trust someone at some point. I don't know if this is helping at all, but this is how I work through my trust issues, and now I have a group of friends that are loyal and honest. Remember that even though you may have gone through a lot, that people are willing to listen, just give them a shot. Those that are really worth having as a friend will stay by your side no matter what. "If a friend can't stand by you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best."

Joe.EXE

I agree with what MamaWolf said, starting small and taking baby steps can really help you get a long way. As someone that has some trust issues myself I have found that actually talking about anything that's bothering you with someone who is willing to open up about their problems to you as well can form a really strong relationship with that person. I would offer more advice but I am just now coming to terms with some of my issues as well so there's only so much information I can give. I hope this helps at least a little.

TOGSolid

I got abandoned by a lot of friends in my twenties and ended up with some pretty negative views of other people for a long time. I've only recently started to truly come around and it took a combination of things.

First off was just getting the hell out of that initial social circle. For me, it all started with going to PAX and meeting people there. I ended up with a lot of new, proper friends that, for once made me feel like I was wanted around. That did a lot to help start with me getting myself on track.

I ended up moving out of state completely but that's also because I was in small town Alaska on an island. My options were pretty limited to say the least. I actually moved to Washington to be with everyone I had met at PAX and it's proven to be an amazing decision. I don't know where you live but if it's a decent sized area at least I'd start looking into other communities and potential hobbies to break into new social circles and form new fledgling friendships. Don't move too quickly or you can burn yourself out. Just go slow and feel things out, just don't let any nagging internal voices discourage you. There are people out there that are super great, caring folks just like there are total shit heads. The trick is not letting the shitheads get you down and holding on to the rad people you meet along the way.

If you continue to have issues then there really is no shame in getting professional help. Mental health gets shit on by society but the brain is a machine and sometimes needs the help of a mechanic to get it running proper again.