The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
My girlfriend cheated on me
MarkPorter
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
I am not sure if this is the right forum to post something like this, but at this point I really need your advice.
I was with my girlfriend for one year, we were from different countries, so was a long distance relationship. She was from Germany and I am from Madrid.
She came to Madrid a couples of times and we started there, she told me that she was still a virgin even if she was 22 because she didn't want to be with many guys, just if she is sure. So well, I waited three month to have sex with her and never though on cheating or whatever, and I am not sure how many guys nowadays would have done something like that.
After a few months I moved to Sweden to study for six months, we would see each other one week per month as usually. Everything was okay, I have never cheated on her during my time abroad or thought about doing it, even if I had a lot of opportunities since I was in a residence with girls from all around the world. When she came the last time to Uppsala, we had a bad week, we discussed, got annoyed.. was the first bad week we had. The last day she was crying because she thought that I was going to break with her. I had everything to do it. Instead I told her that I loved her, that we were going to be allright and in the summer we would see each other much more time. That was the first time I told her I love you, and she did it too. Well, two weeks after that she cheated on me.
So at this point I am like: How is possible that a person cheats on me when she told me her first 'I love you' in almost one year. How is possible that she has done something like that after being studying abroad and being the only one of 100 persons who didn't cheat on his partner.
I tried to speak with her. She doesn't want to speak with me, is being rude. She told me that she will probably regret but now has to do her own way. That I am acting childish when I am trying to get her back. And she is telling me that she is following her feelings.
I mean, I had showed her that I really loved her by being loyal when no one else did, after supporting always her, treating her as a princess. Her family knew me and they loved me. Sometimes I though that our relationship was too complicated and we were too young for that, but then I remembered that she hadn't had a easy life, that her mum had cancer and she was having a bad time, and I just thought on her sometimes and how I would break her heart.
I want to take her back, because I can't belive that a person has changed that much in one year. But the person she is right now is discusting. She asked me if I could borrow her my apartment to spend some days while she was cheating on me. I mean, which kind of person do that.
How could I let her see that this new person she has became isn't worth, I will see her in one month and we will have the chance to speak. But from the other side I feel like I will never be able to forgive her for that and I won't be able to trust her never again. So I don't know what should I do or what should I say to her after what she did to me.
I hope you can give me some advice..
I was with my girlfriend for one year, we were from different countries, so was a long distance relationship. She was from Germany and I am from Madrid.
She came to Madrid a couples of times and we started there, she told me that she was still a virgin even if she was 22 because she didn't want to be with many guys, just if she is sure. So well, I waited three month to have sex with her and never though on cheating or whatever, and I am not sure how many guys nowadays would have done something like that.
After a few months I moved to Sweden to study for six months, we would see each other one week per month as usually. Everything was okay, I have never cheated on her during my time abroad or thought about doing it, even if I had a lot of opportunities since I was in a residence with girls from all around the world. When she came the last time to Uppsala, we had a bad week, we discussed, got annoyed.. was the first bad week we had. The last day she was crying because she thought that I was going to break with her. I had everything to do it. Instead I told her that I loved her, that we were going to be allright and in the summer we would see each other much more time. That was the first time I told her I love you, and she did it too. Well, two weeks after that she cheated on me.
So at this point I am like: How is possible that a person cheats on me when she told me her first 'I love you' in almost one year. How is possible that she has done something like that after being studying abroad and being the only one of 100 persons who didn't cheat on his partner.
I tried to speak with her. She doesn't want to speak with me, is being rude. She told me that she will probably regret but now has to do her own way. That I am acting childish when I am trying to get her back. And she is telling me that she is following her feelings.
I mean, I had showed her that I really loved her by being loyal when no one else did, after supporting always her, treating her as a princess. Her family knew me and they loved me. Sometimes I though that our relationship was too complicated and we were too young for that, but then I remembered that she hadn't had a easy life, that her mum had cancer and she was having a bad time, and I just thought on her sometimes and how I would break her heart.
I want to take her back, because I can't belive that a person has changed that much in one year. But the person she is right now is discusting. She asked me if I could borrow her my apartment to spend some days while she was cheating on me. I mean, which kind of person do that.
How could I let her see that this new person she has became isn't worth, I will see her in one month and we will have the chance to speak. But from the other side I feel like I will never be able to forgive her for that and I won't be able to trust her never again. So I don't know what should I do or what should I say to her after what she did to me.
I hope you can give me some advice..
0
Posts
This quote makes it sound like you guys are already broken up.
My advice is to stop contacting her, don't meet her and heal on your own. You can't convince someone to be with you if they don't want to and it sounds like she has her mind made up. Long distance relationships are hard and often don't work out, I'm sorry that happened to you but you need to accept that it's over. You don't need to forgive her, what she did wasn't right. But she also doesn't owe you an explanation or trying to fix a relationship she doesn't want anymore.
On the other, you are acting like a goose and have a lot of very creepy, very controlling language in this mess of a post that, were I talking with her, would lead me to encourage her to never talk with you again.
It's over. Don't talk with her anymore, she clearly isn't interested anyhow. Chalk it up to lesson learned and don't try for long distance relationships.
You're right: people don't usually change very much over a year. But people often have conflicting motives and desires, and those can change quickly, especially when you're young. You only knew what she was like when she was only interested in you. Now you know her better. Is that really someone you want to get back together with?
Move on with your life. Remember that while this girl wasn't worth your trust, there are plenty of others who are. You've shown you can be trusted; be proud of that. There might come a time when you'll be tempted to be the the first to cheat, just to avoid the hurt and humiliation of being the only faithful partner in a relationship. Don't do that. I remember going down that road, back when dinosaurs walked the earth, and nothing good comes out of it.
Move on, dude. It's over.