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Paying my dad to work on my house
SeñorAmor
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My dad is a semi-retired carpenter and all-around handyman. As I lack the requisite skills (and patience, and desire) to do major work on my house, he has helped me over the years remodel a good deal of my house (kitchen counters, doors, built a room in my basement, etc...). While I'm always there to "help" when he's over, I'm usually in the way, and he ends up doing the bulk of the work while I do more menial tasks.
I feel bad asking him to help so much, and have said as much, but he always says he doesn't mind and that he's my dad and it's his job to help me when I need it. I've never offered money (mostly because I don't think he'd take it), but instead pay him in food, and it's a good excuse for him to come over and see his grandkids.
That said, we've been working on a basement bathroom and the project has dragged on for well over a year, much to my wife's chagrin. I've never pressed my dad on getting the projects done in a timely fashion despite the majority of them taking longer than I had expected. He often comes over late in the day, restricting the amount of time we can do work, and also often cancels. While it bothers me to leave a project left undone, I understand he probably doesn't want to come work on my house after working on the same thing during the day (semi-retired).
I've been thinking about paying him to do the rest of the work on my house so it seems more like a job and less like an annoying chore, but I'm concerned he might get offended or think that I'm being impatient or rude. Would I be out of line offering to pay him for his time and expertise so I could finally get this bathroom completed or is it not a good idea to suggest it?
Thanks in advance.
I feel bad asking him to help so much, and have said as much, but he always says he doesn't mind and that he's my dad and it's his job to help me when I need it. I've never offered money (mostly because I don't think he'd take it), but instead pay him in food, and it's a good excuse for him to come over and see his grandkids.
That said, we've been working on a basement bathroom and the project has dragged on for well over a year, much to my wife's chagrin. I've never pressed my dad on getting the projects done in a timely fashion despite the majority of them taking longer than I had expected. He often comes over late in the day, restricting the amount of time we can do work, and also often cancels. While it bothers me to leave a project left undone, I understand he probably doesn't want to come work on my house after working on the same thing during the day (semi-retired).
I've been thinking about paying him to do the rest of the work on my house so it seems more like a job and less like an annoying chore, but I'm concerned he might get offended or think that I'm being impatient or rude. Would I be out of line offering to pay him for his time and expertise so I could finally get this bathroom completed or is it not a good idea to suggest it?
Thanks in advance.
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Let him know that if that's not something he is interested in complying with, then you will proceed on your own with another contractor (maybe he can recommend someone) and that will have no bearing on your relationship.
I would probably phrase it differently. Like in passing mention that you would like to get the bathroom done and have a few vacation days coming up that you can work with him to knock it out...try to nail him down to a completed project...instead of offering him cash, take him shopping, maybe there is a tool he might be looking at he likes that he probably wouldnt spend the money on himself, then get it for him when the job is done as a thank you gift.
Other then this, there is no way to do this. It's the trade off you made.
I would say, hey, I feel like I've overloaded you with work and I don't want this cool thing we do to become and obligation and a chore. I was thinking about getting someone to wrap up this bathroom project because the wife and I want it done sooner, but maybe next time you can come over and hang with the kids and we can plan our next project, or finally get going on *insert other smaller project here*.
I have an uncle who's quite handy and we've had to remove some of his workload more forcibly, but hes basically the family consultant on everything. He still gets to hang out and help on projects but not always doing the heavy lifting helps. He's gotten to the point that hes done so many projects he doesn't really need to feel like he had his hands on everything.
From my view, its not like you are trying to tell him hes doing bad work or something like that, so there's no reason not to be honest here. You're worried about damaging a time you really like with your dad. I think expressing that will get the problem resolved without having to skate around the issue.