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Presidential Election 2016! (NO posting Onion or other satirical articles)

24567101

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  • Options
    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Because of course.
    ALEX JONES: And then of course we’ve got the other controversy. Somebody’s got a screaming baby, probably a plant, right up in the front, howling like it’s the end of the world. And Trump’s just real. He says “hey, get that screaming baby out of here,” just like when they say we’re not doing the Star-Spangled Banner, he says we’re doing it. Or when somebody starts a fight to distract everything he says, “Take them outta here, stop being so easy on ‘em, when somebody’s punching people.” That’s why they’re scared of Trump, he’s real.

    Is there anything Alex Jones doesn't see as a planted conspiracy?


    "Went to the turlet, they ain't had no paper. I thought just bought some a few weeks ago? This is all just a ruse to make it look like I shit my pants, but the joke's on you, ISIS!"

    Atomika on
  • Options
    enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    Heard more than one person speculate he's addicted to amphetamines.

    Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
  • Options
    jmcdonaldjmcdonald I voted, did you? DC(ish)Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    xsr4176s2buk.jpg

    look at this:

    "For 11 minutes, Trump kept it together"

    "Flip-Flop much?"

    "Clinton Camp just shakes its head"

    This is CNN here. Top headline.

    this fuckin' election man.

    edit

    plus the dude laughing and pointing in the background

    jmcdonald on
  • Options
    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Preacher wrote: »
    The Fox crosstabs also showcase that it's Gen X that sucks, not the Boomers.

    Said that for years.

    it absolutely is both

    Xers were the last to benefit from the birthright laid out by the greatest generation, and they may not have been the ones who started pulling up the ladder, they also didn't try to stop it, and now that they're equal partners in politics they're helping more often than not

    they recognized how shitty their parents were becoming, and they didn't do anything about it

    e: and once again here I will point out that people who say that all we have to do to make things better is wait for the boomers to die out have got some real fanciful ideas about how ideology propagates across generations--it's not like Paul Ryan is a boomer, just as one example

    Shorty on
  • Options
    Desktop HippieDesktop Hippie Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

  • Options
    hippofanthippofant ティンク Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Because of course.
    ALEX JONES: And then of course we’ve got the other controversy. Somebody’s got a screaming baby, probably a plant, right up in the front, howling like it’s the end of the world. And Trump’s just real. He says “hey, get that screaming baby out of here,” just like when they say we’re not doing the Star-Spangled Banner, he says we’re doing it. Or when somebody starts a fight to distract everything he says, “Take them outta here, stop being so easy on ‘em, when somebody’s punching people.” That’s why they’re scared of Trump, he’s real.

    I posted this in the last thread, but here it is again: a Canadian reporter's eyewitness account of the event - No, Donald Trump did not eject a baby
    The baby was one row in front of me, three or four rows from the stage, at Trump’s event at a high school in Ashburn, Va. ...

    A joke? Possibly. An insensitive, heartless, ordinary-person-embarrassing remark? Possibly. Trump’s tone is eternally hard to read. But, to my eyes, it certainly was not an ejection — it was an unusually barbed endorsement of the mother’s own decision to depart.

    hippofant on
  • Options
    Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    xsr4176s2buk.jpg

    look at this:

    "For 11 minutes, Trump kept it together"

    "Flip-Flop much?"

    "Clinton Camp just shakes its head"

    This is CNN here. Top headline.

    this fuckin' election man.

    edit

    plus the dude laughing and pointing in the background

    https://youtu.be/zDAmPIq29ro

  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    I'd call him the Rorschach candidate, because the GOP is realizing that he's not trapped in the party with them - they're trapped in the party with him.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    jmcdonaldjmcdonald I voted, did you? DC(ish)Registered User regular
    hippofant wrote: »
    Because of course.
    ALEX JONES: And then of course we’ve got the other controversy. Somebody’s got a screaming baby, probably a plant, right up in the front, howling like it’s the end of the world. And Trump’s just real. He says “hey, get that screaming baby out of here,” just like when they say we’re not doing the Star-Spangled Banner, he says we’re doing it. Or when somebody starts a fight to distract everything he says, “Take them outta here, stop being so easy on ‘em, when somebody’s punching people.” That’s why they’re scared of Trump, he’s real.

    I posted this in the last thread, but here it is again: a Canadian reporter's eyewitness account of the event - No, Donald Trump did not eject a baby
    The baby was one row in front of me, three or four rows from the stage, at Trump’s event at a high school in Ashburn, Va. ...

    A joke? Possibly. An insensitive, heartless, ordinary-person-embarrassing remark? Possibly. Trump’s tone is eternally hard to read. But, to my eyes, it certainly was not an ejection — it was an unusually barbed endorsement of the mother’s own decision to depart.

    it doesn't matter how many times you post it, it doesn't make Trump look any better.

    he's a douche either way.

  • Options
    JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    Well that's disappointing.

  • Options
    AbsalonAbsalon Lands of Always WinterRegistered User regular
    edited August 2016


    REALITY IS A MOCKUMENTARY SITCOM.

    He's just... He's just staring right ahead like an albino deer in the headlights.

    Baudrillard would have burned his entire oeuvre, pointed at this election and said "Yeah this is basically the human, societal and civilization-wide condition. That's what I want to say. As a phenomenon, we are going bazookas."

    Absalon on
  • Options
    Desktop HippieDesktop Hippie Registered User regular
    Jragghen wrote: »
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    Well that's disappointing.

    I liked him better when he was talking to chairs.

  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    Clint Eastwood has plummeted as a person I used to like.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    Oh good. I'm sure the GOP is just begging for more of Eastwood's ad libbed "help"

  • Options
    Desktop HippieDesktop Hippie Registered User regular
    Absalon wrote: »


    REALITY IS A MOCKUMENTARY SITCOM.

    He's just... He's just staring right ahead like an albino deer in the headlights.

    Baudrillard would have burned his entire oeuvre, pointed at this election and said "Yeah this is basically the human, societal and civilization-wide condition. That's what I want to say. As a phenomenon, we are going bazookas."

    It's 12:30am here and I'm trying so hard not to wake the entire house laughing at that video.

  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    Absalon wrote: »


    REALITY IS A MOCKUMENTARY SITCOM.

    He's just... He's just staring right ahead like an albino deer in the headlights.

    Baudrillard would have burned his entire oeuvre, pointed at this election and said "Yeah this is basically the human, societal and civilization-wide condition. That's what I want to say. As a phenomenon, we are going bazookas."

    "Sorry I just had to take a moment to scream internally there, I should be good for at least 45 minutes now"

  • Options
    notdroidnotdroid Registered User regular
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

  • Options
    Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Via a tweet from Cher

    Yes I follow her

    Co-Iw0QVIAA7vB-.jpg

    My only critique is that the T should have been a Purple Heart.

    steam_sig.png

    Battlenet ID: MildC#11186 - If I'm in the game, send me an invite at anytime and I'll play.
  • Options
    jmcdonaldjmcdonald I voted, did you? DC(ish)Registered User regular
    notdroid wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

    Fry has the Trump hair down already.

    Truly, we are living in the future.

  • Options
    Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    Crazy old man yells at chair. News at 11.

    steam_sig.png

    Battlenet ID: MildC#11186 - If I'm in the game, send me an invite at anytime and I'll play.
  • Options
    AbsalonAbsalon Lands of Always WinterRegistered User regular
    edited August 2016
    This republican is one of the Good Ones but he still has misgivings about Trump's opponent because:

    Co-Kp1xUAAAADtP.jpg:large

    Yes, the bourgeoisie/the newspaper reading 'middle'/neo-liberal watchdogs/'moderate' republicans and their nearest philosophical similars are still utterly goddamn diseased in terms of judgment, morals, fairness and perspective, why do you ask?

    Absalon on
  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    notdroid wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

    Fry has the Trump hair down already.

    Truly, we are living in the future.

    Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

  • Options
    Havelock2.0Havelock2.0 Sufficiently Chill The Chill ZoneRegistered User regular
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    notdroid wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

    Fry has the Trump hair down already.

    Truly, we are living in the future.

    Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

    I want a refund

    I've seen things you people wouldn't believe
  • Options
    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    oh god

    can we take his oscar back

  • Options
    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Even Fox News is starting to show signs of potential self awareness.

    Or could just be an accident.

  • Options
    silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    What is even happening in this election? While I was catching up in the last thread, where there was a several page discussion about KFC. I took a break, and when I tuned back in, there were about 50 new pages of posts, and we were in yet another new thread.

    Did something big happen that everyone is talking about it non stop?

  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    notdroid wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

    Fry has the Trump hair down already.

    Truly, we are living in the future.

    Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

    I want a refund

    i can give you a quarter for the suicide booth, will that do?

  • Options
    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    The Fox crosstabs also showcase that it's Gen X that sucks, not the Boomers.

    Really, you're going to characterize a generation off a 6 percentage point difference?

  • Options
    Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    Fuck Oliver North.

  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Pretty sure they didn't even think about having a traitor like Ollie North on to bash Obama on Iran.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Clint Eastwood has come forward to defend Trump in his hour of need!

    He says that we're a "pussy generation" and need to "get over" Trump's racism because in his day "these things weren't called racist."

    I'm not kidding. That's what he said.

    oh god

    can we take his oscar back

    can we give it to the empty chair?

  • Options
    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    What is even happening in this election? While I was catching up in the last thread, where there was a several page discussion about KFC. I took a break, and when I tuned back in, there were about 50 new pages of posts, and we were in yet another new thread.

    Did something big happen that everyone is talking about it non stop?
    More like a ton of things that would ordinarily be in a day's news cycle happening in one day.
    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/first-read-gop-trump-go-unraveling-break-glass-mode-n622116

  • Options
    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    What is even happening in this election? While I was catching up in the last thread, where there was a several page discussion about KFC. I took a break, and when I tuned back in, there were about 50 new pages of posts, and we were in yet another new thread.

    Did something big happen that everyone is talking about it non stop?

    hahaha man

    it's been a constant stream of wtf since like Friday even

    welcome to the new normal

  • Options
    SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    hippofant wrote: »
    Because of course.
    ALEX JONES: And then of course we’ve got the other controversy. Somebody’s got a screaming baby, probably a plant, right up in the front, howling like it’s the end of the world. And Trump’s just real. He says “hey, get that screaming baby out of here,” just like when they say we’re not doing the Star-Spangled Banner, he says we’re doing it. Or when somebody starts a fight to distract everything he says, “Take them outta here, stop being so easy on ‘em, when somebody’s punching people.” That’s why they’re scared of Trump, he’s real.

    I posted this in the last thread, but here it is again: a Canadian reporter's eyewitness account of the event - No, Donald Trump did not eject a baby
    The baby was one row in front of me, three or four rows from the stage, at Trump’s event at a high school in Ashburn, Va. ...

    A joke? Possibly. An insensitive, heartless, ordinary-person-embarrassing remark? Possibly. Trump’s tone is eternally hard to read. But, to my eyes, it certainly was not an ejection — it was an unusually barbed endorsement of the mother’s own decision to depart.

    it doesn't matter how many times you post it, it doesn't make Trump look any better.

    he's a douche either way.
    I don't think the point is to make him look better, it's to highlight the bizarreness of it.

    It's a bit difficult to capture my impression of it, but it feels like he just cannot have people disobeying him. He says the baby is great, it should stay. He sees the mother leaving, he needs to be the one telling her to leave. She can't "contradict" his earlier comment, he needs to be the one ordering her to go.

    I mean, that attitude also feels incredibly bizarre to me, but it's the best explanation I can come up with.

    (Assuming he didn't just not notice her leaving.)

  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    What is even happening in this election? While I was catching up in the last thread, where there was a several page discussion about KFC. I took a break, and when I tuned back in, there were about 50 new pages of posts, and we were in yet another new thread.

    Did something big happen that everyone is talking about it non stop?

    Trump. Trump happened, and he keeps happening.

  • Options
    Havelock2.0Havelock2.0 Sufficiently Chill The Chill ZoneRegistered User regular
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    jmcdonald wrote: »
    notdroid wrote: »
    Wraith260 wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Has Trump even hinted at gun control of any flavour?

    Trump is the Rorschach candidate. Or no, I think someone in the last thread said it better by calling him the quantum candidate: he simultaneously supports every position.

    Maybe the more you know Trump's position on an issue is, the less you can know Trump's momentum on the issue. There is a fundamental limit to the precision those two variables can be known.


    Is he going to build a wall on the Florida border?

    Given Trump's cadence when speaking, I can only assume his plan for the cocaine is to snort all of it.

    Because jesus christ, every speech he gives is like being trapped next to a coke-fiend who had many opinions about things and wishes to share all of them via stacking them on top of each other.

    would certainly fit with his '80s business man villain' aesthetic.

    '80s businessman you say?

    Trump's criticism of Obama:
    https://youtu.be/6CGbXqFfRo8
    Trump's concrete policy plan:
    https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

    Fry has the Trump hair down already.

    Truly, we are living in the future.

    Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

    I want a refund

    i can give you a quarter for the suicide booth, will that do?

    Might as well

    I've seen things you people wouldn't believe
  • Options
    Desktop HippieDesktop Hippie Registered User regular
    I've been following JJ MacNab on Twitter since the Oregon Standoff. She's a font of information when it comes to soverign citizens, domestic extremist groups and militias in the US. She just retweeted the following link to an article breaking down the militia violence Trump is likely to incite even if he loses. It paints a grim picture.

  • Options
    Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Is there a page that keeps up on this stuff with a concise list, because trying to keep up with this thread isn't easy, and I've been home all week!

    Undead Scottsman on
  • Options
    Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    Couscous wrote: »
    What is even happening in this election? While I was catching up in the last thread, where there was a several page discussion about KFC. I took a break, and when I tuned back in, there were about 50 new pages of posts, and we were in yet another new thread.

    Did something big happen that everyone is talking about it non stop?
    More like a ton of things that would ordinarily be in a day's news cycle happening in one day.
    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/first-read-gop-trump-go-unraveling-break-glass-mode-n622116

    I know it doesn't count since it happened later than that, but don't forget the one member of the Electoral College who announced his EC vote will go to Clinton.

  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I've been following JJ MacNab on Twitter since the Oregon Standoff. She's a font of information when it comes to soverign citizens, domestic extremist groups and militias in the US. She just retweeted the following link to an article breaking down the militia violence Trump is likely to incite even if he loses. It paints a grim picture.


    Eh these people talk and talk but they didn't do shit when Obama was elected twice, they'll not do shit when Hillary gets elected. Maybe they'll go out and take over another bird sanctuary, but they won't do an armed revolution.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
This discussion has been closed.