What are the tales they tell you, where you're from? Do they tell you of the heroes of old, fighting in vain against nature herself? Do they tell you of how the world was drowned in fire and storm? Or do they just tell you that this is how the world has always been?
See, where I'm from, they never tell us about any of that shit. The only tale we tell our children is that life is an awful struggle and that what comes after isn't any better. No stories of dusky maidens or flowing liquor or comfortable beds; all that waits for us is the land of salt and grey. It's why all us fuckers from Portend cling so damn hard to life. It's shit, but it's the best we're going to get.
Which is why I'm here, you see. Things in Portend are never good, but right now? We've got darkness on the horizon. The damn politicians - or whichever pricks pass for them - are scrapping, as is their fucking wont. But our supplies are running low, and whenever that happens we all know that blood's going to hit the water sharpish. So I'm here, because I need a fucking crew to make sure I'm the seadog who winds up at the head of the pack.
This is my offer; drink up, and join me in a new life as a pirate of Portend. Or would you rather sit here, wasting your damn life away in this pisshole?
So. What d'you say?
What's this?
This is a phalla.
Phalla? What's that?
The forum's version of the party game, Mafia.
See here for more details. General rules apply, including no anonymous contact between players, direct quoting of role PMs, etc. I don't care about paraphrasing role PMs. If you set up an off-site proboard, please PM me the link to it.
Every day you must vote for a player who you wish to have eliminated. Please
!vote in red and
!retract in lime. Retractions are not necessary; only your last vote will be counted.
Days will end at 3am BST. Don't necessarily expect a "day end" post, although votes and orders received after that point will not be counted.
Alright. What's the twist?
There are a few. This isn't a standard phalla, so please read carefully.
Player Roles and Objectives
The majority of players will be pirates of the city of Portend, and will share an objective to rid the city of any threats to its stability. Do not necessarily assume that someone who has a role other than a pirate of Portend is a threat to the city. Please also do not assume that objectives can not change as the game progresses.
Player Actions and Abilities
Each night, every player may choose to perform one of the following actions. To submit an order, please send a private message to me.
Assault - Choose a target player and damage them that night. See
Combat for an explanation of this ability.
Piracy - Leave Portend for the night to go raiding, in order to acquire new treasures.
Drink - Crack open the rum. This may lead to a variety of effects.
Many players may have actions available to them other than these, which will be listed in their role PM. Be warned that the usage of many actions is dependent on landmarks in Portend remaining standing, as detailed in the City of Portend section of the rules.
Some players may also have passive abilities, which are used automatically and do not need to be assigned a target. These abilities will be clearly marked in your role PM.
The City of Portend
The island city of Portend is famed mostly for its rowdy populace, but it also contains a number of landmarks which are notable. These structures enable the use of various player abilities, although if - for some reason - they are damaged to the point of reaching 0 HP then players may no longer take these actions. Once a landmark has reached 0 HP, it is destroyed and its HP cannot be altered.
Forge (10 HP) - Enables weapon and armour upgrades.
Harbour (10 HP) - Allows players to engage in piracy each night.
Mortuary (10 HP) - Reveals causes of death in nightly narrations.
Sacred Cave (5 HP) - Enables divination abilities to be used.
The Lock and Sabre Pub (10 HP) - Allows the drink action to be taken.
Player Statistics and Items
Every player will have three statistics; Hit Points, Attack, and Defense. Hit Points indicate how much damage a player can take, and the average player will have 5 HP. Attack and Defense are tied to the items that a player has; weapon will determine Attack, and armour provides Defense. Players will begin the game with a weapon and armour, and may either find new items or upgrade their existing ones by taking various actions. Note that you may not ever have more than one weapon or armour; if you find a new item you will automatically discard the weaker one. You may also not trade with another player.
Players will also have a special item slot, which may be filled with a variety of miscellaneous trinkets. Players may only ever have a single special item.
Combat
When an Assault action is taken against a target player, the victim's Defense value is subtracted from the assaulter's Attack value to determine how much damage the victim receives. For instance, if a pirate with 2 Attack used Assault on a landlubber with 1 Defense, the landlubber would lose 1 HP.
If a player reaches 0 HP, they are dead. This is generally seen as a bad thing.
Please be warned that my games frequently include experimental mechanics which may or may not be perfectly balanced. If you are a looking for a game which features a vig, guard and standard mafia you might want to sit this one out. If you are looking for a game which might feature
multiple timelines,
tentacle monsters or
Vlads then I encourage you to sign up.
Rules clarifications
Please ask rules queries by tagging me in your post, "
@Burnage".
If the attack value is less than the defense value, will a) the defender gain health, b)the attacker take damage, or c) nothing will happen stop asking dumb questions.
Nothing will happen. The defender will lose 0 HP.
We can't drink and pirate at the same time? What kind of pirates are these anyways?
Due to chronic alcoholism and hardened livers, there is not enough room on your ships to carry sufficient quantities of alcohol for you to become inebriated.
The last pirate of Portend to attempt this was the late Rickard of Arlington, who several decades ago vowed to set sail while imbibing large quantities of rum and subsequently had his ship sink an eighth of a nautical mile from Portend's harbour, solely due to the weight of the kegs. Unfortunately for Rickard, both he and his crew were too drunk to swim back, and many in Portend still say you can hear his final cries of mirth on stormy nights.
If you'd like to set sail to Portend, please
sign up in green.
Posts
Player List:
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
Steam profile
The C
His true love is the C.
Oh my god yes.
A T. They are always booing it.
Their letter of marque and reprisal.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrj8EZm9ca8
Confusion will be my epitaph
Because people are always tellin' me to get the L out of here!
The best number by far in an underappreciated Muppet movie.
It's what I overheard in the apple barrel.
!!! You have spotted a wild Infidel !!!
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Should be 10pm ET, 7pm PT.
What about R?
In a ship with multiple levels of deck exposed to the air, it is the elevated deck at the ass end of the ship.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
2pm new zealand time, the same day as bst, next day est
reserve
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I dig it.
Day 1 deaths last game:
Grunt's Ghosts
Sir Fabulous
Day 2 deaths last game:
Egos
Void Slayer
AustinP0027
Smasher
JPants
Preda
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Probably about as much as it would've if this were Portland-based.