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Ain't Talkin' 'Bout [Love]

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Posts

  • DouglasDouglas PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Hm, yeah I couldn't handle the chance that no one would text me

    People I consider my friends rarely text me.

    I've got maybe six people I consider close friends, I work with two of them, three of them live hours away.

    I worry that I'm getting on the two coworker friends nerves.

    I'm almost always the one who begins text or physical conversations.

    I know I have this stressed out exhausted vibe going on, and i have a reputation as a shy guy, but I am so lonely.

  • JenneroseJennerose Registered User regular
    What's a good baseline texting amount for friends? I alternately worry I'm being annoying or negligent.

    Sorce wrote: »
    Find out if/when your friends' phones are on silent, then never stop texting. Or at least, text as comfortably often as you want. Just realize that no one probably texts as much or as little as you because people are different.

    There's friends of mine I'll text nearly every day for one thing or another, and some friends where it's every couple of months. Both are fine.

    I've been doing a lot of brooding, you know?

    And wondering how many people saw my divorce as an opportunity to stop talking to that weird Douglasdanger guy, who always sort of had this awkward annoying thing going on.

    And sometimes friends will see me on my phone and say something like "I hope you're not texting so and so! I've heard the word 'stalker' and the phrase 'restraining order' used in the same sentence!"

    And my confidence is way down and my anxiety/self-consciousness is way up.

    And I can't tell if people are joking or giving gentle "I pity this weird guy" hints.

    And I'm afraid to ask if they're joking or not, becuase what if they are not!

    I would ask directly when someone says that to you - if they're joking, that gives you an opportunity to tell them that the jokes upset you (and if they don't immediately apologize and lay off, that tells you they are not good friends) and if they aren't joking, that SUUUUUCKS but also gives you information to work with.

    As someone with an anxiety disorder and self-esteem issues, I've discovered over time that knowing, even if it hurts, is better than wondering.

  • DouglasDouglas PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Thanks for the advice, peeps.

    I'm going to call my family doctor office tonight when I get home and see what the process entails.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Sorce wrote: »
    I mean, if you want the nuclear option, get rid of all your contacts without telling anyone and see who actually calls/texts you. I don't really recommend it though because not even the best friends (or family!) will always be in constant contact.

    Relatedly, if you wanted a sign it's time to talk to a professional, this is it.

    Yeah that option is risky because there will always be people in your social circle like me, who DO care but for various reasons are really bad at initiating contact.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    Jennerose wrote: »
    As someone with an anxiety disorder and self-esteem issues, I've discovered over time that knowing, even if it hurts, is better than wondering.

    This shit right here.

    Nervously worrying about whether or not someone feelings a certain way is so much worse than being told they don't like me much.

    Because, even if knowing that hurts, it turns an unknown into a static variable that I can move on from.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    Platy on
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    Based on what I've seen, I wouldn't call Tynic's hair long. But I would describe it as "plentiful".

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    Based on what I've seen, I wouldn't call Tynic's hair long. But I would describe it as "plentiful".

    If it lashes out it can be measured in yards.

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    Based on what I've seen, I wouldn't call Tynic's hair long. But I would describe it as "plentiful".

    muscular

    swole even

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    Based on what I've seen, I wouldn't call Tynic's hair long. But I would describe it as "plentiful".

    muscular

    swole even

    A regular swoldilocks, she is.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2016
    tynic wrote: »
    Homestuck "music video"

    Who's that in the artwork - she looks a bit like you, tynic

    An original character based, I believe, on the composer's girlfriend.

    Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is a really good album, btw.

    She was also part of the art team. We don't look alike but both have short dark curly hair, so in cartoon form there's a resemblance.

    I never thought of your hair as short

    But I grew up in an isolated area where no one would wear their hair longer than shoulder length

    When I first went to Germany, I was suddenly surrounded by long luscious locks everywhere and it was a shock

    And german women's haircuts tend to still be shorter than Americans.
    Somewhere, there is video footage of one of my (US) friends standing half-naked on a table in a bar in Bielefeld, shouting "I love German women, and their lesbian haircuts!"

    tynic on
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    Moving to the US would've probably killed me then

    I think haircuts were so short where I grew up because we never stopped living in the 90s

    Platy on
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    German women in this nice bar I am in mostly have short hair

    In other news Germany is fun! I'm a liiiittle drunk and very tired.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    German women in this nice bar I am in mostly have short hair

    In other news Germany is fun! I'm a liiiittle drunk and very tired.

    Is that not simply the German Experience?

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    German women in this nice bar I am in mostly have short hair

    In other news Germany is fun! I'm a liiiittle drunk and very tired.

    Is that not simply the German Experience?

    no, German Experience is a little drunk and very serious

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    I am watching a documentary about paramedics

    paramedics

    you are amazing

    I love you

    I love the NHS

    the end.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Have you hugged a paramedic today?

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    I would hug a paramedic so fucking hard

    I sound drunk but I'm not I'm just full of rice and love for paramedics. They do a grand job.

  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Have you hugged a paramedic today?

    nah, just one

    HEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    I would hug a paramedic so fucking hard

    I sound drunk but I'm not I'm just full of rice and love for paramedics. They do a grand job.

    I have a ton of respect for them, for sure. Such a stressful and difficult job.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I ended up having a whiskey sour last night.

    It was enjoyable.

  • QuetziQuetzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderator mod
    If you want to bring your whiskey sours to the next level, try shaking them with a raw egg white

    It makes it oh so smooth

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited October 2016
    I mean this was just a mix because I'm lazy

    But maybe I'll try that next time I make one from scratch

    Moriveth on
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    If you want to bring your whiskey sours to the next level, try shaking them with a raw egg white

    It makes it oh so smooth

    You're god damned right it does.

    Fuck off and die.
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Are Doritos and Mountain Dew actually marketed to gamers in the US

    I remember the first time I had a Mountain Dew, I expected to be blown away and then it was just some generic citrus-flavored soft drink

  • KetarKetar Registered User regular
    Are Doritos and Mountain Dew actually marketed to gamers in the US

    I remember the first time I had a Mountain Dew, I expected to be blown away and then it was just some generic citrus-flavored soft drink

    Are they marketed to gamers? Very much so. Both have done promotions with Call of Duty before where you would get codes from their packaging that could be redeemed for double XP bonuses and other things.

  • KwoaruKwoaru Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    Mountain Dew Game Fuel is a very real product

    Kwoaru on
    2x39jD4.jpg
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Mountain Dew has an annual specialty product called Gamer Fuel. This year it's a mango-flavored drink. It's actually pretty good, although I think I'd get sick of it pretty quickly if I drank it regularly.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Mt. Dew?

    You mean...

    *puts on RAZR headset logs into Twitch TV 360 noscopes scrub gg*

    GAMER FUEL?

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Goddammit you guys are too fast with the posting jeezum

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I don't know what I expected

    Maybe stuff to suddenly explode around me

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I don't know what I expected

    Maybe stuff to suddenly explode around me

    Did that not happen? Weird.

    That's actually the reason I cut back on the Dew. Too expensive.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I'm afraid that if I someday visit the US, I'm going to have a lot of similar experiences

    Like a mild version of Paris syndrome

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I have a colleague who was similarly crushed by his first experience with a Twinkie.
    But if you steer clear of the snack food, the rest is pretty much exactly like TV told you it would be.

  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    Hm, yeah I couldn't handle the chance that no one would text me

    People I consider my friends rarely text me.

    I've got maybe six people I consider close friends, I work with two of them, three of them live hours away.

    I worry that I'm getting on the two coworker friends nerves.

    I'm almost always the one who begins text or physical conversations.

    I know I have this stressed out exhausted vibe going on, and i have a reputation as a shy guy, but I am so lonely.

    I have a vaguely similar situation with my friends.

    Forgive the assumptions but I'm guessing most of your friends are male? I've found that my friends are utter rubbish at being able to deal with emotional situations.

    One of my friends has split up with his partner of 9 years . Despite us being a largeish friendship group he's said several times he's only been able to talk to me about problems because the other guys just can't process what to say/do.

    I don't see my friends very often despite the fact they lives minutes walk away. They all work 9 - 5 Monday to Friday and I work shifts on a weird pattern. Instead of approaching me saying they haven't seen me etc they talk about me not going to stuff amongst their selves and then it becomes a thing and I become that guy who doesn't so anything.

    However, they do actually miss me, but they don't feel able to actually talk to me like an adult about it.

    Basically what I'm saying is that I appreciate you're in a hard place but I think your friends do want to speak to you but they might be too worried about not being able to support you.

    Hope this makes sense!

    SharpyVII on
  • Desert LeviathanDesert Leviathan Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    Are Doritos and Mountain Dew actually marketed to gamers in the US

    I remember the first time I had a Mountain Dew, I expected to be blown away and then it was just some generic citrus-flavored soft drink

    Mountain Dew gets its association with Gamers from being on the upper end of caffeine content for sodas. Most things more caffeinated than Mountain Dew either involve Coffee in some way, or are actual Energy Drinks, which tend to be a bit too pricey for bulk consumption.

    So if you regularly want to stay up all night pwnzoring n00bs, and you're a teenager who doesn't just own his own coffee machine, Mountain Dew occupies a sweet spot at the intersection of low price and how long it will get you buzzed.

    Desert Leviathan on
    Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
  • DouglasDouglas PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    Hm, yeah I couldn't handle the chance that no one would text me

    People I consider my friends rarely text me.

    I've got maybe six people I consider close friends, I work with two of them, three of them live hours away.

    I worry that I'm getting on the two coworker friends nerves.

    I'm almost always the one who begins text or physical conversations.

    I know I have this stressed out exhausted vibe going on, and i have a reputation as a shy guy, but I am so lonely.

    I have a vaguely similar situation with my friends.

    Forgive the assumptions but I'm guessing most of your friends are male? I've found that my friends are utter rubbish at being able to deal with emotional situations.

    One of my friends has split up with his partner of 9 years . Despite us being a largeish friendship group he's said several times he's only been able to talk to me about problems because the other guys just can't process what to say/do.

    I don't see my friends very often despite the fact they lives minutes walk away. They all work 9 - 5 Monday to Friday and I work shifts on a weird pattern. Instead of approaching me saying they haven't seen me etc they talk about me not going to stuff amongst their selves and then it becomes a thing and I become that guy who doesn't so anything.

    However, they do actually miss me, but they don't feel able to actually talk to me like an adult about it.

    Basically what I'm saying is that I appreciate you're in a hard place but I think your friends do want to speak to you but they might be too worried about not being able to support you.

    Hope this makes sense!

    Yeah, four of the six are dudes

    In related news, I got out of work too late to call the doctor.

  • PeasPeas Registered User regular
    There was this really cute lady who was going to board the same train as me and i was going all doki doki like the animes last night

    I waited for the next train though because I don't want to feel like a creep

  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Jumping back a page for a sec

    Yes, paramedics are amazing. All of the ones I know are so lovely and brave and so strong.

    I'm pretty sure they could all literally crush me if they so wished, including one of the ladies who is shorter than me.

  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    Oh dear

    I had an OKC date tonight, and while the guy was very nice, he was also super nervous and awkward. He was nerdy, he was not my kind of nerdy. He's more of a listen-to-ten-hours-of-history-podcasts-a-week-and-play-Warhammer type. Which is....not really my thing.

    And he was also super into me while I was super not into him.

    I did manage to escape after just the one beer though, and it was also good to get practice in, and also to not get murdered by a man from the internet. So I mean, no harm done, but I'm gonna feel a bit bad shutting him down later.

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
This discussion has been closed.