[Uwe Boll] has retired. The end of a craptacular era.

cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
872960-uwe_boll_finger.jpg
Ah, Uwe Boll. The pugnacious maker of many, MANY shitty video game movies. We all kind of figured he'd fart out flicks based on games we had mostly forgotten about for eternity, but nope, he's folding up his director's chair.
“The market is dead,” he adds, “you don’t make any money anymore on movies because the DVD and Blu Ray market worldwide has dropped 80 per cent in the last three years. That is the real reason; I just cannot afford to make movies.”

“I can’t go back to student filmmaking because I have made so many movies in my life, and I can’t make cheaper and cheaper movies at my age. It’s a shame. I would be happy to make movies but it is just not financially profitable.”

But at least he's proud of one thing:
“I never had people giving me money,” he says.
“I’ve been using my money since 2005 and if I hadn’t made the stupid video game based movies I would never have amalgamated the capital so I could say, ‘Let’s make the Darfur movie.’ I don’t need a Ferrari, I don’t need a yacht. I invested in my own movies and I lost money.”

...which is a big, fat lie. IGN noted he's had MULTIPLE failed crowdfunding campaigns. Here's what he had to say when the third one blew up in his face:
"So, basically, my message is f*** yourselves. It looks like no one gives a s*** about Rampage 3 so maybe I shouldn't do it then. I have enough money to play golf 'til I'm dead.

"I wanted to do Rampage 3 because it is an important movie, but it looks like you are easier [sic] giving $600k to make a movie about some r******d wizard in the forest or some Marvel Avengers bulls*** dirt. So goodbye and goodbye Hollywood."

He tried to direct a Warcraft movie, but Blizzard's Paul Sams responded saying "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you…especially not to you."

His last movie is in fact Rampage 3: President Down, which sadly isn't a politicized take on Midway's old giant monster smasher. Is he proud of it? Eehhhh....
“Rampage 3 will be watched on Netflix, DVD or iTunes or whatever,” he says. “They’ll say, ‘That wonderful movie! I liked it blah, blah, blah,’ then watch Avengers.

In terms of video game, his final flop count includes House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Far Cry, Postal, two Bloodrayne movies and somehow THREE Dungeon Siege movies.

Oddly enough, though Boll came about at a time when Hollywood didn't really respect video games, we're getting all kinds of actually watchable video game movies now.

May as well give Boll the final word:
“Now when I don’t make any more movies,” he says, “maybe they’ll find the time to actually watch the movies, starting with Postal in 2005, the movies of the last ten years. They will see they were a lot of very interesting movies and a lot of movies that I think made sense and said a point about things. They deserve to be discussed bigger than they were.”

Switch: 3947-4890-9293
Skull2185ElvenshaeEl Mucho

Posts

  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Ha! "Goodbye Hollywood"

    I can only think of Tony Stark's line to Ant-Man in Civil War: "Remind me, who are you again?"

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
    ElvenshaeShadowfireRMS Oceanic
  • ZavianZavian Senātus Populusque Rōmānus Registered User regular
    Never trust a troll. Especially a rich troll

  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Also, in regards to his "I've always used my own money" BS, weren't all of his earlier movies funded by German investors exploiting some kind of loophole?

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
    Elvenshae
  • ZavianZavian Senātus Populusque Rōmānus Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    Also, in regards to his "I've always used my own money" BS, weren't all of his earlier movies funded by German investors exploiting some kind of loophole?

    I think he set up his own tax shelter fund as a German citizen and company, so while the money came from wealthy German investors seeking tax write-offs it technically was his "own money". But yeah, never trust a troll cause they be trollin'

    Elvenshae
  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    Boll is the kind of turd that always floats to the top of the toilet.

    Sure, you might flush and swore it went down..but you come back an hour to piss and there it is, bobbing in the water and mocking you.

    He'll be back with another horrible movie, count on it.

    that's it, I'm shutting this entire forum down, everyone thank buttcleft
    tastydonuts
  • tastydonutstastydonuts Registered User regular
    Hey... the Dungeon Siege movies were surprisingly fun to watch.

    But then again, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Dolph Lundgren and the Prison Break guy (fake google edit: Dominic Purcell) make for a pretty watchable "set brain to neutral" type movies.

    The rest... yeah... kind bad.


    “I used to draw, hard to admit that I used to draw...”
  • baudattitudebaudattitude Registered User regular
    I still use "Bloodrayne" as a measure of movie quality.

    Like, if I see a really bad movie, I will say to myself "well, given the choice, would I watch "Bloodrayne" again before watching that movie again?"

    Very few movies actually fail this test.

    ElvenshaeShadowfire
  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2016
    My first assumption is that he stopped because the German government was no longer subsidizing failed filmmaking efforts. Seems I was right.

    Sterica on
    YL9WnCY.png
    ElvenshaeHappylilElf
Sign In or Register to comment.