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[Uwe Boll] has retired. The end of a craptacular era.
cloudeagle
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ah, Uwe Boll. The pugnacious maker of many, MANY shitty video game movies. We all kind of figured he'd fart out flicks based on games we had mostly forgotten about for eternity, but nope, he's folding up his director's chair.
“The market is dead,” he adds, “you don’t make any money anymore on movies because the DVD and Blu Ray market worldwide has dropped 80 per cent in the last three years. That is the real reason; I just cannot afford to make movies.”
“I can’t go back to student filmmaking because I have made so many movies in my life, and I can’t make cheaper and cheaper movies at my age. It’s a shame. I would be happy to make movies but it is just not financially profitable.”
But at least he's proud of one thing:
“I never had people giving me money,” he says.
“I’ve been using my money since 2005 and if I hadn’t made the stupid video game based movies I would never have amalgamated the capital so I could say, ‘Let’s make the Darfur movie.’ I don’t need a Ferrari, I don’t need a yacht. I invested in my own movies and I lost money.”
...which is a big, fat lie. IGN noted he's had MULTIPLE failed crowdfunding campaigns. Here's what he had to say when the third one blew up in his face:
"So, basically, my message is f*** yourselves. It looks like no one gives a s*** about Rampage 3 so maybe I shouldn't do it then. I have enough money to play golf 'til I'm dead.
"I wanted to do Rampage 3 because it is an important movie, but it looks like you are easier [sic] giving $600k to make a movie about some r******d wizard in the forest or some Marvel Avengers bulls*** dirt. So goodbye and goodbye Hollywood."
He tried to direct a Warcraft movie, but Blizzard's Paul Sams responded saying "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you…especially not to you."
His last movie is in fact Rampage 3: President Down, which sadly isn't a politicized take on Midway's old giant monster smasher. Is he proud of it? Eehhhh....
“Rampage 3 will be watched on Netflix, DVD or iTunes or whatever,” he says. “They’ll say, ‘That wonderful movie! I liked it blah, blah, blah,’ then watch Avengers.
In terms of video game, his final flop count includes House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Far Cry, Postal, two Bloodrayne movies and somehow THREE Dungeon Siege movies.
Oddly enough, though Boll came about at a time when Hollywood didn't really respect video games, we're getting all kinds of actually watchable video game movies now.
May as well give Boll the final word:
“Now when I don’t make any more movies,” he says, “maybe they’ll find the time to actually watch the movies, starting with Postal in 2005, the movies of the last ten years. They will see they were a lot of very interesting movies and a lot of movies that I think made sense and said a point about things. They deserve to be discussed bigger than they were.”
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I can only think of Tony Stark's line to Ant-Man in Civil War: "Remind me, who are you again?"
Sure, you might flush and swore it went down..but you come back an hour to piss and there it is, bobbing in the water and mocking you.
He'll be back with another horrible movie, count on it.
But then again, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Dolph Lundgren and the Prison Break guy (fake google edit: Dominic Purcell) make for a pretty watchable "set brain to neutral" type movies.
The rest... yeah... kind bad.
Like, if I see a really bad movie, I will say to myself "well, given the choice, would I watch "Bloodrayne" again before watching that movie again?"
Very few movies actually fail this test.