Thanksgiving Food Porn and Miserable Family Story Thread!

spool32

Hello everyone! This thread is for your food photos and horror / awesome stories of food and family, blood relative and otherwise. Let's share at least some of the day with our friends here!
Remember to try and approach your political flashpoints with kindness and understanding, and I hope everyone else does the same for all of you.

So tell us about your plans! I'll go first:

I am cooking Thanksgiving for the first time in my life (with Belasco's help)!
My house has no floor in the living room!
My St. Bernard is still a puppy and sometimes tries to steal food off a table she can reach with all 4 paws on the floor!
My shower isn't draining and I think there's a cracked pipe in the foundation that my insurance won't fix!

Maybe this will all turn out well but we are definitely doing it on hard mode this year.

How is your Thanksgiving coming along? Are your relatives murdering each other over the election? What are your plans?


also: show me your turkey's sexy legs.

syndalis

I will take pics of my father's thanksgiving spread tomorrow.

He has been hard at work for a week on this meal.

It is my favorite meal of the entire year, every year.

AngelHedgie

So, this is the first year that we're doing Thanksgiving as an official family unit, with myself, Mrs. Hedgie, my father, and my mother in law.

Squirminator2k

I'm going to spend most of the day playing Rock Band alone.

I know, I know - my life is pretty great.

Havelock2.0

Only the grandparents are staying the night! I don't have to sleep in the trailer this year! Hooray!

Aioua

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

Podly

i did a lil mini dinner earlier this week with my gf

Hahnsoo1

I'm kind of panicking right now, because I'm not sure what I can cook and bring to Thanksgiving this year. I'm on a low-carb diet, so I know I'll have to make a low-carb cranberry sauce (just like the usual homemade cranberry sauce, but with artificial sweetener). Beyond that, I'm thinking riced cauliflower and maybe some sort of squash dish. Turkey is great for my diet, so that's good! I might want to make a low-carb dessert, too. But that's a lot of work.

spool32

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

Preacher

So its my sons first thanksgiving, and my mother in law to make it super special invited her neighbors and a guy who lost his wife to suicide this year.

I always knew my mother in law gave no shits about my family, but its always hard to see it so blatant.

Chanus

according to 538 the Lions game tomorrow is the most important game of the year so i'm pretty pumped to watch that

Doodmann

These are my weapons of choice this year.



and

http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/how-to-cook-perfect-turkey-61005.html

Aioua

spool32 wrote: »

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/11/the-food-lab-the-truth-about-brining-turkey-thanksgiving.html

there are graphs!



tl; dr
Brining helps keep the turkey from drying out, but now your turkey is full of flavorless water
Salting it (aka dry brine) has almost the same effectiveness, while keeping all the turkey flavor goodness
If you're baller you could just do neither and cook your turkey right
Do not attempt to brine your turkey with cider

Preacher

Also god damn you crazy ex girlfriend, its going to be so hard not to make that joke about his wife running away to a farm upstate.

Ok so maybe there is a reason my MIL hates me.

Podly

spool32 wrote: »

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

it's a more effective way of getting water weight out of meat

though proponents of a regular wet brine say it doesn't instill additional flavor

it's good for something like turkey because it takes up much less space (you can do it in your fridge in 24-36 hours instead of 2-3 days in a cooler) and you're gonna be slathering that shit in gravy anyways

also on the subject of turkey

REVERSE SEAR!

Jubal77

Happy Family Food Day all....

As a native I tend to relabel days that may be particularly stretching the truth or the like. But we celebrate it, at least around here, as best we can.

Chanus

Podly wrote: »

spool32 wrote: »

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

it's a more effective way of getting water weight out of meat

though proponents of a regular wet brine say it doesn't instill additional flavor

it's good for something like turkey because it takes up much less space (you can do it in your fridge in 24-36 hours instead of 2-3 days in a cooler) and you're gonna be slathering that shit in gravy anyways

also on the subject of turkey

REVERSE SEAR!

is that like when you shove a hot poker in and sear the inside of the turkey?

Doodmann

Crap, I needed to start that brine last night.

Preacher

Jubal77 wrote: »

Happy Family Food Day all....

As a native I tend to relabel days that may be particularly stretching the truth or the like. But we celebrate it, at least around here, as best we can.

I generally celebrate by going to Tulalip and giving them my money and then try and take it back.

syndalis

Jubal77 wrote: »

Happy Family Food Day all....

As a native I tend to relabel days that may be particularly stretching the truth or the like. But we celebrate it, at least around here, as best we can.

yeah, I don't think anyone really celebrates the truth behind the holiday any more, but the concept of people coming together and having a fantastic meal despite their differences is a good concept to have

Jubal77

syndalis wrote: »

Jubal77 wrote: »

Happy Family Food Day all....

As a native I tend to relabel days that may be particularly stretching the truth or the like. But we celebrate it, at least around here, as best we can.

yeah, I don't think anyone really celebrates the truth behind the holiday any more, but the concept of people coming together and having a fantastic meal despite their differences is a good concept to have

Yes. And that easily agreeable.

Aioua

https://twitter.com/GLOCKInc/status/798903478877847553

I'm not sure how to feel about this.

Preacher

Aioua wrote: »

https://twitter.com/GLOCKInc/status/798903478877847553

I'm not sure how to feel about this.

The duck tales remake is going to be live action?

Wraith260

Aioua wrote: »

https://twitter.com/GLOCKInc/status/798903478877847553

I'm not sure how to feel about this.

isn't that just a good way to ruin both of those things? i'm not entire sure what message is being sent.

Chanus

also totally not even cooked to perfection that crust looks raw

syndalis

I mean, a cake is a much better way to smuggle weapons into a prison also, at least that is what cartoons taught me.

Podly

also since i mentioned it in the chat thread

DON'T MAKE CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE!

it's so easy to make it 100x better from simply frozen cranberries, an orange, and cinnamon

just throw a bag of frozen cranberries, the juice from one orange, some cinnamon sticks, 3 cups water 2 cups sugar in a sauce pot or dutch oven

turn on high, bring to a boil, and reduce for like 45 mins - 1 hour (or longer depending on how powerful your range is)

*a note on reductions

the easiest way to gauge a reduction is not by volume usually, even though that's what most instructions say. rather, look at the bubbles. it will start with lots of very small bubbles. the less water, the bigger the bubbles. since we're going for a very syrupy reduction (1/3-1/4) wait until the bubbles look like a sci fi swamp than a frothy head of beer. once you cool it then it will become much more viscous. i like to serve it cold

syndalis

Podly wrote: »

also since i mentioned it in the chat thread

DON'T MAKE CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE!

it's so easy to make it 100x better from simply frozen cranberries, an orange, and cinnamon

just throw a bag of frozen cranberries, the juice from one orange, some cinnamon sticks, 3 cups water 2 cups sugar in a sauce pot or dutch oven

turn on high, bring to a boil, and reduce for like 45 mins - 1 hour (or longer depending on how powerful your range is)

*a note on reductions

the easiest way to gauge a reduction is not by volume usually, even though that's what most instructions say. rather, look at the bubbles. it will start with lots of very small bubbles. the less water, the bigger the bubbles. since we're going for a very syrupy reduction (1/3-1/4) wait until the bubbles look like a sci fi swamp than a frothy head of beer. once you cool it then it will become much more viscous. i like to serve it cold

Offer both.

Canned is a jelly basically, and works good with certain things.

Then make a boozy homemade cranberry sauce that is to die for.

edit: canned cranberry sauce is the perfect compliment to the post-meal thanksgiving dinner sandwich.

Aioua

You can't make canned cranberry sauce, you can only serve it. :razz:

I plan to serve both. A can of sauce is like a dollar, why not?

Preacher

Podly wrote: »

also since i mentioned it in the chat thread

DON'T MAKE CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE!

it's so easy to make it 100x better from simply frozen cranberries, an orange, and cinnamon

just throw a bag of frozen cranberries, the juice from one orange, some cinnamon sticks, 3 cups water 2 cups sugar in a sauce pot or dutch oven

turn on high, bring to a boil, and reduce for like 45 mins - 1 hour (or longer depending on how powerful your range is)

*a note on reductions

the easiest way to gauge a reduction is not by volume usually, even though that's what most instructions say. rather, look at the bubbles. it will start with lots of very small bubbles. the less water, the bigger the bubbles. since we're going for a very syrupy reduction (1/3-1/4) wait until the bubbles look like a sci fi swamp than a frothy head of beer. once you cool it then it will become much more viscous. i like to serve it cold

You do realize people like the canned stuff right? Like they don't want actual cranberry sauce?

OptimusZed

My wife is on call tomorrow.

So me and the 6 month old are doing thanksgiving as 2/3 of a family unit. He'll have some milk, I'm probably gonna have a sandwich.

Podly

Chanus wrote: »

Podly wrote: »

spool32 wrote: »

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

it's a more effective way of getting water weight out of meat

though proponents of a regular wet brine say it doesn't instill additional flavor

it's good for something like turkey because it takes up much less space (you can do it in your fridge in 24-36 hours instead of 2-3 days in a cooler) and you're gonna be slathering that shit in gravy anyways

also on the subject of turkey

REVERSE SEAR!

is that like when you shove a hot poker in and sear the inside of the turkey?

i'm assuming you're joking but

it's the opposite of the historical way of cooking roasts. old school you cook over high heat to get a crust and "seal the flavor in" (it doesn't do that) and then low and slow to bring the rest up to temp

it's much better to start low and slow until you get to about 140-145º and then crank the oven up to get it to 160 thigh meat

(i think 160 is turkey don't quote me)

Preacher

OptimusZed wrote: »

My wife is on call tomorrow.

So me and the 6 month old are doing thanksgiving as 2/3 of a family unit. He'll have some milk, I'm probably gonna have a sandwich.

Romantic comedies have taught me your supposed to bring her the entire thanksgiving meal along with some carolers.

Chanus

Podly wrote: »

Chanus wrote: »

Podly wrote: »

spool32 wrote: »

Aioua wrote: »

I am also hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Turns out you can get everyone to come to you. (As long as you buy a bunch of food and do a bunch of work...)

Anyway I'm a try doing a dry brine on the turkey this year. Also adding maple glazed acorn squash as a new non-traditional side dish.

Tonight I gotta make my pie and cranberry sauce.

talk to me about dry brine

it's a more effective way of getting water weight out of meat

though proponents of a regular wet brine say it doesn't instill additional flavor

it's good for something like turkey because it takes up much less space (you can do it in your fridge in 24-36 hours instead of 2-3 days in a cooler) and you're gonna be slathering that shit in gravy anyways

also on the subject of turkey

REVERSE SEAR!

is that like when you shove a hot poker in and sear the inside of the turkey?

i'm assuming you're joking but

it's the opposite of the historical way of cooking roasts. old school you cook over high heat to get a crust and "seal the flavor in" (it doesn't do that) and then low and slow to bring the rest up to temp

it's much better to start low and slow until you get to about 140-145º and then crank the oven up to get it to 160 thigh meat

(i think 160 is turkey don't quote me)

yes i was joking

but also yes people need to know this

no more dry turkey

Podly

Preacher wrote: »

Podly wrote: »

also since i mentioned it in the chat thread

DON'T MAKE CANNED CRANBERRY SAUCE!

it's so easy to make it 100x better from simply frozen cranberries, an orange, and cinnamon

just throw a bag of frozen cranberries, the juice from one orange, some cinnamon sticks, 3 cups water 2 cups sugar in a sauce pot or dutch oven

turn on high, bring to a boil, and reduce for like 45 mins - 1 hour (or longer depending on how powerful your range is)

*a note on reductions

the easiest way to gauge a reduction is not by volume usually, even though that's what most instructions say. rather, look at the bubbles. it will start with lots of very small bubbles. the less water, the bigger the bubbles. since we're going for a very syrupy reduction (1/3-1/4) wait until the bubbles look like a sci fi swamp than a frothy head of beer. once you cool it then it will become much more viscous. i like to serve it cold

You do realize people like the canned stuff right? Like they don't want actual cranberry sauce?

i could make a timely a propos quip concerning people making poor decisions

but i won't

Doodmann

Everything Podly is saying is the opposite of what Alton Brown says. I don't know what to think anymore!

see317

I've finished making my contribution to dinner.

The traditional thanksgiving lemon cheesecake.

Well, it should totally be a tradition.

Edit: Lessons learned:
Zest the lemons, then juice them. Trying to scrape deflated lemons across a zester is an exercise in annoyance.
Do not juice lemons if you have a hangnail. Lemon juice stings.

Preacher

Food Network keeps showing me a pumpkin pie cheese cake I'd love to try, but I am not Alex Guarnaschelli, so I'd mangle that so hard.

Podly

Doodmann wrote: »

Everything Podly is saying is the opposite of what Alton Brown says. I don't know what to think anymore!

with the turkey?

you can get great results the traditional way. some of best turkey i've had has been from chef bros cooked in the traditional manner

but those were also in industrial ovens from chefs

the reverse sear just leads to much less fucking up. no basting or any nonsense. just have an instant read digi thermometer and find a balance between checking too much (this screwing with the heat in the oven) and letting too much time go by

Chanus

food network recipes are usually needlessly complicated

OptimusZed

My wife's family typically has 3 different types of cranberry sauce on the table. Of the three, the one that's still can-shaped when it comes out is the best.

That said, cranberry sauce really isn't a part of thanksgiving I indulge in.