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Getting Suicide off my Mind
Crapoli
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi. Lurker. First post.
This problem is driving me mad. Maybe you can help me. I'm 17 and a junior in high school. I'm very confused right now... and I'm not sure what to do. I'm posting on internet forums about this!...
I've been depressed for the last five years or so. I've been having suicidal thoughts daily for the last three years! I feel better than I did a year ago, when I crashed for a few months, but I do not feel cured. I cannot keep doing this. I feel like my mind is literally broken and the only way to fix it is with a gun to the temple. I'm not even an adult and I've grown world weary. I've lost interest in everything. I feel like every day is exactly the same. I can't even remember where my youth has gone... I've done nothing with it!
I have too many problems to list. I don't even know how I've got this point. Sometimes I blame myself and sometimes I blame others: all those who picked on me every day and convinced me I am nothing but shit. I have no real friends. I completely fail to connect with people... I look at them, and many of them are enjoying life and relations and having fun. This makes me feel even emptier. I feel completely alone and without purpose, stuck on this fucking rock in my pathetic body.
I'm a gaming addict... specifically, World of Warcraft. I've played this game since launch about two years ago. I think I have over 200 days played dispersed over several characters. Maybe I am in denial, but I tell myself this game has not contributed to my problems. Sometimes I think gaming saved my life. If I did not have this hobby to escape to, what would I have done?
I tend to approach things scientifically, and I cannot believe in a god if I wanted to. If Hell is real, I am going there. Sorry, I hate acknowledging my own emotions and fears...
This problem is driving me mad. Maybe you can help me. I'm 17 and a junior in high school. I'm very confused right now... and I'm not sure what to do. I'm posting on internet forums about this!...
I've been depressed for the last five years or so. I've been having suicidal thoughts daily for the last three years! I feel better than I did a year ago, when I crashed for a few months, but I do not feel cured. I cannot keep doing this. I feel like my mind is literally broken and the only way to fix it is with a gun to the temple. I'm not even an adult and I've grown world weary. I've lost interest in everything. I feel like every day is exactly the same. I can't even remember where my youth has gone... I've done nothing with it!
I have too many problems to list. I don't even know how I've got this point. Sometimes I blame myself and sometimes I blame others: all those who picked on me every day and convinced me I am nothing but shit. I have no real friends. I completely fail to connect with people... I look at them, and many of them are enjoying life and relations and having fun. This makes me feel even emptier. I feel completely alone and without purpose, stuck on this fucking rock in my pathetic body.
I'm a gaming addict... specifically, World of Warcraft. I've played this game since launch about two years ago. I think I have over 200 days played dispersed over several characters. Maybe I am in denial, but I tell myself this game has not contributed to my problems. Sometimes I think gaming saved my life. If I did not have this hobby to escape to, what would I have done?
I tend to approach things scientifically, and I cannot believe in a god if I wanted to. If Hell is real, I am going there. Sorry, I hate acknowledging my own emotions and fears...
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But you're going to need to find someone who has the experience and qualifications to help you directly.
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get a part-time job in a restaurant as a dish washer; not fast food, a real restaurant.
that'll do it.
I've had similar thoughts: I realized at the end of my university career that I had missed tremendous opportunities. My major was dissatisfactory and I had worked myself hard at the expense of important relationships, e.g. I'd lost touch with my modicum of friends and my sex-life had become non-existent. My self-esteem was at an all time low. Fortunately, I found out that the course of your life is malleable, especially when you're young.
Try writing out all your problems, figure out what you want in life and what it would take to accomplish it. I realize that this sounds like vague advice, but part of the problem with suicidal ideation is that your thoughts are lensed in the most negative possible way. Everyone has problems; I met a former child soldier from Sierra Leone last summer at book reading and it made me realize every day is a blessing. Just realize that the course of your life can change in extravagant ways and that the first step is dealing with it realistically.
I've... I've got to disagree.
Alcohol and sex are generally not going to help a depressive personality. In fact, from what I've read and dealt with the depressive generally has a degree of excess with both, when they are present. Hard and fast relationships with heartbreak at the end, Drinking well beyond what they enjoy or should drink and crashing completely. Both cases essentially picking the individual up to drop them all the farther down.
It's the manic side of depression that would really worry me. Depression fosters a desire to cling to some things and the easiest things are those that can make you feel good, artificially with alcohol and the intimacy associated with sex, both of which have a huge come down and push the depression a little deeper.
Though it is not necessary for the disclaimer, I am not a doctor, seriously look into counseling through your school, your physician or get a referral from one of them for a therapist.
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The argument that death isn't a big deal because it happens all the time is moot, because death only happens one time for each person. Might as well make the most of it before then. And, hell, if life is currently so boring and depressing, if I end it now, how would I know if something interesting would happen in the future?
That's not the "oh come on, life's worth living after all" argument, because life's what you make of it. You could just play WoW all day for the next 10 years. Maybe another cool expansion will come out, or you'll get sick of it on your own after another year and pick up an entirely new hobby. Living life is relatively easy if your expectations are low (and for most people who are very depressed, low expectations is the name of the game). Do you have any insurmountable challenges? Do you have any particularly difficult interactions in your life?
The trick to changing one's lifestyle is, in my experience, to sort of reach a critical mass and say "screw this, I'm changing it." And then you work to change it. If you haven't reached that point, it's easier to just procrastinate and be depressed about it. That change, for many people, usually only has to happen once. Once they experience it, they kind of get familiar with the feelings surrounding a major change. Whether it's taking up a new sport, or changing their dating habits, or learning an instrument for reals this time, doing new things is easier the more you do it. Once you learn to appreciate the learning process, or "enjoying the journey more than the destination," life gets a lot more enjoyable. Try doing different stuff in your life. Spend a week where you don't do ANY of your familiar habits, be it watching a tv show, playing a video game, or even eating the same food.
Drugs and Alcohol will definitly put you in a deeper down ward spiral...please get help... there a hotline you can call... but speak to some to help you.
Mmmmmm...Gackt-licious
You need to get help. You need human contact. Real human contact. Maybe try to get rid of WoW for a few days, seriously, it's going to hurt but man. You have to get out of a funk, and if WoW isn't helping, then cut it off. Talk to someone trustworthy about it.
Get a job, make friends, keep your shit together. I know it's not that easy, but that's life. It's never going to change and it's never going to get easier.
You may have any number of thoughts that try to rationalize the amount of time you spend in WoW and on the net -- nothing better to do, just a game, I am part of a community there, boredom, this is all I'm good at -- but the key that helped me get out of my depression was to break my gaming and internet addictions. Then, you can gain new hobbies and develop a passion for trying new things. Juggling, an instrument, jogging, sign language, whatever. Becoming a well-rounded person helps boost self-esteem and makes you zest for life.
Also, a psychiatrist can really be helpful in these situations. In my case, it took a while for me to grow up and mature enough that what people were saying to me really sunk in. But every bit helps!
You should develop interests that complement your personality. Meaning that if you really enjoy doing things by yourself -- exploring the ins and outs, figuring things out, without the pressure of someone else sitting there, even if they're doing it with you, then you should develop solo hobbies. If you really like social interaction, but you feel you just don't get enough of it, then join some clubs or groups that require you to interact with people doing some common cause, whether it's bowling or bicycle repair or whatever. You don't have to make small talk with people, and doing an activity allows you to learn more without feeling like you're forced into interaction.
Personally, I get in a funk if I just sit in front of the computer all day. However, I don't really like social interaction, and I'd be perfectly happy if I didn't see another person all day. That even includes email lists and video games (although I do check forums, more for news and knowledge than the social interaction). So what is there for me to do that still involves my interests without dealing with people? For me, it was learning an instrument. I've been playing the double bass for over a year now and I'm actually getting proficient at it. I have no real musical background, outside of recorder in grade school, although I've always had an interest in music and have meddled with music software & hardware in the past. The push was that I was sick of being in front of a computer, and I realized that I really did like the upright bass. It involves learning how to read music, handle a bow, building up callouses and more, which has been a challenge... but completely on my own terms. I progress as much as I practice and learn as much as I like. And I've been very, very happy thanks to it.
You need to get into something for yourself in a similar way. Don't worry about thinking what it is this weekend. Mull it over. Don't pick something you like doing now. Think about something that you would seriously like to know more about that doesn't involve spending 30 minutes on Wikipedia. Be realistic about it, as in pick something you could move towards and get better with, rather than a singular event. As in, rock climbing instead of a bungie jump.
In other words, you should try to see what you can be passionate about for a lifetime. That doesn't mean it's what you do in all of your spare time, but rather something that you think you'd enjoy for more than a few weeks. Something that you can progress with over time, and can see actual changes as you progress. I mention rock climbing as I've got like 4 friends who are all into it and they keep it up because there's a steady progression and it's something that you really can do for the rest of your life. And that's really a good feeling, to be able to really get into something that's not just a timesink. For instance, you mention WoW, but you use words that make you sound defensive about it. You shouldn't have to feel defensive about your hobbies -- you should be proud of them.
And, honestly, that makes great strides towards fixing all of your other issues as well. People who work towards something they care about come across as more interesting people (because they have an interest they're happy to talk about) and they find conversation with like minded or even just new people that much easier.
So spend some time thinking about YOU. What do you like to do? What would you like to do? Ignore passive hobbies like gaming, or movies. They're not bad, but they're not good if you're depressed.
First off, there's a smattering of both good and poor advice in here. As pointed out, simply going out and having fun (girls, booze, etc.) are not going to solve anything. Alcohol is a depressant, just about the last thing you'd want. You stated you're a scientific mind, and fortunately, your problem is also very scientific.
The type of thoughts you are having, including depression, are frequently caused by a chemical imbalance in your body. The body produces certain chemicals to help with things that cause stress. These chemicals are rejuvenated when sleeping and used during the day. Think of it like a car and a gas tank. When the car's gas tank runs out of fuel, what happens? The car goes under stress in the engine and eventually stops working. The human body is no different, in that without these chemicals your body goes under extreme stress and stops functioning properly. The average person has healthy reserve of these chemicals to handle such stress, thus, they don't feel the repercussions day in day out. But person with depression is likely starting the day with far less of these chemicals, like having half a tank of gas, and it can be hard to manage stress levels then. So what anti-depressant medications often do is increase this chemical production to healthy levels, allowing people to handle stress better.
It is important to remember what you are feeling is not only common, but quite curable. The success rate for the treatment of depression with a professional is very high. I'm living proof of that. I often wondered why I was getting out of bed in the morning at all, or hell, what's the point of going on. I started doing some cutting to my arms, it was a distraction. What started to turn it around, though, was not simply going out or making new friends, but working closely with a psychologist on a program that would work for me to make me start to feel good.
If you only take one bit of advice from anything you hear, please see a professional psychologist. If you are uneasy about taking medications, as I was, a psychologist cannot prescribe you medications at all. That's a psychiatrist.
A normal session went like this:
The psychologist would ask me what moments caused me stress, and ultimately my depression and anxiety. Pinpointing what triggers negative thoughts and feelings allowed me to see what caused me problems. Then we would discuss solutions. Most of the time it was very simple. Like I found my lack of activity and boredom at the time was causing much of my feelings of lethargy. I've always loved tennis, so he recommend when I felt sluggish to go out and hit some tennis balls. We then set up a daily routine that would start to add little things that, in the long run, would increase and maximize the chemicals I was producing naturally. A sleep schedule. Regular exercise. Ample light in my work environment. Increased sunlight. Decreasing stresses, like negative friends or relationships. These very practical solutions helped immensely.
Your therapist should be somebody you enjoy and trust. I was always pleased to see mine and the sessions were pleasurable, not work-like at all. After all, part of my problem was feeling anxiety, and therapists know that sessions shouldn't be stressful work.
Once you begin to feel good and reduce the things you dislike, naturally you'll have energy, you'll want to laugh more, and you won't feel like going out with friends is forceful - instead it will feel quite like a nice vacation.
I encourage you to keep asking questions and to keep seeking out ways to feel better, like you've already done by asking for help on these forums! You've recognized that something is a little off and that's great, so now you can put your attention into ways you'll start to feel better. I was skeptical at first, but I promise you, it's not hopeless and the success rate is very high.
It's not magic or wishful thinking, but solid scientific therapy.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
That said, maybe take a break from WoW and see if you can find something else you enjoy doing. Maybe something that other people can do so that you can meet people who have similar interests and that will potentially become your friends.
Ride a bike to change your mind. Your mileage may vary but I find that crusing around on my bicycle relaxes me and eases my mind. Just cruise around and feel the wind on your face. It sounds cheesy but it feels good!
And yes, professional help seems to be a must here. There's no shame in seeing psy. When there's something wrong with your body you go to the doctor, when there's something wrong in your head you go see a professional in these matters.
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that being said, get some professional help.
Jesus, yes. Best to deal with these problems before they develop into something worse in adulthood.
If that makes sense.
You should see a professional therapist. You should commit to this course of action, meaning you give it a real chance over several sessions and make a choice to do work with the person and not fight the processes they will try to put you through.
You should understand that therapists are people who help with real issues, and that someone with the emotions your describing has a genuine need for external help. You should understand that this is no more shameful then needing the help of a medical doctor with a broken bone.
Do NOT worry about your youth being misspent, or gone. The best thing about being young is that it changes. Not everyone has this great nostalgic childhood that John Mellencamp talks about in songs.
I gamble, and in gambling there is a mathematical principle: A previous bet should never effect the next bet. If I gamble on say, a die coming up even, and it comes up odd, I shouldn't say "There's twice as much chance of it being even now" - the chance is the same.
Do not decide that your "sunk time" in your childhood, even if you didn't enjoy it, dictates anything to come in your life. You can go forward from right now.
Another, practical, thing I would recommend is that you exercise, if you don't. It will help you burn nervous energy you don't realize you have, it will help clarify your body and your mind, and it will help you sleep (I'm willing to bet you don't sleep well). I seriously recommend a martial art, because that is what worked for me and because at the end of it you've learned something other then how to run on a big treadmill.
I host a podcast about movies.
Seek professional help immediately! And for the love of god do not drink unless you will be in the company of other people at all times.
Absolutely. There is never any shame in wanting to feel your best. This can't be said enough.
JohnnyCache's recommendation of exercise is also spot on for something you can do in the time between now and your first doctor's appointment.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Look to the future, try and be positive, and just chill out as life flows around you. You're gonna die eventually, so why not relax and have fun until ya do.
When you are surrounded by a large group of people that have different ideals from you, and they’re all acting on them and achieving them and seeming to be living a good life, it’s easy (and in many cases not that illogical) to subconsciously compromise your own notion of what’s right and your own goals in the pursuit of feeling fulfilled like they all seem to be by trying to adhere to their (the majorities) goals. At least, that seems to be the case when the large group in reference is a high school, and the elements of immaturity, apathy, peer pressure, and other such social forces with no or negative regard to forging your own goals and ideas of what’s right/cool/good (because that would risk the social interaction and easy respect/relatable-ness/potential-for-even-more-enjoyment-like-sex that the whole group of relationships is based on in the first place) are prevalent.
So if you think about what you most want to do, perhaps thinking of having a intimate girl/boyfriend you could share all your thoughts with, and being on a positive or even just neutral level with everyone around you again, and having all the choices and options you could want, and everything else that seems desirable, and if this doesn’t motivate you—then you’ve got to re-examine what you want, because that wasn’t it.
If on the other hand, you can visualize exactly what you want, but feel that you could never achieve it, that’s a different story. When I’ve been in that position before, there were a number of things that helped me. First and foremost is the affirmation that I most certainly can achieve the things I want, and if I truly cannot, then they are probably things that no human has ever been in the position to achieve (such as the example of ‘all the time and options in the world’—no-one really has this because no one knows when they’re going to die, and everyone is influenced by the world around them. It’s all about realizing what you truly have and doing what you want most with that) Another way to become more confident is independent research into whatever you want to do and people who have done it, or research into motivation, discipline, and other things you know you would need to actually ‘do it’. And of course a great way to help this situation is to be around people who are supportive of you changing yourself for the better, on your own principles. This one can be tricky, and I got quite lucky in my experience with the people at ‘Power of Hope’ (a non-profit non-religious organization that does summer gatherings for youth 13-18 years old designed to instigate true growing and action within community). Before that though I would recommend seeing a psychologist just because of the importance of rationalizing and understanding your situation, so you can begin to improve to the point where self motivation is a matter of discipline and not drastic and uncertain inspiration. This is something everyone who wants to live rationally/well has to work at. Don’t dump all your vestiges of hope into one psychologist, but don’t restrain anything important about yourself when going into it either. Basically know that even if the psychologist you find turns out to be unhelpful, they were probably the exception, not the rule. (and give their processes time and effort, no hour-long conversation can remold years of social reinforcement and conditioning, let alone a potential disorder)
Sorry if that was a little convoluted; just know that you can always re-shape your life and perceptions, and that really you have as much time as anyone else.
Whatever way you choose to approach this important issue, I wish you luck and support.
True dis.
That's what I end up telling myself now, and have been for awhile. Things get better, things have been better, and things will turn out alright down the line. I'm sure I'll have my downs and my oh-god-why phases, but I'll also have my happier phases...and when I'm in one of the happier phases, I look around me and tell myself that I'd like to experience the world like that again...and removing myself from this earth because I had the shittiest day/week/month/year/years ever, would not allow me to experience these happy opportunities when they present themselves further down the line.
Given, I was only able to come up with this train of thought within the last two years (from what I recall)...but that's because I was ridiculously depressed for much of my middle school/high school life, and I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom something that optimistic. [I'm also agnostic, so I can understand how it feels to not have a higher power "watching over you", etc.]
In all seriousness though, I look back on the times that I felt suicidal and I'm glad that I didn't decide to go through with it, because in the time between then and now, I've experienced so many wonderful things. I've experienced bad things too, as everybody does...and some bad things few people have probably ever experienced...but I decided to live for those happy moments. And I know now that there will always be a few things that will make me glad I'm alive - things I didn't even really know about or think about at the time, when I was severely depressed. I remember being in a car, staring at the trees flying by the window, and watching the sunlight hit the leaves against the summer blue sky. It was simple, but it was beautiful. And it made me happy. And I was happy to be there, watching this, despite the fact that it was such a seemingly trivial thing. But it was at that moment that I realized that I would want to see that again...and that maybe there'd be something even more beautiful to see, or experience, or hear or smell or taste or feel...the next day, or week, or month, or year, or decade. And that's when I decided that suicide just really wasn't something I'd consider ever again...because I'd want to live for the happy moments like that, however infrequent, because experiencing them is wonderful, and you can never tell where life is exactly going to take you. You have no idea what's just around the corner. Maybe it's the same day, maybe you'll still feel like shit. I know how that is, I've been there, and I still go through that every now and then....but then there are those times where things aren't so bad, and where life gets better, and where I enjoy existing. And you just have to believe that nice moments will happen to you in life, and cutting out the possibility of experiencing any of them would be horrible...because you don't know what will happen tomorrow, and it's entirely possible that it could be something wonderful. And why cut out the chance to feel happy?
I know I'm just an internet name with some freaky tree-stump avatar, but trust me in this that nice things will happen to you in your life. You've only lived 17 years, and there are so many more things out there that you can experience (I'm not trying to be patronizing, either - I'm only 20). So many things you never knew you'd love to do, or see, etc...and the only way to discover them would be to keep going. Just hang in there as best you can, and talk to somebody about how you feel - it helps.
I learned awhile back that good stuff doesn't just fall into your hands but you gotta reach over the counter pick it up and then pay for it. Happiness isn't free. Like in WoW do you just get a bad ass sword when you start? No. You gotta work for it. You gotta level up and do some quests and party up with people and then when you reach Level 40 then you can use that new fancy sword and have a good time. Living a life in the real world requires input.
You see for me I can't even remember high school and I just turned 23. It's not that I had lousy time and wanted to forget it all but I just didn't do much. Went to school went home played games slept. Rinse repeat. Except I was on the swim team though and through that I did have some memorable events which included new friends and experiences. Now in my 20s I remember that I had a good time when i put effort in to something such as swimming so I joined the Coast Guard because I was again not doing anything. Now I'm not the most patriotic guy by all means but I am now taking part of a group and having some good fun. Just like in WoW. I had the most fun when I was partying and doing instances with other PEOPLE. So now that I am always having to work with other people I then make new friends and with these new friends I do new things which in turn grants me a reason to exist.
Now that reminds me. I used to be really shy. Really shy. Never talked to people really and kept to myself. Because of that I lost out on some what could have been the best years of my life. Teen years. But I have broken out of my shell and now talk to people and joke around and come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what people think of my actions (main reason why I was shy). Now I express myself. Sorta. I see someone interesting I talk to them. For all I know I will never see that person ever again so who cares what I do sans murdering them or something just as stupid. You never know what could have happened if you don't do anything.
TL;DR (and man if you didn't read that long ass heart wrenched post then I'll be angry) You are lonely. Go out and meet people and join some type of group!
Also I just realized something. You said in your post that you look at things scientifically, right? Well I think it's a science fact that humans are very social creatures and is one of our requirements for life. So hope thats helps too.
Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately. Not suicidal, just bored with everything. I know it's cus I have nothing going on in my life, that I need to find something to care about, so it's not a big deal. But still, it's irritating.
Back to the OP. Well, like everyone else said, get some professional help. Everyone has their downtime, but if you've been having these feelings for that long, it's definitely not a fling. WoW is a distraction that's not helping you - you feel like you have nothing in your life to do, so you fill it with WoW. Thus, WoW is not the source of your problem, but it is digging you deeper into the hole. Look around, maybe try reaching out to your peers. There is worth in the world - you just have to look for it and appreciate it when you see it. Go volunteer for something you like, get your parents to pay for some art/music lessons...and don't agonize over your future or past, live for the fuckin present. Challenge yourself to find something of interest in every moment (sounds lame, but think about it).
Good luck, mate.
dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
Second thing: It is very important to realize that you are not alone in your problem. A lot of teenagers go through similar things. So it is not caused by anything that is particularly wrong with you. Accepting this will help.
Third thing. Man, ditch World of Warcraft. You are right that it allows you to escape your problems... but escaping your problems won't solve them. It will only make them worse over time.
I will lay down some suggestions that can help. Not necessarily in order of importance. (note: this advice applies to everyone who is generally bored with life)
1- Start eating healthy. If you're a gaming addict, chances are you eat like shit. Change your diet. Diversify it. Make sure you get the necessary nutrients, especially vitamins, everyday. You can refer to the various threads we have here for more specific advice.
2- Fix your sleeping schedule. Again, if you're a gaming addict, you probably have a sporadic sleep cycle. I used to play WoW... I played well past midnight, and didn't get up until afternoon the next day. Having fucked up sleeping schedules contributes to feeling like shit. So get into a regular sleep cycle. Go to bed before midnight, and try to wake up before 10 the next morning, even if it is the weekend. If you follow my earlier suggestion and quit WoW, this will be easy to do.
3- Start working out. Yet again, if you play WoW so often, chances are you don't do this. Start doing it. Exercise produces endorphin, which improves your mood. And, combined with healthy eating, you can put on some muscle, which would help with your self-image and give you something to strive for.
4- Find a hobby. If you follow my previous advice and quit WoW, you'll have lots of spare time. Fill it with something meaningful. I'll throw out some random ideas: Read books. Go running/swimming/biking. Take dance lessons (they are great because the mood among dancers is very, very positive). Start rock-climbing. Go volunteer for a humanitarian or environmental organization (again, wonderfully positive moods, and people are friendly). Basically, try new things (NOT drugs!) and find something you enjoy. If you put your heart to it, you'll succeed.
5- Get rid of the people who make you feel like shit. This is a big one; if you don't do it, you won't get far. On the other hand, if you surround yourself with positive people, their effect on you will be amazing (this is why volunteering and dancing would be great). And this ties in to WoW as well: one thing about that game is that it is populated with very negative people; they will bitch and whine and argue and cuss at you and overall affect you very negatively. Quit the game, cut them out of your life.
--
Realize something: WoW is not helping you. Instead, it is holding you back. Quit it, and try to follow some of my advice above, and I promise you your life will improve. How much it improves of course depends on how much you put your heart into it.
And once again, see a doctor.
WoW time needs to be kept to a manageable standard, is all. How much time that is can be discussed with the therapist who is far more familiar with a conductive recovery schedule. My therapist always told me to "vote with my feet" in regards to my obligations. If a television show as keeping me from completing an assignment, the solution was to get up, leave the room, find another place to work. But he never suggested going cold turkey on anything I might enjoy in healthy moderation.
I don't think the goal should be to want to quit WoW, but instead feel like WoW is something you choose to do for fun and never interferes with real obligations. In other words, WoW or any video game should never be a priority, but can still be enjoyed.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
This is especially not the time where the OP should try to substitute virtual friendship for real friendship.
He admits that he is a gaming addict. 200 days playtime in 2 years is fucking incredible. Do you honestly believe he can reduce it to a "manageable standard"? Because I don't.
Setting realistic goals is the first step to accomplishing them.
Secondly, contact with people over the web is not a good replacement for physical social interaction. Get out, talk to people. Find a club in your school that share your interests. Maybe there is a teen night at the local YMCA. Whatever it is, you need to leave the house and have fun. Relax.
And finally, keep trying. Even if it doesn't feel like it's getting any better, you need to give it a chance. One night of social activity (the kind you will NOT find playing WoW) isn't going to fix it, but after a few weeks you might see a difference.
I've been very clear from my first post about the need to work this out with a professional, as have most people, so I think anything else we type or discuss is distracting from that point and quite moot, since the therapist should be helping decide what happens from here on out.
EDIT OF SIDE INFO ABOUT WOW TIME PLAYED (NOT VITAL):
So let me be clear that upon more evaluation that I wouldn't be surprising if dropping WoW is the right answer, but, I'd rather this be checked with somebody who has more experience in addiction like a therapist. And how it relates to this specific case.
I'm glad you said something, ege02, it made me reconsider and dig deeper, even if I still don't appreciate you think I was advocating "virtual" friendships over "real" ones. Wrong place for that debate, but I've gone on to meet new friends through WoW (yes, we met!) and grow closer with old ones I knew before joining the game. It's not always shallow as people think.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
I agree.
Please keep in mind the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. 1-800-273-TALK. Keep that number in your wallet or cell phone or whatever. If you are in a crisis, call them. It might be a good idea to have someone you trust also keep that number around, so that they can call if you can't for whatever reason.
Good luck.
[EDIT]Corrected the name for the hotline, sorry. The number is right, though.
IOS Game Center ID: Isotope-X
dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
If you want to PM me about your location I can see if I can get a list of local support groups for you. Having a good bit of experiance on this, I'd be glad to help in any way I can.
IOS Game Center ID: Isotope-X
This man speaks the truth. Follow all of this advice to the fucking letter.
And get rid of WoW. I used to play Everquest, the far more addictive pre-cursor to WoW. You know how when someone goes to jail for a few years and then gets out, they say they literally lost the last 3 years of their life? I absolutely guarantee you that you will feel the same way once you quit and move on. I know I did about EQ.
I think the depression has to do with the addiction.
Eddy here speaks the truth. Go see a doctor. I'm suffering from depression myself at the moment and I recommend seeing a professional.
http://www.ranting-gryphon.com/Rants/2rant-angst.mp3
You do not have any problems that professional help and a little growing up will not cure