This is a thing that's been bugging me for a while and I was wondering what people's opinions were.
Basically I'm just running into issues where I think I have pretty severe ADHD. I've not been officially diagnosed, but just looking at the symptoms online I definitely match a lot of them (fidgeting, trouble focusing, impulsive behavior, anxiety, racing thoughts, etc). Obviously that's not a guarantee that I have it, but it seems pretty certain. I don't want to label myself before an official diagnosis, but if I check most of the boxes it seems a safe bet.
I've had difficulty focusing for basically my entire life. Most of the time it hasn't been a real issue, as I was able to get through school without much trouble aside from some difficulties in high school. But once standard school was done with, it became a LOT harder. Basically it took me 10 years to finish community college, though I didn't attend consistently. There were a lot of failed classes and entire semesters dropped out of at that time. It was only a couple years ago that I finally knuckled down and I got my AA, which I'm fairly proud of because of how hard it is for me to do.
Like, I think it's a significant portion of why I've bought so many damn games - I just lack an ability to focus on ONE thing, and whenever I'm playing a game, in the back of my head I'm telling myself that I could be playing Game X instead of Game Y, or if I just had Game Z then that will be something to keep me busy for a while. And this cycle will repeat itself often, where I get bored with Game Z so I'll tell myself oh, if I just had Game A then I'll play that. I'm doing a bit better lately because I just keep reminding myself of all the shit I already have and how adding another game to the pile is really not needed, no matter how damned cheap that game may be.
I'm mainly just trying to figure out how I treat this. I know medication is an option, but... I'm still avoidant of that for whatever reason. I'm trying to do CBT which helps but I still slip up from time to time.
It's killing me because I don't want to want to buy stuff all the time. I really don't want to feel bored when I'm playing a game, especially since I *know* I'm not bored, I'm just thinking about whatever game I theoretically could buy next and how good THAT game is gonna be. Whenever I buy something new I feel immense guilt immediately after the satisfaction of 'purchasing new thing' has left. I shouldn't want to do it that badly given how bad I always feel afterward.
Again, I am doing a bit better than I was, but ugh, it's such a slow process that I can feel how easy it is to fall off the wagon, as it were.
I'm not on medication for ADHD at the moment, however I am taking generic Lexapro for my anxiety and depression. It's helped a lot in that regard.
I'm going to be looking into therapists soon, as well as asking my doctor about possible medications, what the side effects would be, etc. I just want to... enjoy myself when I'm playing a game or while I'm with my wife and kids, instead of constantly thinking about other things that I could be doing.