Disclaimer: This is mostly a venting thread but I'll try to turn it around into a question at the end.
Background: I've been working as a web developer since graduation (just turned 30), and moved to silicon valley about 4 years ago which was a considerable career upgrade. Learned a lot, been quite successful and enjoyed the job for a while, but it started to get increasingly stressful later on, in part because of a failure on my part to set expectations (too eager to please) and having too much emotional investment in the project. Then earlier this year the whole project imploded in a big way, but incidentally I had just secured a transfer to a new team by that point (same company, new project).
Lately though I'm still feeling a strong sense of burnout and disillusionment - even though my new project isn't overly taxing, I just don't feel invested or excited anymore about my life on this path. The sting of knowing that my work the past few years didn't amount to much in the end really made me start to reconsider what I'm doing with my life and what the reward was for all that hard work. My mind has been racing between a lot of different options, but the common point to start is that I'm strongly considering making a move to Seattle, since I only really came to the Bay Area for my original project and don't feel that invested in the region. Plus I have to live in the suburbs in order to have a reasonable commute, and I'm kind of sick of it and want to try living in a proper city (SF doesn't appeal to me).
However that realization that I'm not where I want to be anymore has really started to make every day a struggle. My lease ends in October and the pragmatic choice would be to move out then, and either find a new team there or work remotely for a little while to help wrap things up. As soon as I consider locking that in as my plan though, even a six month wait starts to feel like an eternity - every day spent here feels wasted when I know that I'm not staying.
If I could really just have my way and listen to my "heart" I think I would break my lease and move in the next couple months. Probably just make some excuse to my boss like my girlfriend got a new job or whatever to avoid burning bridges. Get there while the weather is nice rather than making winter my first impression there is also a big plus, I really dislike winter/holidays (wherever I am). Money isn't an issue and I have no doubt in finding work, plus as I mentioned my boss might be willing to let me work remote for some time, though I don't want to do that for so long that it becomes isolating. However I'm really conflicted about the social stigma of doing this, disappointing my new team and possibly revealing to them that I must be really unhappy to be leaving so soon. Everybody there is really career-driven and I'm not sure if they'd understand or approve. All those worries and responsibilities are now feeling really oppressive to me which only makes things worse.
So if you've read this far, have any of you guys gone through similar experiences? Either with a quarter/third/mid-life crisis situation, or just having to choose between a practical/rational decision or a more uncertain/emotional decision. If so I'm curious to know what your situation was and how your decision worked out for you.