Wow did I hate Alien: Covenant. Just two hours of emptiness, devoid of characters and meaning.
Like, it wasn't even brutal enough to exist for brutality's sake.
I could type up some longer thoughts but I don't know if the movie even deserves it. The best part of the whole movie was the woman behind me who was also not having it and being pretty vocal about it.
How about that ending
"twist" aye? Pointless, dumb, mean and stupid and obvious as fuck. What the hell.
It was telegraphed as soon as David cut his hair, and then went for the grimdarkiest possible ending to the benefit of nothing. There's neither resolution nor hope in that ending, just the promise of more pointless brutality. Fuck I'm salty about this movie.
Daniels got the shortest end of the stick as a character. Her personal loss is established up front and the movie sort of tries to carry her as the lead, but never commits. For a minute the new captain (I can't even remember his name, Mr. "If you're religious at all people persecute you!") is kind of the focus, and but then it snaps back to Daniels when he dies. Unlike Shaw, though, I feel like we never get into Daniel's head. Everything with her is surface level. She gets to miss her husband for all of 30 seconds before the plot moves on, and they never capitalize on her loss (or anyone else's, really) in a meaningful way. Shaw got so much more characterization, her faith was really her driving force, and I felt more of the emotions she was expressing. Probably because we got to see her establish her relationship. Daniels could have had plenty of scenes about feeling alone, the suddenness of loss and the harshness of space/pioneer life, but they didn't do anything with her. I never even really felt scared, at least I didn't feel her fear (a lot of that had to do with the presentation of the aliens as well). If I can't even feel a basic emotion like terror in a movie about super predator aliens, you done goofed.
+1
Options
Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Things that I hate about the Simpsons movie, beyond it just being a bad movie:
Most of it is set outside Springfield.
Grandpa screaming EPA
Homer giving the finger?
Hans moleman holding up a sign saying "you suck" before he's run over (why, also what?)
Hank Scorpio 2, not quite as good
All of the jokes and dialogue
Reiner wolfcastle being explicitly named as "Arnold swarzenegger", which not only makes no sense, but proves the movie is for people who don't know, care about, or understand the Simpsons
I could honestly go on and on. It's lazy, ugly, dumb, charmless. Bart has none of his particular kind of street smart wit, and is basically what Bart would be if someone who never saw the Simpsons described him based in cultural osmosis (rude with tude and radical!)
God I hate it, I hate spider pig, and I hate that it inexplicably has a high rating on aggregate sites. It makes me feel like an old man yelling at a cloud. The movie isn't just average or bad, it feels like it overwrites what made the Simpsons so great with a generic facsimile of what the Simpsons is to the average person who never really watched it
It's kind of caught all my dislike of the fact that the Simpsons continues now, since I couldn't be arsed to hate each new season individually, that would just be too exhausting
Things that I hate about The Simpsons Movie:
They painted the EPA as an overbearing government bully that imposes cruel and unusual punishments on people. It's like the movie was written by Rex Tillerson.
Look, I would take twenty seasons of Vanessa Marcil's Sam just wandering around doing whatever Sam wanted to do that day, but ... nah, that show went on too long, if anything.
Well, I will admit that the last season was a bit much, it just ended on a cliffhanger and I wanted that resolved. Plus I liked the cast.
2ooTwop][a 2, in which we finally get to see the ice cream joints in the fox part of town.
0
Options
Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
I feel like a lot of movies these days have the early poster that looks good, and then the poster that's just supposed to sit in theaters to remind people getting out of a different movie that the famous dudes X Y and Z are in that movie coming out next Friday we should come back and see it. Not supposed to look great just supposed to be a friendly reminder.
I was sitting in the theatre for guardians and a trailer for the last jedi started playing, and I was legitimately upset because I was trying to avoid as much information about that film as possible.
I was sitting in the theatre for guardians and a trailer for the last jedi started playing, and I was legitimately upset because I was trying to avoid as much information about that film as possible.
My bf has closed his eyes and hummed his way through a trailer before to avoid spoilers. I get it. These days you just can't trust the ending of the movie won't be in a trailer. :-/
Posts
Things that I hate about The Simpsons Movie:
They painted the EPA as an overbearing government bully that imposes cruel and unusual punishments on people. It's like the movie was written by Rex Tillerson.
Steam
The Search For More Money
Comic book movies have the easiest path to great posters and they usually have some of the worst ones out there
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
It's not like Marvel comics doesn't know some people that know how to draw Spider-Man
Because mondo posters don't have giant pictures of all the stars that execs think drive ticket sales.
You haven't seen their marvel ones then.
http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/02/22/mondo-unleashes-tyler-stouts-captain-america-civil-war
Tyler Stout has done a lot of the marvel movies in that style and I actually kinda hate it, it's just way too busy.
Alt answer: because then Mondo would have to produce enough posters to meet demand.
Steam
Onl first glance I didn't loathe it
and then I'm looking in the right hand corner and I'm seeing the Washington Monument and just what the fuck is even going on there?
Like, this poster here is great! Just keep using this one!
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
That series jumped the shark somewhere around the second or third movie.
He goes on a school trip to DC
Its in the trailers
It was the water wheel thing in 2 for me.
No wait. It was the cannibal ball cage thing in 2. That was right at the beginning.
Basically anything after 1.
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
They seem satisfied to shove out the same movie every couple years
Wait why is Happy Hogan getting such high billing for a Spider-Man movie
https://i2.wp.com/cdn.batman-news.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Wonder-Woman-Tank-Poster.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&ssl=1&w=800
Pretty sure this is like one third an Iron Man movie.
I was sitting in the theatre for guardians and a trailer for the last jedi started playing, and I was legitimately upset because I was trying to avoid as much information about that film as possible.
My bf has closed his eyes and hummed his way through a trailer before to avoid spoilers. I get it. These days you just can't trust the ending of the movie won't be in a trailer. :-/
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
He didn't seem too pleased to be found at the end of TFA.