Need some help with my little brother

Vi Monks

Okay, so here's the (stupid) situation: my twelve-year-old brother has gone emo. Apparently for the past few weeks he's been chatting on some new MySpace IM client with some girl about how horrible his life is and how his mother hates him and blah blah blah, we've all heard the drill. It's obviously just some attempt at sympathy from a girl. But this girl (being a reasonable twelve-year-old against all odds) became a bit worried when he started threatening suicide so she told her teacher. Of course, this information comes back to my mother and she's a bit disturbed so she gives me a call.

Now I'm in my second-year of college a few hundred miles from home so I'm not exactly around to offer my support. I calmed her down as best I could though, explaining to her (as best I could) what emo was and that this was most likely just an adolescent thing for him that he'd outgrow. Understandably, she was still a bit uncomfortable so I found out where MySpace IM logs are kept and she read the one with this girl. And now she wants to keep tabs on what he's doing on the computer to see how things are progressing.

Here's where you guys come in. I know she could just watch the logs but that, of course, only watches IMs and can be simply turned off -- same with internet history. So can anyone let me know of a program for keeping tabs on the goings on of my brother's computer, preferably from my mother's. She's not terribly technologically literate so if it was a simple program, that would be preferable but, if not, I could monitor it myself. I think it would just make my mother feel better about the whole situation if she could keep an eye on him and get him help when he needs it. Thanks in advance for the help. Here's hoping this blows over soon.

Peter Principle

Somewhat similar thread, perhaps there is some help here:

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=21086

Vi Monks

Peter Principle wrote: »

Somewhat similar thread, perhaps there is some help here:

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=21086

That helps a good deal, thank you. I'm a bit unnerved by this whole situation myself so I didn't even think to search. This thread can be locked up so far as I'm concerned.

gneGne

I don't really know if that's gonna solve the problem. It might worsen it. Have a good talk with your brother, it's what I needed when I was younger. Perhaps go see a movie together with him.

Vi Monks

gneGne wrote: »

I don't really know if that's gonna solve the problem. It might worsen it. Have a good talk with your brother, it's what I needed when I was younger. Perhaps go see a movie together with him.

If I could, I would do something like that. The problem is I'm a few hundred miles away. I can talk to him but I can't hang out and "be there" and all that.

And I know this won't solve the problem. Chances are, the problem will work itself out as my brother gets older and more mature. In the meantime, however, my mother just wants to know if he's cutting himself, getting into drugs, or any of the other million things I'm sure she (as a concerned parent) is freaking out about right now.

I read the linked thread and I understand that a lot of the forumers here think that this is generally not the best solution. But my opinion is that my brother is being ridiculous (read: being a twelve-year-old) and so he gets monitored by his rightfully concerned parents. That's what happens when you're young, so far as I'm concerned.

And just for the record, I don't mean to insult you or anything. Your point is valid and I certainly will be talking to him in that big brother role.

Edit: Just to be a bit more assertive in my request than in my previous post: I'd prefer this thread be locked.

Octoparrot

Does your brother have some hobbies that could be further encouraged?

gneGne

Whoops sorry, should have read better. As Im from the Netherlands, we don't have to deal with such huge distances.

Vi Monks

Octoparrot wrote: »

Does your brother have some hobbies that could be further encouraged?

That's just the thing, he's the busiest kid I know. He plays trombone in his school band, he plays select soccer and recreational football five and six nights a week, plays baseball in the summers, and has a 39 Night Elf Hunter on Dark Iron (I know, I know). This doesn't fit him at all.

My mother thinks it all has to do with this girl from whom he wants sympathy and I'm tending to agree with her, all things considered.

gneGne wrote: »

Whoops sorry, should have read better. As Im from the Netherlands, we don't have to deal with such huge distances.

No worries. It's a good idea nonetheless.

Drez

I don't know your brother, but he could just be trying to work an angle with this girl. I don't know if that's helpful, but I would just try to have an honest phone conversation with your brother and tell him you are aware of everything.

Also, since I'm not in your family and thus impartial, it's kind of unfair for this 12 year old girl to be burdened with your brother's problem if he's being serious. I'm not saying it's necessarily your responsibility to alleviate that burden, but...whether he's working an angle with her or he's on the level, I'd have to second the advice to converse with him about it and confront him on it, over the phone if not in person. Either he's just dicking around on the IM program and you can assuage your mother's (and your own) worries that way, or you can find out if there really is a problem.

Either way, confront him. Don't be ABRUPT, but definitely call him out on it.

Pheezer

Well you're a good distance away, but dude, he plays WoW. Why not start playing WoW with him? Get him on Skype or Ventrilo and bond with your brother for a few hours every week.