With the revelation of our supreme leader's divine weather control powers, I thought that we who possess special inside information on Kim Jong Un's many talents should finally reveal them to the world! Through my special contacts in North Korea, I have discovered several things.
1. Not only is Kim Jong Un, the best rock singer, pop singer, country singer, polka performer, square dance caller, techno musician, guitarist, pianist, drummer, bassist, flutist, sax player, and (it goes without saying) rapper in North Korea (if not all Asia), he is also the creator and only performer of a whole new type of genre.
2. This genre us called Unix to those who know of its existence, named for its creator, but it's true name is unpronounceable to those who are not Kim Jong Un, as it is written and performed in his own, self-created private language. Those who have heard this language call it "too complex, efficient and beautiful for mere mortal tongues."
3. The music in question has only been played for close party officials, but one of them, speaking under a vow of secrecy, claimed it was so beautiful, that God himself came down, to ask the Supreme Leader if he could use it to liven up his own place. Kim Jong Un refused, and God left, admitting he was right.
This is only what I know, surely you guys have heard more?
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