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Friend alienating other friend and then some
Zedro
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So there's a problem going on between two "friends", let's call them "Joe" and "Greg".
Joe and Greg have known each other for a little more than a year, and they're the best of friends. They always hang out and chat the night away on IM. Their interests are almost in-sync and one could wonder why they didn't meet sooner. But lately, Greg has been ignoring Joe. Confused and hurt, Joe tries to reconcile with Greg but it's futile. He has no idea what he did and receives no answer from Greg. Greg acts completely normal around his other friends; laughing and talking away. But when Joe shows up, it's like he's invisible to Greg. Now, Joe hasn't had many close friends and he considers Greg his best. You might say to yourselves, "Oh, Joe should just make new friends". Joe tries to socialize with acquaintances in his class, but the acquaintances are--you guessed it--are also friends with Greg and it hurts Joe to see Greg hang out with them and completely blow off Joe.
Greg's also got some problems, too. He has a really strange inferiority complex. What do i mean? He's a really bright guy and he's well-built, (much more than Joe) but he feels so pathetic and has low self-esteem. This might be part of the main problem. One of Joe's other friends--who is also friends with Greg--says that the only time Greg brings up Joe is when he goes on about he's too pathetic to hang out with Joe.
So what do you advise, H/A? Should Joe just move on and deal with his loneliness? Is this the stupidest grade-school dribble you've ever read?
Joe and Greg have known each other for a little more than a year, and they're the best of friends. They always hang out and chat the night away on IM. Their interests are almost in-sync and one could wonder why they didn't meet sooner. But lately, Greg has been ignoring Joe. Confused and hurt, Joe tries to reconcile with Greg but it's futile. He has no idea what he did and receives no answer from Greg. Greg acts completely normal around his other friends; laughing and talking away. But when Joe shows up, it's like he's invisible to Greg. Now, Joe hasn't had many close friends and he considers Greg his best. You might say to yourselves, "Oh, Joe should just make new friends". Joe tries to socialize with acquaintances in his class, but the acquaintances are--you guessed it--are also friends with Greg and it hurts Joe to see Greg hang out with them and completely blow off Joe.
Greg's also got some problems, too. He has a really strange inferiority complex. What do i mean? He's a really bright guy and he's well-built, (much more than Joe) but he feels so pathetic and has low self-esteem. This might be part of the main problem. One of Joe's other friends--who is also friends with Greg--says that the only time Greg brings up Joe is when he goes on about he's too pathetic to hang out with Joe.
So what do you advise, H/A? Should Joe just move on and deal with his loneliness? Is this the stupidest grade-school dribble you've ever read?
Zedro on
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like - away from other distractions - "hey so i've been feeling _____, and it leads me to think _____, is that true? how do you feel?"
Yes.
Tell them to grow the fuck up.
Do you mean grade school, like below 9th grade (freshman year of high school), or high school?
It only matters for how stupid this is.
This is exactly what I thought when I read this.
The one guy says, "I love you"
the other says "I lo.. WTF?! Get out of my house. No more sleepovers for you! And we're not friends either!"
Neither wants to admit it to the other friends so they are all akward around each other.
Seriously, why would you IM for hours to another guy?
Did they ask you to intervene on their behalf?
*This is a serious post and not meant to be some joke, I'm not flaming here.
'cause if it's the latter, and the two of them are getting it on ('cause I would assume "friends" doesn't translate to "secretly hate each other"), then they should probably sit down and talk it out. If "friends" means friends with benefits/a romantic relationship, they should really be able to be open with each other about it.
If "friends" means friends and the quotation marks are erroneous, then they still should probably talk it over. Like, Joe should just get Greg away from the rest of their friends and say, "Hey, dude, you're really weirding me out. Why don't we ever talk any more?" or something like that. If they're really close friends, they won't sound like girls.
Also: It's weird that guys are concerned about "sounding like girls" but that's a D&D topic not an H/A topic.
And, yeah, it does sound like a pair of twelve year olds.
Found the sounds of things, Greg isn't being a terrific friend. And Joe needs to be more direct. A simple, "Hey man, what's the deal lately?" could be more than enough. If Greg gives a damn, he'll try to patch things up. If not, Joe needs to see the above life lesson: friends drift apart with age.
Also, as a general point, people learn how to treat you based upon what you show them. Relating to this example, it sounds like Joe made it clear he can be ignored and bypassed without any consequences. Joe is still hanging around. So Joe needs to make it clear that, no Greg, if you pull such childish stunts I won't just be waiting around for your approval.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
The point is, Joe (anyone for that matter) deserves better treatment than that. He should confront Greg and then move on.