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Los Illuminados Cultists Found in New Guinea - Hijinks Ensue

SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
edited May 2007 in Social Entropy++
Well... okay, they might not be Los Illuminados, but it's freaky all the same...
PORT MORESBY (Reuters) - Riot police have been sent to a remote mountainous village in Papua New Guinea after a gun battle between police and members of a cult involved in human sacrifices, local media reported Wednesday.

The National newspaper said several people were killed and many injured in the fighting last week in the Finschhafen area of Morobe province, 350 km (220 miles) north of the capital, Port Moresby.

Black magic is widespread in Papua New Guinea, a jungle-clad, mountainous South Pacific island nation where some villages only encountered Western civilization in the 1930s. Women suspected of being witches are often hanged or burnt to death.

Police who flew to the area Sunday said they believed they were dealing with a cult movement involved in murders and human sacrifices to their gods, the newspaper said.

Morobe's chief police inspector, Augustine Wampe, said suspicions of cult activity started in April when a child was kidnapped and police were attacked trying to rescue the child.

"It takes a whole day to walk from (the town of) Sialum to the village in the mountains, where the child was held. The four (police) were ambushed and attacked by the villagers," he said.

"Gunfire was exchanged and one of the policemen was injured in the leg with an arrow. Another policeman fell over a cliff."

Police reinforcements were attacked and forced to retreat. The villagers then went on a rampage killing one man and chopping up his body and burning houses, Wampe said.

Wampe said riot police flown in Sunday were trying to negotiate a peace with the villagers and bring those responsible for the kidnapping and fighting to justice.

That's what we need in this country - a good old main-stream religion like Voodoo! Seriously though, this is fucked up, and not like the PA-Cult (which I know you fuckers are hiding) but legitimately messed up.

Slagmire on
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Posts

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    IMO


    IMOTEP



    IMO



    IMOTEP

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    God I hated those fucking monks just because of their goddamn chanting.

    Shorty on
  • BigDesBigDes Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    DId any of them get shot in the knees then suplex'd?

    BigDes on
    steam_sig.png
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    lostwords wrote: »
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    all the mormons i know are the lame not-drinking preachy kind

    i don't know any crazy polygamous ones

    i need to get to know some wilder mormons

    Pony on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    all the mormons i know are the lame not-drinking preachy kind

    i don't know any crazy polygamous ones

    i need to get to know some wilder mormons

    visit utah

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Jack Thompson accusation in five... four...

    cj iwakura on
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  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    all the mormons i know are the lame not-drinking preachy kind

    i don't know any crazy polygamous ones

    i need to get to know some wilder mormons

    visit utah

    visiting utah

    or as i like to call it

    storming the beaches of mormondy

    Pony on
  • HarrierHarrier The Star Spangled Man Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I like how the inspector is named Augustine.

    Harrier on
    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
  • eryu90eryu90 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    This like Resident Evil 4.

    eryu90 on
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    TheBlackWind on
    PAD ID - 328,762,218
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Harrier wrote: »
    I like how the inspector is named Augustine.

    Augustine Wampe sounds like a dude who needs his own Vertigo comic series

    Pony on
  • Si SenorSi Senor Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Shorty wrote: »
    God I hated those fucking monks just because of their goddamn chanting.

    MOBI DES SEDEEM

    Si Senor on
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  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Man I want to break out my Gamecube now. But I have to go somewhere in like half an hour. :(

    SA on
    WoW: Revash (Cho'Gall)
    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • CokomonCokomon Our butts are worth fighting for! Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Just like the Ewoks.

    Cokomon on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Arrows pierce bullet proof vests as if they weren't there. :|

    Metzger Meister on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    voy a matar

    PiptheFair on
  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Just like using tanks to attack cities that are defended by spearmen in CivIII.

    SA on
    WoW: Revash (Cho'Gall)
    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • TDLTDL ClubPA, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Arrows pierce bullet proof vests as if they weren't there. :|

    Yes and no. Depends on the vest.

    TDL on
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    My sweet, untouched Miranda
    And while the seagulls are crying
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  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Arrows pierce bullet proof vests as if they weren't there. :|

    well since it was through the leg, yeah I'd say the vest probably wasn't there

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I just have the mental image of the riot police sitting around all, "These guys have arrows. Maybe we ought to just negotiate instead of shooting back with guns."

    TheBlackWind on
    PAD ID - 328,762,218
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I just have the mental image of the riot police sitting around all, "These guys have arrows. Maybe we ought to just negotiate instead of shooting back with guns."

    yeah there's pretty much no way to positively spin the image of your riot cops gunning a bunch of archers down

    even if you stand there flailing your arms going "THEY WERE A CRAZY CULT THEY SHOT PEOPLE!"

    you're still a bunch of riot cops with smgs hosing down some dudes with home-made bows

    Pony on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Wren wrote: »
    So wait, am I to understand that this village ruined some shit...

    with arrows?

    Arrows pierce bullet proof vests as if they weren't there. :|

    well since it was through the leg, yeah I'd say the vest probably wasn't there

    You shut your mouth I was making a point do not embarass me in front of company or by god you'll be having one of your accidents. :x

    Metzger Meister on
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Well, I was really just kidding, since I don't really think it is all right to gun down a bunch of people either... but OK.

    TheBlackWind on
    PAD ID - 328,762,218
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    I just have the mental image of the riot police sitting around all, "These guys have arrows. Maybe we ought to just negotiate instead of shooting back with guns."

    yeah there's pretty much no way to positively spin the image of your riot cops gunning a bunch of archers down

    even if you stand there flailing your arms going "THEY WERE A CRAZY CULT THEY SHOT PEOPLE!"

    you're still a bunch of riot cops with smgs hosing down some dudes with home-made bows

    who happen to be trying to kill you and sacrificed people

    PiptheFair on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    all the mormons i know are the lame not-drinking preachy kind

    i don't know any crazy polygamous ones

    i need to get to know some wilder mormons

    visit utah

    visiting utah

    or as i like to call it

    storming the beaches of mormondy
    pony I laughed really hard at this

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    its the south pacific. you can get away with anything there if you just dont let reporters in

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    I like the cults that just recruit girls with low self esteem to be sex slaves and make polygamy a-ok.

    all the mormons i know are the lame not-drinking preachy kind

    i don't know any crazy polygamous ones

    i need to get to know some wilder mormons

    visit utah

    visiting utah

    or as i like to call it

    storming the beaches of mormondy
    pony I laughed really hard at this

    i'm glad someone did i was hearing some damn crickets

    Pony on
  • Si SenorSi Senor Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    voy a matar

    mueres mueres mueres

    Si Senor on
    sigging2.jpg
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    voy a matar

    mueres mueres mueres
    ¡Vos voy a romper a pedazos!

    Butters on
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  • Jimbo the ImpressiveJimbo the Impressive Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What the hell could possibly cause you to decide killing a dude is a great way to cure AIDS? It'll cure HIS AIDS, sure, but not yours.
    EDIT: You ever been reading two things at once and gotten them confused? Yeah.

    Jimbo the Impressive on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What the hell could possibly cause you to decide killing a dude is a great way to cure AIDS? It'll cure HIS AIDS, sure, but not yours.
    EDIT: You ever been reading two things at once and gotten them confused? Yeah.

    stupidity

    PiptheFair on
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    If you killed everyone with AIDS, then it would spread a lot slower.

    Defender on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited May 2007
    if you killed everyone without aids, then it wouldn't be an illness any more!

    bongi on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Defender wrote: »
    If you killed everyone with AIDS, then it would spread a lot slower.

    Or you could just give everyone AIDS.












    AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!

    Metzger Meister on
  • Jimbo the ImpressiveJimbo the Impressive Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Dammit, now I have this urge to yell "POOL'S CLOSED!"

    Jimbo the Impressive on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited May 2007
    actually i think it would still be an illness

    bongi on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Dammit, now I have this urge to yell "POOL'S CLOSED!"

    POOLISCLOSED.jpg

    Pony on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    you know reading the whole article again, but with the benny hill theme in your head.. its actually pretty funny.

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • HarrierHarrier The Star Spangled Man Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Wren wrote: »
    you know reading the whole article again, but with the benny hill theme in your head.. its actually pretty funny.

    Yakkity Sax can make anything funny.

    Where's that damn 9/11 video again?

    Harrier on
    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
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